Norv Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 Hi all, Ok here is my problem, oh sh1t and it does happen to someone I met a Thai Lady 47 years via Internet dating when to stay at here house in Khon Kaen three months then a 6 month visa to the UK all was fine she was great and good company. She returned to Thai land after the visa expired I when some month later. Applied for UK Fiancé visa stayed at her house till the visa came through returned to the UK when the visa was due to expire she wanted to marry I had picked up some odd things that were not quite right but at the time ignored them and we married. That was that the marriage has never been consummated she wont cook or do anything and starts drinking now at 1. Pm every day and sleeps in another room. She has now admitted that she lied to me about a lot of things that I could not go into here. Unfortunately after my Marriage my Mother took ill and later passed away so have really not had time to deal with this and also lack of funds after two trips to Thailand rebuilding here house there not to mention the marriage cost. I am now told she has given the house to here family before she married me. So we were married in April 2007 in UK some 5 months back and now the situation is totally intolerable with her now implying she wants some payout before she contemplates returning to Thailand. She wanted a visa to learn English and get a job to earn Big Money as she says. What is my best way out of this? See a Solicitor here in the UK and get creamed with the cards stacked against any man Or try to get he back to Thai land What is the situation with the visa, she is now looking for another falang to hook onto while she has the Limited Remain to stay for two years can I take the visa out of her passport when she is back in Thailand if that is what is to be done? Any advice on the best way to sort this out. There should be some law against the blatant con Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dan Sai Kid Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 you are her sponser right? Well, don't sponser her anymore. Someone can probably advise you on what you need to do - but a good place to start might be to call the home office and ask for some advice there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norv Posted September 12, 2007 Author Share Posted September 12, 2007 you are her sponser right?Well, don't sponser her anymore. Someone can probably advise you on what you need to do - but a good place to start might be to call the home office and ask for some advice there. Cheers for that yes I am her sponsor very true and I have considered that but I am in shock so am not thinking straight ok I could get the visa cancelled Cheers I will ring them in the morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crewcut Posted September 12, 2007 Share Posted September 12, 2007 The Dan Sai Kid is right. She will only get the ILR visa if she can prove that the two of you are still living together. Phone the HO tell them that you are separated. The HO will probably send out some sort of letter asking for the details in writing. Once this has been done and you are no longer sponsoring her like Dan said she will not be able to stay. The finer details and how this will pan out in reality though may not be a smooth as I have said. A Thai woman who loses face is difficult to deal with. It looks as though she should have waited to inform you of the con until after her ILR. Tell her that you will pay for her ticket and any other promises that you like. Get her out of your life. You may want to speak to a lawyer as well as the HO and start divorce proceedings. Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnknownPoster Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 She probably has a few more tricks up her sleeve. Watch out. In the USA, all she has to do is say you beat her and she gets a free pass to stay is my understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LivinLOS Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Come back to Thailand 'on vacation'.. Remove visa from passport / lose or destroy passport.. Inform embassy of breakdown of marriage and intention to divorce.. Return on your own to UK.. Sort it out from that position of strength. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 I am sure she has no right to stay if the two of you are not together - as others have said she is pretty stupid as she should have waited 2 years to get ILR Be careful she does not cite domestic violence though as this can allow her to stay and will probably cause you a whole load of headaches. Buy her the ticket home, make multiple promises about money if you have to but do not pay anything - get her on the plane and out. Contact the Home Office today and tell them the marriage has broken down and that youare no longer living as man and wife - she will probably get a letter to leave - tell her she has to go then and get her a ticket Good luck and take care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legag Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Yes, contact Home Office and make sure they know what they doing? No such giving you wrong info and more bull. Sad to come at this end (sigh) but what UnknownPoster said makes sense! 'Watch out what's beneath her sleeve!' One of the tricks that very powerful and will remind you to one of those roses are red days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr_hippo Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Didn't we read this story a few months ago? Many elements are familiar - 47yo, not consummated, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legag Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 (edited) Didn't we read this story a few months ago? Many elements are familiar - 47yo, not consummated, etc. Why don't they sound all the same? Same tune, melody, different title! The best selling (broken) record. Edited September 13, 2007 by legag Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAWP Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 It's another 'marry-after-speeddating-but-before-knowing-eachother'-post. I remember the British show with the love tirsty guy that proposed after 15min essentially...and who got taken for a ride later (she was already married!). So sad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
researcher Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 If the marriage has not been consummated then you can seek an annulment on those grounds. Speak to a lawyer in the UK if possible and good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnknownPoster Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 The Thais in your area have surley have coached her and knows how to manipulate the system. If possible, be nice, make up tell her you will buy a house for her in Thailand, raise a family...whatever. Once she is in Thailand, make her passport vanish and report to your Emabssy that she has threatened to kill you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussietraveller Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Come back to Thailand 'on vacation'.. Remove visa from passport / lose or destroy passport.. Inform embassy of breakdown of marriage and intention to divorce.. Return on your own to UK.. Sort it out from that position of strength. Agree 100%. Get yourself into a position of strenght first, and cover your A55. If she lied about many things and planned this whole thing out you need to wonder what else she has up her sleeve. Follow the advice of LivinLOS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somtaamgaiyang Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 The Thais in your area have surley have coached her and knows how to manipulate the system.If possible, be nice, make up tell her you will buy a house for her in Thailand, raise a family...whatever. Once she is in Thailand, make her passport vanish and report to your Emabssy that she has threatened to kill you. Know of a friend of a friend of a friend who has had exactly this happen to him but after the wife got indefinite leave of stay. Go to the home office. She has one a small victory, but she is silly to have not at least acted sweet until she got indefinite leave of stay. That is what happened to my distant buddy. Be careful in the S.E of England there is a con artist running around looking for a new husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 The Thais in your area have surley have coached her and knows how to manipulate the system.If possible, be nice, make up tell her you will buy a house for her in Thailand, raise a family...whatever. Once she is in Thailand, make her passport vanish and report to your Emabssy that she has threatened to kill you. The Thai's in the UK can be absolute shit's if she gets in with the wrong crowd as you allude to - my pal had a nightmare scenario when he brought his wife to edinburgh - she was young and impressionable! Making her passport dissapear would mean he would have to go to Thailand with her. I know some0ne who did that but its a long and funny story No need to tell Embassy the threat to kil - a bit melodramatic. Just tell them you are no longer together and they will not re-issue visa Better not to be in Thaland with her though - she might get you done for stealing the passport!!!!! Getting her out of the UK alone is the best bet and make any promises you need to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sriracha john Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Now that made me laugh out loud!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legag Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Oh Ting Tong and Little British! My LOL as well. Thanks. It helps my morning goes a bit easier now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norv Posted September 13, 2007 Author Share Posted September 13, 2007 The Thais in your area have surley have coached her and knows how to manipulate the system.If possible, be nice, make up tell her you will buy a house for her in Thailand, raise a family...whatever. Once she is in Thailand, make her passport vanish and report to your Emabssy that she has threatened to kill you. Know of a friend of a friend of a friend who has had exactly this happen to him but after the wife got indefinite leave of stay. Go to the home office. She has one a small victory, but she is silly to have not at least acted sweet until she got indefinite leave of stay. That is what happened to my distant buddy. Be careful in the S.E of England there is a con artist running around looking for a new husband. Thanks all for the help and support, I think this has gone on too long, I intend to take a vacation to all smiles Thailand and part where I found her at her newly renovated house, minus a visa. All being well as she is a crafty one. Yip she has a few friends hmm waiting for their husbands to pass on thats's all they talk about wills. Cheers again PS Who the hel_l would have believed it she was a great person for 6 months, but would not teach me Thai and was fiercely nationalistic? I hope that is a warning to some other unsuspecting, oh and pointed out all the other ladies cons for Gold from b/f and bought me 3 Baht about £400 Gold Necklace. She took that back after we married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
technocracy Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Thanks all for the help and support, I think this has gone on too long, I intend to take a vacation to all smiles Thailand and part where I found her at her newly renovated house, minus a visa. All being well as she is a crafty one.Yip she has a few friends hmm waiting for their husbands to pass on thats's all they talk about wills. Cheers again PS Who the hel_l would have believed it she was a great person for 6 months, but would not teach me Thai and was fiercely nationalistic? I hope that is a warning to some other unsuspecting, oh and pointed out all the other ladies cons for Gold from b/f and bought me 3 Baht about £400 Gold Necklace. She took that back after we married. Sounds like the wisest thing to do - get her out of the country first and you return alone - visa destruction in the passport would certainly delay her and if you inform the HO first then she wouldn't get it back. The only thing you'd need be careful about is when you leave - you basically need to abandon her without her knowing you have departed so book her a one-way ticket and you a flexible ticket at a convienient point change the date of the return flight and make good your escape! A very sad state of affairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big A Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 (edited) Treat her nicely and well. Offer to help her stay in UK. Sweet talk her and tell her you want to try again at the marriage. You love her, and let bygones be bygones. Don't arouse her suspicions. Meanwhile, see the Home Office, and a solicitor. When she hasn't a leg to stand on (ie no domestic violence lawsuits etc), move in for the kill and dump the b1tch. PS She's starting to drink at lunchtime? You can tell she's no good (far too late to start boozing!!!) Edited September 13, 2007 by Big A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 The Thais in your area have surley have coached her and knows how to manipulate the system.If possible, be nice, make up tell her you will buy a house for her in Thailand, raise a family...whatever. Once she is in Thailand, make her passport vanish and report to your Emabssy that she has threatened to kill you. Know of a friend of a friend of a friend who has had exactly this happen to him but after the wife got indefinite leave of stay. Go to the home office. She has one a small victory, but she is silly to have not at least acted sweet until she got indefinite leave of stay. That is what happened to my distant buddy. Be careful in the S.E of England there is a con artist running around looking for a new husband. Thanks all for the help and support, I think this has gone on too long, I intend to take a vacation to all smiles Thailand and part where I found her at her newly renovated house, minus a visa. All being well as she is a crafty one. Yip she has a few friends hmm waiting for their husbands to pass on thats's all they talk about wills. Cheers again PS Who the hel_l would have believed it she was a great person for 6 months, but would not teach me Thai and was fiercely nationalistic? I hope that is a warning to some other unsuspecting, oh and pointed out all the other ladies cons for Gold from b/f and bought me 3 Baht about £400 Gold Necklace. She took that back after we married. Do not go to her village and part there whatever you do. Yes take her back to Thailand for a holiday - yes tell her to head to village first alone - then go to Embassy and get them to cancel visa and fly back alone. If you have to see lawyer at home first and maybe even tell home office - I hate telling smoeone snidey things to do but you might awnt to hide the home office leter she will receive and just get her out of the country for that holiday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donna Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 she sounds like a nasty bitch. get rid of her, pick up the pieces and remember that all women arent the same! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torrenova Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Though you can do it in the UK, I second the suggestion that you get to Thailand with her ASAP. Tell her you'll stay in Bangkok for 2 days before going to her home because you have to do something / see friends / anything plausible. Leave her in the cheap hotel you've booked, with some money, say Bt4000 if the hotel bill is less than Bt1500 per day. Then go to the airport on a pre arranged flight taking her passport with you. She is then stuck, and you do all the necessities in the UK, beforehand if you can. Your statement will be that she decided not to accompany you back to the UK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sriracha john Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 (edited) Is it possible to stick to non-criminal and legal methods for trying to resolve this mess? It is, afterall, against the forum rules to advocate or suggest criminal and illegal methods, yes? Edited September 13, 2007 by sriracha john Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prakanong Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 (edited) Is it possible to stick to non-criminal and legal methods for trying to resolve this mess? It is, afterall, against the forum rules to advocate or suggest criminal and illegal methods, yes? I think informing the home office you are no longer a couple is legal so her visa becomes invalid. Taking her to thailand and not telling her you have done this is legal but a bit underhand Buggering off back to the UK without her is also sneaky bit legal Stealing her passport or destroying it is illegal and not something that needs to be done. Edited September 13, 2007 by Prakanong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cali4995 Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Don't ever forget she is always going to play by her "Thai Rules", essentially a guerilla fighter in a civilized conflict. If you don't adapt your tactics to her style of engagement, it will be a slaughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batami Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Not sure if you can do this but I offer the advice for you to take up if you can. Presumably you have assets in the UK - house, car, etc. If you have get rid of them into someone elses name - ideally a company or trust or another trusted memebr of your family (if you ahve anyone) . If none of the advice preciously offered works out - and cerainly, i too would advocate a "holiday" in Thailand - and you get have to get a divorce in the UK then you may be stuffed in terms of a fincial settlement. However, if you have no assets you can't settle anything - follow my reasoning. Worked for me some years ago and my (now ex-) wife went berserk when she found out that i owned absolutely nothing - everything was in a trust company. She didn't get a cent - except what she had conned out of me before I wised up. re trusts and company's you need some professional advice.. that's not too expensive (PM me for name address of guy I have used for years who knows the UK scene inside out if you cannot locate anyine yourself) Second, have you thought of Citizens Advice Bureau - normally good free, if basic, legal advice. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyCA Posted September 13, 2007 Share Posted September 13, 2007 Come back to Thailand 'on vacation'.. Remove visa from passport / lose or destroy passport.. Inform embassy of breakdown of marriage and intention to divorce.. Return on your own to UK.. Sort it out from that position of strength. Solid advice!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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