mrnosey

Hi I am new to these forums and found it whilst I was trying to get a grasp of the whole farang-thai relationship.

Ok let me break down the situation for you guys and hopefully someone can give me some advice as to what to do.

Firstly im a young guy in his early 20's and was recently in Phuket for my 2nd time. Now im a pretty clued on kind of guy but I am just really confused about this whole situation.

I met a girl in a bar during my stays there, she is 20 and very nice. We danced, we drank, we kissed.. her older sister (mid 20's) asked me when I was leaving if i was taking her back to my hotel. Now because I am new to the whole situation I was taken aback and declined, more so because I was rooming with a female relative so as you can imagine it would have been impossible. I freaked out a bit because from her demeanor and the way she acted she DID NOT seem like a stereotypical prosititute. I replied with, "I am not paying for anything", and her older sister laughed and said "no no you werent going to, its not like that". The girl (younger sister) seemed to like me very much, more than one would presume if you were after someone for money. Now I met with these girls again the next 3 nights at the same bar.

The second night in particular was strange because I turned up 2 hours after our predetermined time and she was still waiting for me albeit not happy at the start .

Her older sister stated that she had many "customer but she wait only for you", in broken english which again freaked me out. We danced kissed etc and myself and my female relative walked her and her older sister back to their hotel. The older sister seemed to open up a bit, saying that yes she sometimes goes to bed with foreign men for money but she doesnt like it. Told me how much she got paid, spoke to me about her distaste for thai men and that she wanted to meet a nice foreigner to take care of her and her child. She has a daughter showed us photos etc. It was a pretty in depth conversation for us not knowing them very well. The younger sister said she had never been with a man for money unlike her sister and that she had no job and got money off her sister. They were in phuket to get some money and live in a town in the North east of the country. I had arranged to see her during the day and she asked if her sister could come with her, im not sure if that has any significance but im including it incase it does!

I have kept in contact with her over the last couple of weeks and I have already penciled in that I will be back to Phuket in January. She calls my mobile almost daily, sends me messages and emails on a daily basis. My friends and family think I am gonna get taken for a ride and are making sure I dont fall for this girl! She never asked for money off me even when I offered to give her some (testing the water). My question to you guys is how would I be able to know if I am going to get played. I dont want to get my feelings hurt, nor do I want to hurt hers. I also dont want to miss out on the opportunity of knowing if this girl is actually legit. She said that night she saw me in the club was the first time she had been there.

What should I say to her? Is 5 months too long to hold onto something that was built in 4 nights? Please help me out... this farang is confused

Ok you've got some research to do mate!

Thing is, she may have some 'customers' but don't necesarily let that put you off! If you like her and she likes you then you need to establish that honesty is the best policy. go see her again and enjoy yourself :-)

In the mean time try and find out as much as you can about Thailand and everything that happens there.

Some people will tell you you're going to be taken for a ride but if you understand how the game works you can't get burned, just the same as it is in your home contry.

Try and understand how these girls life has been and what has motivated them to end up in a bar in phuket. Get your head around the idea that there may well be other guys in the picture as well but that doesn't have to mean she doesn't have feelings for you.

Read as much as you can and try and get your head around it all.

there will be people on here that tell you they wouldn't touch a bargirl for longer than a couple of hours but you have to make your own mind up, you are both young so just enjoy your self mate. Sounds like she's a lot of fun and she's interested in you as well.

tell me, have you sent her any money?

if you do start doing that then only do it like you would if she was here, like to buy her something for her birthday or send her some flowers or something, don't get into the whole sending her half your wages every month and have her tell you ' honey i not work bar same same like other lady only sell drink and wait for you'

Make sure you get the whole truth and that you can get your head around it.

She might not understand that you value the truth so highly, but talk to her gently and if you can get an honest relationship going then great!

Be ready for the idea that she may well be working in the bar and has customers like the other girls do. It's just a fact of life. Doesn't make her a bad person, just makes her a bar girl.

Hope it goes well and you get some thing out of it, when i say get some thing out of it i mean a beautiful Thai girl who treats you well when you're there and makes you feel good.

Good luck mate :-)

Spoken like a true pimp.

Look, the kids only 20. He needn't be running around with hostess girls.

Plenty of time in later life for that.

Shes my sister - I met her last week

I don't like Thai men - Except for my Thai Boyfriend

You not same customer - You same customer.

Shall I go on?

I do hope this troll has legs.

Read something on the net the other day, thought it was a good tip.

Make friends with neighbor and tell you like parrots and want to see the little bastard bird. Bring a small botlle of Draino and throw in his food/drinking water. It will burn it's throat so he will not bother you for a week or so.

Good luck!

BTW, I like parrots..........

Better idea. Have a wander around Chuchucak market pet section and tell them you are in the market for a mute parrot. Once you have bought said mute bird cunningly exchange it for the one next door.

What do you do with the noisy bird? Refer to the recipe above.

Problem solved.

I recall reading the foreign office website warnings re Thailand 10 years ago and it was just as scary.

The main two dangers here (which aren't listed) are road accidents and romantic attachments with people of dubious occupation.

Your wifes sister needs to email her details from the bank

iban number from bank

I think that should be SWIFT number. IBAN numbers are for European banks.

Yes it is SWIFT. All they have to do is walk into a bank and say 'we need to recieve some money form abroad' - The bank will then give them a slip of paper with all the information they need - bank name, bank address, bank tel number, a/c name, a/c number, swift code.

They can then telephone the details and the op can send the money. It will take about 5 working days to arrive.

As for the benifery name - as long as you have spelt it roughly correct in english it should not matter a bit. The bank won't hold it because you transliteration is slightly wrong..

Do they not have friends or family they can borrow from until they get their banking sorted?

Gold they can pawn?

I wouldn't panic too much as I am sure they got by fine before in the past.

I've worked in Thai companies where local employees have gone missing for a week and then come up with some lame excuse. It seems that Thais don't operate the same way as we do in the west when in comes to these things.

Theres a place on soi Ekami, on the left at the mouth of the soi nearest the BTS. Forget the name. Very good resturant and not too expensive.

If paying a salary, it's only fair that you give them weekends and public holidays "off" to spend with their brother- Maybe throw in a medical insurance plan (which covers family members) and a company car too.

Why make it an issue. Many guys I know have traveled the up chocolate esculator with a 3rd gendered thingy. Do you suppose most girls would bother to tell you that they have experimented with a little taste of the hairy pie - unless during dirty talk.

Trannys can be very nice and a change from the same same girlies - just keep your hand on your wallet.

firstly its impolite to call them "thingies" but , I have to admit i was amused by the other euphemisms.

Personally I was more offended by following - "have traveled the up chocolate esculator" phrase.

Clearly the grammar and metaphor are incorrect, nevermind the spelling. To 'have done one up the marmite motorway" would be, prehaps, more appropiate given the context of the paragraph.

Leeches are a problem when camping in the jungle. Best way to deal with them is to leave a circle of salt around your tent.

I give my wife all my money, stops me from spending it

Well done sir.

With regards to the American minority social groups of color underacheiving, I lay the blame at the current trendy Hip Hop "gangster culture"... Nobody wants to step up to the plate and do a hard days work anymore. they would rather "pimp some hoes" or perform a "drive-by".

I, for one, prefer the closed topics.

I enjoy Playing Role Playing games like Dungeons & Dragons, and Vampire the Requiem with my friends in Bangkok. I probably spend a few grand a year on books and going to conventions and such.

Nice hobby.

It's probably all innocent, unless they have gone on one of those tandem bike tours !

tandem.bmp

If theres one thing I can't tolerate it's intolerant people.

good one!

The full quote was from the Austin Powers sequel "Goldmember". It was, "there are two things that I can't stand, intolerant people and the Dutch".

Full quote?

If there's another thing I can't tolerate it is people taking my original quote on an internet forum and claiming that it is part of some quote they saw in a movie.

No problem with the dutch, mind.

Maybe you never saw the flick and you independently came up with it, but it was a quote from the movie.

Could be. It's a nice distraction from all this blacks/Asian/whites nonsense though!

If theres one thing I can't tolerate it's intolerant people.

good one!

The full quote was from the Austin Powers sequel "Goldmember". It was, "there are two things that I can't stand, intolerant people and the Dutch".

Full quote?

If there's another thing I can't tolerate it is people taking my original quote on an internet forum and claiming that it is part of some quote they saw in a movie.

No problem with the dutch, mind.

Farang men like Thai Women as they are generally more socially polite, gentle, well manered then their western counterparts.

And are Farang men more socially polite, gentle, well manered then their Asian counterparts?

I did type a sentance in my post to that effect but then deleted it. It could cause offence to Thai male TV members.

If theres one thing I can't tolerate it's intolerant people.

Then keep your 'nose' out.

The only other thing I can't tolerate is 'noseism'

Farang men like Thai Women as they are generally more socially polite, gentle, well manered then their western counterparts.

If theres one thing I can't tolerate it's intolerant people.

first of all before I start this topic, i want to explain the category of Thai women I m talking about here, it s generally those who are available to most foreigners.

....

i realized that most of those young farangs married to Thai women are carrying a heavy luggage on their back, wishing to get rid of it sooner or later.

Only read half of it and what a load of <deleted>.First post and i hope last post for you,you are an idiot of the highest order mr troll.

Why ? He makes a valid point. A lot of people see their wife as no more than a maid. A lot of western women don't see it this way anymore. The sooner these people realize Thailand is not the right place for them either, the better.

whos a lot of people???? i dont know any of my mates who treat their gf/wife as a maid.Anyway the op said many were lazy????.How can you get married and treat her like a maid,sounds stupid,surely would be better to get a maid then go out and be single.

Cheaper too

The OP didn't mention religious activities, but for the active Christian family Pattaya has a much greater diversity of churches to attend. Hua Hin is very limited in this area, though it does exist.

A Christian family holiday in Pattaya? That was a joke, right?