RY12

You know, it's been a while since I've posted on this forum, and I'm sure there's dozens of posts similar to this, but I must express my observations as to how vastly superior Thai girls are compared to other girls in the world when you're a (now) single guy, mid-twenties looking to meet people.

Maybe I'm just a socially-incompetent creepy expat weirdo, but more often than not, I've found the women in this country more charming, easy-going, funny (even despite the language barrier!), reasonable, under control, and physically attractive than even the best "highly desirable" women back in the West. I've tried dating in my home country and it's just so profoundly awful- all the girls have their little agendas, mental and social "issues", ridiculous preconceived notions of the "right man", insecurities about gender roles, feigned feelings and artificial sentiments, playing "hard to get", and a whole litany of other problems that make relationships with them seem inconceivable to me. Not to mention that our women are so obese, if there's even one that's mildly attractive, there's automatically a dozen guys to compete with and she undoubtedly has a f-cked up, deva personality.

Well, I assume this forum gets posts like this a lot, and it's not intended to be an affront to you honest guys out there I know have been screwed by some thai girls in the past... I just thought I'd throw it out there and see if anyone else in my situation that agrees with me?? Anyway, I look forward to the encouraging replies, and the half-sentence snarky quips that will undoubtedly follow as well.

In Germany, or Europe in general, you qualify as a great 'philosopher' if you write anything more abstract than a business report. It is a competition of wittyness and sophistry, with little actual experience to back up the fanciful words. Nietzsche is the idol of depressed teenagers and autonomic, insecure germans , ....he glorified the 'blonde beast'... the argument stops there folks. I have no interest in such a joker, nor his 19th century views on Buddhism, the latter of which requires years of arduous self-reflection and mental concentration, not a few idle strokes of the pen whilst drinking saukerkraut wine in dusseldorfenberg.

Over the last 6 years, the biggest obstacle I have found to doing consistent samadhi (meditation) practice is NOT physical pain, nor is it lack of concentration or lack of will (e.g. getting fidgety and wanting to get up and do something), but rather, it is a gross malaise that creeps in during my sitting. I'll mediate consistently for a week or so, but by the second week, every time I sit dow,n I get this heavy depressed feeling, and I start have hazy flashbacks to unpleasant or boring times in my life (it's rather banal, not like a Stephen King tremor or anything). The result is that I feel quite anxious and I have to get up and walk around to relax. It's not like my samadhi per se is poor- I'll be capable of counting all my breaths without interruption, it's just the background buzz in my brain is this nauseating malaise.

I know I'm supposed to "let it be" and not get involved with it, but what do you do when your mind is so out of control that's not even possible?

If you're on the jetty in the breeze and you're someone with a good level or mindfulness, you are more likely to notice that you're missing a lovely day worrying about tonight's dinner, and focus your attention onto the warm sun instead. When you make this change in your attention, you change the functioning of your brain, and this can have a long-term impact on how your brain works too.

I certainly hope he's right about the long-term impact, I haven't seen much improvement in my mindfulness practice over the last 6 years.

I must admit, I had different expectations about what this thread would be about when you used the word "neuroscience." I personally don't think there is anything that profound about mindfulness- it is merely a samadhi exercise in concentration. I think mindfulness is, neurologically speaking, an attention exercise. Thus it is impossible to keep up mindfulness when attention has to be distributed in many different places, such as when one is working. The example of the guy in the jetty above is not about mindfulness, it's just remembering the 'big picture', which you don't need minfulness to do. Mindfulness does become profound when spasms of vipassana and prajna occur during its practice. Those latter two terms, again in my opinion, are psychologically speaking the complete LACK of attention on any particular thing. When the mind is conscious but attention becomes non-existent, the mind experiences enlightenment. Having had that experience, attention can arise again but without any notions of selfhood attached. This is my view of the neurology of awakening, I'm not pleased with it so if anyone has a better idea, post it!

Asia's Finest Lao Chat and Thai Chat are mostly second generation Lao/Thai-Americans... under 25 years old crowd. Not much substantive discussion there but there are history buffs that know what they're talking about.

As an American who knows little about England, I can tell the difference like night and day between the low class urban Brits (they always seem to be talking about places like manchester, liverpool, and wearing soccer crap) with their strong accent, and the higher class or maybe just rural Brits who seem well-mannered and amicable. I assume the former is just leaft-over peasants from medieval times, who didn't have the creativity to come to the US. Australians tend to be more civilized, and Canadians always so. Americans are somewhere in the middle being culturally insensitive but trusting and friendly. I dare not speak of the foul creatures of the Continent...

Japan has the second largest "self-defense" (i.e. army) in the world, it just renamed it so it would satisfy Article 9. The reason to have that article is not to do with religion, but simply that the Japanese, and the Germans for that matter, demonstrated clearly that their societies are not capable of dissenting or opposing tyrannical militant government. These dense nations full of a servile peasant mentality towards one's place in society are highly dangerous, I would wait at least a couple more generations until granting the Germans or Japanese full military capability. jeez, the germans especially, they started like 4 aggressive wars in europe, two of which were World Wars in the modern age. The English haven't started an aggressive war in Europe since like their 18th century meddlings in France right?

Autonomous creatures can only ever act through pursuit of desire and repulsion of suffering, to claim one is possible of doing anything else is a lie. 'Equanimity' is a stylistic demeanor feigned by practitioners ever so keen on attaining happiness. The scene where the fundamental teachings of the Buddha are practiced and learned takes place in the anterior of the brain far, far behind this stressful interplay of emotions in the prefrontal cortex. There is absolutely no reason, neurologically or logically, why a learned person possessing enlightenment would not still be capable of profound joy and enjoyment or deep suffering. imho

on a more basic note, whenever i'm really stressed out or depressed about something, i just simply recall how short and ephemeral life is, and it really does work if you deeply consider it. It's amazing how much suffering in our lives is based on the fallacious presumption, in the back of our minds, that we'll live forever.

'Connected' as defined as equivalent constitutional nature and 'connected' meaning actual transplantation of thoughts or experiences between minds are not the same thing, I don't think the latter has any history in Buddhist teachings. Seems more like shamanism to me.

I'm trying to decide if my gf should apply for a 10 year multiple entry or just a single entry- does choosing the 10 year hurt your chances by implying long-term plans to the officer? or do they always mark it down to single entry and only give the 10 year after she's returned and applied again?

they have same day service usually, expensive though. also be forewarned that thai nationals can only stay 7 days their first visit to china, though my gf skimmed by unnoticed upon exiting with a 3 day overstay.

It's becoming apparent that some of you cannot distinguish between observation and affirmation- I'm describing racism, not propounding it.

I don't think I'll take parenting tips from some civilian contractor in mesopotamia that thinks its ok to have a kid . multiple-posting newbie secessh can't even compose coherent thoughts... the mods don't like squabble, i therefore cease.

I'm not quite sure why you posters are assuming I'd ever compromise my love for my kid or wife for these hypothetical, mild reservations I'm having about mixed kids in general. Of course if I fell in love with a Thai woman I wouldn't think twice about having kids with her, and if I had kids, I'd love them as well and raise them properly. The only thing I'm talking about now is musing about ideals with a clean slate future.

I'm likely going to have to work in a redneck northern part of the US, where basically if you have eyes darker than light brown you're looked at funny. I don't want my kids to be some statement about tolerance, etc., I just want them to be accepted in their community even if that community happens to be biased. Of course it's possible to be successful if your mixed, but I bet Obama often found himself irritated by the lower scum of society treating him different. It's not going to be that big of a deal of course, especially since half asian isn't that exotic looking. But hey, if I have a choice, seems like I might consider these things. Many of you don't have that choice because you already got involved with someone special and it wasn't an issue anymore.

My thoughts here aren't excuses for not wanting my current particular relationship, I am genuinely concerned about the physical appearance of my potential kid in society. Maybe some of you are right, if I love my gf enough and get married I won't be concerned anymore about the kid's appearance... but in my current state, having a good but non-serious relationship, I find myself mildly troubled about how such a child between us would look. it's not serious or anything, it's just that i'd want the kid to have every advantage

I know aspects of this topic have been covered before, but I was wondering if anyone out there has ever decided NOT to have a mixed race (thai/farang) kid for whatever reason? I'm still in my early twenties and having kids is a far-off goal, but thinking about it has seriously made me think about whether it's moral for me to keep staying in a relationship with a gf I'd never want kids with. I know this sounds trite, but one of the main things I'd worry about is that my kid would be short... I'm average height (5'10'') but with the gf, I don't think he (if) would ever be over 5'7'' If the kid has other problems, being short could seriously mess him up. Also, I'm worried he'll have jet black hair or eyes, despite the fact I've heard that half asian kids can be blonde (like their father, me). If he were to ever live in the US, I wouldn't want him characterized with Mexicans, Mediterraneans, or other Asians for his complexion- it's racist I know, but it's a reality that people discriminate in the US. So what do people think? Do are mixed kids looked on as handsome in your home countries, am I overthinking it?

Keep your mouth shut and you can have both, open another apartment for visiting girl

2 Pu Yings are better than 1

Yap

well, i only sleep over with the current gf like twice a week... maybe i could get away with making up an excuse for not doing that for 3 weeks that would fly (e.g. 'i'm sick so let's just meet for lunch', etc.) but 3 weeks seems like she'd notice something was up. The typical guy would probably just attempt to do that (i.e. have both at same time), but i wouldn't be able to relax with that tension.

Well it's not exactly cheating, but my current Thai girlfriend and I are overseas, living in different accommodation, and an old Thai girlfriend of mine has called to say she's coming to visit me for a few weeks, and there's no way to hide the visit from my current girlfriend. I generally know to just follow my instinct when I finally tell my current gf the truth or my version of it, but I'd like to get advice if I should expect anything in particular (violence, etc.). I'm fully aware the sharks will have a field day with this post, and i'll be torn a new one by some, but it'd be cool if some of you could try to make your best assumptions about me rather than the typical worst and see where i'm coming from .

Background of the situation- I'm in my twenties and the two gf's are really the first I've had (so I'm still kind of new to the scene, being a reclusive person before this), the first came from a very poor background with the usual thaivisa story behind it... we were together a couple years and she got really attached to me... I tried telling her a few months ago it wouldn't work out longterm just cuz we were so different (and other personal reasons), but her utterly innocent and helpless situation, especially considering the entirely unjust lot she'd been given in life, made it too hard for me to cleanly break it... also because she was my first and I was scared of being alone. She never cheated on me or requested money, etc etc. Well, that weakness on my part has led to the current situation where I met a new thai gf from a more hi-so background (actually she hasn't spent much time in Thailand) a couple months ago in this other asian country I'm currently working in, and now I have to find a way to tell this current gf about this visit coming up from the old one. I can't say no to the old gf visiting, partally cuz i'm scared of losing her and may still like her more than the new one, but also practically becuase she needs to come her for a few weeks to do a visa application that may substantially improve her life if granted.

My plan is just to tell the current gf that I was naive fool who got attached to a poor country girl who was bad-fit for me (I will have to lie where i met her of course) and I just have to help her out with this visa thing then it will all be done. Yes the old gf will have to live with me, but I can't have sex with her because of this-and-this (there actually are some real reasons why I couldn't) so it's more like a friend i'm trying to convince i can't be with anymore, so you don't need to worry, etc. - will this work? the old gf really is only going to be around for like 3 weeks then leave.

I dunno, my gut tells me this might explode disastroulsy with the current gf, but I really can't throw the old one in the gutters just yet... it just wouldn't be morally right... hopefully the new gf will be able to understand my compassion in that regard, and not just think I'm a rouge serially cheater who finally got caught. Ugh, I'm never going to let this happen again...now I see why it's good to get experience with relationships in junior/high school rather than when you're older and more is at stake in life.

Hi all, I'm recently coming out of a slump in LOS and am in Japan for a while, I was curious if anyone knew if there were any establishments here in Tokyo that have specifically Thai company for gaijin like myself. I haven't actually been out on the night scene for years, so a tame place would be preferable, the only place I've heard about in Tokyo is Roppongi and that sounds really rough (sleeping pills in drinks, theft, outrageous prices) but maybe it's no worse than parts of bkk? thanks

top this:

So if I were to ever want to move on to a new girlfriend, you all think it's morally better to sit her down, tell her "I've met someone else (and want to have sex with them)", and then say it's over (and then move on to having sex with the new person, and it's not 'cheating' anymore)? Breaking up with someone seems really cruel too, but I've never done it before. Alternatively, wouldn't it lessen her pain if she found out I was cheating and broke up with me out of anger???? Quietly sitting her down and telling her i want to move on seems like it would be really hard on her- she'd blame herself... but if I cheated, then she could blame me.... (is this rational?)

I know it's an heated topic, but i'm kind of new to the scene and was wondering if there were generally accepted times when it's ok to cheat on a girlfriend, (not a wife), besides revenge. I guess i don't really mean 'ok' as much as 'morally tolerable.' With so many sexual diseases these days, I'm wondering if it's strictly never ok because you're essentially gambling with another person's health when you cheat and have sex with the old partner again. There does seem a valid line of thought that one should try other things to see if they really appreciate the original thing, sortof a necessary contradistinction. My guess is that cheating is ok if the parties are both young, especially high school, since young kids shouldn't get stuck with someone just because they were the first to come along. I might also apply it to people new to relationships, since without any perspective, the scope and depth of their admiration for another seems like it would be limited.

FYI- I ask that no posters respond to the inevitable, pithy one-sentance troll posts that will occur, no matter how clever or offensive they are It is the responding to trolls that gives them life, not their posts themselves. Let's see if we can make at least one relationships thread in General Topics that is free of one-sentance quips.

That's a tough one- being married would probably help for the countries your not a citizen of (UK, Australia, Canada, etc.) since it shows that both of you probably won't stay there. But it would most definitely hurt to be married for the US tourist visa application, since they'll assume she'll stay with you. Then again if you don't say your married, the US people are definitely gonna wonder where she got the money to go to all those other countries ("he's just a friend"?). I actually don't know if ladyboys have ever gotten a visa from the US embassy, I wouldn't expect them to be intelligent or open-minded enough for that. good luck

dustybones, u have a right to profoundly angry at this situation which has infringed on your fundamental rights as an American and especially as one who served. Don't listen to all these idiots saying 'it was your fault' for getting involved in her application, my guess is that she would have been denied anyway. Also don't listen to these bull$hit arguments saying you should blame the illegal immigrants and not the embassy, the embassy is entirely to blame. The guys who get the visas usually just have a lot of money or lucky (e.g. some have gotten John McCain to write a letter) and thus tend to patronize those guys whose girls can't get the visa. I've thought of boycotts too. Bush recently let Koreans enter visa free, I really hope the new administration will expand on that as well.

hmm.., again, I think most Americans in Isaan would probably appreciate more that the consulate spend their extra energy perhaps, i dunno, giving our thai gf's something better than an arbitrary, racist dismilssal of all their visa applications ...than to take some veiled vacation to Udon Thani.

It's absolutely absurd.

It astonishes me more people don't talk about the insanity of that retarded bureacracy.

All I want is a site that has say hourly updates on the thb-usd rate, but I can't find any! A bunch of them post radically different rates and some are 2 days behind the others... any recommendations?