warfie Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 DIPLOMAT: Someone who tells you to go to h*ll in a way which makes you eager to start the journey. ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer. BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain. CONSULTANT: Someone who borrows your watch, tells you the time, and then charges you for it. ECONOMIST: An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. FRIEND: Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that "Je ne sais quoi" which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them.. PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience PROGRAMMER: Someone who fixes a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room. STATISTICIAN: Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an engineer. PRIEST: Someone addressed by everyone as "Father" except his children who call him "uncle". LOVE: Four-letter word, two vowels, two consonants, two idiots. DANCING: The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire. HEADACHE: Method of contraception most widely used by women. INTELLECTUAL: Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex. PITIFUL: Someone with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose. TONGUE: Sexual organ which some degenerates use for the purpose of speech. MONOGAMY: Repressed polygamy. NANOSECOND: Fraction of time which occurs between the lights turning green and the car behind honking its horn. NYMPHOMANIAC: Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does. TEAMWORK: The possibility of putting the blame on others. EASY: Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man. FOOTBALL: That which all women marry without knowing. HARDWARE: The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions. IMPATIENCE: Waiting in a hurry. INDIFFERENCE: Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as "playing hard to get". INFLATION: Having to pay next years prices on last year's salary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now