damnaam

Pudgimelon - you have all the facts at your hands, I imagine you've read the bit about me probably being able to get some TV work out in the far east - on the cricket tours out that way and the asian tour golf too - these pay more than the B1000 a day I've earnt in the past as a dive guide there.....

I agree that there is no 100% effective method of contraception but you're out of your mind if you think I'm the only guy ever in the world who thought that the girl he 'stuck his dick in' was on the pill, so that should MASSIVELY reduce the chances of her conceiving. Even then, she stopped taking it. I certainly didn't know about that!

Yes, you have all the facts available to you, but still you choose to make an uninformed, knee-jerk, and I'm sure you're familiar with the term JERK, reaction. I don't have a problem that you disagree with me and criticise me. I'm open-minded about what may happen here and will definitely be making the 7 hour drive up to Scotland to try and make the birth, if I get there in time, because I owe the child at least that much and also need to find out if I really can walk away from this but your reasoning just doesn't make sense. You're a waste of 'virtual paper'.

Hi Halo and thanks for your input. Your incisiveness and unique commentary on Thai culture is omnipotent and quite breathtaking...

There's an almost beautiful symmetry going on in this topic in that all the useless replies appear at the top and bottom

Joined Thaivisa the day I got back from my last foray into the L.O.S Did anyone mention a comfort blanket? Good analogy.... Had something that had been knawing at my sanity for months and consulted this forum, making my first post in the process, yesterday. So that'll be 4 months then. Posting is the new black for me :-)

O.K guys, I'm back from work and having read your comments would like to thank you all for your comments, excepting of course, the two I have already responded to in an earlier post...

A little more information. She's 31, lives in Scotland. I'm 36, living in London. She has only one ovary left after having had the other removed due to a 'growth' a few years back, the remaining one may have to come out too now, after she gives birth. She gave me a get out clause "I'll get rid of the baby if you promise me we'll get back together again and try to make things work...." but in the knowledge she was unlikely to be able to conceive ever again, my conscience weighed too heavily and I had to be honest and say it was unlikely to work. So, yeah, I MUST be stupid......

As I mentioned before, I come from a broken home - my parents split up when I was six and me, my brother and mother moved a long way from where we'd been up to that point. Odd then, it may seem, that I appear to want to inflict this on a child of mine. Fact is, this is the last thing I ever wanted and something within tells me maybe I should give it a go, for the sake of the kid, but as I already know in my heart and DaveThailand and ThaiPauly pointed out so well, I can't see any value in bringing up a child in an environment which is not full of mutual respect and love and in any case is doomed to fail. The way I see it is if the child grows up with one parent along with, albeit distant, support from the other then surely it's better it knows how things are straight up than having the rug ripped out from under it's feet as it's parents go their seperate ways a few years down the line?

TingTawng makes a great point about how much this is going to cost me 'roughly 5 people in Thailand' and sure it's going to be a major financial drain, as we all know you really need to minimise 'Western cost' outgoings when on extended leave abroad. Many of you make the very valid point about financially supporting the child. I will not flinch from this and have already bunged her in the region of £2000 to make sure she can get everything she thinks she needs prior to the new arrival. We're going to try to reach a private agreement about how much maintenance she needs since we've learnt that the CSA retain around 40% of any money that passes through them, like I don't pay enough tax as it is.

Lastly, for now, this is not a flash in the pan idea - the moving to Thailand thing - I have travelled the world and seen many amazing places and things. I don't want to stay in the U.K any longer than I have to. For the past 6 years I have spent at least 4 months of the winter in the southern hemisphere and worked my ass off during the summer in Europe, I'm a freelance engineer/editor in the broadcast industry, to allow me to do this. It's been great but I'm almost leading a double life, neither here nor there and the vicious circle of earn for so many months then purely spend for so many months is starting to take its toll.

That's all for now. I'm going to enjoy a well earned beer after a long day at work. Doubtless I'll think of something else I shold have mentioned here but nevertheless I'm grateful to those of you who considered my predicament and took the time to think, then reply. It's a great help having a bunch of people who don't know me or her giving me another angle on things.

Cheers...!

O.K - This is not a troll for sure - I joined this forum a good 4 months ago.

Alvino, your reply is self fulfilling since it's not even a reply.

Falong, well enough said really.

What we're talikng about here is being shoved in to a situation here that I didn't ask for and will affect me for many, many years to come... If I see it through I can kiss goodbye to my travels and extended stays in Thailand to escape the british winter. I can assure you it's not a decision taken lightly since I am also from a broken home - hence the reason I haven't had / didn't want kids yet - because I'm not settled enough to be ready....

Gotta go to work now but Wamberal, thanks for your reply, any other considered views welcome too. Thanks.

Hi to all members of Thaivisa!

Every question I've had before has already been asked and answered on this forum, so this is my first post and a heavy one at that. Nevertheless, I'll try to keep it brief...

Setting: London.

This time last year I broke up from my girlfriend of 4 years, materially we had everything you could want from life and more but her biological clock was ticking and crunch time had arrived. For personal reasons, I'm not ready for kids yet so we split up.

Met another girl, had a fling, she knew I'm not up for the kids thing yet she stopped taking the pill, unbeknownst to me. After a few months it wasn't really working out and with a few months in Thailand ahead of me (Jan to Mar this year, part business/part pleasure) I told her we should just be friends.

One week into my trip to Thailand she phones me up with the bombshell that I'm going to be a dad. We talk about abortion but she insists on having the baby and tells me it's about time I faced up to my responsibilities....

So, the past few months have been really hard for the both of us. I have spent the past four winters in Thailand, only a few months at a time, but enough to get a feel for the place (and the lady(ies) ) and, probably like a lot of you, I love it, at least enough to want to re-locate there and live a better life - as in the climate, the people in general and simple things like a different way of life far removed from the way things are getting to be here in England. She cannot believe that I can even contemplate leaving her and the newborn behind in the U.K. I realise I might appear to be heartless and selfish beyond belief and, believe me, I've drawn plenty of fire from certain quarters for suggesting I may well not be here to bring the child up with its mother.... So, to all you people who have made tough decisions like this in the past, please tell me, do you think I'm out of order here because at the moment I can't see the wood for the trees!

I can sort most things out in life and if I make the move to Thailand I don't think money will be a big problem since I work in TV and a company in Singapore would put some work my way if I'm based in that region and I may be able to pick up a little freelance diving work too in Phuket.

The icing on the cake? I have a Thai girlfriend I trust and am crazy about!

All views welcomed khap...