baabaabobo Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Cashtration: the act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent indefinitely. Ignoranus: a person who's both stupid and an ######. Intaxication: euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your own money all along. Reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly. Bozone: the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the future. Foreploy: misrepresenting yourself in order to get laid. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high up. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. Osteopornosis: a degenerate disease. Karmageddon: when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer. Decafalon: the gruelling event of getting through the day while consuming only things that are good for you. Glibido: all talk and no action. Dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. Arachnoleptic fit: the frantic dance performed when you accidentally walk into a spider's web. Beelzebug: the mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. Caterpallor: the colour you turn after finding half a worm in your apple. Coffee: the person upon whom one coughs. Words that do exist where the meaning should be changed: * Flabbergasted: being appalled at how much weight one has gained. * Abdicate: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. * Esplanade (verb): to attempt an explanation while drunk. * Willy-nilly: impotent. * Negligent: absentmindedly answering the door in a nightgown. * Lymph (verb): to walk with a lisp. * Gargoyle: olive-flavoured mouthwash. * Balderdash: a rapidly receding hairline. * Testicle: a humorous question in an exam. * Rectitude: the formal and dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. * Oyster: a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish. * Frisbeetarianism: the belief that after death the soul flies up on to the roof and gets stuck there. * Circumvent: the opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Clifton Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Pattayanoia: The state of mind your female partner will go into whenever you mention going to or being in Pattaya. Mianoia: Usually caused by the state of mind mentioned above, causing her to truly believe the mia noi does in fact exist, whether you have actually met the person or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soju Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I've got one... Libyan: An extremely lame joke. Any joke that nobody gets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilHarries Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Tripewriter : a device used for writing US Presidential speeches (only recently came into common usage). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baabaabobo Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 Here's one for the season: TREVEL 1. a. (n.) Merry-making while on the move. 2. b. (v.in.) To indulge in boisterous revelry whilst going from one place to another. Merry Christmas to one and all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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