californiabeachboy

Wow, I am gone for a day or so, and... 55 replies!! As the OP, I was not ready for this. What is the protocol here? - am I obligated to read all 55 replies!! Including the ones with typos?

I have gone through the first few, and some good comments. I do think it depends on where you are from. If I was from Norway, I would love Thailand to death, no matter the cost (nothing against people from Norway - lovely people). But I kind of like where I live, so I am not looking to escape, just add a bit of spice to my life.

Someone said don't make a decision on a few visits, and I think that is right. Visiting a place and living there are totally different.

Thanks for the replies. I will work my way through the rest and get back to you.

Cheers.

I am a retired American and I have been to Thailand three times in the last year or so because I am looking for a place to spend part of the year.

After reading so many of the posts about Thailand, it just seems that the focus is on money, specifically, how cheap it is.

I have crunched the numbers, and for me, I don't think it is that much cheaper. I like all kinds of foods, Thai, Mexican, Italian etc., and I have been to markets in Thailand, and the cost of a jar of pasta sauce is more in Thailand than it is here at home. I am spoiled weather-wise and hate the humidity so I would be running the A/C probably 20 hours a day. I would continue my health insurance here in case I had to get some major work done. The bottom line - maybe 10 to 20% cheaper, but not enough to make a difference in terms of quality of life.

My question is, if the costs were the same, would you prefer living in Thailand or your home country, strictly from a quality of life standpoint?

Thanks

I spend part of the year in Thailand, and may decide to get some dental work done there. I have read through the forums here on recommendations etc., but I wonder if any organization has done any study about the quality of the dental care in Thailand vs other countries.

I love to complain about the cost of dental work here in the US (having just come back from paying the dentist $1200 US for a crown), but the fact is that over many years of dental work here, I have never had a serious problem. The US dentists tend to "oversell" here, but at least in my case, they have done a good job

Does anyone know of any such studies by an objective organization? I did a google search but didn't come up with anything. Also, I assume dental malpractice insurance is not common there - is that correct?

Thanks

One of the reason's people live together is to reduce expenses and increase wealth.

If you found a Thai woman who was agreeable to this setup, would you pay her accommodations or she will have to

pay for her own place?

Let me get back to you on that one....

Yes, that is an issue to deal with. I would definitely pay a lot of her expenses, but to be honest, probably not 100%. But the answer would be the same if the woman was living with me. As a Westerner I feel uncomfortable paying 100% of a woman's expenses, as I would always be concerned she is with me for the money (but that is a WHOLE different thread)

I agree with the posters who said that age and family background would have a lot to do with it. Of the couples I know here in the West that do it, in most cases the woman in a bit older (say older than 40). By then, some of them have realized just how useless some men can be.

I think a lot of pressure would come from the Thai woman's family. I can see the stares (glares?) of the mother-in-law every time she comes to visit us and we are in a committed relationship but not living together.

Cheers.

Thanks for the responses. It gives me some hope.

Krupnik - yes, I am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. Whether girlfriend or married doesn't matter to me (I realize it may matter to her). Why not live next door to each other and avoid the little annoying live-together habits?

But have you ever watched a couple that has been married for many years go out to dinner? They have very little to say, and when the check comes they are gone. I believe that is because they spend too much time together. That scares me.

I am not sure where to post this question, but I settled on this sub-forum because I would like to hear some viewpoints from woman (along with men who have experienced this situation).

I have been to Thailand three times, and probably will spend a significant part of my "mature years" there (I am a retired American).

In the course of my three visits, I have met many wonderful Thai women. The problem is, I am a loner. I like living alone, not because I want to have many different girlfriends (that would get old real fast), but because I am an old dog, have my habits (I listen to music way too loud sometimes), and I have found that the best relationships I have had over the years were with women who also had their own lives. We would not spend 24 yours a day together, but maybe a few days a week - it kept the relationship exciting.

I know that Thai culture is much more of a "communal" culture. Many Thai's I have met think that someone who can live alone is crazy. I love to joke that I would marry a Thai woman if she could live right next door to me.

I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has experienced this communal (Thai) vs. independent (i.e. Western) conflict. Maybe I am dreaming, trying to mix oil and water.

Thanks

There are two potential problems with tap water in Thailand (or other places):

1. Microbes causing diarrhoea

2. Heavy metals from bad piping

In Thailand, 1. is rare and 2. common.

Diarrhea is a nuisance, but treatable and usually doesn't leave lasting damage.

Heavy metals don't cause immediate problems, but accumulate in the liver/kidneys and stay there for years, slowly killing those organs - and damage once caused cannot be reversed (means: If you notice it, it's too late!).

Diarrhea can be caused by drinking even a small amount once. Heavy metal damage is proportional to the amount you drink - i.e. drinking a little bit once or twice is no concern, but every day over months or years is.

Microbes are easily killed by boiling, purification tablets, UV irradiation, filters (containing silver ions) available in any home improvement store, etc., but these methods do nothing to heavy metals.

Heavy metals can only be removed by de-ionisation (distillation, reverse osmosis, or similar processes), which are not easily or cheaply implemented in a private home.

Since the amount of tap water you ingest from washed vegetables (or from things cooked in tap water and then drained) is rather small, I use tap for these purposes. But whenever I want to ingest the liquid (soup, tea, sauces, etc.), I use bottled water.

Of course none of the restaurants or roadside eateries do likewise, so if you're paranoid don't visit Thailand (or any other developing country)!

Good facts here. I have heard that the problem with the water in Thailand is not necessarily the origination, but the pipes which deliver it, which tend to be old and with assorted bacteria in them.

I think my philosophy on my next trip will be to go ahead and wash veggies in tap water, but if I am eating soup etc. at my apartment, I will be more careful.

This has been a good post, and I have some good ideas of my next book to read.

I have already posted above so I won't give another suggestion, but I will make an editorial comment.

So many books about Thailand (and other countries) are by people who are not really skilled writers. How many times have we gone to the library/bookstore, and looked at so many travel books written by people who are not writers. Some family spent 6 months sailing around the world, and then they decide to write a book about it - and then we , and then we... etc. Great trip, but not great writers.I have been to Thailand three times within the last year, and I like to think I have had some interesting experiences, but if I wrote a book about them, I would put you to sleep in 5 minutes. I am not a writer.

I would love to hear comments about "why" someone thinks the book is a good one. That helps the rest of us decide whether it works for us.

I said I would not recommend another book but I lied. I read "What the Buddha Never Taught" by Tim Ward. It was written by a journalist (I think Canadian) who spent some time in a wat. It was interesting in terms of the people he met, and gave a picture of the people who come to the wats for various reasons. I was interested in these people. It was both funny and informative.

Cheers.

Sadly, one of the ways to know you are getting older is that you look forward to a good haircut. I happen to be in love with the woman who cuts my hair.

I will wait for 30 minutes for her to cut my hair. To her, I am a customer, but to me.... when she caresses... ok, I will stop here.

I agree. Longer hair was cool in the 80's, but not now. Give me a quickie (that is buzz cut) and I am happy.

Before my first trip to Bangkok, I read "Bangkok Days" by Lawrence Osborne. It is one of the best books about Thailand I have read, as it captures the oddball characters (both Farang and Thai) that inhabit the city. For me, it made Bangkok come alive.

As I am reading this post I am thinking of two general principles of life that have worked for me in the past:

1. People do not change, and

2. When it comes to women (or men) you need to separate them from the herd.

Your mother in law will not change - if she is greedy now, she may calm down for a while, but eventually she will return to her prior habits. Every time there is a situation in the family that requires money, she will be looking squarely at you.

If your girlfriend continues to be under the extreme influence of the family, you will never develop a relationship that is a mix of Western and Thai values (since that is what your relationship is really about).

If you can separate her values from that of the mother-in-law, and you love her, forget about the mother-in-law.

The Kayak graph above shows the flight time on the China Eastern flight from Bkk to LA at 31 hours!! They should be giving that one away for free.

A comfort to hear someone else is having this problem (sorry about that!).

I bank with Ally Bank here in the US, and they said they would reimburse me for all ATM fees, including fess from overseas. So on my last trip to Thailand, I used the ATM from Kasikorn Bank, which charged me 150 baht.

When I came back to the US and received my statement, there was no reimbursement. So I called Ally, and they said that the entry on their books must specifically say that it was an ATM fee - if it doesn't say that, no reimbursement. Apparently, the K-Bank entry doesn't specifically say it is an ATM fee (although I don't know - I don't see that part of the international transfer). I complained, and they gave me a credit.

My theory is that it is a "gotcha" from the banks. They have figured out a way to market something, that doesn't really exist in the real world.

When I first joined the forums about a year ago, I had the same question. Now that I am an expert (having been reading these for a year, I think that qualifies me), I have three conclusions:

1. In a prior life I was a mediator, helping people to resolve their disputes. Very rarely would someone look at someone else in the eye and say "you are an idiot". But numerous studies have shown that when people are interacting with a computer, they will be much more adversarial and insulting. It is much easier to insult someone over a computer.

2. There is a small, but noisy, minority of people who cannot interact with people. I have a neighbor, who is a very negative person, and likes to go into rants. No one here will listen to him. What is his solution? Go to the forums. It gives him the feeling that he is being heard. When I see a response to a posting that is non-responsive, and belligerent, I assume it is a person who has way too much time on his hands and cannot find real friends/people to interact with.

3. Once the nasty people take over, the others abandon ship.

My general philosophy now is that I do not even read a posting that has had more than 20 replies. The nut-cases have taken over. Not always true, but a good general rule.

Stupid, stupid, stupid... and SO FUNNY!!! Isn't it fun to be a kid again!!!

Thank you for the suggestions - it is giving me a good picture of CM. The Frangipani looked good, but no pool. I am a surprised at the number of places in CM that do not have pools. I realize it is somewhat cooler there, but not THAT much cooler! Cheers.

Thanks for the answers. Makes me feel a bit more comfortable. I did notice that the posts talked about "my area" Would the answers be the same if we were talking about Bangkok? That is probably where I will be spending much of my time.

Cheers.

I just returned from my third trip to Thailand, and there will be many more (I hope). I have never gotten sick, and I have traveled a bit so I believe my immune system is pretty good.

The one thing I miss when I go to Thailand is fresh vegetables, such at tomatoes, greens, peas etc. because I was told to stay away from them. I want to do some more of my own cooking while there. so my questions are:

1. Should I wash those veggies in bottled water, or can I use tap water? It is such a pain to wash everything in bottled water. I am not looking for guarantees here, because we all get sick on ocassion, but looking for general advice.

2. If I put greens and maybe carrots in a stir fry, does it matter whether I washed them in tap or bottled water?

I will be staying in major cities, not rural areas. Any advice from those who love to eat veggies in Thailand would be appreciated.

Thanks

First, I must admit I am a bit stumped by this one. But after a couple of sleepless nights, I have made progress. I keep coming back to the dog collar solution, in which people put a collar on their dog that gives them a slight shock every time they bark. A bit cruel, but effective (mods - please please don't move this to the pets forum). Two obstacales to this:

1. How do you get her to wear it, and

2. How do you make one that only gives a shock when she says a word that starts wit the letter "J".

The first is easy - just present her with a necklace made of pearls, with David Beckam's photo on the locket (or maybe Brad Pitt).

The second is more of a problem - engineering a necklace that only gives a shock when certain words are spoken. But we have put a man on the moon, I think we can solve that one, given some time and of course, a lot of funding.

A lot of good ideas here. Thanks everybody. And thanks, chickenslegs, for the snappy answers.

But I have decided that I don't want to take any chances that some of the suggestions might not be 100% effective.

Therefore I am going to employ californiabeachboy's advice and buy a collar and dress it up as a lovely gift. It only needs to shock her when she yells at my house, and then only when I am at home, so I will make the sacrifice and manually control the shocks from behind my window shades.

Three or four experiences should do the trick. Hopefully she will not wear it in the shower before she stops by for the first of her daily barrages.

Maybe I should include a "matching" bracelet, just to be sure.

Upon further reflection, there may be a flaw. Now you will be hearing:

JOW!.. OWWW!.........??????......JOW!..OWW!.....??????.... Jow!..OWW! etc. until one of you gives up. Which one will it be?

First, I must admit I am a bit stumped by this one. But after a couple of sleepless nights, I have made progress. I keep coming back to the dog collar solution, in which people put a collar on their dog that gives them a slight shock every time they bark. A bit cruel, but effective (mods - please please don't move this to the pets forum). Two obstacales to this:

1. How do you get her to wear it, and

2. How do you make one that only gives a shock when she says a word that starts wit the letter "J".

The first is easy - just present her with a necklace made of pearls, with David Beckam's photo on the locket (or maybe Brad Pitt).

The second is more of a problem - engineering a necklace that only gives a shock when certain words are spoken. But we have put a man on the moon, I think we can solve that one, given some time and of course, a lot of funding.

Where are you from originally? The only reason I ask is that in the US, we have many different contraptions that are referred to as "ribs", all of which have completely different sauce bases.

Thanks

I second this. Not just the sauces, but the types of ribs. If you go to restaurants here in the US you will get a lot of "babyback ribs" which is nice marketing term for ribs that don't have any meat on them. How much meat is on the ribs??

Another one who is guilty of this - the tiny print on those top-up cards gives me a headache. Plus, I believe it saves the worker, for a few minutes, from having to say "sawasdee ka" to every slacker who walks in there pretending to look at the drinks but just wants air-conditioning for a few minutes (guilty again)

I also liked Blind Massage near the dophin roundabout in Pattaya. They call it blind "man's" massage, but you can have either a man or a woman do it, as you wish. Plus I understand the masseuse gets much more of the fee there.

I personally don't like the Thai massage, I prefer the oil massage. But my Thai friends say it is supposed to be a bit hard - you will feel better after the massage. The key is to ask for a mild or medium massage and they will ease up. I once forgot, and this sweet little woman bent her bony elbow and dug it into me - I believe she has just broken up with her boyfriend, because I know there was some anger there. But I did feel good after.

I am in a similar situation - I have spent holidays in Thailand, and I am retired so thinking about spending more time there.

The biggest obstacle for me is the weather - the unrelenting, all encompassing, heat and humidity. I have been there three times in the last year or so, each time for about one month. After one month, I am done. Every time I think about coming over there for 6 months or so, I wonder how I would deal with the heat and humidity. I tried going in November because people said it was cooler and drier then, and it was, from 35C to 32C and humidity from 90% to 85%. Since I believe you are from the UK, I think the extreme change is the climate is something that is ok during a holiday, even nice, but when you live there year-round?

I actually think Bangkok is a good "landing spot" to ease the transition. Rent a place for a few months, then explore. I am going to try Chiang Mai on my next visit, even though I am a water person, because I think it is the only city in Thailand where I could handle the weather for more than a few weeks.

Good luck!

Thanks for the info. Nimmanhaemin, or the area just to the North of it, looks good. I found one serviced apartment/hotel - Kantary Hills - that would do for a short visit while I look around. It looks like they want around 40,000 baht per month for a long stay, which seems a bit high for CM, but I am sure there are others in the area. A place where I could go for an early morning bike ride would be a real plus. Cheers.