Life with the farang abroad - no bed of roses, says German's wife

[MisterBKK]

On 10/31/2016 at 2:39 AM, JAFO said:

 

I agree. My wife has a masters degree in Nutrition/nursing. She worked for 10 years a nurse manager in BKK until we left. We both felt she would be able to apply some of it and at least find a job at a hospital. She was denied for every place she applied. Sadly the US doesn't readily accept other countries educational accreditation. She researched and found she could take a 2.5 year nurse trade program but the cost was nearly $40K not counting supplies, books etc(More like $60K when done). She couldn't get a grant because I made too much money. We knew at the time we would only be in the US about 3 to 4 years so she stated it did not make a lot of sense to spend upward $60K only to leave. But to your point, some (not a lot) find their ways as you mentioned. I question the $150K figure but nevertheless they are gainfully professionally employed. They come at a much earlier age in life (My wife is early 40's) and make a run at it and some can make a lot of money. But to the OP's point, Life is no bed of roses when the gal moves to the husbands home country. Look at how the foreigners bitch about living in Thailand.  There is cultural shock, climate issues, home sick, lonely, and if your wife has any values probably feels bad that the man is making all the money and she is not contributing. The proverbial "Rose Colored Glasses" goes both ways. In the end most end up working in restaurants for other Thai people. Vietnamese and Filipinos the same.  She was offered some good money to stay to run the catering side of the business as she had built up a good reputation but she said the hours are too long, the people are pushy and demanding and the government takes too much away from her check. 

 

 

Good point JAFO. Same experience here. My wife has a BS degree in Biology. When she moved here (we are in San Jose), I told her she would have no trouble getting a lab job in a Biotech company. Nothing doing! Sometimes it isn't what you think (or what you were promised) when you get there. When I retire and we move to Thailand, I'll see the other direction of the rose colored glasses :-)

 

[JAFO]

7 hours ago, MisterBKK said:

 

Good point JAFO. Same experience here. My wife has a BS degree in Biology. When she moved here (we are in San Jose), I told her she would have no trouble getting a lab job in a Biotech company. Nothing doing! Sometimes it isn't what you think (or what you were promised) when you get there. When I retire and we move to Thailand, I'll see the other direction of the rose colored glasses :-)

 

 

It was initially disheartening for my wife. All that hard work in school to be told "not applicable in the US".  My wife didn't want to sit and do nothing and struggled with not contributing financially.  This is why she took the catering job.  She applied to many more healthcare job postings but was told she needed US accreditation or certifications.  I felt bad for her.  It ended up being ok for her in the catering business but now we are back in Thailand and she knows she can't find a job due to her age. However it's ok as she is extremely busy taking care of her father and me to a great degree and she takes care of the house and the property which is a full time job while I work.  As I said she is very happy to be back home as to the OP title  it's no bed of roses in the western countries as it always seems to be portrayed. 

[blazes]

On 10/31/2016 at 5:35 PM, Oziex1 said:

They seem to think we were all born on a mountain of money, I wish.

Nothing annoys me more than farangs giving excessively large tips and other misguided generosity, only reinforces the belief.

 

 

It now appears to be a growing practice to add a 10% "Service Charge" to your bill in a slightly above-average kind of restaurant.  (don't know about all those restaurants with hard wooden chairs and kindergarten tables....anybody have experience of either restaurant lately?)

So, the 10% gets around the farang cheap-charlies who approve of the general Thai habit of leaving a measly 20 baht on the table (if that).

[metisdead]

An offensive post has been removed. 

[laislica]

2 hours ago, blazes said:

On 31/10/2016 at 11:35 AM, Oziex1 said:

They seem to think we were all born on a mountain of money, I wish.

Nothing annoys me more than farangs giving excessively large tips and other misguided generosity, only reinforces the belief.

 

 

It now appears to be a growing practice to add a 10% "Service Charge" to your bill in a slightly above-average kind of restaurant.  (don't know about all those restaurants with hard wooden chairs and kindergarten tables....anybody have experience of either restaurant lately?)

So, the 10% gets around the farang cheap-charlies who approve of the general Thai habit of leaving a measly 20 baht on the table (if that).

 

 

 

I wonder if you are an American Blazes?

 

I understand that in America, a waiter gets very little basic wages from his employer and relies on Tips from customers.
In the UK waiters are paid a proper and reasonable wage and Tips are a nice but not necessary bonus (IMO)

 

When I retired to Spain at the turn of this century, I gave tips but noticed that the Spanish did not.

In fact, as soon as I had Spanish friends,  they quickly told me to stop tipping.

They said that all I was doing was telling the owner that they should charge more and that prices would go up!

I hadn't thought about that but they had quite a good point eh?

I never looked further into this, I simply assumed that, like the UK, their waiters get a proper living wage.

 

At the weekend, my wife and I went to a Chinese WOK in South East Spain to have lunch with friends.

My wife and I forgot our iPad Air.

The waiter found it after we had left but opened it and found my phone number and rang me.

When we returned the next day to collect it, I tried to give him a €10 tip but he refused it....

 

Perhaps different cultures have different ideas about what to give or expect?

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 2, 2016 by laislica
Spelling, sorry, it's dark in ere LOL

[Johnniey]

15 hours ago, laislica said:

 

 

 

I wonder if you are an American Blazes?

 

I understand that in America, a waiter gets very little basic wages from his employer and relies on Tips from customers.
In the UK waiters are paid a proper and reasonable wage and Tips are a nice but not necessary bonus (IMO)

 

When I retired to Spain at the turn of this century, I gave tips but noticed that the Spanish did not.

In fact, as soon as I had Spanish friends,  they quickly told me to stop tipping.

They said that all I was doing was telling the owner that they should charge more and that prices would go up!

I hadn't thought about that but they had quite a good point eh?

I never looked further into this, I simply assumed that, like the UK, their waiters get a proper living wage.

 

At the weekend, my wife and I went to a Chinese WOK in South East Spain to have lunch with friends.

My wife and I forgot our iPad Air.

The waiter found it after we had left but opened it and found my phone number and rang me.

When we returned the next day to collect it, I tried to give him a €10 tip but he refused it....

 

Perhaps different cultures have different ideas about what to give or expect?

 

 

 

 

 

Many ignorant foreigner seem to think it is ok to tip the barber here. The result being that it very hard, as a foreigner to get a good haircut and shave. They'll be tipping the dentist next!

[Naam]

27 minutes ago, Johnniey said:

Many ignorant foreigner seem to think it is ok to tip the barber here. The result being that it very hard, as a foreigner to get a good haircut and shave.

some ignorant foreigners seem to follow strange logics 

[Johnniey]

9 minutes ago, Naam said:

some ignorant foreigners seem to follow strange logics 

As if a long term Pattaya dweller, who refuses to learn Thai would know anything about local Thai customs

 

Even learn English, for that matter, "logic" is an uncountable noun.

 

[kimchibogan]

I moved from Australia to here and the funny thing is that my Thai wife has more money than me. I guess I am a fairly rare occurrence.

[Naam]

2 hours ago, Johnniey said:

As if a long term Pattaya dweller, who refuses to learn Thai would know anything about local Thai customs

 

Even learn English, for that matter, "logic" is an uncountable noun.

 

as a long term Pattaya resident i pay for my haircut 120 Baht (60 Baht for the haircut and 60 Baht tip). the tip ensures that other poor Farangs can't get good haircuts which enables them to bitch in Thaivisa about impertinent Thai females living in Germany and stating facts as well as demonstrating their superior grammar knowledge of their native language.

[maicotai]

On 11/1/2016 at 2:03 PM, Mook23 said:

Not in this part of the world. Safety net through marriage is the local tradition, also in burma or khmen.

I am living 12 years with my wife from Thailand , we don't get riches but we still have a normal good life and love each others......But we have to work everyday for survive on this difficult world .

[maicotai]

On 11/1/2016 at 3:03 PM, Johnniey said:

Not in Thailand mate, well between Thais and foreigners.

I am living 12 years with my wife from Thailand , we don't get riches but we still have a normal good life and love each others......But we have to work everyday for survive on this difficult world .

[micmichd]

On 31/10/2016 at 2:13 PM, thai3 said:

Looks like she's qualified for having kids and moaning

Hopefully she doesn't have kids, they would only get bashed in racist Germany. 

[kimchibogan]

2 minutes ago, micmichd said:

Hopefully she doesn't have kids, they would only get bashed in racist Germany. 

Really, mixed kids get bashed in Germany? Not good....

[kimchibogan]

3 hours ago, Johnniey said:

Many ignorant foreigner seem to think it is ok to tip the barber here. The result being that it very hard, as a foreigner to get a good haircut and shave. They'll be tipping the dentist next!

 

My haircut costs 350b but I always give her 400b as a thank you for the good haircut. I'm sure she appreciates it.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

I moved from Australia to here and the funny thing is that my Thai wife has more money than me. I guess I am a fairly rare occurrence.

Zzzzzzzzz

[Naam]

1 hour ago, kimchibogan said:

Really, mixed kids get bashed in Germany? Not good....

Germany is not more racist than any other country. don't believe generalising statements!

[Johnniey]

2 hours ago, maicotai said:

I am living 12 years with my wife from Thailand , we don't get riches but we still have a normal good life and love each others......But we have to work everyday for survive on this difficult world .

We are the minority i think my friend.

My wife and I recently celebrated out 28th wedding anniversary and have lived in Thailand all that time. Most of that time she has worked bringing up 4 kids. I work hard everyday but nowhere near as hard as i would have to work abroad to have the same standard of living. 

[Johnniey]

11 minutes ago, Naam said:

Germany is not more racist than any other country. don't believe generalising statements!

LOL this must be  joke   I suppose the ideology of "Master Race" just disappeared after they were stopped trying to take over the world and eradicate those who weren't of this race.

[Johnniey]

2 hours ago, kimchibogan said:

 

My haircut costs 350b but I always give her 400b as a thank you for the good haircut. I'm sure she appreciates it.

Charging that much, I assume you get it permed or dyed.

Charging that for a haircut, I really doubt she needs 50 baht. 

Don't bother to learn about the cultural norms in the country you live in.

 

I pay 150 baht and give them 150 baht as that is the price. That includes a wash and a bit of wax but no shave.

[csabo]

On 10/31/2016 at 7:22 PM, overherebc said:

 

Quite often I've grabbed a beer.

Can't quite get my head around grabbing a wife.?

 

You and me both bro, you and me both but it does happen believe it or not.

[jadee]

I'm glad that posts like this get attention and go viral, hopefully one day the expectations will fade. I find that my wife latches onto Thais on social media who have married wealthy foreigners and assumes that everyone is rich. Thanks to Facebook, Instagram etc, and people posting everything to show what a wonderful life they have, it's easy for people to become jealous. 

[Johnniey]

On 03/11/2016 at 7:59 PM, jadee said:

I'm glad that posts like this get attention and go viral, hopefully one day the expectations will fade. I find that my wife latches onto Thais on social media who have married wealthy foreigners and assumes that everyone is rich. Thanks to Facebook, Instagram etc, and people posting everything to show what a wonderful life they have, it's easy for people to become jealous. 

I think otherwise. Uneducated, unattractive Nois from Buriram will find it quite appealing and think they would rather empty dustbins in Hamburg than sell somtam for the rest of their life. Foreigners are insanely willing to adopt her kids that Somchai has abandoned. All she has to do is jump on a bus, put on a bit of make up, set up a sausage stall outside the pink pussy and some poor guy after a few beers, will make a totally irrational decision. 

[Falconator]

The huge influx of foreign men in Thailand throwing too much money around has caused a ridiculous "get rich via foreign husband" rat race among many Thai women. A "get your walking ATM now" rat race.

 

This articles just shows you the nasty attitudes of many Thai women who think that Farang men are walking ATM's.

Not only Isan women are like this. Northern Thai women can be like this too. You hear a little less about them on ThaiVisa because they tend to go Bangkok or other Asian men. But demanding Northern Thai women's expectations are the same, if not even worse.

 

Simply having a foreign boyfriend or husband means that all her friends will become envious because they assume that her new boyfriend will be splashing money everywhere so that she can sit at home and not have to do anything. Whether or not that's reality, this just shows you how ridiculous their financial and lifestyle expectations can be.
 

Due to the need to "save face" and look successful, many wives of foreign men will show off to their friends about how rich they are now, even if they are living in substandard conditions and barely surviving on very tiny incomes. If they don't show off, their friends and relatives would criticize them for being unsuccessful and stupid for not making full use of their golden goose. This creates false impressions of all Mia Farang being rich.

 

Yes, this is how they think. Thai women have personally told me these things in Thai.

 

Check out this outline of the book "Africa and Money Matters." Striking similarities right?

http://www.ugandamission.net/ministry/money/image/70obs.pdf

[Falconator]

Just a bit appalled that these women have the mindsets of some of the ungrateful refugees in Germany demanding the right to free everything. Shouldn't they at least try to put the reputations of Thai migrants a notch above those of Syrian and Sub-Saharan African refugees? Not that I'm against any of those people, but that self-sufficiency rather than ungrateful leeching should be a realistic goal among all immigrants.