foxboy

hmm thailand, a dangerous place or just attract living dangerously?

more the latter I think.. people act very differently when they come to Thailand

everyone seems to think they are 21 again!

Poor Tim. He'd spent a good twenty years in Thailand, so he was by no means naive.

So sad that he made a fatal error of judgement on this particular day.

God rest his soul and let his passing be a lesson to all of us. Never take unnecessary risks, ever!

exercise is also highly important.

Men need hard physical exercise. Too many guys substitute this for heavy drinking or smoking or other bad habits when they dont realise that their body is really craving some hard exercise.

Lazy people are never going to understand the importance of exercise to maintain permanent weight loss. They'll brag about how much they've lost through diet alone, but you won't hear from them when they've put it back on, which doesn't take long because for diet-alone weight loss it's just a calorie equation - eat more - put on weight, eat less - take it off again. A person who exercises a lot and develops a more efficient metabolism can eat more and stay lean.

If these yo-yo dieters ate what I ate everyday they'd be over 300lbs. I get to eat a lot and still lose fat or maintain low fat levels. My post exercise meal alone is about 900 calories... and that's one meal out of 5.

Tropo, like so many other guys who've spent a long time in the gym, knows exactly what he's talking about. By using the gym you get to understand your body, and appreciate the importance of exercise. Fat people are generally LAZY (fact!) they look at you like it's YOUR fault Nobody gets fat without without eating or drinking too much. It is a life choice. Nobody had those choices in the concentration camps and not one person came out fat. Where were all the poor unfortunates with under active thyroids, gland trouble, big bones, fat genes, or a slow metabolism that hardly eat but still remain fat?

I have been overweight myself, 3 stone heavier than I am now, through overeating. But now I'm 44 with a six pack and it feels great. Hard work and discipline is all you need.

Major head fracture from hitting his head on a table,.... I don't think so!

RIP to the poor victim and condolences to the family!

Why not? If he hit the corner of the table or the edge it's very possible!

I had an acquaintance who simply tripped and hit her head on the corner of a raised car tailgate. She collapsed, went into a coma and never recovered.

The movie violence we see these days gives many people a distorted idea of just how fragile we are. Kids see stuntmen falling four or five floors onto what looks like a concrete surface and believe it. In a fight? A serious swing to the head with a baseball bat can't hurt that much, surely....

Condolences to the deceased and his family.

I've always thought this. Tough guys in movies get hit with chairs, bottles, baseball bats etc and carry on fighting, giving young kids watching the impression that these are NOT potentially fatal blows, which is exactly what they are!

I can't believe people are sympathetic to this girl. Think about the impact of flooding a community with heroin. This girl was instrumental in that endeavour. Thank goodness she was caught and jailed.

Nobody would be as sympathetic if this was a man.

They can't even stop drugs from entering a prison (a secure building) how can you stop them entering a country?

...

All the other gay men must have started out straight therefore. Correct?

...

Incorrect.

ok, so if there is evidence that some men are born gay, that means all the other gay men who weren't born gay have become gay. So what were they if they were not straight?

Human

they are human whether they are gay or straight. Can you not answer the question?

I for one never asserted that most people are BORN gay, straight, trans, or bi.

However lots of evidence does suggest that sexual orientation in MEN is usually set in concrete at an EARLY age and that sexual orientation is much less fluid in men than in women. Early doesn't mean the same thing as a baby. It can also extend to sexual feelings and experiences as teenagers. Got it?

One person reporting a personal experience about anything proves nothing about wider theories related to the scientific sexual field.

There is now some evidence, in the earlier stages, that some people ARE born gay. But even if that turns out to be true, that doesn't mean that all people who become gay adults fit into that subset.

Bottom line, human sexuality is a massively complex field that spans a lot of academic areas.

ok, you've said it yourself.. 'some' men are born gay. All the other gay men must have started out straight therefore. Correct?

So there is fluidity, and men can 'switch' at any stage of their life. The only reason why it appears to be set in concrete is because of social conditioning and the stigma attached to 'coming out'. There are little if any stigmas attached to female to female action. In fact it is positively encouraged!

You seriously believe there are no stigmas attached to female on female action? Ask your mother or grandmother about that. Perhaps in your circles its generally accepted, but don't take that to mean it's universally accepted, because it is not.

You need to read more carefully. I said 'little if any' stigma, not 'no' stigma

I for one never asserted that most people are BORN gay, straight, trans, or bi.

However lots of evidence does suggest that sexual orientation in MEN is usually set in concrete at an EARLY age and that sexual orientation is much less fluid in men than in women. Early doesn't mean the same thing as a baby. It can also extend to sexual feelings and experiences as teenagers. Got it?

One person reporting a personal experience about anything proves nothing about wider theories related to the scientific sexual field.

There is now some evidence, in the earlier stages, that some people ARE born gay. But even if that turns out to be true, that doesn't mean that all people who become gay adults fit into that subset.

Bottom line, human sexuality is a massively complex field that spans a lot of academic areas.

ok, you've said it yourself.. 'some' men are born gay. All the other gay men must have started out straight therefore. Correct?

So there is fluidity, and men can 'switch' at any stage of their life. The only reason why it appears to be set in concrete is because of social conditioning and the stigma attached to 'coming out'. There are little if any stigmas attached to female to female action. In fact it is positively encouraged!

You need to read more carefully. JT said: "There is now some evidence, in the earlier stages, that some people ARE born gay". Do you understand "some evidence"?

I don't understand your point.. are you suggesting that 'some evidence' means it's not true?

...

All the other gay men must have started out straight therefore. Correct?

...

Incorrect.

ok, so if there is evidence that some men are born gay, that means all the other gay men who weren't born gay have become gay. So what were they if they were not straight?

I for one never asserted that most people are BORN gay, straight, trans, or bi.

However lots of evidence does suggest that sexual orientation in MEN is usually set in concrete at an EARLY age and that sexual orientation is much less fluid in men than in women. Early doesn't mean the same thing as a baby. It can also extend to sexual feelings and experiences as teenagers. Got it?

One person reporting a personal experience about anything proves nothing about wider theories related to the scientific sexual field.

There is now some evidence, in the earlier stages, that some people ARE born gay. But even if that turns out to be true, that doesn't mean that all people who become gay adults fit into that subset.

Bottom line, human sexuality is a massively complex field that spans a lot of academic areas.

ok, you've said it yourself.. 'some' men are born gay. All the other gay men must have started out straight therefore. Correct?

So there is fluidity, and men can 'switch' at any stage of their life. The only reason why it appears to be set in concrete is because of social conditioning and the stigma attached to 'coming out'. There are little if any stigmas attached to female to female action. In fact it is positively encouraged!

I wonder what my preference for coffee was at birth. I used to like 2 sugars, then in my adolescence I switched to no sugar and now in my middle ages I like 1 sugar. I'm so confused

... so your theory is that sexual orientation equates to food & beverage preferences.

Brilliant!

please tell me you don't actually believe that?

I have not read the entire thread, just snippets.

One post mentioned something along the lines of, you are either born gay, bi, or not.

I do not believe it is as cut and dry as that. There is a thing called 'change' there is evolution etc and people do change through their life. Something they may have loved as a youngster or early adult, they may hate with a passion when older.

Up until a year or 3 ago I was never attracted to, nor intrigued by ladyboys, nor obviously any men, even the feminine types at all in any shape or way.

In the last few years I have had some encounters with 3 ladyboys and enjoyed each one, moreso the second and third as the first was just an experiment.

I am not attracted to a ladyboy for any type of relationship other than discreet sexual ones. I have no interest in taking one to lunch or dinner or a movie.

As a transgression of these encounters, I have now been attracted to try an encounter with a man, but not any man, not a big hairy brute with muscles for example. The thought intrigues me to try, but I am not gay in any way shape or form. I would never be interested in it for anything than discrete sexual adventure of the less than vanilla kind.

I am only attracted to females and only look at them in the street and cannot ever see that changing. Because of that, I will also look at very feminine and attractive ladyboys, but they have to be extremely feminine and not the type you see wandering the streets normally or with most foreigners hand in hand, or somewhat sheepishly.

So I am living proof of 2 things here, it is not a 'born like this' phenomena and moving to Thailand can turn you Bi.

Good honest answer. I'm sure you represent a lot of men in Thailand, if they would dare to be as candid as you. Of course you will get a bashing from certain individuals now who are convinced that sexual preferences are determined and fixed at birth

I wonder what my preference for coffee was at birth. I used to like 2 sugars, then in my adolescence I switched to no sugar and now in my middle ages I like 1 sugar. I'm so confused

If Thailand was such a big "coming out" destination why don't we see more previously straight men chasing actual men (not LBs) in Thailand? We don't because it's not.

Forget labels? How do we do that? The cat is out of the bag on labels. It may be a relatively modern western export but the global trend is for more labeling, not less. Again, maybe that's bad, but it's futile to deny the social reality of it. Sure individuals can reject it and say my life doesn't fit a label but if the dominant culture is still mostly about labels and the labels have consequences, you can't exactly live under the delusion that they don't.

let's not pretend that sleeping with a man dressed up as a woman is NOT a form of 'coming out', and this happens A LOT in Thailand. Coming out is simply an acknowledgement of your own sexuality.

Forget labels? How do we do that?

easy, don't subscribe to that logic. Don't allow yourself to fall into any category and don't put other people into categories.

You asked how you measure: hetero, homo, or bi. I would say the Kinsey scale or similar scientific models. There is now a large field of science that studies human sexuality. These things ARE measurable and are not only semantics.

I've never heard of the Kinsey scale, but having looked at it, it does offer a convenient 'measure' of sexual activity. However, and this is my point.. sexual desires may be manifest, suppressed or indeed repressed. They don't necessarily lead to actions. The question I think they OP was asking, was are you more likely to 'come out' in Thailand. Given the fact that it IS more liberal and there are a proliferation of men (LB's) available in an 'acceptable' format (dressed as women, maybe with fake boobs) then yes, you are more likely to give in to your inner desires and not feel guilty. The guilt is formed in your own country by social conditioning. If you see plenty of other men doing it you may think.. 'you know what, sod it, I'm in Thailand, nobody knows, I'm going to try it!' And this will be done by men fixed on a heterosexual lifestyle up to this point in the main. It is not necessarily the act that scares them, but the label attached to it.

This thread has received a lot of interest from 'straight men'. A lot of men will want the reassurance that if they do it they will not be derided for it. They need reassurance that they can commit a 'gay' act without being labelled a 'gay'. It is unfortunate that society feels the need to pigeon hole men in this way. If a girl had a drunken encounter with her female friend she would never be labelled a lesbian.

Forget labels and forget trying to measure 'gayness' or compile dubious statistical charts. You are what you do and that's that.

That self labeling pressure is less so in Thailand as there does seem to be a freer bisexuality with Thai man where they don't feel the need so strong to self label. Enjoying M to M sex during a period of life, typically younger life, doesn't mean a person is necessarily gay for life or EVER self labels as either gay or LB. (In Thailand, or anywhere.)

you do contradict yourself Jingthing

you suggested previously that 'Male sexuality is FIXED and set in concrete at an early age.'

and when I suggested that men are not stigmatised for being gay you said - 'Incorrect'.

a lot of gay men tend to be defensive for no reason at all, some of my gay friends included. The OP is straight. He is normal. You are gay. You are normal. There is no argument. This thread has descended into an argument over semantics, yet 'straight, gay and bisexual' will mean something different to every single person. How can you measure hetero or homo sexuality?

Let's just all agree that we are all normal and enjoy different things in life and stop judging each other.

Here's another twist. If you come to Thailand as a very young man with a heterosexual orientation, and go heavy into the LB scene, and find yourself focusing and liking (a lot) the male side of the LBs over the female side with frequent pleasure reinforcements with orgasms, not only could it make you bisexual, it could make you gay. That's because YOUNG males are still somewhat sexually fluid. Almost all the punters coming to Thailand are way too old to have their oil changed in that way. Male sexuality is FIXED and set in concrete at an early age.

absolute <deleted>.. you are clearly talking from a subjective standpoint. There are gays by nature and gays by nurture. They can change sides at any age. Social conditioning teaches boys to like girls, this is considered 'normal' behaviour and any deviation from that is considered abnormal, unchristian, immoral, depraved, disgusting, etc by many.. enough to put most men off, or reduce them to hiding or repressing their true feelings. Thailand offers a sanctuary where men are not stigmatised for being gay. Consequently you have many men experimenting with LB's, which is perhaps for some as far as they dare to go. Others may go further, but safe in the knowledge that they won't be condemned for their actions. So I say yes, Thailand can turn you bisexual, but only if those feelings are already there (deep in the unconscious mind that is - the 'Id' as Freud referred to it, the TRUE SELF)

ok here is my two cents worth..

1. there are more gay men in the world than you would imagine
   
2. more men would come out if being gay was less stigmatised
   
3. Thailand offers a safe way to experiment i.e. without being frowned upon
   
4. Ladyboys present an acceptable way to sleep with a man
   
5. having the appearance of a woman acts as a facilitator
   

a man wanting to follow his inner desire to sleep with a man would not be able to do so without first accepting his own homosexuality (or degree thereof). This is manifestly impossible in many cases where he has been conditioned to be straight all of his life. A facilitator would provide an opportunity for him to enjoy seeing another man naked. The facilitator in this case would be that the ladyboy has the outward appearance of a woman (so that can't be gay, right?) Wrong. No 100% straight man would want to play with another naked man.

Being attracted to ladyboys does not necessarily make you a mincing queen, but it does put you into a grey area somewhere in between straight and gay. I'd say don't worry about it, it is nobody's business but yours. I personally find ladyboys fascinating, but I am simply not attracted to them, although I have on more than one occasion been unwittingly attracted to what I thought was a lady and then been hugely disappointed to find out it wasn't!

Having said that, if I had inadvertently kissed one I don't think I would be angry.. I think I would laugh it off and just say 'hey, you got me!'

Murderer!

Look how many morons on here are so quick to slate Bangkok, and yet you continue to visit/live here year after year. The biggest problem with Thailand is the very existence of people like you here!

This is not a news to me,our Thais sisters are the grand Masters,they do this with farangs,marry old and dying farang,poison him or give him sex till he dies,after he must have bought a house in her name.

Greed made her send money to her fellow greedy partner,the police should arrest the Thais girl too if they want to eradicate this sort of Scam in our country.

You're right! But obviously there are "givers" and "takers" all over the planet. One of your sisters is my wife and she's cool....

Dying on or under one of your sisters might be a trustworthy way of reaching Nirvana in our country....

Then better buy your Cofin and write down your WILL before you reach your Adulterous NIrvana in your womanless country.

I blame my Thais sister for open their legs for all kids of Dick because of dirty smelly money of the farangs,they kind of girls farang enjoy in thais they can not have such girls in their country till they die,2015 has it advantages and disadvantages,one good one among them is this.

This case has nothing to do with Thai tramps hoeing in the streets.

These types if cases bother me because you have thieves preying in lonely vulnerable people. They also prey on the elderly.

This Nigerian obviously reaches out to many Facebook women until he funds a lonely, guilable victim.

If some old guy or fat bald aging dude goes to Thailand to get some booty he cannot score in his own country, he is not getting scammed. Seriously, does he really think that hot 20 year old is attracted to his ugly butt. Both parties here are getting a benefit. Quid pro quo.

The chick in this case got nothing but scammed out of her money, a broken heart and more distrust.

Exactly what I was thinking! Not much sympathy for the victim on here, just rants about 'irony' and similar 'scams'. Bullshit, if you fall for a girl who is clearly way out of your league and send her lots of money, more fool you! You can't become embittered against all Thai women to a point where you fail to show empathy. I feel sorry for the poor lass. These Nigerians are tapping into a pool of women desperate to improve their own impoverished situation. What a dirty trick!

I think it is unfair to call these women 'stupid' just because they are relatively uneducated. As Westerners we are abundantly aware of Nigerian scam artists, but perhaps Thai people aren't.

Thai women are often desperate to find Western partners who will improve their lives, and they tend to rush into relationships blindly, doing whatever their partner ask of them. Yes, they are gullible and naive, but haven't we all been at some stage in life?

It's a pretty pompous attitude to call them stupid for being duped by what are essentially 'professional' conmen

Why do West Africans come to Thailand? Do they have trade links, do any of them actually come to do legitimate business? I genuinely want to know, because it appears that most of them come to Thailand to commit crime.

They're certainly not there for the weather, like me, so why do they come? Do they have work visas?

When this story first broke I read a great number posters jumping to conclusions based on nothing that this was an insurance scam. Where are all those posters now. It is a sad statement how ridiculous and embarrassing the farangs on this forum really are.

couldn't agree more. When presented with an early string of vacuous assumptions on any given subject, I just think 'oh, for God's sake, bore off' exactly the type of blokes I tried to avoid in bars. You know the ones.. spent a few years here, been ripped off a couple of times, slate Thailand all the time but refuse to leave!