Bobsyouruncle
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Posts posted by Bobsyouruncle
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"does love ever really enter into it,the family comes first.The first phrase i think they learn first and are instilled with is "take care" love as we define it in the west is not the same here in thailand,love comes coupled with "take care" meaning extended family most times.thais are practical when it comes to love,not dewy eyed like in the early stages of a western relationship."
Yes it does!
I have 2 farang friends that have Thai wifes and live in Australia.
Non of us send money back to Thailand and for that matter have never been asked to.
Our partners work, as well as contributing to the family budget. From time to time they send money home out of their own pockets!
There is the difference. How can you say Thais are not capable of love? Perhaps you need to look outside the bars my friend.
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Mine all work in bars. They keep me happy. I'm too old to work.
We know Ian....we know
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For goodness sake, try to understand the culture here.
And what is that (the culture here) To sell your daughter to the highest bidder or to live off her earnings as a prostitute
That could be an interpretation of some Westerners who understand very little about Thailand and its culture, I have a slightly different interpretation however.
Let me see if I can't put the term culture into perspective and call it tradition instead.
If you've ever been close to Thai's who are truly poor and live in small clusters in grass shacks with corrugated tin roofs, a single room that provides no privacy or protection from the elements and is full of mosquito's, 24/7; if you had listened to their stories about how their crops failed one year, a family member needed hospital treatment and there was no work to be had anywhere, other than perhaps 200 baht a day laboring on occasion; if you have seen the anguish as a parent tries to dress their daughters child in the best clothes they can find as they prepare her for school and worry about government loans that must be repaid and they have no idea how they will manage that, or even where they will find food for their evening meal unless they go into the hills and cut bamboo shoots. If you had seen those things then you would understand what it's like to be really really poor yet despite all of it, the family remains a family unit, it has love, support and that's really all they have.
So the role of the eldest daughter (and younger ones also these days) is to provide whatever support she can to that unit and most of the ones I've ever come across take that job very seriously. Some Westerners might call it prostitution but the Thai's will refer to it as working and don't get all hung up about western religious values of no sex before marriage - many Thai's will also see it as a trade off, you want me and sex, I need support for my family. At the end of the day nobody forces the Westerner to take the Thai girl and have sex with her, he could always go a totally different route in life. But if he chooses to take the girl, culture or tradition suggests he should pay, that's the tradition and from a moral perspective, it's not a bad one in my book. Of course, if your Thailand experience has consisted only of life on upper Sukhumvit or an apartment in Langsuan with the odd trip to Koh Samui, you may have no idea whatsoever what's being talked about here and couldn't possible begin to understand the concepts involved.
Nice post but LOVE was not mentioned even once!
I believe;
If she is in love she will protect you from all the nonsense that goes with marrying into a poor Thai family.
If she doesn't love you and she is only after your money then you have to pay bigtime.
It really is that simple
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We live in Australia and the wife keeps herself busy selling things on eBay.
On top of this I started her in the local weekend market and she absolutely loves it!
Both eBay and the markets keep her busy and productive and she makes her own money.
How does your wife keep herself busy?
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Living together, is not dating in my eyes, but then again I'm not 21 anymore. If you have moved in together, then you should show some sort of commitment to the family.
Show them what kind of commitment and in what form?
Surely you don't mean pay them money for their daughter do you?
I just can't believe some of the things I read on this forum!
Jing jing
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There's a couple of ways really....
first way .... click on the reply button under the post you want to quote.... then just delete what you don't want from the quoted text.
second way.... highlight what you want to quote and copy... click "add reply" .... click the quote button
... paste the test and then click the quote button again to close the quotes.I'm guessing the first way is gonna be easier.
totster
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Anyway...
Governments around the world are moving to ban this product.
Here's what the Thai health minister has to say about them.
"Public Health Minister Chaiya Sasomsab ordered a study on information of electronic cigarettes to find measures to prevent importing e-cigarettes to Thailand because existing law doesn’t cover the new product.
The e- cigarette consists of a cartridge, an atomizer, and a rechargeable battery. It doesn’t contain tobacco but it has nicotine, propylene glycol, a chemical used in a fog machine, and fruity taste. Each cartridge is the equivalent of 15 conventional cigarettes.
The public health minister said that although e-cigarettes don’t emit smoke, they pose harm to smokers with the level of nicotine higher than found in conventional cigarettes.
He ordered the Food and Drug Administration to conduct a study of e-cigarettes and to discuss with agencies concerned to draw out preventive measures.
Mr. Chaiya said the target group of this new product is..."
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You lost me on that one. I did see my bosses 'smoking' the things a few weeks ago, but even they seem to have stopped (smoking the electronic things, not the real things...)
Simon
Simon, this is the job you got right?
http://www.gingerasia.com/jobs-it-media-ma...ngerad6821.aspx
http://jobs.thaivisa.com/info.php?jobid=242
You are an SMS manager for Kinetic Solutions?
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They are a rort.
PM Simon43, he flogs them though a website he works for in Pattaya.
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My wife and son are constantly flying in and out of Bangkok using 2 passports, they have never been questioned in 3 years!
When leaving, the checkin staff allways want to see a visa for Australia so my wife just flashes the Ozzie passport for my son!
Coming back to Thailand she and my son enter on the Thai passport.
I thought it's completely legal for a Thai to have dual citizenship
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Why is it that is sounds like it is a baaaaad thing that she gives 1st priority to family (as in kids or her own folks). After all, family is blood. If those were your kids, half of their blood came from you and you are more related to your kids that to your wife. So if I were to choose between my kids and my wife, I would probably choose my kids.
It's a baaaad thing when the wife will put ALL her family's priorities first. He is not even in the equation.
It's a baaaad thing when the Thai wife kicks out the husband when the money runs out.
It's a baaaad thing when the farang husband suddenly decides to stop the money flow and the wife starts acting phsycotic.
It's a baaaad thing when the farang tells the wife he will no longer support her extended family and she kicks him out of his house.
It's a baaaad thing when.....Oh must I go on?
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I'm not use to write something in this topic. But because i'm writing a book actually i like to answer this topic.
It's depend if a marriage is based on money or on love. A young handsome Farang guy can turn a Thaigirls head away from her family, but only if she has no childern. A old guy will have no chance against the family, because a young girl or wife will stay with him only for the cashflow every month. I'm my self, i'm middle aged. But actually with all the opostunities we foreigners have here in Thailand, i don't see a reason to stay with someone permanently. In USA they say: "It"s cheaper to keep her". Here in Thailand it's, as so manything else, always the opposite way. It's cheaper to not stay in a relationship, just enjoy your life. No headaches, no lost houses, etc. Keep your cash in the bank! Unless you want to take someone permanently overseas. There is only a the solution of marriage. But then again, you have to be very careful who you choice. Remeber if a girl or wive who have kids from their ex husband or boyfriend, and if they living with her parents, the parents always can use the kids as a excuse to ask for some money. I personally not see the reason to rise and support someone elses kids.
Very good post Stingray.
I agree with you 100%
I see this too many times in Thailand, if the guy is old and ugly...money/family comes first.
If it is real love then the Thai girl will move to the ends of the earth to be with them.
Good to hear your views on Thai Visa and very good luck to you with your book.
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I am looking for some advice as to handle this situation...
My Thai wife and I live in a Quality House Village which has a good secure, family oriented, environment. Out of nearly 400 homes I think we have the one with the neighbour that is the 'odd one out'. He is supposed to have 4 massage parlours (so he told us), and comes across as a bit of a thai mafia style.
After listening to many many arguments between him and his wife, it finally came to an exclamation mark last night, with the husband firing 4 shots out in the soi at about 7:30pm. After hearing this I went down to see what had happened, found his wife out the front of their place, baby in arms, sitting on the driveway crying. I was going to ask her if she was ok, when I looked over into the house and saw the husband holding a pistol, at which point I quickly went back to my own place to phone my wife and get her to call the police.
During this time the couple continued to argue (screaming at the top of their lungs), about 10 mins had elapsed, and I heard their car start up. Once again, I went outside to see what was happening. The wife was now at the end of the soi, and the husband was heading towards her in the car. I stood out in the middle of the soi in front of my house, so the husband could see I was watching, hoping to deter him from doing something stupid.
When he reached her he opened the car door, got out, pulled out his gun again, cocked the trigger and pointed it at her head. I could not believe what I was seeing. Only one brave security guard stood by to observe, the rest just took off. By they way, there are many parents and children in the streets at this time. He did not shoot her, but dragged her back to their house, arguing continued, a load thud, then nothing.
By this time I am frantically calling my wife saying where are the bloody police, it must have been a half hour by now. She ends up having to get them from the police station, and bring them to our house.
When they get here, they were pathetic, so casual about something that is so serious, just a husband wife argument they said. They told us they could do nothing as they did not see it 1st hand they could only ring his doorbell, and ask him to come out. I could not beleive this, they have multiple witnesses, spent cartridges on the ground. After a few attempts they were actually going to leave. At this point I got very angry, and we basically had to bully the police into persisting to get the shooter out of his house, and down to the station. From what my wife overheard they took his gun away from him.
We shouldn't have to put up with this in our environment, nobody, in any country, should have to.
What Thai laws has he broken?, what are the penalties?, how can I best handle this?
My wife wants to keep a low profile, but fcuked if i'm going to cower in my own home, especially since he would be the only one of his sort in the village. It's actually become a very sour issue between my wife and I.
Any advice?
Welcome to Thailand!!
If you want to live in a cotton wool environment I suggest you don't live in a third world country.
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I never bought a house without living in it first. Even then there is no guarantee.
Go to where you 'think' it best suits you for say 6 months, then decide.
I know Pattaya like the back of my hand, and can hibernate there if I so wished.
Give us an idea of budgets also.
Bubba
This place runs on hi-test vitriol, only
How do you do that?
Do you ask the seller to take it off the market so you can live in it rent free for a year or so untill you decide to buy it or not?
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What a fasinating thread!
My good friend here in Australia had a similar snoring/breathing problem as you many years ago.
I understand you don't have a weight problem but the thing is, my friend lost a lot of weight, cut down drastically his drinking, excercised, ate healthy foods, in other words he completely changed his lifestyle.
These days he still snores but nowhere near as loud as he used to. His wife can sleep with him again and his breathing problems went away.
Mobi have you tried changing your lifestyle? of coarse this isn't the solution but it certainly worked for my friend.
Good luck mate, please keep us informed of your progress.
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The OP seems to have disapeared, Troll perhaps?
I think there is another side to this post. If you reading through the OP's previous posts they are mostly about drinking, bars, pubs & clubs. Maybe his wife has good reason to get rid of him.
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The new life is so 'new' and so 'good' that I even changed my avatar to a phoenix rising from the ashes
Simon
Nice one, very appropriate. Enjoy your new found freedom.
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Having endured 4 years of hel_l with my mentally ill ex, I have to say that the best decision that ThaiVisa members gave me when I first raised the problem was:
RUN!!!
(even tho you said don't mention run....)
To elaborate, unless you have deep pockets, the chances of this woman receiving competent medical and psychiatric assessment and care are extremely limited. My experience of government hospitals/doctors was that if the patient was not willing to enter a mental institution, (and that often means if her family were unwilling to agree to this), then they would simply prescribe strong sedatives to render the person incapable of walking or causing any problems to the carer. So it turns them into a zombie, but at least they are unable to attack you!
There is a private psychiatric hospital in Bangkok, but the fees rapidly add up and I'm pretty sure that this woman will not have insurance to cover it, especially if she is Lao.
If you want to try to assist her out of the goodness of your heart, then you are putting your own health (mental and physical) at risk. Mentally, you will be under a great strain as you try to cope with her 'insanity'. Physical - well you mentioned the knifes! I had the same problem with my ex (knives and bottle throwing). The local police were totally uninterested when I reported her actions... Now I have to live 800 km away from her, in an unspecified location so that she cannot stalk me
Importantly, if you cannot get the support of her family (does she have any here in Thailand?), then no-one in authority is going to listen to you - unless you pay....
Good luck, because you will need it - a lot of it!
Simon
Wow!
I have just finished reading through your posts Simon.What a journey you have had!
It is all too common that Thai wives suddenly get mentally ill, usually it is after the farang husband has spent all his money!
A friend of mine is going through it at the moment, the problem is his wife has completely convinced him that she has mental problems. It is obvious she is just trying to push him away!
Good luck with your new life.
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You could try to PM Jungian see if he cooled off, but he seems kind of serious. Jungian was running a free clinic at the university hospital where he works.
Sheesh... after reading some of his posts, I'm not so sure.
Anyway, like I said... a "qualified psychiatrist" is what she needs to be evaluated.
Failing that, he could sell you a half price BMW.
At least that would cheer you up.
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For every farang that is packing it in there are two that are moving in to take his place.
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http://www.cctravel.dk/html/thailand/thail...ailandfanta.htm
According to this site it's because King Rama V always drank red fanta.
Believe it or not. I like the lotto idea better.
That can't be right, you never see a statue of King Rama V out the front of a house or business!
I like the lotto idea too
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Surely "We won the lottery" is the first line of excuse for any (legal or illegal) excessive income?
Its not like there isn't any paperwork involved with claiming a lottery win, besides - why would you keep it a secret, but still be seen spending loads of money.
Are you kidding!
When someone wins the lotto in Thailand EVERYONE knows about it!
The papers will come and take photos and they will be on the front page of every newspaper
There is no anonymity option for lotto winners in Thailand
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My wife doesn't know allthough she seems to think the habit originated when someone offered red Fanta and then won the lotto!
All she knows is it's about good luck.
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I posted earlier today that there is no way I would ever send my kid to a 'Thai' kind of school. Top tier international, yes. Thai-run prathom or matayom school with classes of 45 dumbed-down students being taught nearly nothing by poorly-trained Thai teachers - no way.
PB, there is a whole wealth of middle ground between top-tier-international (Prem?) and the local Temple school. There are Thai private schools, bilingual (and even trilingual) schools, religious schools and other Internationals. As above my kids go to an English Program in a top-tier Thai private school - it was certainly not money that made my decision for me (they went to private school in the UK since they were 2 y/o at a cost greater than Prem charges). Indeed, many people complain about the run-as-a-business-rather-than-a-school and conveyor belt attitudes and service that seems to come with the Internationals.
Wolf, you sound like you are very happy with your childs school.
Can I ask what Thai Int. school you send your child to?
And if it's not too personal can I also ask how much you pay in fees?
My family and I are moving to Thailand soon and we have a three year old son. I am trying to gauge what educational needs my son will require in the future.
Thanks in advance.
... paste the test and then click the quote button again to close the quotes.
What Changes Would You Like Seen Made To The Thai Constitution?
in General Topics
Posted
Good post!
This man knows what he is talking about.