katastrophic

'There is a man I know who has lived here 30+ years and his girlfriend asked for a new car, he bought her a toy car and she left him.'

good chance that would happen 'back home' too?

Not sure Thais are very happy when you take the p*** out of them.

And the girlfriend asking for a new car is not taking the p... too?

theoldgit

Agree.

Many DM readers do seem to be a "sandwich short of a picnic" but they are allowed to vote and walk amongst us!

When I lived in England, I was a Daily Mail reader. I sincerely apologise for voting without your knowlege of politics, and even worse, walking on the same ground as you and whoever 'us' is.

BTW, the Mail has the second largest readership in the UK. Must be a lot of sandwiches missing.

And your preferred reading is....?

More and more often i say to myself, get out of this LOS. When i read the norwegian news, i cant see it is any better there, we have multiple cultural problems in a small country who let in far to many so called asylum seekers, in fact economical refugees looking for the scandinavian welfare system. There also its a lot about loosing face, the bullshit loosing face culture. But where to go and hide theese days, live out ones life in peace and tranqulity, feel safe for crazy gunman and other lose face idiots. Not be scared for our girls from rapists from cultures where they look at women like shit. I guess it must be the north pole.

The North Pole does seem a safe option to live, if you discount being mauled by polar bears!

The pathatic little pri.k is probably out with his drinking/doper buddies this weekend , bragging about how he has everything taken care of, no more problems from that little snitch. Lets go find some new conquests and party.

If it was my daughter, sister or mother, he would seriously have to watch his back.

Why? Are they good fighters?!

Matey, he could have all the power in Thailand. If anyone lays a finger on A female member of my family in this way, all bets are off.

And yes, my daughter at least, would probably kick his ass, being busy about to take a black belt in taekwondo.

Hey, sorry you took my post seriously, I did put an exclamation mark at the end. Of course I would do the same as you if any member of my family was treated like that. I apologise if my sense of humour offended you.

The pathatic little pri.k is probably out with his drinking/doper buddies this weekend , bragging about how he has everything taken care of, no more problems from that little snitch. Lets go find some new conquests and party.

If it was my daughter, sister or mother, he would seriously have to watch his back.

Why? Are they good fighters?!

The vermin claims the picture was taken a long time ago. I'm no expert, but can you not determine when a photo was taken via a computer?

...and if it goes to court, "this woman is an evil bitch, she deliberately used her eye socket to hurt my fist, then she had the audacity to lay on the floor and smash my boot with her cheekbone. Lock her up for good."

OK, so I spelt dye wrong, works if you say it, but not in writing!

Perkins the Cleaners in England if they are still trading. They died a suit of mine a lovely fawn colour. Yeah, I'd like to die there if they will employ me.

It is common knowledge, even in Third World countries, that mosquitoes will only spawn in still clear, clean water.

49,000 infected and only now the Public Health Minister issues this statement?

It appears that not only justice and police move slowly in Thailand..

Where did you get these facts from? It is not "common knowledge" that the breed in clear water (mosquitos do not "spawn").

Also they have NOT "just released" this statement. Y ou just need to read the news more.

There has still not been any speaker warnings on SSCC Pattaya yet about them coming around to spray but I imagine this will happen any day now (I hope).

Has anyone in other areas experienced them driving around spraying yet?

This is truely something to be concerned about AGAIN.

Intensive spraying around my area last week (Thep Sathit Chaiyaphum).

I don't know what they use, but it was similar to a flame thrower with smoke instead of flames.

I didn't even read the article.

I saw the headline 'PM: Corrupt officials in rice scheme will be severely punished' and felt sick to my stomach.

calling kettle pot the black

Rearrange the words to create a better headline!

OK, I'll try:

PM: In officials scheme, will corrupt rice be severely punished?

So Thailand has more white elephants than Myanmar, but still wants to borrow one from them!?

Is the one in Myanmar more real/whiter? Just asking.

"Unlike many of Myanmar's white elephants, most of those in Thailand are not albinos, but have pale skin and other characteristics, such as fair eyelashes and toenails."

Do you have LAW for farang in Thailand ? I hope the new law will not only be for tourists but also for investors, and that Thailand step off of the 49/51 tactics.. And certainly in the "Isaan", there is still the law of the prehistoric times, and without a word thai you stand nowhere "Isaan". Now it is better not to invest in the "Isaan", And there are plenty of better alternativen as "Laos". Unfortunately for the nice people who are life a poor and lazy live ! (ISAAN ~~ breeding area for "pattaya girls ~ Easy money from farang !." I mean certainly not all the girls!

One great mix of poor grammar and great cliches in the best TV tradition.

Reading through the post you are criticising, I would guess the poster is not a native English speaker. Fair play to him for effort. Agree with the cliches though.

Delighted to see a snake???? My MIL was bitten by a snake in her kitchen and had to spend the night in hospital.

A snake had her own kitchen?

And after school, a lot of the older kids use a different kind of tablet.

It seems religion is no less corrupt than politics.

Every day, I thank God I'm an atheist.

+ 1 I truly believe in your religion, as well. Imagine there's no heaven......

There is no heaven , no hell , no god, you only live once, so enjoy and het rid of that stupid mindset .

What stupid mindset?

I said I was an atheist, the 'thank God' bit was meant to be humourous. Oh well.....

It seems religion is no less corrupt than politics.

Every day, I thank God I'm an atheist.

They should be proud to have fake cannons. In a country where fake is the norm, including the fake Thai smile.

according to the O.E.D., the plural of cannon is cannon.

So poor that they can afford laptops, mobile phones and tablets that they sit there using the free internet for ?

I suspect that's what they're in there for. The free wi-fi.

Stop the free Wi-Fi and issue a password to meal paying customers if requested.

I know many expat ladies who fly to Hong Kong for their hair

They offer good haircuts over there, including frontal lobotomy.

Yes ! Lobotomy is definitely needed with haircuts here, to avoid the post hair cut depression ! That or just cut the whole head off

Lobotomy? I thought lobotomy was the thickest string on a French guitar.

My partner refers to Yingluk as 'Prime Minisister.

She was watching a TV program showing a guy mixing something in a jar. I asked her what it was about. She said, "placenta for beauty product. I thought it a bit strange so I explained what a placenta was, and she replied, " no, he is placenta (presenter) for beauty product!"

I have been visiting Thailand for some years now, but I have never been to Bangkok. This current topic is of some interest to me as I intend to visit Bangkok on my next trip (late December). I note that a few contributers have cited Bangkok as a safer city than many major cities around the world without any concrete evidence. I thought this would be worth a Google and I found a list of the 50 safest cities in the world. Unfortunately, Bangkok was not on the list.

You can check it out here:

http://best-city-reviews.com/index.php/200...ld-mercer-2008/

2,000 is fair enough. All of you were lucky, a cobra is one mean ass snake when cornered. Count your blessings.

Imagine if it had gotten into the house unnoticed and bit someone later. And the value having a dog. Good doggie!

Now another snakebite joke...

3 guys go on a camping, fishing trip far off in the wilderness.

One guy while taking a leak is bitten by a rattlesnake on his penis. The other 2 are in shock.

They are afraid to move him due the concern of speeding up the venom to his heart.

They decide to go to the nearest town for help. They get to town, find the only doctor, but he is too busy to go with them.

He tells them they can do the emergency treatment themselves. Cut the wound, suck out the venom, tie it off etc.

They race back to their friend.

'

Where's the doctor?'

'He couldn't come, he had other emergencies'

He couldn't come! Well what did he say?!!!!

'He says you are going to die'

Another nice little snake story:

A baby snake slithers up to his mum and asks, "mum, are we poisonous snakes or constrictors?"

Mum snake said to baby snake, "we are constrictors" to which the baby snake replied,

"thank <deleted> for that, I've just bitten my lip".

Thanks to everyone for clarifying the difference between yaak and ow, but I was interested in Milos reply who said "Take=Ow" as in "I'll take a beer". Would "ow" still be used in other forms such as, take care, take notes, take your time, etc?

I'm sure this has been asked for before, but can anyone clarify the use of yaak or ow (sorry, I can't write in Thai yet!) for the English word "want". If I ask for something in a shop, I usually say "pom yaak.........", but if I don't want something, I would say "mai ow khrap". Are there any rules that govern when or how to use either word? Thank you in advance.