Farang Wai-ing Farang, Why?

[george]

Farang wai-ing farang, Why?

(from a thread at the ajarn.com forum)

Was in an expat bar last night gently supping my pre bedtime Ovaltine when I saw the most bizarre thing.

Two farang guys came to join a bunch of 3 farang guys and they Waied each other!! <deleted> ? Why ?? There were no thais in either group. They didnt seem to be taking the piss so they seemingly were doing it for real. Why?

Were they doing it just to show they could, that they were now at one with thai culture, an in joke.......?? They were all in the 40-50ish age group.

Anyone else had a farang wai them or anyone wai another farang with no thais present in the group?? Please tell me, I would love to know why.

[p1p]

S'called "going native"....

[Thaiquila]

It would almost be expected for Thais who have lived in the west awhile to greet with shaking hands rather than a wai.

Isn't it odd that Thais can become western but it still looks bizarre when westerners go Thai? I imagine that scene you described would look strange to both westerners and Thais.

[NedKelly]

Well it may be possible that it becomes automatic and yes they may have all been trying to impress each other (was it a gay bar George......I wont tell anyone haha)

I went home last year for the first time in almost three years. WhenI was there I had all sorts of small problems adjusting again. Went into a bottle shop to buy some wine and could'nt work it out whenthe guy said to me " $11.99 " so I just held out my hand with all the cash and let him take it !! He said to me "whats wrong with you" I told him I had been away for a while and he then looked at me like I was an axe murderer..........so i said noooo, away in Thailand........"oh I thought you meant in gaol" ..... gees what a night that was. then went across the road top order a pizza take away.......they gave it to some other bloke.......F - me send me back to Thailand please.

[sbk]

I don't know, I get it sometimes too, drives me batty. Seems a tad too pretentious to me. Usually its by some aging hippie who thinks that walking around in fisherman trousers, no shoes and beads makes him local.

[Sunshine]

I know that it’s not the same thing but often when I’m back in England and I am speaking to an East Asian person I just can’t help speaking to them in Thai. It must be something to do with association. I hate myself for doing it because I get some really strange looks. I hope they don’t get offended.

[Bluecat]

Usually its by some aging hippie who thinks that walking around in fisherman trousers, no shoes and beads makes him local.

It makes him "opposite" locals,...

I never came across such situation but maybe they are buddhists and hence they will wai (do not forget that the Thai people are the best known for doing it but not the only ones,...).

In any case, whatever it is, I will give them the benefit of the doubt:"Prejudices are a short cut to thinking,..."

[tutsiwarrior]

probably don't want to touch another expat's hand...don't know where its been

[Bluecat]

probably don't want to touch another expat's hand...don't know where its been

Don't want to touch another expat's hand because they KNOW where it's been,...

[tutsiwarrior]

well, you know...there's always anti-bacterial soap, if knowing the last location was an issue...

better to be safe...like not eating uncooked vegetables

[dr_Pat_Pong]

probably don't want to touch another expat's hand...don't know where its been

Don't want to touch another expat's hand because they KNOW where it's been,...

Love it

[englishoak]

Wai- Not ? When in Rome

[dutch]

Arriving in Thailand from Indonesia , the first days I many times using the bahasa indonesia language to address thai people.Back in Indonesia it is the other way around.

Meeting my Thai friends at the Thai Golf club in Jakarta where everybody is wai- ing each other,I am doing automatically the same. However when a new Thai arrives he is hesitating between the wai and shake hands with me (farang).So it happens that I make the wai and at the same time he makes the move to shake hands. Some times it ends by doing both.

Never a problem , sometimes a laughing.

To be honest, being in Thailand I feel quite comfortable with the wai.

Meeting fellow farang would be for sure by shaking hands although I don't know how it will be after a couple of years

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Arriving in Thailand from Indonesia , the first days I many times using the bahasa indonesia language to address thai people.Back in Indonesia it is the other way around.

Meeting my Thai friends at the Thai Golf club in Jakarta where everybody is wai- ing each other,I am doing automatically the same. However when a new Thai arrives he is hesitating between the wai and shake hands with me (farang).So it happens that I make the wai and at the same time he makes the move to shake hands. Some times it ends by doing both.

Never a problem , sometimes a laughing.

To be honest, being in Thailand I feel quite comfortable with the wai.

Meeting fellow farang would be for sure by shaking hands although I don't know how it will be after a couple of years

I often wai a Thai Dutch, and if there's an attempted handshake I always laugh and say let's do both. They get a laugh out of that too.

[Thetyim]

Ok I own up I'm guilty of this.

The wai just becomes automatic after a while.

I meet lots of thais everyday but no falangs so the wai just creeps in as your natural reaction.

Nothing to do with impressing people.

Thai also creeps into the language. Yes , no and thank you have all been replaced with the thai equivalents.

[gisele]

The wai just becomes automatic after a while.

I meet lots of thais everyday but no falangs so the wai just creeps in as your natural reaction.

Nothing to do with impressing people.

Thai also creeps into the language. Yes , no and thank you have all been replaced with the thai equivalents.

I know what you mean, I do the same here in China.

Samll things like handing out my business or name card the Chinese way no matter who I give it to even when I am not in China. I like the custom and got used to it.

Dui, Ni Hao or Bu Zhi Dao often are automatic responses even to westerners.

Not trying to impress just became part of living here.

[Up2U]

After spending half my life in the Middle East I still tend to put hand on heart when greeting someone. This is much better than shaking an Arab's hand, after all the fingers were up his nose five minutes before, and up someone else's arse the night before. And I could never do those slobbering kisses with Yasser Arafat!

Where I slip up is when a girl says goodbye in the morning, it's often with a wai - where I'm reaching out for a last snog ....

[Flummoxed]

After my time in Hong Kong, I still can't get out of the habbit of handing over paper money with both hands and a lowered head.

However, I think Farangs Wai-ing just look preposterous. Just my opinion.

[ovenman]

However, I think Farangs Wai-ing just look preposterous. Just my opinion.

I'll second that. There are some local habits I have picked up but wai-ing is not one of them. I feel foolish if I even attempt to wai.

[chonabot]

At home ( Uk) with my tribe - Wife (Thai) Son (Luk-krung) Stepson (Thai) Me (Brit)

We have some interesting conversations/dialogue to say the least.

With our step son still learning English , our son only 5 years old , and Khun wifey not bad at English , myself reasonable at Thai , you would think communication would be ok.Wrong!

At some periods I find myself speaking to all 3 of them in English with a Thai accent , hands waving beserkly, giving it the old " My friend You" etc.

They just look at eachother grinning and agreeing " Papa Subur Mahk Mahk"

At this point I will Wai, make my excuses and flee the scene......

[et33.com]

mmm...

i think it's okay

to try and fit in

like they say

""do what the romans do""

perhaps they are trying practising to pick up thai gays/gals

ha ha...

[cutethaigirl]

Hmmmmmmmmmm

But how many westerners understand that a Wai is a form of respect and that who Wais who first is of great relevance?

Have seen many Guys Wai'ng bar girls which could be comical if the correct rules are applied.

The Wai is not Hello.

Would recommend that Westerners reciprocate but not instigate.

Agree??

[Longsands]

Agreed if the you know the correct way to return the wai.

Apart from obvious situations (monks, the in-laws, etc.) I personally don't instigate nor reciprocate because I haven't had the 'wai schooling' that all the Thais have had - three levels and all that. For me, I just give a slight bow of the head with a 'saw wad dee' and offer a handshake when appropriate. I hope I'm not offending anybody by doing this but I feel more comfortable doing so.

As for falang waiing falang -

[dutch]

Agree CuteT,

I must admit it becomes more easy and easy. With my 61 years of age,most of the times I am the senior of the group.Others will automatically wai first and I react accordingly.Different situation if social status is involved.

Farang to Farang;Not done

[ChiangMaiThai]

I don't know, I get it sometimes too, drives me batty. Seems a tad too pretentious to me. Usually its by some aging hippie who thinks that walking around in fisherman trousers, no shoes and beads makes him local.

The same people who figure that because it is hot, they should take off their shirts and get some sun. Nevermind that they are in the centre of the city and the 'locals' all are wearing long pants, short sleeve and long sleeve shirts and most definitley SHOES. These are the kind of farangs that should just go home, go directly home and do not pass go.

[ChiangMaiThai]

Hmmmmmmmmmm

But how many westerners understand that a Wai is a form of respect and that who Wais who first is of great relevance?

Have seen many Guys Wai'ng bar girls which could be comical if the correct rules are applied.

The Wai is not Hello.

Would recommend that Westerners reciprocate but not instigate.

Agree??

Couldn't agree more. I think that many farangs miss this point that the person who wais first is accpeting that the other person is of higher status and thus demonstrating his respect. Also the height of the wai does matter guys. Two hands placed together in front of your stomach doesn't look especially respectful. If you notice when a child wais an adult, the child will wai high around the nose level. When the adult wais back, it is often around the chest level.

And I don't think there's any need for farangs to wai farangs unless as a joke, but that's just me.

[Zendesigner]

As i see Thais interacting everyday i don't believe there is a relevance to "who goes first"

There is a relevance in respect to how high a wai is, how long it is being kept.

Of course there is also a relavance to how old the other person is..

I also don't know of Western people who will be first trying to shake hands with a kid.

When the kid sticks out their hand you accept it. Whe also put respect in the pressing duration and force of the hand. Thais put it in the duration and hight of the wai.

As explained by a thai friend of mine , basically it's the same as shaking somebody's hand. In the western world you also only shake somebody's hand once a day maximum , otherwise you become wierd. Mostly not with close friends every time ect..

Thais use exactly the same principle. If you are new to a group there is no harm as a farang to way first even if your so called status is higher. It shows respect to their culture and ways. Mostly they will also try to shake your hand as respect for your culture.

In a group social situation it is the newcomers who will way first. the rest will return the wai. In business it is indeed the subordinate who will way first.

Depending on the region you are in thailand the way is more or less used due to western influence ect.

I stayed in pattaya for 6 months were the wai instegated by a farang is never returned , this probably due to the fact they actually see farang as money cows and that's it.

Now i stay in chiangmai and i automattically started waying and returning ways since i see that here it has still it's original meaning and is also used by everybody in the thai community.

Even if you would make a mistake against it , they wil still accept it as a sign of respect for their culture and ways. It in the end can only make you interact with them on in better terms and gain you some points on their scoring list.

I actually find farangs not returning their Way with at least a litlle head nod the most arrogant of them all. I found the Japanese style head nod a very convenient intermediary solution for the people who are unsure about waying.

Mostly thais are equally confused about waying to a farang as you are to them since they are more shy to come and shake your hand as they are also not really sure how to proceed in the beginning. Only thais with foreign education or experience will offer a handshake with no hesitation.

Because you wai them first doesn't imply that they know they can take advantage of you.

Social class is transmitted by much more then a way, by your clothes, your car, your cell phone model :-) by your neigborhood you live in ect..

Thais upon meeting you for the first time will enquire about all of them to establish your status , so they not only use a wai to judge this.

My recommendation. Try it , you will notice through the reaction of others if it's ok and your region is still using it.

If you're in the heart of pattaya or bangkok, don't bother about it, they don't expect it of you.

The wai with your hands full is actually the most difficult of them :-)

B

[TizMe]

Where I slip up is when a girl says goodbye in the morning, it's often with a wai - where I'm reaching out for a last snog ....

And after you wake up with your wife/girlfriend, you try to slip her 1000 Baht and the taxi fare home....

[marto]

But how many westerners understand that a Wai is a form of respect and that who Wais who first is of great relevance?

The Wai is not Hello.

Would recommend that Westerners reciprocate but not instigate.

Agree??

Couldn't agree more. I think that many farangs miss this point that the person who wais first is accpeting that the other person is of higher status and thus demonstrating his respect. Also the height of the wai does matter guys. Two hands placed together in front of your stomach doesn't look especially respectful. If you notice when a child wais an adult, the child will wai high around the nose level. When the adult wais back, it is often around the chest level.

Absolutely agree!

Wai-ing is not preposterous when you communicate with locals. It shows respect. Thais appreciate it! After a motnh stay in BKK I went to Don Muang to pick up two of my associates - when I met them I said: "hello guys" and wai-ed. I didn't do it intentional - I was little ashamed, they looked at me strange... After that we shaked sweaty hands and missed hugs and kisses Arafat style...

[Phil Conners]

I (farang) prefer wai'ng other farangs. That way I don't have to shake their clammy hand