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Can I Just Take My Son From Thailand As The Mother Cannot Take Care Of Him ?


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So what do you suggest he does if the police come knocking on his door because the child's mother has reported to the Thai police that he has abducted her son?

How can that really happen?

A village police station issuing a warrant for somebody somewhere in Scotland?

It will take several things before (if ever) he hears from her again.

Firstly, he should be a fat cat that a Thai lawyer can see as a reasonable easy skinning target. A lawyer would recognize in an instant what had happened and what the mother is like, he won't act without a good chance of being well paid or has to have some personal vendeta against the OP.

Even if there is a lawyer involved, he may soon lose his enthusiasm after being unable to muster the mother at specified times for hearings. If she turns up, she may not be coherent enough to convince whoever is in charge that her son's place is with her.

Let's face it - a woman that fits OP's description is easy to imagine. Her horizon is set as far as her next meal. Had she known anything, she would not have risked her son's future or even get the OP into the situation to contemplate whizzing the boy away from her.

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So what do you suggest he does if the police come knocking on his door because the child's mother has reported to the Thai police that he has abducted her son?

How can that really happen?

A village police station issuing a warrant for somebody somewhere in Scotland?

It will take several things before (if ever) he hears from her again.

Firstly, he should be a fat cat that a Thai lawyer can see as a reasonable easy skinning target. A lawyer would recognize in an instant what had happened and what the mother is like, he won't act without a good chance of being well paid or has to have some personal vendeta against the OP.

Even if there is a lawyer involved, he may soon lose his enthusiasm after being unable to muster the mother at specified times for hearings. If she turns up, she may not be coherent enough to convince whoever is in charge that her son's place is with her.

Let's face it - a woman that fits OP's description is easy to imagine. Her horizon is set as far as her next meal. Had she known anything, she would not have risked her son's future or even get the OP into the situation to contemplate whizzing the boy away from her.

I agree. If the OP can get the lad out of the country and back to the UK I don't see the mother pursuing the matter any further, even if she wants to. The legal expense and length of time needed would probably deter her and pan-world custody cases like this take bloody ages. She probably doesn't even know where the OP actually lives and if he can clear the house of any hint of where he's from/going to, she's going to be stuck at the first hurdle.

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I doubt if OP has costudy and he will be kidnapping the child.

How about someone travelling with his own child when mother is not present? Do all people like that have to carry a Sole Custody document?Or is it needed only when there is a secret thought about not returning?

Let's imagine this:

I travel with my child to Singapore, mother stays in BKK. I intend to stay 3 days and return. Then, I ring up at night and she is dead drunk, can not talk. I checked the bank account, there is money missing for no reason.

Then, I decide to call it quit and not to return to BKK but to go to Tokyo where I live and keep my daughter with me and look after her.

Would I need to organize that Sole Custody document before leaving Singapore for Tokyo? Would I <deleted>.

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I doubt if OP has costudy and he will be kidnapping the child.

How about someone travelling with his own child when mother is not present? Do all people like that have to carry a Sole Custody document?Or is it needed only when there is a secret thought about not returning?

Let's imagine this:

I travel with my child to Singapore, mother stays in BKK. I intend to stay 3 days and return. Then, I ring up at night and she is dead drunk, can not talk. I checked the bank account, there is money missing for no reason.

Then, I decide to call it quit and not to return to BKK but to go to Tokyo where I live and keep my daughter with me and look after her.

Would I need to organize that Sole Custody document before leaving Singapore for Tokyo? Would I <deleted>.

You are talking about something different. Taking the child out of the country is possible, I question the legality of it. OP probably doesn't have costudy and might not even be the father in a legal sense. That is a differet scenario then you describe.

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So what do you suggest he does if the police come knocking on his door because the child's mother has reported to the Thai police that he has abducted her son?

Child abduction by an absent parent and taking said chils across international borders is treated very seriously by the British authorities.

OK, presuming that the mother manages to get this guy's kid listed as missing. Presuming that they find out that they have left Thailand. Presuming that they are able to find out that they flew to destination A from Thailand (easy) and then flew the destination B from destination A (not sure how easy) then the mother could potentially find out that the father is back in the UK with his son.

At that point, she does what ? Let's say that she manages to inform the UK authorities. Presuming that they believe her and go around to his house. Then what ? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Why ? because he is the father of the child, the child has a UK passport and that is the end of the story. He has done nothing wrong. He has broke no laws or court orders or agreements at all either in Thailand or the UK.

He tells Mr Plod or whoever that the relationship with the mother has broken down and fearing for his child if he and his child remained in Thailand, they have both come to the UK where they are both UK citizens. End of story.

I know Mario's points from other discussions and I believe they are generally valid but once in the UK, all that Thai mumbo jumbo mickey mouse law and rules go out of the window. Enter proper UK rules and he is the father. hel_l, I reckon he could even go to court to be awarded sole custody in the UK. Now would Thailand respect a UK court order regarding sole custody - no way. So he could never go back to Thailand but he would have done nothing wrong and actually, it is she who is in the wrong. though I accept that a legal case in her favour could be mustered in Thailand.

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If I was in the OP's situation I would get my kid and go straight to the airport and fly direct to the UK.

Providing that the mother has not reported that he has been kidnapped then there should be no red mark against his name on the immergration computer.

I would also take his birth certificate (making sure that you are listed correctly as the father although I guess you done that already).

Legally I doubt you have done anything wrong so far, you just did not tell the mother, which no one can prove as it is your word against hers. Of course once in the UK she may kick up a fuss and try and get the child returned to Thailand but then the Thais have to apply to the UK and you will be able to fight things from the UK which will be easier for you I guess.

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If I was in the OP's situation I would get my kid and go straight to the airport and fly direct to the UK.

Providing that the mother has not reported that he has been kidnapped then there should be no red mark against his name on the immergration computer.

I would also take his birth certificate (making sure that you are listed correctly as the father although I guess you done that already).

Legally I doubt you have done anything wrong so far, you just did not tell the mother, which no one can prove as it is your word against hers. Of course once in the UK she may kick up a fuss and try and get the child returned to Thailand but then the Thais have to apply to the UK and you will be able to fight things from the UK which will be easier for you I guess.

Thinking a little bit more about this what Mario says above about being the father legally is correct. If you are the legal father then I would get him out to the UK as fast as possible, if you are not then it is a bit more serious.

If you are not married to the mother then you need to make sure you are the legal father in Thailand, but seeing as he has a UK passport already then I guess he must also have a UK birth cert, as he was bone before 1.7.2006 I assume that you have to apply the old long winded way which I am unfamilar with but I would guess you had to be legally recongised as the father in Thailand? If you just need the Thai birth cert. then you should check that you are the legal father.

But still try and get him on a plane and out as quick as possible is my advice.

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So what do you suggest he does if the police come knocking on his door because the child's mother has reported to the Thai police that he has abducted her son?

Child abduction by an absent parent and taking said chils across international borders is treated very seriously by the British authorities.

Agreed. Go and see a lawyer in Thailand and the UK and find out the possible consequences of any "kidnap".

Good luck and all the best for you and your son :o:D

RAZZ

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OP probably doesn't have costudy and might not even be the father in a legal sense.

From the OP: "We were never married. Both our names are on the birth certificate. Our son has Thai and UK passports which I have"

This is not my field of expertise but since the OP's name is on the Thai birth certificate and probably on the British birth certificate (his son has a British passport. I guess you can't get one with a proper birth certificate stating the British citizenship), he's probably the legal father. If I'm wrong, feel free to flame me. :o

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OP probably doesn't have costudy and might not even be the father in a legal sense.

From the OP: "We were never married. Both our names are on the birth certificate. Our son has Thai and UK passports which I have"

This is not my field of expertise but since the OP's name is on the Thai birth certificate and probably on the British birth certificate (his son has a British passport. I guess you can't get one with a proper birth certificate stating the British citizenship), he's probably the legal father. If I'm wrong, feel free to flame me. :o

Being on the birth certificate is helpfull, but not enough to be the legal father. I have explained that subject here:

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/Gain-Parenta...-M-t235443.html

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"....Can I ask what is there to stop me just getting on a plane and taking him to my house in Scotland ? Obviously there are no visa issues in the UK but what about exiting through immigration in Thailand ? Would a land border be any different to the airport ?....."

Nothing - absolutely nothing - I done it time after time after time after .... with both kids for many years - and mom done it as well on many an occassion (i.e. single parent travel) - it made absolutely no differance if it was me or her - just so long as all docs are in order (meaning: passport and no issue about you been dad) - nothing odd about it, loads of kids travel with single parents in & out of Thailand every day.

Go now - if a custody battle starts, not withstanding any history of poverty/bar work on mom's part, history shows that Thai courts seldom care much for it i.e. chances are overwhelming mom will still get custody of junior.

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If I was in the OP's situation I would get my kid and go straight to the airport and fly direct to the UK.

Providing that the mother has not reported that he has been kidnapped then there should be no red mark against his name on the immergration computer.

I would also take his birth certificate (making sure that you are listed correctly as the father although I guess you done that already).

Legally I doubt you have done anything wrong so far, you just did not tell the mother, which no one can prove as it is your word against hers. Of course once in the UK she may kick up a fuss and try and get the child returned to Thailand but then the Thais have to apply to the UK and you will be able to fight things from the UK which will be easier for you I guess.

Thinking a little bit more about this what Mario says above about being the father legally is correct. If you are the legal father then I would get him out to the UK as fast as possible, if you are not then it is a bit more serious.

If you are not married to the mother then you need to make sure you are the legal father in Thailand, but seeing as he has a UK passport already then I guess he must also have a UK birth cert, as he was bone before 1.7.2006 I assume that you have to apply the old long winded way which I am unfamilar with but I would guess you had to be legally recongised as the father in Thailand? If you just need the Thai birth cert. then you should check that you are the legal father.

But still try and get him on a plane and out as quick as possible is my advice.

OP probably doesn't have costudy and might not even be the father in a legal sense.

From the OP: "We were never married. Both our names are on the birth certificate. Our son has Thai and UK passports which I have"

This is not my field of expertise but since the OP's name is on the Thai birth certificate and probably on the British birth certificate (his son has a British passport. I guess you can't get one with a proper birth certificate stating the British citizenship), he's probably the legal father. If I'm wrong, feel free to flame me. :o

The OPs son may have a UK passport, but it doesn't mean he definitely has a UK birth certificate. As long as you have a translation of a Thai birth certificate with your name as the father on it, the correct fee, a completed form and your own long version UK birth certificate, you can get a UK passport for your child without having to get a birth certificate. Many people only get the passport as the birth certificate costs about 8000 baht and the passport only a couple thousand. I would think that in a situation like this a UK birth certificate with his name as father would be a plus.

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Some posters are missing the point about child abduction/kidnap by an absent parent. All the mother has to do is report to the Thai police that her son has been abducted by his British father. International co-operation on child abduction and welfare then takes over. She has no need for lawyers, competent or otherwise.

Whether she would do so or not and if she did what would happen next we don't know, but the worst case scenario is that the boy is returned to his mother while the OP spends time as a guest of Her Majesty.

Whether he wants to take this risk without first taking legal advice is his choice.

I agree, if he could get sole custody then the matter is resolved. Maybe a sufficient financial inducement to the mother would persuade her to sign the necessary papers?

BTW, using examples where a father has taken his children abroad with the mother's knowledge and consent to persuade the OP he wont have any problems is ridiculous. Of course there would not be a problem if the father has the mother's consent!

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Thanks for the comments. I expected some negatives but let it ride.

I think most so far have grasped the situation. Thank you for taking the time to read it and for replying.

If I thought it best for my son to remain in Thailand within a stable enlarged family group then I would put his interests first (as I always do) and just visit as often as possible. Unfortunately, that is not possible. The extended family are poor and whilst there is nothing wrong with that at all, they are also lazy, lack the knowledge to observe basic hygiene etc.

Any money they receive sees them waste it immediately. No new clothes are bought, no repairs made to the houses, no advancement of any kind. It all goes on nothing I can see except partying, paying back money borrowed (only to be borrowed again) and used to get themselves into more debt. Work or business is the last thing on their mind. Kids run around without nappies, fouling whenever and wherever. Shoes are hardly worn yet the dirt paths are riddled with broken glass, cigarette buts and all kinds of things. No children have been to a dentist or have a full set of inoculations. It is no place I bet any one of you would leave their child, even for one night. Yet that is where my son would most likey be dumped.

Please make any suggestions. I will not be offended, I am grateful for the comments.

I am not sure about the UK but when I got my son's Aussie passport both parents had to sign a declaration on the application giving each party permission to take the child abroad. I do not think you would have to many problems if you used his UK passport to leave the country and as he is a UK citizen I do not think you would have to many problems gaining full custody there. Niether her or her family would go to Scotland to fight the case.

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Some posters are missing the point about child abduction/kidnap by an absent parent. All the mother has to do is report to the Thai police that her son has been abducted by his British father. International co-operation on child abduction and welfare then takes over. She has no need for lawyers, competent or otherwise.

Whether she would do so or not and if she did what would happen next we don't know, but the worst case scenario is that the boy is returned to his mother while the OP spends time as a guest of Her Majesty.

Whether he wants to take this risk without first taking legal advice is his choice.

I agree, if he could get sole custody then the matter is resolved. Maybe a sufficient financial inducement to the mother would persuade her to sign the necessary papers?

BTW, using examples where a father has taken his children abroad with the mother's knowledge and consent to persuade the OP he wont have any problems is ridiculous. Of course there would not be a problem if the father has the mother's consent!

Thailand has not signed up to the 1980 Hague Convention which deals with international child abduction by parents(Member country list). The person trying to find the missing child has to report the loss to the centre in their own country, which must have signed up to the convention, it would mean that his ex wouldn't be able to take this avenue.

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Some posters are missing the point about child abduction/kidnap by an absent parent. All the mother has to do is report to the Thai police that her son has been abducted by his British father. International co-operation on child abduction and welfare then takes over. She has no need for lawyers, competent or otherwise.

So, a seemingly competent statement is blown away by the enclosed list of countries who have signed the Hague Convention and Thailand is not among them.

Further, even if recognized, nobody is inprisoned just like that while the child is flown back:

The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction is an international treaty and legal mechanism to recover children abducted to another country by one parent or family member. The Hague does not provide relief in many cases. A private industry emerged to address this gap. Covert recovery was first made public when Don Feeney, a former Delta Commando, responded to a desperate mother's plea to locate, and recover her daughter from Jordan in the 1980s. Feeney successfully located and returned the child. A movie and book about Feeney's exploits lead to other desperate parents seeking him out for recovery services.[3]

By 2007, Both the United States, European authorities, and NGO's had begun serious interest in the use of mediation as a means by which some international child abduction cases may be resolved. The primary focus was on Hague Cases. Development of mediation in Hague cases, suitable for such an approach, had been tested and reported by REUNITE [2], a London Based NGO which provides support in international child abduction cases, as successful. Their reported success lead to the first international training for cross-border mediation in 2008, sponsored by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children [3]. Held at the University of Miami School of Law, Lawyers, Judges, and certified mediators interested in international child abduction cases, attended.

Edited by think_too_mut
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One think I would ask the OP to consider is that if he opens the Pandora's Box of entering into negotiations with the mother of his child, it will put her and her family on high alert. He raised the question of the mother just disappearing with the kid I think or some other threat and I fear that might be what happens. As long as the gravy train keeps rolling, what incentive is there, apart from a lump sum, to settle the matter ?

If the mother's family have the capacity, mental as well as financial, to instruct a lawyer, then the process will be ground out as slow as possible I fear because the family is in a win win situation. They know the crock of gold awaits and yet the goose is still laying golden eggs every month. I fear little incentive to resolve matters quickly.

Then there is the question of whether the mother actually wants to relinquish the baby. I don't think the OP has ever stated that. She perhaps thinks she is doing little wrong and because the baby is ok (down to the father I suspect), then she may feel it is he who is being aggressive, wanting the kid and become hostile if he raises the subject of his sole custody or does anything to make her think she may lose the baby. If this is the case, I certainly could not advise doing anything to raise her suspicions and that leaves, unfortunately, only the option of him taking his son with him out of Thailand.

Now were the mother to raise the issue of a financial settlement than the scenario is very different. Even then, there is bound to be disagreement and that brings the OP back into a position where the mother knows he wants the baby and she will be more protective.

Eventually, in the short term, I think there is only one solution.

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Centurion,

You have been given lot's of conflicting advice.

A minority of posters seem to think that the Thai authorities are too stupid/lazy/incompetent to liaise with the British authorities in order to pursue you and take action.

A more sensible majority think that the Thai authorities would be unable to do so as Thailand is not signed up to the relevant international conventions.

Another minority, myself included, believe that there is a risk of this happening with serious consequences for yourself and your child's future.

I still firmly believe this and therefore that you should seek legal advice before taking any drastic action.

I don't know if one is allowed to post links to other forums, but Thailand-UK have some members who are highly qualified lawyers and expert in international law. Maybe a post on there will help you decide how to proceed?

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GENERAL INFORMATION: Parental Kidnapping is not a crime in Thailand and Thai authorities will not issue a warrant or become involved should one parent take a child without the other parent's authorization.

http://travel.state.gov/family/abduction/c...ountry_528.html

That is a nice quote, but can you tell me if that only applies to parents who have costudy over the child or also to a parent who doesn't have custody?

The Thai law states the following:

Section 1567.

A person exercising parental power has the right:

(1) to determine the child's place of residence

(2) to punish the child in a reasonable manner for disciplinary purposes;

(3) to require the child to do such work as may be reasonable to his ability and condition in life,

(4) to demand the return of the child from any person who unlawfully detains him.

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GENERAL INFORMATION: Parental Kidnapping is not a crime in Thailand and Thai authorities will not issue a warrant or become involved should one parent take a child without the other parent's authorization.

http://travel.state.gov/family/abduction/c...ountry_528.html

That is a nice quote, but can you tell me if that only applies to parents who have costudy over the child or also to a parent who doesn't have custody?

Regardless of custody, the Thai authorities will not become involved.

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GENERAL INFORMATION: Parental Kidnapping is not a crime in Thailand and Thai authorities will not issue a warrant or become involved should one parent take a child without the other parent's authorization.

http://travel.state.gov/family/abduction/c...ountry_528.html

That is a nice quote, but can you tell me if that only applies to parents who have costudy over the child or also to a parent who doesn't have custody?

Regardless of custody, the Thai authorities will not become involved.

In what case, dual costudy or sole costudy? Not acting would probably be dereliction of duty, also the country were one would be staying might agree that it is kidnaping if the parent that takes the child away doesn't have costudy.

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Mate, I'd say go for it, Good luck

I've not read the entire thread but I very much doubt that any questions would be asked at Survanabhum. If that is your main concern, then arrange a flight towards the immigration shift change (sorry don't know the times of them but I could find out).

The boy's yours and you're responsible for him anyway, so you have no choice, all you can do is get on the next plane out of here.

Don't give his "mother" anything, no need. She will not be able to do anything about it once you're out of the country and she's had more than enough off you as it is.

You could try flying to one of the neighbouring countries, then get a flight home from there. He has a British passport so you have no worries landing at the UK.

Good luck, when you get him home to Bonny Scotland it would be good if you post on here to let everyone know.

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Centurion,

You have been given lot's of conflicting advice.

A minority of posters seem to think that the Thai authorities are too stupid/lazy/incompetent to liaise with the British authorities in order to pursue you and take action.

A more sensible majority think that the Thai authorities would be unable to do so as Thailand is not signed up to the relevant international conventions.

Another minority, myself included, believe that there is a risk of this happening with serious consequences for yourself and your child's future.

I still firmly believe this and therefore that you should seek legal advice before taking any drastic action.

I don't know if one is allowed to post links to other forums, but ********have some members who are highly qualified lawyers and expert in international law. Maybe a post on there will help you decide how to proceed?

Just read the above and I cannot see any risk.

Travel light, couple of pieces of luggage, hand carried toys at the immigration desk.

In the very unlikely event of his mother or the Thai authoritie$ pursuing this case back to the UK you just get legal aid and fight the case from there.

Morally you are obligated to get your son, her meal ticket out of her clutches.

Legally....who gives a <deleted>, let the legal aid lawyer in Scotland worry about that one.

Best of luck.

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If I were you, I would take my son, his two passports and run to the nearest international airport.

I agree. If it was my son (now 10 months old) living in those conditions, I would get him out of there quick. As you are the father and the responsibly parent, surely you have a right to do what's best for your son. He's as much yours as he is hers. Tell her your taking him on a holiday.

A court battle with him in Thailand or in Scotland is all the same, better in Scotland and living with you i think. Nobody will accept bribes in Scotland and you will get a fair trial if it even comes to that.

Why not get a Thai private detective to collect some evidence of her partying etc. and start documenting her actions and movements just in case. Could end up as your secret weapon in a court of law!

Good luck.

Edited by dman961
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Well from my un-educated legal perspective....

Both parents have to sign the form to allow a Passport Application to be entered, so in Signing that form the mother has granted permission for any overseas travel, with that the baby has both Thai and UK Citizenship and is free to live in both countries for as long as he/she wishes.

To get a childs visa in Australia both parents are required to sign the form/declaration that permission is approved for the child to venture to Australia. But with citzenship no visa is required.

So the baby is free to move between countries and it only seems to leave the stated residence of the child. If the residency can be listed as in UK by Centurian alone then I would be organising a farang to keep the mother busy for 3 days to allow the time to receive the UK immigration arrival stamp in my passport and going for it!

Best of Luck Centurian, Hope you get him out stress free!

Edited by jackliveswhere
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All this Passport business a bit confusing. I was told by Thai Embassy in DC my Thai/American daughter should get a Thai Visa to go to Thailand this summer. This was when we were renewing her Thai Passport. She also has US Passport.

As for the Poster no one has mentioned anything but a friend of mine in a very similiar situation essentially bought his kid from the mother. If she is as greedy and bad as he says I am sure for some amount of Baht she would sign over legal custody rights. Like a wise Thai friend once told me everything in Thailand is for sale.

LL

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sorry for being away for a while but an update.

Had a couple of largely pointless meetings with legal counsel. Whilst there can be no support for an illegal action, my non Thai lawyer makes a compelling argument that I would be doing nothing whatsoever illegal or indeed, wrong. Informing the mother is merely a courtesy as there is no legal obligation to do so. Neither does she have the legal necessity to inform me.

The question about whether the mother is the legal guardian under some Thai legal provision does not hinder the father from taking the baby across the Thai border. Of course, if the border people were notified prior to that occurrence , then they could but not necessarily would be obligated to refuse exit to the child until the matter was settled formally. I raised the point made here by Mario (thank you) and my advice is that whilst it may be a significant factor in disputes over custody or similar, it is not a carte blanche barrier protecting the mother at the expense of the father. Furthermore, Thailand has to respect that the baby is a UK citizen and under UK law, those "rights" of the mother do not exist. With the evidence to date, it would be expected that any custody hearing in the UK would award interim sole custody to me. I was further advised that we could seek assistance from the UK embassy and exit on the UK passport. Not an avenue I wish to explore but some minimal back up I suppose.

Someone above raised the point on signatures. I recall that only I had to sign for the UK passport but that we both had to sign (as well as the baby making a fingerprint) to obtain the Thai passport. Any provisions were in Thai and as such are beyond my comprehension. I feel however, that there is not a single Thai man in the country who could not take his Thai son out of Thailand without any recourse to the Thai mother. However, I know I am not Thai !

Thanks again for all the support. It is much appreciated.

I will come back and update as and when there are any developments.

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  • 5 months later...

Has there been any developments on this yet what happened. In v similar situation and want to know what would happen if i took my son to UK

If I read the OP right, all he is worried about is whether immigration would stop him at the airport. Then he is concerned about what might happen if he went back to the UK via a non direct route; would Singapore for instance do anything ?

Any worries after he gets his child to the UK are meaningless. He will be in the UK as he recognised father of a child with a UK passport. I doubt the child's mother would ever get a visa if he set his mind to it. Her specific comments about her returning to the oldest profession should be enough to have any visa request denied.

I suspect useless Thai lawyers and no need for any UK lawyers once in the UK is all the legal knowledge he needs. What he does need is to get past immigration with his baby and into the air on the plane. After that, goodbye Thailand, likely forever.

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