geronimo

9 minutes ago, SAFETY FIRST said:

Dude, well done getting to 65.

I never said I inhaled ????

On 1/30/2022 at 10:05 PM, clivebaxter said:

Why come all the way here from the UK to 'end it all'? top yerself at home and save the airfare ????

well, coming here changed his mind eh? Just as well he did!

the 3 attributes I think an expat needs to live happily in LOS are .... (drum roll)

 

1. One must have an optimistic outlook on life.
2. One needs to be open to new things.
3. One should refrain from making judgements.

Been a while since I logged in, are all the regulars still alive?

On 2/5/2022 at 6:06 PM, Dolf123 said:

Yes, I do!

Please tell Sir. I am at present in at the seed germination process and have a few pilot trees that are 1 metre in height.

On 5/19/2021 at 9:47 AM, RobMuir said:

Pretty sure tvf member @geronimoknows her well.

Yes I do

Hi all, wondering if anyone is growing kratom?

Oh dear, sorry to hear that. I'll write him a poem ......

On 5/19/2021 at 9:47 AM, RobMuir said:

Pretty sure tvf member @geronimoknows her well.

He did

On 4/22/2021 at 8:22 PM, bwpage3 said:

I have had both the Moderna Covid vaccines from the VA Hospital in the USA.

 

It clearly states in the literature provided the effective date is 6 months only.

 

There is a talk of a required booster vaccine, but how long the booster will be effective is anyone's guess right now.

 

Another 6 months?

 

Then what?

 

This is not a simple get a vaccine and it is over scenario.

 

Yes from me because of the word 'possible'. Given the right circumstances it can happen.

I stopped drinking once ……….

 

I stopped drinking once,

In 1973

My principal reason,

Falling out of a tree

 

 

How I got up there

I’ve no idea

Seems a strange place

to be drinking a beer

 

 

My addled brain

tried hard to recall

how I ended up

dying from a fall

 

 

I remembered the bar

How could I forget?

Wearing no clothes

All for a bet

 

 

The rest of the day

Was a bit of a blur

Smiling faces

And a kiss from her

 

 

It started with a phone call

A meeting in the pub

Lots of beer

Rub a dub dub

 

 

We moved to the saloon bar

Of that I’m sure

I recognized

The parquet floor

 

 

Gin and tonic

And Pimm’s number one

Shaken not stirred

And I remember the fun

 

 

Seeing my mate

Glorious ted

Guzzling down beers

Standing on his head

 

 

I remember the road

The trees flying by

Flying trees?

I must be high

 

We went to a casino

That dealer’s face

When I showed her

A queen and an Ace

 

 

Chips in my pocket

For a wander I did go

Slots to play

Dice to throw

 

 

Free alcohol

Now that’s my kind of place

Is costs you nothing

To get off your face

 

 

It’s all coming back now

The memories are clear

Now I remember

How I ended up here

 

 

That bull was massive

He came at me

That’s how I got

Stuck up the tree

 

 

 

 

3 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

Geronimo is back,

with more of his verse

A nice little story

Not something perverse.

 

The verses are many

The story was told

But to verse 43?

I'm just too old.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You're a poet and don't know it!

2 minutes ago, CharlieH said:

"The run-in seemed endless"

 

And so did this ! ????

 

That's 7 minutes of your life you've lost forever. I sincerely hope there were a few chuckles to make it worthwhile!

I was always a heavy drinker until a few years ago, when I stumbled upon a beverage that ticks all the boxes ............

Here it is .......

 

A Day at the Races

 

Planned a day at the races,

What could go wrong?

A few hundred beers

And break into song

 

 

Saved up my cash

Coins and all

Just gotta hope

None of my donkeys fall

 

 

The first race is a cert

Odds-on favourite to win

Beat at the post

By a margin so thin

 

 

The bookie grinned

As he counted his money

I would have laughed

If I thought it was funny

 

 

The next one is a tip

A nod from the trainer

A tenner or twenty?

Of course, it’s a no brainer

 

Sixteen to one

I’ll take that bet

Go on my son

Break into a sweat

 

 

On the home straight

He’s coming from the back

Trouble is ……….

It’s a bloody long track

 

 

They come past together

It’s impossible to tell

Pipped at the post

“Oh <deleted>” I yell

 

 

Time for a change in strategy

A surefire way to win

Replace the beers

With a bottle of gin

 

 

Race number three

I look at the field

Searching for clues

For secrets to yield

 

 

Horse number four

Is strutting his stuff

One look at the others

Is more than enough

 

 

My money is on

A safe each-way bet

And they’re off

How good can it get?

 

 

Flying Aces

That was his name

How was I to know?

He’s no good at his game!

 

 

 

A look of bewilderment

Upon my face

As I take a look

At the next race

 

 

I saw the winner

Jumping out at me

First time out

How good can that be?

 

 

A rank outsider

Twenty five to one

Oh my

What have I done?

 

 

 

All of my money

Went on that nag

With no hesitation

I emptied the bag

 

 

They’re under starters orders

They open the stalls

Now we’ll see

Who’s got the balls

 

 

Off to a flyer

She’s pulling away

I smile as I contemplate

The rest of the day

 

 

I never believed

It could be so much fun

Thinking about

All the money you won!

 

 

A voice from within speaks

Now is the time it said

To stop playing

Quit while you’re ahead

 

 

Already looking

At race number five

And into my pockets

My two hands dive

 

 

 

A big pile of money

The most I’ve ever seen

Was duly wagered

On Flying Machine

 

 

She looked perky

The jockey alert

According to the form

This one’s a cert

 

 

They’re off at last

A mile and a quarter

I’m praying to the priest

And his daughter

 

 

 

The favourite is leading

As I gulp down my beer

With Flying Machine

Bringing up the rear

 

There’s a long way to go

I begin to doubt

They bunch on the corner

And the whip comes out

 

 

There’s a lump in my throat

My heart missed a beat

As the wily old jockey

Rose out of his seat

 

 

 

Moving in earnest

She gathered speed

It’s going to be close

My trousers I peed

 

 

 

They’ve gone past together

A photo is called

The result shows

“Get in there” I bawled

 

 

Swimming in money

I head for the bar

Who’d have thought

I’d make it this far!

 

 

 

Champagne for everyone

A real celebration

The hard work is done

Time for some recreation

 

 

It was at that moment

A thought entered my head

Stay on the wave of luck

Until it is dead

 

 

 

The next race I pondered

Certain of a win

I did it again

I went all in

 

 

The bookie looked nervous

As I wagered my bet

If this one wins

He’ll be full of regret

 

 

 

Money for Old Rope

That was his name

If he’s first past the post

Riches I do claim

 

 

 

I watched from the stands

Three miles of fences

They go out of sight

The atmosphere tenses

 

 

 

I’m fixed on the commentary

My heart full of hope

That the actual winner

Is Money for Old Rope

 

 

 

The crowd start cheering

As the horses appear

Come on Money

I heartily cheer

 

 

 

My horse is there

One of three

I close my eyes

I can’t bear to see

 

 

Approaching the final hurdle

The tension’s too much

As Money for Old Rope

Is ahead by a touch

 

 

 

The run-in seemed endless

I hope and I pray

This is going to be

My lucky day

 

 

 

And so it was

The perfect day

And on I go

Dreaming away

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have absolutely everything a man could possible want and have to repeatedly pinch myself on the cheek to make sure this wonderful life is not a dream!

I, like you, have not left my home since I can remember; take solace in the fact that the whole world is going down the toilet and watch from the sidelines ...........

all my poems ......

I have a question re certificate of residence,

 

can I submit a certificate from a province I don't live in when applying to renew a driving licence?

Colin's waiting for Santa to deliver those Pirelli P7s ........ plus that new spoiler that keeps the chair on the road ......

20 hours ago, geronimo said:

Well I guess I could have a go, watch this space ......

A strange thing happened the other day,

Stranger than strange, I could say.

Underwear missing, from the clothes line it appears

The local cops are full of sneers.

 

Dusting for prints, checking DNA,

Too late, the culprit is well on his way.

Names were mentioned, suspects grilled

No leads so far, no beans were spilled.

 

They checked CCTV, which could provide clues

As to who might have stolen the pantie hues

Cameras not working, barely flickers

They’re none the wiser to who stole the knickers.

 

DSI were called, they surely have a plan

A sniff here and there, but not one person can

Detect the thief, he’s got away in the night

So keep your panties locked up tight!

On 10/28/2020 at 9:47 AM, faraday said:

C'mon Geronimo, you must have a witty poem about this. ????

 

@geronimo

 

 

Note to mods, please delete the below tag, it's the wrong person.

 

 

Well I guess I could have a go, watch this space ......