saliSa112

Yes. Every story has two sides of it. Nobody doesn't want to hurt anybody especailly in relationship as husband and wife. If it doesn't work out as a result of unfaithfulness, one has to leave it behind and move on with a new chapter of life.

SBK, just want to let you know that my daughter will be two at the end of this month.( Time flies!!) Life is so beautiful. Thank God for this little girl.

I did, I lost my farang husband to a Thai girl, but I gained a very happy life later on.

At first, I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I just let him have fun for a while. After he saw the paperwork from the court, he got wokeup. It was too late. He kicked that Thai woman out off his life and tried to get back to be with me. I don't care for him anymore.

Now, I quit the job to be a full time mom and I don't worry about the financial at all 'cause the court order him to pay for us every month.!! ( why work? let him work and pay for the lesson).

Obviously, you are not happy with him at all. Don't fool yourself. I was like that before. Being with an alcoholic is like in the hel_l. You are sick of his alcohilc habits. Let him drink until he drops. That's his life he is ill and has discease. It's hard to cure. No one else can help him besides himself.

You are still young. There are tons of love out there waiting for you. You can't change him the way he is. At the same time, he can't change the way you are either. Both of you are different.

You will be happier with someone who doesn't drink, who likes to be around his lover, who likes to do things together.

It's tough to make a decision at the begining. Once you make it, you'll feel like..you have power in yourself that you can make anything better in life.

The sooner you make a decision , the less frustration you will have.

Good luck

I accept that I failed in this relationship. I made a mistake that I married him. Whatever happened in the past I don't regret it anymore.

Up until now, I still couldn't believe what make my ex-husband change that much. Is it from the lust and the love toward that woman making leaving his family and his child behind? He plans to live in Thailand for good. I can't believe this. He has a very good job in the U.S. When he retires, he will get a very good retirement over a few million dollars. Now, he gives up. He said he wanted a simple life at Phuket. what a thought?

I'm in process of healing. I go to see the counseling, read the self- help books that will help get through with this pain. At the same time,I'm so busy with my daughter. She is three and a half months now. Now, I'm starting thinking what is my plan... like when I should go back to work? who will be my babysit? Where am I gonna stay? There are so many things that line up for the future.

Getting divorce and going for the lawyer in the U.S is very expensive. I had no idea until I got all the paper work. Also, the process takes longer than I expect.

Anyway, I look up for a bright future even though it is tough now. My friend wrote to me " just think about how many things you achieve in the U.S.."

http://travel.state.gov/family/services/su...pport_2595.html

Q. HOW CAN A U.S. PASSPORT BE DENIED TO A PERSON OBLIGED TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT?

A. U.S. passports cannot be denied based on requests from private individuals. 42 U.S.C. 652 (k) provides that the Secretary of State must deny issuance of a passport to a person who is in arrears of child support of more than $5,000 based upon a certification to that effect by the Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS). See 22 Code of Federal Regulations, Section 51.70 (a) (8) . If a person applies for a U.S. passport or other consular services abroad, and that person's name does not clear the Passport Name Check System due to an outstanding child support obligation certified by HHS, the U.S. embassy or consulate will deny the request for a passport or revoke a passport already issued.

The person may be issued a limited validity passport which is also limited for return to the United States. "Revoke" means that the U.S. government has officially removed the passport from the person - it does not necessarily mean that the original passport (which may include multiple foreign visas) is destroyed or canceled. If there is a hold for HHS certified child support reasons, the passport will not be returned to the person until the name clears the passport lookout system. The formal passport revocation letter prepared by the U.S. embassy or consulate informs the person that the passport is legally revoked and he or she is not entitled to it until HHS gives the Department of State official permission.

See also: http://travel.state.gov/family/services/su...pport_2611.html

and http://travel.state.gov/law/info/info_608.html

Happy Hunting!

Thank you for the information. It's helpful. I really appreciated your thoughtfulness.

The other way I can do ,if he obliges to pay child support, is claiming on his social security. When he comes back or files the tax, he has to pay back to the government with another 10% of the interest.

I accept that I failed in this relationship. I made a mistake that I married him. Whatever happened in the past I don't regret it anymore.

Up until now, I still couldn't believe what make my ex-husband change that much. Is it from the lust and the love toward that woman making leaving his family and his child behind? He plans to live in Thailand for good. I can't believe this. He has a very good job in the U.S. When he retires, he will get a very good retirement over a few million dollars. Now, he gives up. He said he wanted a simple life at Phuket. what a thought?

I'm in process of healing. I go to see the counseling, read the self- help books that will help get through with this pain. At the same time,I'm so busy with my daughter. She is three and a half months now. Now, I'm starting thinking what is my plan... like when I should go back to work? who will be my babysit? Where am I gonna stay? There are so many things that line up for the future.

Getting divorce and going for the lawyer in the U.S is very expensive. I had no idea until I got all the paper work. Also, the process takes longer than I expect.

Anyway, I look up for a bright future even though it is tough now. My friend wrote to me " just think about how many things you achieve in the U.S.."

I want to update to all friends who support my ideas and notions.

I gave birth to a very beautiful baby. She's precious. Now, I'm filing for a divorce. My husband brought that woman over here. I wonder how could she get a visa. She visited him for a few weeks. I don't care for all his business. That's his life. His intention is moving to thailand.

The sad part is he never comes to see his baby. In a way, I'm so glad 'cause he always drunk. Eventually, he'll be in Thailand, I don't have to deal with him for a long time. But i have to prepare myself to answer all the questions that my daughter has asking about her own father.

The day that I signed the paper work with my lawyer, I was confused. Not because I want to get back with him..no way. But as a Buddhist, I feel guilty that I want something from him. Anyway, when I think about it.. I have to do the best for my daughter. I have to raise her by myself until she graduates from college. He'll run way. So, he needs to take responsibility on that.

That's o.k my life start a new chapter with a beautiful baby!!

Hello Ladie - I am new to this Forum, but I got recommended, that I might find some Advices or helpfull Tips for my present Situation :

I have a 3 years old Daughter with an English Man, but till now, I did not get ant financial Support from him.

This English Man lives here in Thailand most of the Time, but goes back to England every 2 or 3 Months a Year.

What Rights do my Daughter have here in Thailand - and in England?

How I can make this English Man supporting my Daughter?

Are thre any Laws in England for such a Case?

And the worst Thing now, he wants to have "half" of her ( taking my Daughter on his Name, without paying me any Money, what I have spent to rise my Daughter in the last 3 Years )!

I will appreciate any Suggestion, Help, Information or Tips .

Hang tough saliSa112!

You are better off without him!

Take the best revenge possible - have a happy life without him!

Not that I would ever advocate revenge! I am advocating happiness!

To Jamessc2000

Thank you for the message. I know that I'll be better off with him. I don't need this kind of man around me. He'll not make any situation in the family better, it's getting worse.

In a week, I'll have the most beautiful thing happens to my life...my baby will arrive. I'm so excited for that. I'll be a mother and a parent.

The other part, I can ignor it. I'm completely done with him when he told me to put up the baby for adoption. It shows the true of himself being selfish and irresponsible.

I'll do everything to be the best for me and my baby. I'll live and raise my baby in the U.S.. Even though I don't have family around, I can do it. I always believe " I can do it and do it better". I see many good opportunities in this country for my baby like education, health care, and the quality of life. I'll take advantages from those benefits for my baby. Hopefully, someday she'll attend the top university and be the best person as she can be with loving and caring of her mother.

Prior, to his shagfest in Phuket (I quote Bendix), had this type of behaviour been evident previously? Had the marraige been having difficulties? Was the pregnancy a tool to repair the marraige?

To mrtoad

The pregnancy is not the tool to repair the marriage at all. We plan to have the baby togther. He was the person who got me the ovulation strips and planned to have the baby togther When I was 3 months pregnant, he was so happy about being a father. So, early this year, we went to do the Thai wedding during that time I was about 3 1/2 months prenant..

I couldn't get going anywhere with his family after the wedding, i was so exhausted. He went with his family. The day that he's supposed to come back to the U.S., he called me at the airport letting me know that he changed his mind and wanted to go down the South by himself. He gave me the reason that he wanted to have fun before he became a father. I was upset about it, but I couldn't do anything.

When he got back to the U.S., he called me regularly. I was in Thailand spending time with my family about another 3 weeks. He called me telling me how much he missed me and the baby and wanted me to come back. he told me he couldn't sleep, he wanted me back so bad.

When I came back, I knew something was wrong. He told me that he ws nervous to be a father, he wasn't ready for that. He told me to leave him alone to adjust himself. A few weeks later, he told me that he didn't wantto wear the wedding ring, it was too loose. After that he started drinking more and more until he can't control himself. He started bringing up about the relationship, itturned to be the fight after all.

Until last month, I caught him. he 's been unfaithful to me. He accepted that. He told me he couldn't control himself, he's in love with her. he wants to move to Phuket. he comes to talk to me about the divorce.

That's all about the story. I can't do anything with him anymore. The only thing i can think ofis my baby.

I'm still in shock with what happened to me. It happened so fast like turn the switch on and off.

Anyway, my life has to go on. I look up to something positive for my future.

That'll be nice if the Tsunami hit on the property that he pays for. That means God gives him the reward from his deed.

Whatever he wants to do, I can careless. I don't see him as a human anymore, he's an evil. How can he come talk to me that he wants a divorce when I'm ready about to have a baby in two weeks? Also, he wants to put up the baby for adoption. I don't know what part of his brain he used. Thai people will say

" he use his foot not his brain". (As you know Thai people believe that foot is the lowest part of the body, it show disrespect or ignorance).

He wants a divorce really bad, so he can take off to Thailand to live with the girl in Phuket.

He told me he's in love. Yeah right, how can someone say he/she is in love after they meet only twice? in love or in lust, give me a break.

He wants a divorce. Yeah, I'll give him one.. a very good one.

I'm turning myself to be more American girl not Thai girl anymore. I'm more assertive now, not shy and submissive like a typical Thai girl anymore.

I don't know what happens to him, he is such an idiot. He makes pretty good money in the U.S. The job, he has, provides many good benefits including retirement plan. He's 34. How can he retire that young age? What can he do in Phuket beside being a pimp? He plans to open up a business over there and also wants to buy a house. He asked me if I can help him to buy property over there. He wants to put everything under my name. What an ass.

I'm glad he'll be gone. I want to tell that lady " welcome to the hel_l, thank you for taking over". I don't think anybody can be with him. He drinks a lot everyday, likes to party really hard. Once he's unfaithful to me, why can't he do it again with the other lady?

At this point, I don't really care what he wants to do or who he wants to be with. If he does move to Phuket, I'll be glad to get a full custody.

Dear all;

Definitely, I have to leave my husband. Tonight, after he got loose, he told me that he is in love with that Phuket girl. He wants to leave for Thailand by the early next year. He's ready to go. What an evil.!!The baby will arrive in two weeks, he has already planned out to leave. What a wonderful father!! In a way, I'm glad that he'll leave, so I don't have to deal with him anymore.

He told me that he needs me to sign the paperwork saying that I wouldn't sue him for alimony. He said he didn't mind paying for child support, but he didn't want to do anything with me. Well, when men are in lust, Is it always like this?

Now, I know that I'm married with the evil. He didn't think about how we met at the university anymore. , Back then he always admired me that I value on education, family, etc. Now, he values simple life style in Phuket with teh hooker. that's sad.

To Canadiangirl

Thank you for the message.

Yeap, I consider my marriage is over. There is no use to be together anymore. I can't be with his drinking and talking on the phone with the other woman.

He has no respect on the marriage. If he did, he would not sleep with that lady on the trip that we went for the wedding. After he came back to the U.S.only a few months, he flew to sleep with her again.

I'm still in shock what happened to me. It's like..turning the switch on and off so quickly.

I'll have a few friends come to help me. I know it'll be tough, but I'll be fine.

To Justagirl;

Definitely, I'll leave the ass, it's matter of time and resource. Right now, I have only two weeks to go for my pregnancy. WE've been talking about separating. He's been b.s. to me that he would move out so many times. I've packed all my stuff already. I'm waiting for my baby to arrive after that we'll be gone from his environment.

AS a Buddhist, I do believe in the deed of people. Whatever he's been doing to me, it'll get back to him sooner or later. I learn how to forgive and forget in order to be happy in life. He is a sick man, sick in the head, He's pathetic. Anyway, that's his life. I can't do anything with it.

I don't regreat with the past 'cause it's not my fault. I look up for a beautiful future with my baby. I try to be positive in everything. Also, I do believe in myself that I'm a strong person who can do anything and do better for tomorrow.

I still can't believe that my husband is unfaithful to me. It's really shock. On top of that he will choose that lady over me& my baby and has a plan to move to Phuket.

I talked to my friends. We believe that some farangs are very fasinated in that kind of women. They are very good in bed ( from what I heard). I have a few friends working as tour guides in Phuket. When they heard about my story, they didn't surprise at all. They said it happens all the time that stupid farangs got divorced from the wife and moved to stay with that kind of women. They will be fun for the begining after that those farangs will realize that the life over there is full of sh.. not in paradise like they dream. They will become the third class people not the first class like when they are the tourists anymore. Living and visiting will be totally different. It'll be hard for him to get a job or do business in Phuket. He will end up just like a drunk farang at the beach. My Thai freinds told me that's good let him go and stay in Phuket. Once he is unfaithful to me, he will do it again to any girl. Too bad if he does it in Thailand, he would have anything left even his d***. Well, I'll wait for that day.

Thank you for all support. I'll do my best for myself and the baby. I know that will be tough to be a single mom. With all the love that I have for my baby, it will turn to be a real happiness.

When I was 7 months pregnant, he went back to Thailand again giving me the reasons that he had some companies to talk about the business. I could say anything 'casue he planned out everything already. Eventually, I found that it such a b.s. trip, he flew to sleep with her for almost 3 weeks.

I still can't believe what he's been doing to me. The day that I caught him, I called back to that woman. She told me that she knew he is a married man. He told her, but she likes him. She told me don't worry about anything. It's new, so they are so excited for each other.

I told both of them that it's immoral and sinful. It seems..like there is no use to say that. They are in lust, so whatever I don't think they care.

They are so addicted to daily conversation. I look up his cell phone, that lady basically calls him everyday. Sometimes, 10 times a day. He always returns her call. I don't know how much he spends on her or gives her the money. That's fine, in the near future the government will tell him how much he has to take care of us.

Thank you everybody for the support. I asked him to move out so many times, he's been b.s. to me so many times. So, after my baby arrives ( within 2 weeks), I'll move out. I can't stand in his environment being an alcoholic and a son of the b.... I cried a lot and asked myself ..why? why? and why?

Now, the sadness turns to be the strength. I talked to friends and his family. They all support me. I know it'll be hard at the very begining, but as a strong person, I'll be fine.

I haven't told my family. I feel like..we went to Thailand to do the wedding in Febuary. Now, it's July, it's too early for my family to accept that especially my parents who are from the old school. I have to shut my mouth up for a while. I have friends who can help me. My husband concerns about paying child support. He even told me to talk to him first before taking him to the court. He said he would quit all the job, so I wouldn't get any money.

Two weeks ago, when he got drunk a little bit, he asked me if I ever thought about putting up the baby for adoption? what a f....question? From, the question, I'm really done with him. He has no human feeling at all. He worries so much about his money. I never thought I'm married with an evil.

To Notthailady

Your situation is a lot better than mine. They are only contact by e-mail. In my case, my husband is talking to the Thai girl in Phuket by phone. I'm Thai, He is Farang. They are talking to each other everyday. I've just found out about a month ago. I caught him. He's been unfaithful to me.

We went to do the Thai wedding in Fabuary this year, I was 3 months pregnant. So, I could not go on the trip with him & his family after the wedding. He went with his family to teh north an dteh South, and the last day he was supposed to come back to the US. He changed his mind, flying by himself to Phuket. He met that lady. She is assumed as a hooker, but he doesn't believe in that.

I told him I'm upset and asked him to stop talking to her. Guess what? He told me that he couldn't control himself. He turns out to be drinking a lot and stay out really late. He wants to move to thailand, saying that life is simple and he can makes money over there by having a small business in Phuket.

He's addicted to alcohol and affair. I can't help him. I have only a few weeks to go for my pregnancy. I'm focusing me and my baby. I can't deal with him anymore. He turns to be an ass to me.

So, it's hard when men is addiacted to those two things especially the affair. I have to be strong raising my baby in the US. Life is tough, but we can make it happy.