daftboy

great grandma to look after the child and tell her to get a job.

Now she is telling me that her mum wants her to go to 'work' in Bangkok and leave my son with her, she says her mum has stopped helping with him and is not talking to her.

Just a few days a go she told me she might go to work and she would change her phone number and I would never see her or my son again.

Her mum thinks I won't keep my word and go back to her and wants her to 'work'.

She is insisting that I go now as she says its impossible for her to stay at home any longer. I asked her why would things be any easier after I had been, she just said she would work in a local market and not be with her mum at home all day.

To be honest I'm thinking of all the stress, worry and heartache she has caused me whilst we are so far apart (repeated requests for money etc... the time when I caught her lying she insisted she was in Khon Kaen caring for her mother in hospital) but actually she was in Bangkok, I asked her several times about this on the phone she lied everytime. I waited two months until I got back to Thailand and asked her to her face ......................she lied with a smile more than once. Even when I told her I knew she still didn't seem to think she had done anything wrong.

It breaks my heart though but what problems would she cause me here in farrangland if I bring her back?? But the alternative seems to be she disappears with my son.

pay for hospital??? IT'S FREE, man

50k for tiles? Golden floor now?

She's indeed a monster already. Be careful

This morning I called her and she is crying, says our child is very sick she will take him to hospital.

Later today I call her and she says she has no money left, she has spent 10,000 in one week. She needs more to pay hospital bills etc.. I sat but hospital is free, she just said she went to a clinic and she didn't have money to pay.

Explained that she spent 5,000 on a notebook for child number 1 (with Ex Thai bf).

Hmmm here we go again, there is something every month.

But she suggested Dr thinks our child may have been bitten by a mosquito and has to go back to hospital in couple of days. How do I know if its true or is it a ruse to get money? Not the first time she has said she needed extra money for medicine and hospital etc... Although I do know at least some of the occasions have been genuine.

I tried asking for receipts and said I would pay the hospital direct, she didn't want to know about this!

if your girl continues to be pressured by others around her to extract more and more , then no way think of bringing her to your home country, it will most likely end in disaster ,costing much more.girls with this type of thinking and attitudes probably need to stay in the bar, not sure they can ever change their ways, they are so easily influenced by others, and jealous of 'stories" from others.they dont even have to have come from a bar background, some still think like this when have farang bf. but first try setting them up somewhere away from the leaches, and see how that goes . having said that , i dont think 20k for 2 kids is totally taking the piss just yet, but brace yourself , it will get worse.

Exactly what I'm thinking now, she is easily influenced by others and I'm starting to think a lot about how much damage she could do to me here. But then once some of those Bad influences are removed perhaps she might OK.

It might be noted that the gal is quite happy to put the acid on you for money, even to support the other child. Is that father still around? If so, does she hit him

up for any child support? No mention is made of her extracting a few quid from that guy. Additionally, as far are the gal's mother goes, her siblings can kick the

tin for her as well, not just you.

No the other Father is Thai and doesn't give a single baht and never has done. He now has a new family with a different lady.

Her other siblings contribute very little or nothing to support their mother.

Well, just some general observations from living in a village for quite a while now - as you know, others will be in her ear regularly - so, it might not be a bad dispostion, as peer pressure, which weighs heavy here as she is probably being told she is stupid. I think with being out of town, it more resembles the relationships that bargirls have w/customers and that is the scope of the advice - which leans toward 'get as much as you can' - - I think these issues could disappear if/when you are living together. I hope for you - -

And ps - no Thai lady calculates or even considers what % of your income is being given - they see amount and measure it against what the neighbor is getting.

I think you have a hit the nail on the head! She had been telling me for a while many people she knows say she is stupid waiting for me. They have said her English is good and she should go to'work'.

She tells me her sister has told her she needs to think about what she has or does not have! Meaning she should get herself a new house, etc... Suggesting she should leave and find a richer farrang.

Yes I hope this 'get all you can' attitude disappears when she moves to farrangland with me.

20k is more than she would make in a job in Issan.

Is that a reason for not paying it? 20K sounds very reasonable if she's supporting a kid and no doubt some of her extended family.

Why should the OP be responsible for supporting the lazy extended family. Would you do it in your own country?

Then there's the gambling debts etc, this is looking like a train wreck.

Just last month when asking for more she said her mum had told her to give her 5,000 as he had just finished work in a bar.

I think also her sister is encouraging her, so she has told me and I think thats partly because if she has more cash then maybe there is less pressure on the sister to provide money(for mother). Plus also I think the sister sees her has a source of income too.

It appears the mother, her sisters and brother all expect her to be the one who supports the family.

To the OP, good luck, you are going to need it...

As I read the OP, what caused the red warning lights to go off for me was when the wife made the comment that 'bad girls' are making big money...

Yes and she is always quick to tell me she is not a party girl so she gets bored at home as she doesn't smoke, drink etc.... She says this usaully at the same time as trying to justify why she needs more.

You better get back to Thailand and sort this out.. It's not going to end well.

Many problems and the fact that she is comparing her situation to the other bad girls getting xxxx baht says a lot.

You are being taken advantage of like it or not. Either by her oor her family and she cannot say no.. Take your pick. Could be both.

Either move to thaialnd or get her out this will never work as it is now.

I have have a mate who went to the hometown of his wife and spending more in 1 weekend then 2-3 months in Bangkok. Crazy

I'm not surprised about your mate, I spent 1 month together in Isaan in her home village (apart from a few nights) I couldnt believe how much she managed to spend everyday just on food from markets etc... plus the occasional 4 - 5000 for mum.

I remember thinking I can live in Bangkok on less than half what she managed to spend in rural Isaan!!

It's hard to know who's the moving/instigating party here, the lady or her Mom...

But, I would say, there are lots of places in Isaan where farang guys are attached to former or current bar girls, and end up paying (stupidly in my opinion) big money per month (20, 30 or 50K or more) and/or paying for (in local terms) fancy new houses for the lady and extended family. The guys may be living here, but also instead, may be living abroad with future plans to move and for now earning farang salaries in their home country.

I say this because, I've run into personal experience situations in the past where there becomes a lot of pressure felt by the girl herself, or imposed on the girl by her Mom or family, to not lose face/keep up with other families/girls in their village/area who may have a generous farang sponsor. The girl herself may be greedy, but the family may also be piling on since the girl may also be the main source of support for the entire family group.

And, if other girls in the village have hit the farang jackpot, then there's kind of the expectation that your girl and her family ought to be able to do equally well with her farang. And it may be hard for you to figure out whether your girl is simply greedy, or, perhaps her Mom/parents/family are pressuring her, and many Thai women have a hard time saying NO to their Moms about almost anything.

That's not the kind of relationship/arrangement I'd ever want to put myself into, and I haven't, fortunately. I did have an ex-GF with whom I thought I was building a good relationship bail on me after we met her parents for the first time in their home city, and I refused to commit to building a new house for them (this after having known her but a few months, and certainly not married or even talking about it, at that point).

But, I didn't have any children to be responsible for as part of the equation, and that changes the dynamics a bit.

I'm happily married now, my wife works at a full time job, and she sends 10K a month to support her Mom and Dad, who are elderly and have a very simple life, out of her own salary. Our basic agreement is, I support her, and it's up to her how she wants to support her parents and anyone else in her immediate family.

I suspect her mum, her sister and maybe her brother and female 'friends' in the village and at least 1 friend (who's worked as a bar girl for years) are encouraging/instigating this.

It's only fairly recently she has got more demanding, she has been telling me for a while her sister wants her to find a new richer farrang or just go to work a bar.

She has told me about her mother in recent months going to weddings in the village where the farrang has built a house and given 500,000 + to the local girl.

Also she has a bar girl 'friend' from Bangkok who she tells me is getting 30,000 a month as a live in girlfriend.

This isn't a situation I want to be in, but can I take any risks when she has my child?

What do you earn a month?are you finding it hard running 2 homes, looks to me like she is slightly avin the kecks off ya, but she is lookin after your child so she's got you by the ham Kai's, gunner be a hard one without it ending in tears, there will allways be somthing that crops up to relieve you of your hard earned disposable income each month..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Exactly feel she's trying to get as much as possible, she wasn't always like this but last few months she's talking so much, a lot of these things I'm not sure I believe, but what can you do she's looking after my child, can hardly say no.

And actually when I have this month she gone ape****

you can arrange for someone to receive money for the kids food and school and medical and tell her youre through supporting her

Thats an interesting idea but I don't have a clue who could receive this (apart from the gf) who would you suggest?

What do you earn a month?are you finding it hard running 2 homes, looks to me like she is slightly avin the kecks off ya, but she is lookin after your child so she's got you by the ham Kai's, gunner be a hard one without it ending in tears, there will allways be somthing that crops up to relieve you of your hard earned disposable income each month..

Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Exactly feel she's trying to get as much as possible, she wasn't always like this but last few months she's talking so much, a lot of these things I'm not sure I believe, but what can you do she's looking after my child, can hardly say no.

And actually when I have this month she gone ape****

20000 baht in Issan! That's even too much for Bangkok buddy. Your supporting your girlfriend and child which is fair and right...but paying for child no 1 and the mother in law too!?. 10,000 is more than enough to live comfortably in Issan...Is your wife paying rent?.if shes not and she wants 20k she's taking you for a ride!

Not paying any rent, last month she said she needed 4,000 extra to pay for 2 tutors for number 1 child, this month says she has to pay for taking number 1 to hospital as he has had some behavioral problems. Last month she had to pay for our child for hospital treatment.

This month she says she has got through 9,000 in 1 week! I asked how she said 1,600 on hospital for number 1 and then has to give 3,000 towards a notebook for number 1 (says her sister will put 10,000 towards this).

I think the last few months she has got greedy, I should also add I was last in LOS in April when I gave her a one off 50,000 she was suppose to get the floor tiled in her mums house where she stays. Says this would be good for my son to stop insects etc.., coming in in rainy season.

Instead she spent it on her mothers 'farm' says this was a one off investment and her mum will put the land in her name.

Hi all,

So bit of background I have a Thai girlfriend and a child together (she also has a second child from a previous Thai relationship) she stays in Isaan now with her mum. We have a plan to move together back to farrangland. This is not someone I have just met online, I have known her for best part of 5 years and have a child together.

Right now I'm supporting them and I'm curious as to what other guys give to their girlfriend/wife especially in similar situations. I should add she has no other source of income other than me and she also has to support her mother. Recently she has got more demanding and says she needs more.

So how much do you guys provide? What percentage of your monthly income do you consider fair? Or as I suspect what amount does she consider enough?

Hi all,

Was thinking to find a course which can be studied online from a UK University (whilst living here in Thailand).

Curious if anyone else is doing sometthing similar? Would be interesting to know which University you study with,

what subject, is your course totally online or do you have to attend once in a while?

I've got a Bsc so would be looking for a postgraduate course I think, but maybe something that leads directly to

a job.

My main aim I think is to be able to use the qualification to obtain short contract work in the UK.

Ideally I'd like to be able to go back to the UK for maybe 5 months a year pick up some work and then back to

Thailand. Is anyone else doing this? What do you do back in farrang land?

Cheers

This turban guy has been hanging around lower sukhumvit for last couple of years at least. He came up to me once while I was sat in restaurant in Suk 7/1, told me I had a lucky face

gave me a 'gift' of wooden beads and then took a black and white photo from his wallet of a bunch of kids whi he said were orphans in his home village. He asked me how much I

could donate and suggested 1000 or 2000 baht.!

Came up to me a second time abou a year later in Soi 4 (nana), very perceptive guy - opening line was 'you are very lucky' you have a lot of women in your life!

Er well guess it is Nana Soi 4! Also saw him 1 time with 3 other Indian turban guys enjoying a Mcdonalds breakfast on Suk Soi 2.

This guy is a low life and very annoying, probably is a tailor too - think may be linked to Worraburi Hotel at end of Soi 4.

In order to amend my baby son's birth certificate I have been asked to provide DNA proof that I am the father.

Does anyone know if this service is available in Udon Thani? If so how much is it and how long to wait for the result?

I've been told that such a test would be 20,000 baht in Bangkok, can anyone help please ?

I want to get the test in Isaan rather than Bangkok if possible as baby is still very young to travel to Bangkok.

Hello,

I'm worried right now, I had an 'encounter' 1 week ago yesterday with someone and I think I had my drink spiked, in fact I am sure I did.

I have read some otherr threads and understand there are 2 types of testing, antibody and antigen. Antibody test is taken 3 months after possible exposure, whilst antigen can be taken from 25 days up tp 3 months.

I undertand the antigen test is very accurate during the 3 month window period, but that it is less common and more expensive anbd there is a small chance of a false positive but that any result should be checke again anyway.

I think the antigen test is known as PCR RNA test, so I would like some advice on where to get this test (in Bangkok), how much it will cost and how long do I have to wait for the result? Also any other advice please is very welcome. Please any other info you need to know just ask.

Thank you

Did i see a recent news flash about an angry Thai girlfriend

Hide the knives and be careful very careful

This is great reminds me of my first year here with my mates and all the juggling, lying and coniving we did around a bunch of girls.... we woz bad....

No worries OP..... ... it will all end well.. I still receive emails from ones i haven't seen/contacted in over 6 years !! <deleted>...

My advice... go get drunk its Friday ! but don't send any SMS at 3 am...to either girl! deadly... another great tip from ya uncle sanook

Well update is I called gogo girl told her we were through and there was no money. I then ignored her constant calls and texts. She emailed me saying she has to pay her friend the money back, and that she's only doind what I asked her too (lear massage). Says she loves me still and wants to know if I can still come to see her. Says she wants to stay with me because doesn't want to start over again. From what she's said before sounds like she usually tries to get hitched to punters.

Still ignoring the calls and tex?ts. In the email she says if I'm playing games with her just to say so as its her life I'm messing with! What have I got o say so she gets the message?

Noahvail

Thanks for your comments + ur right I should get noob of week.

I do have the money to give the gogo if I want to, its not going to leave me broke by any means.

I know what u mean about all the girls different stories yeah - BUT i've been to this girls room many times, met her sister.

We speak everyday, I've spoken to her friend (the one teaching her massage). The plan was originally that she would go to Wat Po but then once I'd gone home she mentioned her freinmd who runs c 3 massage shops and she seemed to be saying that this friend would personally train her at a spa massage learning place near Centralworld. I asked for the name and she said only for Thai people - didnt give me any name and I didnt ask anymore. She says she left BKK now and stays with her massage teaching friend, she says she used 10,000 of her own money to pay her friend but that she needs to pay her friend in full (so an extra 10-12,0000) then needs 5000 for her mum.

Although I could send her the money, wheres it all goin to end - ok I may get have a month with her and have a greta time but its goin 2 mena more money etc...... I told her I go UK so I got space but she texes me constantly and have spoken every day for last 3 weeks.

She told me she only work gogo for 2 months (before she worked in a restaurant - I've been there and seen photos of her as a waitress).

I realise what this all sounds like and I'm not toptally stupid - but I believe she wants to change jobs etc... She says her massage teaching friend will go to Phuket and she wants her to go with her - but she wont as lot of farrang there and she thinks I wont like this. Says she will get a certificate from her friend (from the school when course is paid for).

Hi all,

Think I need some advice or just some common sense as I'm in a tricky situation.

I have a long time Thai girlfriend she has a very respectable job and career I moved to Thailand with her, with the idea to maybe stay permanent if I could start a new career as a teacher. I've been lazy up to now (been Thailand 6 months).

A couple of months ago I met a gogo dancer and have been seeing her since. For 2 months I've been paying her salary 10,000 bht and she has stayed at home. She wanted to learn spa massage so her friend (who owns) 2/3 massage shops is traing her now. She says she needs 20,000 to pay her friend for the course.

Because I wanted to get some space I told her I'd gone home to UK, she thinks I am there now. I know this is wrong but I needed space and I couldnt get that any other way. I like this girl alot and we have made long term plans. She thinks I'm working at home and making money, but actually I'm not working and still in Thailand. I met this lady on my first trip to a gogo.

I would still like to see her again BUT if I'm truthful I don't think I can give her the future she would like. With my girlfriend perhaps I can build a future and I know its very easy to find other girls BUT I feel bad if I dont give her the money. But as I'm not working 20,000 is a lot to me. Also I plan to return to UK in March as my unpaid leave will end then, if I dont go back I will lose my job. Because I've been lazy here so far I've not tried to find the teaching work and am living off savings.

This sounds bad but if I give the girl 20,000 then I will want to spend some time with her(u know what I mean) but my problem is have limited time. If I see her for 1 month (January 2010) then I only have Feb 2010 to try to sort myself out with a job......... Plus also I don't like to lie to her as shes true to me, and I think if I don't give her the money then we split up (she will probably go back to gogo) but if i give her the money and spend Jan with her I have to lie to my girlfriend and at the end of the month split with the girl. BUT what if I decide that I want to stay with her after vspending 1 month together!

I know this sounds really bad and wimpy and I should find some balls and sort this out - I think. Anyone offer any advice / help what u think ?