dundas

One comment I've heard is that gay men are less likely to benefit from family support (wife, kids, etc). So if you come from a poorer background, and have no equivalent support structure, you might not feel that being gay is such a great long-term proposition. This is anecdotal, don't know how much this view is shared.

I've used Skype forwarding. It requires a subscription, but once set up with that there is no per-call charge and it works well People call my land line number in Australia and get put through to my Thai mobile. I'm no sure about Viber. I haven't used it in much - in Japan quality was exemplary; the only time I've tried it in Thailand, call quality was non-existent, and I had to text the person calling me to call me back on Skype, which did work.

I'm writing as someone in a position in some ways similar to yours, rather than as a possible partner (not ever having been to Isaan and not being much of a buffalo myself). The 'harder and harder' comment really resonated, too, and if you also feel the need to talk into an understanding ear about shrinkage and whatever happened to life-long guarantees not to mention the unfairness of it all, PM me, I'm a few years ahead of you in that department, buddy ... Anyway, even in my 60s I've had people try to approach me on the BTS and other public transport in Bangkok (I'm always with my partner in Bangkok, so it's never going to happen) but you, your situation is different, so adopt an open stance is my suggestion, whenever on public transport.

Tried a massage parlour once, but the massage boy was straight as quite a few are in Chiang Mai, and was so relieved when I just stayed with the massage. I got a huge and very loving hug when I gave him the normal tip at the end of it all but I don't think the hug was likely to be a prelude to a future relationship.

I've also had offers on Fridae, often with a hint of money boy, and never taken anyone up on it, not that there's anything wrong with people on Fridae. Or Gay Romeo for that matter. I met my current partner (then 39, now 44, from the country but not Isaan) in the sauna in Chiang Mai, and we've been together a bit over four years, have a business together, and are tied up in various ways, mostly financial. He was actually looking for a business partner, and he found me. So as roberthebruce said - someone will show up. Just be ready for them when they are. Or you might try for a referral from someone who has a friend who has a friend who is looking for someone just like you ... arranged marriages of that sort happen, too, more often than you think. Oh, and you don't have to be hard, as long as the other party is, some of us have to learn to swallow that re- (oh, OK, enough, I'll finish here).

I've flown Air Asia a number of times, and have no complaints. On my last flight, though, from Chiang Mai to Melbourne via Kualur Lumpur, I realised that Air Asia isn't so great if things go wrong. 

I bought a ticket on the Air Asia site allowing an hour connection time in KL. Fine, except that the fight left CNX an hour late. When I finally arrived in KL, there were no waiting staff, no signs, nothing. I - and a number of other CNX-Mel passengers - had to run around the low cost terminal looking for our departing flight. The place isn't particularly well signposted, with the signs for departing flights really facing people coming the other way (we had come off an arriving flight). We worked that out after we had run into immigration for KL arriving passengers (no signs showing us any different). 

On the way I stopped at the transfer area and found another passenger from my flight who had already missed his connecting flight, presumably on a "fly-through" ticket like mine. He wasn't getting much satisfaction. 

I then realised that if I missed my flight, I would probably get the same treatment. All Air Asia promise in those circumstances is that you can have a seat on the next available connecting flight. That might be one day away or more. Any financial costs for accommodation, food, visa costs etc are between you and your insurer, if you have one (I didn't, not for covering delays). 

Luckily, I made my flight, but the new low cost terminal - far better than the warehouse/factory unit it replaces - is also huge, and 30 minutes after the flight took off and I reached into my shirt pocket, my boarding pass was still drenched in sweat. 

So next time? I'll think again. I would still use Air Asia for point to point flights, but I'm no longer sure that the "fly-through" deals offer connecting passengers much of a deal if they miss their flight. It's a low cost carrier and in those circumstances, you get what you pay for - nothing much at all, and the possibility of delayed arrivals into your final destination and a lot of expense in between. 

I think that whatever we think of Gothom Arya's credentials, he's right about the need for Thais to learn to co-exist.

I also think Thailand has a lesson for the west. If you want to see an example of what happens when politics become too polarised, look no further.

It doesn't matter much if it's red vs yellow, or tea party crazies vs left liberal loonies, the more that polarity escalates, the worse it is for the country. Ignore what's happened here at your peril.

True Move were giving away SIM cards when I came through Immigration in Chiang Mai at the end of last month. The promotion is aimed at tourists, but it's an OK deal.

I like the comments about helmets, shoes, and practising in quiet places. Not sure you have to go to Pai, though. There are some very quiet roads around Chiang Mai - if you have a friend who can get to those quiet places so that it's safe for you to practise.

Some other tips:

• As there's a chance you'll come off the bike while you're learning, wear jeans and long sleeved shirt/jacket as well as the helmet and good shoes. It might help save you from some of the injuries I see being paraded in RAM hospital.
• You don't own "your" part of the road like you might in your own country. Stick as far to the left as possible.
• Just because the light has just turned red doesn't mean you should stop. Someone behind you might clean you up (and that's the closest I've been to being killed on a motorbike in CM - on my first day on a motorcycle here). That's another reason for sticking to the left - you're less likely to have someone not planning to stop run up the back of you if you're not in their way. "Red lights turn red two seconds after the turn red." (might not be the law but often works like that).
• Take an accommodating stance when riding - if someone pushes in in front of you that's because they're expecting you to let them in. You might as well; even when a bike the courtesy will be returned.
• I tend to be off the bike after dark, or at the very latest after 10 pm. Too many drunks, and too many drugs.
• I will do anything to avoid riding a small scooter on the super-highway or similar roads - the speed differential is too great. Plan your route and avoid those roads - riding a bike in the wrong place can be very scary.
• Personally, I don't mind something like a Honda PCX - good handling and linked brakes, and it's automatic. Just roll on the throttle and go.

If you can't find a place where you can learn, at least do some internet searches on e.g., motorcycle braking, and counter-steering.

Good luck!

I initially thought of my preferred mode of low cost carriers - Jetstar, Air Asia, Scoot. But if you are buying at short notice, they tend not to be cheap.

You might find Qantas better - buy the cheapest and least flexible outbound sector on a return ticket, and pay a bit more for a flexible return sector. I'm commenting on Qantas because I'm not sure how Thai or other airlines price their fares.

If you have sufficient frequent flyer points that might be an ideal solution. You can often redeem points at reasonably short notice (no guarantees, though) and the price in points or miles does not change (in the case of Qantas, I'm thinking of classic rewards, not the points + pay deal, which would also be more expensive).

My experience was slightly better than what i was expecting when I posted above. I travelled on a "through-fare" KIX-KUL-CNX and my arrival flight landed as scheduled at 5.20 am, my departing flight left at 6.55 am. I got off the plane (on an air bridge directly into the terminal) and started walking, following the signs - through to the international transfer security check and an Air Asia check of my (already issued) boarding pass. I should say think I was lucky - I got off the plane fairly early, and the lines weren't long. I can imagine that it might take considerably longer in busy times. Then it was a matter of again following the signs for my flight (Area L), followed by another security check. I had time for a snack and a coffee at Gloria Jeans (not to my taste), and a change of clothes, and then went to the boarding lounge (again boarding through the air bridge). I did a lot of walking in a short time; I don't know what facilities are offered to people who might have difficulty walking.

My bag came off the plane OK in CNX, no problem. It all worked flawlessly, and the whole airport experience is better in every way than it was in the old LCC terminal.

From the Air Asia website:

No transit visa

No immigration clearance in Malaysia and exemption of airport tax at transit hub.
Note: Applicable only for international transfers with a maximum stop-over of 6-hours in Malaysia.

I understand they're using air bridges within the one terminal, so I think the experience won't be too much different from most other airlines' connecting flights.

I'm flying Air Asia through KUL tomorrow. I printed out the boarding passes for both incoming and outgoing flights a week ago and so all I need to do at my originating airport at check-in is have my documentation verified.

I imagine I'll have to show my passport and second boarding pass in KUL, too.

If it turns out any differently, I'll post again.

I have used AirAsia for Chiang Mai - KUL - Melbourne, and I like Air Asia more than, say, a legacy airline such as Cathay Pacific, because I have much more control over what I get for what I pay.

It's true there are more seats across than on some other airlines, but they are still bearable. I always book a seat with extra legroom and that's definitely worth the extra money for me (I'm 194 cm). I t normally pre-order meals (OK, nothing special in my opinion) and I always pay for my baggage in advance. As someone else has mentioned, their baggage fees have gone up a lot recently, and unlike some other low cost carriers, they only allow 7 kg of carry on. So either travel light or pay up in advance.

In future, I think I'll pay for food and baggage closer to the time I'm actually travelling. If there's a change of plan and I have to cancel, better that I lose the smallest amount of money possible. They're not renown for giving refunds.

Service is OK - and I'm looking forward to using the new LCC terminal jn Kualur Lumpur the next time I fly (late this month).

From what I can see, only Thai offer non-stop flights BKK-Brisbane. In my opinion, flying non-stop is a whole lot easier than travelling 2 or 3 legs with very young children. The Thai offer ex Australia you mention sounds pretty good to me - maybe it's a matter of taking the rough with the smooth, and paying for your partner's fare out of Thailand on TG too.

I had an ED visa some years ago. At the time I could have paid more money to apply for the longer visa, but there was absolutely no guarantee that I would get it, and the extra money was not refundable. So I saved my money and opted for the shorter version and took my chances that I could extend it. In retrospect, I think this was a very good decision.

Yes, apply through a consulate if you can, especially one with a reputation for being helpful. I applied through the Embassy in Canberra, and found the service to be slow.

In my case I had to comply with a seemingly never ending barrage of requests for more and more detailed information; one memorable example: I had to supply documentary proof (with photos) that the Director of the school, a person with a very Thai name, was actually a Thai citizen. Later the school told me that they had never had documentary requests of that type from any other Thai mission anywhere else in the world, make of that what you will.

My visa was delayed over and over until the day before my flight when after weeks of silence it suddenly it became available in Canberra, but too late to send by express post or normal courier services. Make of that what you will, too. I ended up paying $180 to a courier company to get the passport back in time.

Once in Thailand, I sometimes timed trips out of the country so that my 3 monthly fronting up to Immigration was done as part of processing on re-entry into the country, but to do that I still needed a multi-entry permit (which I obtained from Immigration once in Thailand).

If I were to do it all over, I would pay the school fees (paying by credit card to a school that provides an ironclad guarantee in writing that the money will be refunded in the event I am not issued with a visa) and I would then approach the consulate and ask them, as suggested in the previous post. Unless they were enthusiastic about applying for the 1 year visa, I would just take my chances on the 90 day one. You can't avoid the bureaucratic requirements whichever way you go.

Is it save to travel to Thailand I have ticket for 28 May what shall I do?

I have a ticket to Thailand for later in June, and don't have any plans at this stage to change it.

If it gets so dangerous that your embassy is telling you not to travel, I'm guessing you'll be able to reschedule your ticket, or get a refund.

Otherwise just be prudent when you're here.

A very late addition to this thread.

I have had a similar experience sending a parcel to a customer in the UK. It took so long the customer started the claim process for a refund in Paypal.

Then yesterday he dropped the claim, and told us he'd received the parcel.

But in Thailand Post/Royal Mail track and trace, it still shows up only as "Departure from outward OE" (Swampy) despite the fact it's already been delivered in the UK.

Maybe it will show up in Royal Mail or Thailand Post early this coming week. I think I have to educate my customers on how track and trace is a second-rate tracking process, and encourage them not to worry to much, or better, we will try to access UPS or Fedex at reasonable rates.

does anybody have info on the rate you get from an atm when using a foreign card in thai, the atm offers a rate a little bit lower than market exchange rate and then asks if you want to continue with that rate or decline that rate and proceed with a rate that isn't shown.???

I think the rate they offer you is one that favours the Thai bank, and to add insult to injury you may still incur foreign exchange fees at your end (but that depends on your home bank). The advantage they tout is that you'll get a known rate - but in my experience, the unknown rate has always been better.

It's very difficult to respond to this thread with - I was going to say - a straight face. Anyway, if this device (I was going to say 'tool' but somehow that seems inappropriate) was on the receiving end of a young guy's first experience would it be somehow the key imprint for sex in later life? If it was, he would only ever use toys, rather than "real" people, a bit like one of those Japanese nerds who never have a sexual relationship because they've got used to having a virtual 'friend' instead.

But speaking for myself, and maybe I'm old-fashioned, I think I'd prefer a warm mouth, even if it doesn't have a removable liner ...

As other posters have stated, it depends on the airline. Air Asia has never once asked to see my credit card, nor has Qantas when I've paid for third parties using my card. At Don Muang, Nok Air once asked for a credit card which I had lost a few weeks before, but backed down when I said I had looked on their website and found nothing stating that I had to show my credit card at check-in.

On the other hand, TG really put me through the hoops when I wanted to travel ex BKK using a ticket bought months before using the same lost card - I had to go to their office, cancel the ticket bought on the missing card, and buy a completely new ticket using a different card, fortunately at the same price. Because they saw the card at the time of purchase, I didn't have to show it again at check-in. Nowadays, if I happen to be flying TG, I go to the office before the flight, show them my credit card, ensure that gets put into the booking, and the problem is solved.

I wouldn't buy a TG ticket for a third party (such as a gf) unless TG agreed at the time of purchase that their need to sight the card had been met. I wouldn't buy it online and assume or hope that the airline will be reasonable. Online purchase is easy, but it can end up being very inconvenient.

You could also do as other posters have suggested, and use a travel agent - however, I seem to recall a complaint from someone who used a travel agent to buy a ticket on a certain asian airline with HQ to the south of BKK, and was refused travel at the airport when he could not show the credit card used to buy the ticket (an almost impossible request, of course, as the credit card belonged to the travel agent and not to him) - no amount of arguing would make them change their mind. Airlines can be very inflexible when it comes to administering rules.

Excuse my German but there's a phrase I seem to recall: ​Ein Schwule gibt nie die Hoffnung auf, meaning, a (gay man) never gives up hope. As for having seduced a straight man, I suspect I have but in the absence of other people's disclosure, I don't know. I do remember fondly a straight and very good looking friend at university who got very physical with me. I was too shy at the time, and he never made a second approach. He later confessed to "having perverted thoughts," as if by way of explanation. Many a slip between the cup and the lip, Sibergan ...

My best flights across the Pacific in Y class have been on Asiana. Good service and acceptable legroom. As someone else has said, the layover isn't that great, although in my case, I stayed in Seoul for a night or two in one direction. Thai Premium Economy on non-stop flights was wonderful, but alas, was scrapped with the non-stop flights. I wouldn't fly CX - my last experience with them was on a short flight from Osaka to Hong Kong on a plane with limited legroom, but generous recline. Terrible if you're tall, but great for people who aren't.

A few years ago, I had the misfortune to get involved with the Mankind Project (MKP), which - in fairness - has a diverse membership of straight and gay men but I say "misfortune", because even though MKP is supposed to be about men living better lives, most of the meetings of my local chapter were about "logistics."

"Logistics," equated to "what we do next," (MKP employ carefully coded masculine language), and we spent more time arguing about logistics than actually doing or achieving anything. In my opinion the logistics conversations were posturing, nothing more, nothing less, and the posturing was all about who had the power, who was going to be left standing at the top of our particular local shit heap at the end of our next logistics discussion. It was exhausting.

After the best part of a year of this, I left, using "the law of two feet." They retaliated by taking me off their mailing lists. It was a mutually agreeable understanding.

I mention all this because in a way this particular conversation reminds me of my time in MKP. Any all-male gathering tends to fight it out to see who's in charge, (lots of posturing and preening), so I guess it's to be expected.

But I think this particular conversation is redundant - if individuals don't like the forum, they can also apply "the law of two feet," they don't need power brokers to decide it for them. There are heaps of dead internet groups out there, and they're dead not because someone actually decided to close them down, but because of the aforementioned "law of two feet." It's a natural, organic way of doing things.

For myself, I will probably stick around here as the observer I've always been, in part because doing so allows me to reminisce about my MKP days but without the pain of sitting for hours in some fly-blown, god-forsaken community meeting hall. And occasionally, there's treasure amongst all the in-fighting, at least enough to keep me looking from time to time. And maybe this forum can evolve into something better and more relevant than it is now.

I thought it was great accomplishment when I lost a bit over 20 kg.

Then in my local Melbourne newspaper I just read about a man who has lost 103 kg (around 225lb) in 13 months.

"The journey required a diet and exercise overhaul that included quitting sugar and replacing meals of chips (french fries) and burgers with lean protein and vegetables. He also does one-hour cardio workouts (with a personal trainer) four times a week ...."

He's still aiming at losing another 30 kg before he's satisfied.

My weight has varied in a range of 30kg over my adult life (from 72 kg to 101 kg). Probably I carry a bit more muscle than I did in my 20s (now in my 60s) so I don't really want to go back to 72 kg again. Nor do I want to go above 90 kg. Too much pressure on joints.

I lost most weight when I first came to Thailand in 2010.

For a couple of months, I ate three or four serves of fruit for breakfast, a tuna sandwich for lunch, and more fruit for dinner. Lots of water, hardly any beer or soft drink. It certainly wasn't a recommended diet but one I just fell into - I could buy the fruit easily, and there was a cafe nearby that did a great tuna sandwich. Losing weight was effortless - maybe because I was living by myself, and didn't go out a lot initially.

When my weight got down to about 78 kg and my stomach had the vague shadow of a six-pack, I decided losing any more was probably too much, and my diet changed back to maintenance. Four years later, and I'm now around 87 kg, and I would like to be around 83 or 84kg.

Now, instead of counting calories, I try to eat at least 15 different unprocessed or minimally processed (e.g. steamed) foods a day - fruits, vegetables, salad vegetables, nuts. Counting serves of healthy foods (with the aim of making the magic number 15) makes it easier to stay away from unhealthy and highly processed foods - cakes, pastries, ice-cream, anything deep fried.

I've also noticed with seemingly innocuous foods, like bread and cereals, my weight goes up quickly, so it's a matter of not buying these foods, and not keeping them in the house.

All that said, I'm not too fanatical. Especially, there's a social cost to being one-eyed about food intake (throwing people's hospitality back in their face is not a good practice). There's also a weight gain problem from accepting too readily everything I'm offered (there was a time in my life when I seemed to bloat out every time I walked into one particular airline club), so I guess it's a matter of balance - and it ain't easy, if you're offending your partner because you don't want to eat the noodles/rice/potatoes and deep fried chicken they've just cooked you. Success with losing weight (especially the food intake component) can be a difficult and ongoing negotiation with others in your life - so make sure the key people are on side. It's not just your habitual behaviour you're changing.