dimplejoe

Whatever hoops we have to jump through to stay here, plus the frustration experienced with 90 day reporting, the ever changing immigration rules/requirements etc,. Possum1931 and Ace of Pop are right in their assertion that the UK especially, could learn a lot from Thailand.

Recently I read about a couple of guys on long term overstay who were being deported. They were caught flouting the rules and are in jail until their fines and airfares have been paid.

In similar circumstances in the UK, once caught they would either be bailed only to disappear; or if locked up, would enjoy three square meals a day, (special diet if of an ethnic persuasion), access to medical care, hot showers, gyms, cable TV, pool, video games etc,. rather than the squalor of a Thai jail.

No deportation but rather a court appearance (defended by legal aid) where some lawyer will claim their human rights would be breached if they were deported because they have a pet goldfish or some such.

Make promises to give her more - Not directly, rather start suggesting that you think you ought to build a bigger house and perhaps buy some land to plant rubber trees on. Make a list of stuff you'll need, add a pick-up truck and tell her you think it a good idea to buy a pick-up truck for the house build/farm so that you don't have to pay someone else to haul your stuff.

Plant the seed of hope that there is going to be more money, nurture the green shoots of her greed, let it it grow to its full height and watch the expectation of the fruit being picked.

Then run.

And leave her to explain the failed expectations she's already told all her friends and family about.

better yet, plant the seed, then have the family stump up a depisit for the truck, break ground on the house etc, then do a runner

This is most definitely the way to go my friend - remember, revenge is a dish best served cold

This link will track her mobile - it's free and really works - http://www.trackapartner.com/

most of my money is in small change in my pocket..............

The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners.

It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person.

This is a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials.

You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, an announcement:-

"Attention to all standby passengers, We are happy to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London."

BRILLIANT

BRILLIANT!

My wife speaks English well but we still have our moments.

One evening she rang to say she would be home in half an hour and did I need anything from 7/11 on the way.

Nearly out, I replied "just some cigarettes please".

She came home and presented me with a couple of Mars Bars, having heard "just some chocolate please".

On her first visit to the uk at a family dinner one evening, she was asked what she liked best about me.

There was a pause while she translated the question and answer in her head and with all eyes upon her she smiled and said "He very very horny".

This met with a bit of a communal gasp, disapproving looks and a stunned silence.

Realizing she had made some sort of gaff she quickly went on to say "He not talk lie - always horny"

Just to let you guys know, today I received a full refund from Loudmouth, not just for the goods ordered but also for the Fedex delivery charge.

How nice to deal with a decent company on the internet.

I'll now try buying locally, but should this fail, I'll re-order but use USPS for delivery hoping that this will avoid the ridiculous import duty.

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story was published in the New York Times:

"American archaeologists, finding traces of 250 year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians".

One week later, the British authorities reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely naff all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."

You WILL get shafted - both on import duty and probably on export when you leave - go elsewhere

I am pleased that this thread has now returned to it's intended 'lighter' mode.

PS: Dimple Joe Frank the Yank - do you or Dangerous Dave have any pictures of Fiona you can post on here ?

Are you stalking me fatboy? I thought you were off to Cambo.

Posting pictures of Fiona (even the one in the blue Niqab) would cause mass apoplexy among the members here I'm sure........

Maybe the quote feature is turned 'off'.

Or maybe using it requires having a clue.

Could be the former. Most likely an element of the latter.

ps. Monkey's bite.

Most people reading my footnote would understand the joke (however lame), but obviously you have a sense of humour failure.

Someone who has spent so much time in front of his computer on this forum, should realise that use of the term "Monkeys" is frowned upon here – see post #17 above.

It may be wise for you to tone down your language and perhaps you should get out more.

There is a real world out there beyond your screen, full of fun and excitement, I'm sure it would help you lighten up.

Joe Ekkamai - Agreed, and in your case the import duty is many times higher than my measly 3900Baht.

The fact that the export and import are only on paper makes it legalized theft in my opinion.

It's ironic that such high value items are a mere bagatelle to the wealthy types who make their money from these sweatshops and scams.

Patronus - No need for penance dear boy.

Your error was trivial and is far outweighed by your perception regarding my original post; which was totally altruistic, intended to warn other simple souls like myself in a jocular manner.

Street Cowboy - Initially I was confused by your earlier post (#15)

You couldn't really understand my frustration or disappointment and indicated that 10,000Baht was a reasonable price for a golf shirt, shorts & visor.

Wow I thought, this guy is probably a very rich Nazi banker, (not sure if that is the correct spelling) or perhaps a Russian oligarch; but your detailed knowledge of prices on Sukhumvit Road made both somewhat unlikely.

Your post (#27) however, points to you being a Scottish person. The reference to a six year old victory over the English gives the game away and probably later we will hear how you beat them in 1478 or some such.

But I do understand how you have suffered far more frustration and disappointment than the rest of us and it does you credit that you have retained at least some sense of humour.

This saga is ongoing Jocky Boy, I don't have the merchandise or my refund yet, but watch this space......

Footnote - This would be so much easier if I could work out how to use the quote feature on here....

Gentlemen, if that is the correct form of address.

A fool I may be, but at least I have a reasonable command of the English language, I can spell, type and I try to make sure my posts – even the insulting ones - make sense.

Samran – what does Telling him "to get his hand of it" is futile actually mean?

Maybe you meant off it....

Katacove – what does visitor of mean ?

Maybe you meant visitor to.....

Your assumption that I am American is based on what?

The fact that I attempted to buy goods from that country, or that I admire efficiency and technology?

Surely a much less reasonable assumption than mine regarding a Made in Thailand lable (or label if you're American).

Patronus – why would I seek the advice of erstwhile TV members?

I suggest if you want to use big words to impress, it might be a good idea to check what they mean – maybe you could ask an adult.

To save your time in looking it up, erstwhile in fact means former........

This is a bit like a tooth ache really, it goes away but keeps coming back niggling at me.

I'm tempted to have a pop at the more pompous replies, but I think it's best to treat them with the contempt they deserve.

The suppliers Loudmouth, who have been a pleasure to deal with throughout; when advised of the problem instantly promised a refund once they received the merchandise back.

Using the tracking on Fedex I find that the package has been languishing in their Bangkok facility since I refused to accept it on 14^th June.

Maybe the m m m m magnificent Thai people dealing with it are not as good as some would suggest.

Initially on being offered a refund I assumed I would still have to pay for the Fedex delivery, which seemed reasonable considering Loudmouth state clearly on their excellent website that they have no control over import taxes etc.

Unfortunately, the website clearly shows items labelled "Made in Thailand" which is mis-leading.

It is a reasonable assumption that someone living in Greece, Guatamala or Gambia or wherever, is likely to pay import duty on something made in Thailand, because each country likes to protect it's own workforce from cheap imports.

Equally, if the items were marked "Made in Gambia" someone living in Thailand should reasonably expect to pay import duty.

However, if the items were labelled honestly i.e "Made in a place in Thailand which is only geographically in Thailand, while for tax evasion/avoidance purposes it is actually not in Thailand " which is it appears the case; knowing the ridiculous import charges the m m m m m magnificent Thai customs charge, I would never have placed an order.

I wouldn't be surprised that once good old John Daly hears about this (I have sent links to Loudmouth for this thread plus TD and Buriram Expats) he wll fly to Buriram and present myself and whole the membership of The Happy Endings Golf Society with complimentary oufits.

When he does so, I will happily pay his green fees at Khoa Kradong for 9 holes - we'll probably even let him win - and I'll chip in for a breakfast at the Bamboo Bar or if he prefers at Muang Pizza.

I tried to buy golf shorts, shirt and hat labelled "Made in Thailand" cost $168 US from a US company - import duy/tax $130 US.......I politely refused to accept delivery

See my topic A Saga of frustration and dissapointment.

Thank you to everyone who took the trouble to reply to this thread.

Your comments have taught me a lot.

For the moment I am resigned to playing in my normal attire – spangled thong and string vest.

However, I intend to explore all lawful means to obtain some of the clothing shown on the Loudmouth website and a special thank you goes to those who have pointed me in the right direction.

Maybe a 56" pair of shorts will be somewhat snug, but I think it will be worth it to make such an eye catching fashion statement.

I unreservedly withdraw my "monkey" comment and apologise to anyone who might feel offended by it.

Any foolishness was of course on my part.

Being a simple soul, unversed in the machinations of big business and globalization, I assumed that something made in Thailand was just that; but it seems I was wrong.

Most people have heard of the golfer John Daly and seen his "different" style of clothing.

You can see it here http://www.loudmouthgolf.com/ and if you look closely, you will see that it is manufactured here in Thailand.

Wishing to cut a dash on the course and happy to support industry in my adopted country, I decided to buy some.

I e-mailed and asked if I could buy here in Thailand but had to do it via the US. No sweat, the website is user friendly.

Prices are a little high, but it's good stuff and it is supporting the poor buggers in a sweat shop somewhere in Bangkok.

Shorts, Shirt and Visor cost about 6300Baht including shipping.

I paid a small premium to have my order sent via Fedex (delivery 14th June before 5.00pm) and was pleased with the tracking facility and childishly enjoyed following the progress of my package across the world.

The whole thing was a marvel of US efficiency and technology - until it arrived in Thailand......

Loudmouth San Francisco - Order placed 9th June, Order dispatched 10th June to Fedex

Fedex - San Francisco to Memphis arrived 10th June, Memphis to Anchorage arrived 10th June

Fedex - Anchorage to Guangzho (China) arrived 12th June (crossed date line)

Fedex - Guangzho to Thailand arrived Fedex Samutprakarn sort facility 13th June 3.27am

Great stuff so far, but now the monkeys get hold of it.....

Fedex - Samutprakarn sent to International shipment release 13th June 6.56am

Fedex - Samutprakarn back from International shipment release 13th June 1.07pm

Fedex - Samutprakarn Tendered to authorized agent for final delivery13th June 1.34pm

Fedex Agent? - Samutprakarn sent to International shipment release 13th June 1.34pm

Fedex Agent – Samutprakarn to Buriram arrived 14th June 3.00pm

Unfortunately when the package arrived it came with a bill for over 3900Baht import tax and I politely refused to accept it.

Those of you who have been paying attention will remember that the bloody stuff was MADE IN THAILAND, so the import duty designed to protect Thai jobs is doing exactly the opposite.

You really couldn't make it up......

Try this http://tv.blinkx.com/

I'm in need of Thai books in Braille.

Any subject any age.

They are for a blind 13 year old girl who has been abused.

She is very bright and avidly soaks up information from these books but has exhausted the supply in the local education service.

Any "talking books" again in Thai would also be much appreciated.

If you know where I can buy such things please let me know.

Thanks

By the way ! Where is the nearest MacDonalds in Isaan ?

The Mall in Korat has a MacDonalds - makes the shopping trip from Buriram bearable

The old Sawatdee Krap bar is now under new management.

It has a new name "FRIENDS".

Arne and his "lovely" wife have departed and Chris and Wan now have the place.

Chris is the pie making Maori that many of you will know, so expect the food to be very good.

He just started today (12th).