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I've been offered similar "amazing" investment opportunities as the OP. Don't think I look gullible as such, but then I guess it's all down to the eye of the beholder. I have a bit of fun with these opportunities - start talking cashflow forecasts, 3 year rolling budgets, internal rates of return etc., and the prospective borrower's eyes glaze over and that's the end of the discussion. I then offer to do some budgets and forecasting models for them at 2,000 baht per hour and watch them run like hell.

I have a good friend that got the sharemarket tip of a lifetime from a bloke in a bar - said bloke gave the impression that he was a millionaire, had contacts with foreign governments etc., and was quite believable. I did some quick research on the web and found he was a local low-life with a history of dodgy dealings. I had to nail my friends feet to the ground to stop him putting 1/3 of his life's savings into the shares. Since we got the tip, the shares have halved in value. I think the bloke was simply trying to be a "noter" as there was no personal gain opportunity for him, but he had influence and I wonder if there are others out there who actually believed him and have done their dough already.

It's my understanding that falang/farang is interpreted as Westerner, not as Foreigner.

How does the OP refer to Thais? Do you use their name (assuming you know their name) without using the polite Kuhn, Pi, Nong, Loong, Yai, Ba, Por, Mere, etc? If you don't use the Thai form of address (or maybe you don't even address them or try to communicate with them at all), then I can guarantee that when you hear them refer to you as a farang that they are adding a few choice adjectives as well. Have you heard them say Kwai Falang?

Try learning their names and respective age/relationship titles and every time you see them, give them a wai, say Hello in Thai, followed by their title/name, and a "how are you". I assume after 5 minutes years living here that you know those simple phrases? They will get the message that you have suddenly discovered how to show respect to them, and you're guaranteed to get a sawatdee-krap Kuhn Henlee back in return. Jeez, even if they call you Kuhn Falang it will be an improvement.

I asked a Thai bloke roughly how big a Rai was, he looked at me like I was retarded. He probably posted how stupid I was on a Thai forum .

Thanks Scully, been reading TV posts all morning and this post of yours gave me a laugh that I badly needed.

We all know, that a fair amount of those money, are going to end up in

the wrong pockets. Which most to us is not acceptable, simply due to the

big amounts we are talking about.

it is none of our (expats) business to judge what is acceptable/charming or not

in our "host" country. moreover, no bitching will change the situation.

I agree - I don't pay taxes here (other than VAT) so why should I have any right to criticise or praise what is done with Thai government funds. I get to use the roads, the infrastructure (no wisecracks please), and yet I hardly contribute a cent towards the maintenance or capital cost of that infrastructure.

I will say that "corruption" is endemic in Asia, and has been for thousands of years, long before we westerners really had any real culture. (I'm talking post Roman Conquest here.) It's a way of life in Asia, and let's face it corruption was endemic in most western cultures/governments until the late 19th or early 20th century.

However, if you do pay significant taxes in Thailand then I respect your right to have an opinion on government corruption.

As to the quaintness of low-level corruption by the BIB at the roadside and made several posts about my experiences on TV. I've politely argued with them several times and got away with it, but if I'm in the wrong then I happily pay the 200 baht rather than get my licence confiscated and all the drama that goes with it. I might offer my expired credit card next time and see if gets a laugh and a free pass!

To the OP. Try this link for Weather Radar. I've found it very reliable (back in NZ). It's computer modelled so is constantly updated with data that will modify the display for you as new data/trends are fed into the model. You can select a time slot and play the video and see where rain is likely to fall, where it comes from, and how long it is expected to last.

I'd rather trust this sort of model than a forecasters interpretation (probably of similar models admittedly), but the forecaster is summarising 2 or 3 days data covering hundreds of thousands of square kilometres into a simple phrase such as "rain on Thursday, or maybe Friday in parts of Chiang Mai."

Link: http://www.weather-forecast.com/maps/Thailand?symbols=none&type=prec

Paper plates and plastic cups are the obvious answer to your dilemma.

I've read this entire topic and frankly am both amused and bemused about many of the comments, particularly those of the OP. Surely anybody has the choice to live in any country they choose, subject to the immigration laws of the country of their choice and your personal financial position. The immigration laws (of any/all countries) are subject to change, as is your own financial position due to the whimsy of international financial markets and exchange rates.

If for whatever reason you are either unable or unwilling to comply with the immigration laws of the country you choose, then you will not be able to live there. If your financial situation is such that you are unable to meet the long term visa (retirement) requirements of Thailand (or any other country), then you have to make alternative choices - ipso facto.

If you are less than 50 and have to find alternative methods (visas) of living in Thailand long term, then you will have to work within the immigration laws to achieve your aim - ipso facto.

I should imagine that if your income is less than the 800K THB requirement to get a retirement visa in Thailand, then you won't exactly be living the life of Riley in your own country anyway.

As to the use of the word "detritus", irrespective of whether the OP classes himself as belonging to that group, well that's just inflammatory and unfortunately has somewhat derailed the general discussion in the thread. Sarcasm switch on - Personally I would prefer that you'd used the much more technical phrase "bottom feeder". Sarcasm switch off.

I asked another 3 Thai girls and 2 Thai guys the question tonight. Use of iphone calculators etc was prevalent. The uniform answer was 48. Told them all they were wrong and the correct answer was 52. I'm the crazy Farang that can't count apparently!

Ok I took the bait and asked the question. The answer is 48. The reasoning - 4 weeks per month and 12 months per year. I mentioned that there might be 52 weeks in a year and my maths was severely questioned. "Four times twelve is definitely fourty-eight". Go figure!

<p>You admit openly that you're a bit naïve about FX transactions and Foreign Currency Accounts.  Your statement that the AUD has been "more stable" against the THB than the USD supports your admission.  And now you want to convert USD to AUD, so you can later convert to THB? </p>

<p> </p>

<p>EDIT - To clarify - the USD is at an all-time low against the AUD.  The AUD is close to an all-time high against the THB.  In layman's terms you are buying AUD very expensively, and then because the AUD is very high against the THB, you would be buying THB very expensively with your AUD, it arguably does not have much headroom.  There is therefore (arguably) very little, if any margin to be made on your theory.  A US person with a real need to have THB for consumption in Thailand would probably judge it better to leave as much currency in USD as they can for the time being on the expectation that the USD firms and/or the THB weakens against your domestic currency.  Because your cash/assets are held in USD at a time when the USD is very weak against Thailand and most major currencies, your kinda between a rock and a hard place at the moment.</p>

<p> </p>

<p>I suggest you do some comprehensive reading to understand more of the complexities of FX trading and the relationships between various currency cross-rates before you delve too far into actually doing anything.  Many people have been burned by transferring across currencies without knowing what they are doing, particularly with on-line leveraged day-trading.</p>

I'm confused as to why anybody would bother to try and prove their income/pension and then get a POI letter from your embassy. Thai immigration accept a Statutory Declaration issued by an Embassy. A Statutory Declaration is different to a POI letter. Simply go to the Embassy, ask to make a Statutory Declaration, state that your income exceeds the requirements of the Thailand Immigration for the purposes of a Retirement Visa.....and Bob's your Aunty!

Because you are making a Stat. Dec., you don't need to prove what you are declaring. No need to transfer money, no need for bank statements, passbooks, pension documentation etc. Here's a TV thread that clarifies it. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/534786-retirement-visa-thb65000month-income-option/

Essentially yes, the comment you have quoted means that it would be better if a "Gentleman" captains the cricket team rather than a "Gamekeeper". It infers that a gentlemen is technically high-born from the ruling classes, of good education, good manners, and of the Landed Gentry etc etc. A Gamekeeper is arguably an uneducated peasant of low standing that would work for the Gentleman on his Estate. In the period that your program is probably set, the gamekeeper would probably not have been in the Class that generally played cricket as it was only those of refined upbringing that played.

I'm not supporting any sort of class distinction, just trying to clarify.

The British working man stopped believing in a fair days work for a fair days pay, and we got what we deserved.............some of the industrial practises of the time were absolutely beyond belief.

I sat in a canteen in 1984 in BSC Ravenscraig and watched a vicious fight take place during a Union meeting, the Communists, ( yes we had communists, red stars on their caps, the whole works ) were demanding that we come out on strike to support the Miners. Other men objected as the miners had refused to support our Steel strike in 1980, one word led to another and a mass brawl broke out.

Entertaining as it was for an 18 year old to watch I'll never forget one guy saying, " the idea is a simple one, come to work, do your job, get paid, go home, not come to work and look for any excuse to go out on strike ".

I would suggest that just about anyone who was involved in the heavy industries during the 70's and 80's could tell you horror stories, deliberate sabotage, ( a regular occurrence in our steel works ) petty strikes, blah blah.....it was just unbelievable at times.

We working men were our own worst enemy, and if you don't believe that, you weren't there.

In the early days Thatcher had no choice, she had to do what she did re British nationalized industries.

She lost the plot later though with the poll tax, allowing Nigel Lawson to turn on the credit tap, and talking tough on Europe while folding behind the scenes. She stayed on for one election too many, it's as simple as that.

I think your post sums up the 70's and 80's under her stewardship very well. The UK was a divided nation and casualties from both wings of the political spectrum were inevitable. It was basically a war of sorts. Perhaps the following lyrics from a song of the times by the Strawbs (I'm a union man, written in 1973) will remind some of us of the political feelings/power of the Unions back in those days.

Now I'm a union man

Amazed at what I am

I say what I think, that the company stinks

Yes I'm a union man

When we meet in the local hall

I'll be voting with them all

With a hell of a shout, it's "Out brothers, out!"

And the rise of the factory's fall

Oh, you don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

Until the day I die, until the day I die

As a union man I'm wise

To the lies of the company spies

And I don't get fooled by the factory rules

'Cause I always read between the lines

And I always get my way

If I strike for higher pay

When I show my card to the Scotland Yard

And this is what I say

Oh, oh, you don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

Until the day I die, until the day I die

Before the union did appear

My life was half as clear

Now I've got the power to the working hour

And every other day of the year

So though I'm a working man

I can ruin the government's plan

And though I'm not hard, the sight of my card

Makes me some kind of superman

Oh, oh, oh, you don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

Until the day I die, until the day I die

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

You don't get me, I'm part of the union

Until the day I die, until the day I die

I've found that many Thais can remember my name even though they are brief acquaintances from years ago, or maybe I've never even talked to them but they know of me through 3rd parties etc. Can be a bit alarming at times.

Equally as bizarre is that my wife rarely ever refers to any of her friends or family by name, but will always say my friend from school, or my friend from Chumpon, or Aunty/uncle/sister etc. when it could really be some distant cousin or even just a friend of the family. I know she is just referring to the pi/lung/nong/yai etc,. method of referring to people by their age range.....but when asked the specific name of the relation, she is usually stumped and will say something like "my mum's younger sister's oldest daughter".

Go figure!! Maybe the name recognition only applies to Westerners as somebody else in the thread pointed out.

Sounds more like a misinterpretation ala ' send three and four pence, were going to a dance'

Haven't heard that one for a while...."send reinforcements, we're going to advance."

Well done to all those members quickly realised this was an April Fool's hoax but kept the joke going. Many thanks also to all the serious posters who either don't know about April 1st, or were simply taken in by the OP and had a bit of a rant. Made great reading!!

However, the irony is that on any other day an announcement such as this from a quasi government organisation would be more than believable.

Slightly off topic, but I was stoped by the Police today for "failing to keep left while not overtaking". It was explained to me in pretty good English that my licence would be confiscated, I would have to pay the fine, and then return with a receipt to collect my licence, or collect it at the local police station tomorrow. My buddy said "can we pay now". The cop breathed a sigh of relief and replies "no problem, 200 baht". Currency changed hands, Sa-wat-dee-krups and Kohb-khun-krups all round, and off we go to the golf course. What impressed me the most was that I had a stack of 1,000's in my wallet (rent payment day) that the cop saw when I extracted my licence, but he chose not push for more than the 200. Integrity!!??

This is nothing new in Thailand I guess, but this was a significant event for me as it was my first exposure to direct corruption. In the past I've always got the ticket and had the hassle of paying the fine and tracking down my licence.

It will take 2 or 3 more generations before Thailand will even begin to extract itself from the quagmire of corruption and 3rd world status, not dissimilar to the American Wild west in the latter half of the 19th century. Aspirations of becoming a law-abiding and united country, but plagued by empire building sherrifs, marshalls, judges, governors and senators.....all hell bent on feathering their own nest.

My two penneth's worth.