ebcal

Some say that it is a game or national pastime, but then I would say that those cases refer to a situation among equals, so boys doing it to other boys their own age, or adults with other adults, and in a manner of horsing around. But, this case mentioned by the OP was an adult doing this to a small boy, which makes this significantly different, and it was done in a way that triggered the OP to deem it as inappropriate, so could have been more than just horsing around and could have had some sexual overtones that would make it seem as to not be just horsing around.

So, I think it is irresponsible to brush it off so quickly as just a game, or that you have seen Thai kids do this among themselves, so this was the same. (especially if you are not the one that saw it happening, which can give one a better indication if it was playing around or molesting) And I think it is premature to say do nothing or that it is too late.

You can bet if this was in another country, the responses would probably be different. Or if this happened to the kids of one of the people on here who gave advice, you can be sure their answers would be different.

To those that say he should have done something immediately, or dont think he should ask what to do on TV, then what do you think is so clearly the right course of action that he should have done. Confront the guy? Probably not a good idea and would not resolve anything and could lead to violence. Yes, a video would have been nice, but when something is unfolding before our eyes, we dont always think immediately to take a video of it before it finishes, often we need to process what happened before we can think what we should have done. It is easy to say in hindsight from a posting what he should have done, but much harder to do in reality when you are hit with something in real time.

And yes, do nothing, turn our cheeks and stick our heads in the sand is also a possible course of action. A safe action (or non-action, as the case may be) no doubt, but not one that some people can live with, or something that goes against some people's moral fiber. I do agree that he should be careful and think this through carefully, as jumping to conclusions too fast, either way (they were just playing, or it was molesting) can have negative ramifications. A few points I would make:

1. I dont think it is so easy to know what to do, and certainly not easy to have known what to do in the spur of the moment.

2. I dont see the issue people might have with the OP asking for suggestions on TV. There may be some good suggestions on how to handle this that may be offered.

3. I dont think it is too late to try and still do something about it, if the OP wants to.

Some initial ideas off the top of my head are below, but would need more thinking through, as this is just thinking out loud. And I am sure some other posters may have better ones, or can offer some pros and cons of these ideas:

1. Go back again and observe if this happens again, and be prepared to discreetly record it on video. This is only if you feel strongly enough and are in a position to be able to go back and observe, and of course, assuming this is something you want to do. And once you have it on video, you can let others view this and deem it as inappropriate or not.

2. Report what you saw (without making a judgement whether it was appropriate or not) to school officials, and maybe not even identify the specific individual, just to ask them to keep an eye out, or to give some instruction to the kids on being cautious, or teach them what is not appropriate and what should be reported. Or ask a school official to talk with the child about it in a very careful way. Although I realize the school officials there may not be sensitive or have enough knowledge or experience/training in these matters to handle it.

Just my 2 cents.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have had 2 very good friends. Real friends. I have also had the misfortune to have fallen on hard times a couple times. When I asked to borrow money from 1 of my friends his response was "sure, how much do you need?". He didn't give me a lecture. He didn't ask me what I needed it for. He knew what my character was and he trusted me. A couple years later I was in a position to loan him a few thousand after a business deal went sour. Same same...I said "Sure, how much do you need". He paid me back a few months later.

It's absolute bullshit that you shouldn't loan money to a friend. Maybe some of you haven't had a real friend in your life and you refer to acquaintances.

To the OP, I think maybe you learned these people you thought were friends were not true friends. Although right now, things are very difficult for you, you can come out of this experience a lot wiser and stronger and maybe you will choose your friends a bit more carefully in the future. I wish you the best.

Your opinion has been shaped by positive experiences. That is fine, but please realize others have had their opinions shaped by many negative experiences, i.e. lending to so called trusted friends and never getting paid back. Those are equally valid experiences and opinions. And yes you can challenge them that they did not pick their friends well, or should have known their friends better, etc., but the fact still remains that this is their experience. One question I would ask is if your view would be the same were you to have lent many times to friends who did not pay you back? The response will probably be that you have a good judge of character and would only lend to trustworthy people, but again, this notion is shaped by positive experiences. It can easily be that you thought someone was trustworthy and did not get paid back, which would be an experience that would change your viewpoint.

And we have no way of knowing how good, how close these "friends" were. The OP could have thought they were close / good friends, but that feeling may not have been reciprocated. We have no way of knowing the OP and how he came across to his friends, was he trustworthy, did he show good judgement, etc. I think he mentions being rich before, but wonder if he tried to save any of that money, and mentioned that he borrowed from his family before, so this is not a one-off financial predicament. It suggests a history of bad financial decisions and not investing money wisely when he had it. So, also points to maybe it repeating and not getting the money paid back. And maybe paying the money back is really more of an enabler to keep the bad decisions and poor financial management going. And realize that in this day and age, everyone is hit up for money from friends, strangers, scammers all over, and sometimes that gets tiring and people shut off to it, or it makes it hard to discern the really valid cases that do deserve help.

So, like anything in life, we are all shaped by our experiences, and because those experiences are different, we have different views. And I dont think one view is necessarily wrong. And we should realize that there are more experiences than our own that might lead to different viewpoints. Yes, in absolute terms, it would be nice if we could always could help out friends in need, but unfortunately, it is not that simple. And some may still retort, it is that simple, we should always help out friends. I wont say that is wrong, as I think that is a great view that shows a lot of compassion, but I also understand the other side about feeling reluctant to lend for various other reasons and experiences.

While I think many people would like to help out a very close friend, I would like to point out a few things first for those who say they are not friends, if they dont lend.

1. Due to the numerous scammers, people are a bit leery to lend money. It is a shame that scammers ruin things for those who truly will pay back. But, realize that many people who might be willing to lend have no way of knowing if you are indeed sincere, or just a good actor and scammer. You only look at it from your side, but you need to look at it from the other side as well. Obviously, knowing someone in depth, for a long long period of time might give more insight into the situation of whether someone is a scammer or not, but also realize your idea of a friend, like an occasional drinking buddy may not be other's definition of a close friend that they would lend money too.

2. 99% of people who have money problems likely got that way because they made bad decisions with money and dont manage their money wisely. Yes, there are cases where one uncontrollable event happens that can leave someone without money, but for many, there is a long historical pattern of poor financial management. So, giving a little bit of money will only help them for the minute, and then later they will be in trouble again. The OP mentioned they used to be rich, and having borrowed from family before, which also hints to a history of not managing the money wisely when one had it, and having been in the situation more than once, which lends support that one's financial decisions and money management may be poor. Now, maybe there is also a good reason for this (and every borrower thinks their predicament was not their doing or due to any decision they made) , however, realize that only you know all the details, and friends on the outside looking in may not, so again, it may be a different perspective from the friend's point of view.

3. All of the non-scammers all believe they will pay back, or fully intend to pay the money back, but the poor financial decisions and habits that got them into the situation in the first case dont magically change, so a good percentage of them wont pay be able to pay it back, since they will be in future financial difficulties. All of them think they just need it this one time, then will get back on their feet. Just this once, then I will get back on my feet is a repeating storyline. But, for most, it is a repeating history of financial difficulties due their bad financial management. A loan therefore just helps them get out of one financial quandary, but their poor financial management will soon get them into the next financial problem. And thus in many cases, the loan will often not be paid back. Yes, you can improve on this pct, by trying to assess the borrower's ability to pay back in the future. I have lent money a number of times to good friends in need, and I feel every one of them borrowed with the intent to pay me back, and most all of them have never paid me back. Most all of them have again gotten into another financial bind, after the one I helped them out of.

Now, I generally do not loan out money to friends any more because of having not got paid back so many times. But, I also followed the rule to never lend money that you cant afford to not get back, so lend with the thought that I probably wont get it back, It does get tiring when so many people think since you are a friend, that you can lend them money. OP should know that maybe many of these people he has asked have been hit up many times, not just his request, and maybe not paid back, and maybe some are just tired of it, and dont want to risk not getting paid back.

So, before you judge all those that will not lend you, consider some of these things from their point of view.

The solution is simple - it just takes a few minutes longer. Just go into the bank with your passport & foreign credit/debit card & ask for a cash advance on your credit card. The trick is that the sum being requested must be higher than the ATM's usual maximum advance (THB 20,000?).

The bank does the paperwork, gets the authorisation, copies your passport (which you also sign) and the bank give you the cash. Best thing is that there's no fees! Not a single Baht & you get personalised service as part if the deal

Are you sure getting an advance against your credit card has no hidden fees/other costs? Most cash advances against your credit card start the interest rate charge ticking from day 1, so no grace period to pay off the credit card balance. So, you are borrowing money at the CC interest rate, until you pay it back, with no grace period. And we all know interest rates on CC's are ridiculously high.

So, unless you have something different than the norm, dont think this approach is a good option for most people.

RIP. again another death from Belcony

Slym’s room has no balcony and has a wide window, which can’t be opened, that has views of the Chao Phraya river, and a small window next to it, which can be opened to let in fresh air, Somyot said. Slym may have fallen from the smaller window, he said.

“It would be difficult to force him out of such a small window,” Somyot said.

One article says his room had no balcony. So, only a small window that could be opened to let in some air, that would be difficult to accidentally fall from..

Maybe can also consider pepper spray

Nice to hear, as normally we mostly hear only the negative stuff.

I'm just wondering why anyone would buy a separate MP3 player, when nearly all cell phones have MP3 players. i bought a very basic Nokia dual sim two years ago for less than 1000 baht, and even it has a MP3 player built in. And the quality of the playback seems to rely on the earplugs more than the player, so better get good ones.

Benefits of phone player:

- no need to carry two separate devices (phone and mp3 player) around

- you can actually hear if someone calls you when listening to music because the phone will cut the music

- you can actually use your earplugs as a handsfree for calls also

- the (smart)phone is connected, so can get new music from the net without plugin it in to a computer

Agree on the advantages of having it all in one device, but still one big drawback with smart phones. The biggest reason for me would be battery life. Dedicated MP3 players can support very long playing times, so when on the go or traveling, this is a key concern for me. I want 20-30 hrs on one charge minimum.

Same reason I have an e-ink ebook reader, in an era of color tablets. Ebook readers can last 3-4 weeks on a single charge.

The problem is not only using seat belts, There is a BIG problem of the height of buses. They are top heavy and overturn very easy.

Oh well at least it wasn't a blown tire problem

Agree,and some of these are these newer style double decker buses that are way too tall for their width. These are just begging to tip over. The height to width ratio just looks wrong and are an accident waiting to happen.

To the OP.

You are not paying the caddys salery! You are giving him/her a tip on top of the salery from the golfclub at 300 baht/round. 2 rounds a day in highseason is 30.000 a month, with a couple of days of. So you don't have to feel sorry for them!

Btw. The numbers posted by cpofc in post# 7, are old numbers. It is (or should be) 300 in all provinces now.

30,000 / month for caddies? 2 rounds / day? What course is that at? That is more than many office workers, so I cant believe that is true.

I have not seen that at the courses I have been to. The courses I have been to, they have hundreds of caddies. I often ask them how often they go out and the ones I have asked have all said they go out maybe 3-4 times / week. So, I would say most barely get by and probably struggle to get by.

I would favor the gifts that sustain and help the kids beyond just one time would be good. Like the saying goes about giving fish, or teaching someone to fish.

While a day trip would be fun for one day, afterwards it does not do as much to continue to help them. Gifts like books to help them learn, or shoes to help them get around easier, or getting a poor school or club center a couple of cheap laptops would keep giving long after. Gifts that keep on giving in some way. These are the best in my opinion.

Nimit Kangkajit walks a very tight rope once the "farangs" are identified as "Russians". Not only are they smarter, but also more used to deal illegally and push their business through without much asking.

Maybe it is time that Thailand looks towards 21st century; this might help to understand, why Bali, Cambodia, the Philippines and even Malaysia has considerably higher tourism revenue.

Somsak skinning tourists alive upon arrival at Phuket, Don Mouieauiong or Swampi will have to look for a new job/victims anyhow. I, for one, work here but would not spend my hard-earned vacation here (anymore).

I do not subscribe to illegal activities but Thais need to realize that they are not the centre of the universe. If "illegal" travel agents illeglally are in thriving (legal) business then there is a loud message in red ink on the wall of Thailand!

Bali, Cambodia, Philippines, higher tourism revenue than Thailand? Where do you see those numbers? The articles I have seen show something different. One says Thailand is #1 is SE Asia in terms of tourism revenue, although Malaysia was #1 in # of tourists. But, that was a bit old in 2007.

ANother more recent one which only shows # of tourists in 2011 and 2012, Malaysia was only a little higher than Thailand, and Thailand's year on year increase was over 16%, where Malaysia only increased 1.3%, so if that trend holds, Thailand could very well surpass Malaysia in a year or two in # of tourists and may already be more in revenue, if 2007 data still holds where amount spent per tourists was higher in Thailand than Malaysia.

In any case, Bali, Cambodia, Philippines are much lower and not higher than Thailand.

Malaysia

Malaysia is the top tourist destination in southeast Asia. About 21 million foreign visitors spent $14 billion in Malaysia in 2007. West Malaysia, which is part of the Asian mainland, includes the capital and is more economically developed. East Malaysia encompasses the northern third of the island of Borneo and includes more-secluded resort areas.

Thailand

Thailand has the second largest tourism industry in southeast Asia. About 14.5 million foreign visitors spent $15.6 billion in Thailand in 2007. Major attractions include world-class diving and watersports, archeological and religious sites, and diverse tropical flora and fauna.

Singapore

Singapore has the third largest tourism industry in southeast Asia. About 8 million foreign visitors spent $8.7 billion in Singapore in 2007. Much of the attraction is because of the dominance of English usage and the cultural diversity of Chinese, Malay, Indian, Arabic and British influences.

Indonesia

About 5.5 million foreign visitors spent $5.3 billion in Indonesia in 2007. The primary attractions are beach resorts and hotels in secluded island settings, and cultural tourism rooted in both Hindu and Islamic traditions.

Vietnam

About 4.2 million foreign visitors spent $3.5 billion in Vietnam in 2007. Tourism in Vietnam is dominated by visitors to the resorts and hotels near its capital, Hanoi, and its largest city, Ho Chi Minh City.

Philippines

About 3 million foreign visitors spent $4.9 billion in the Philippines in 2007. The culture of the Philippines has been greatly influenced by Spanish and American colonialism, contributing to its popularity with Western tourists.

We often see that most people extend their values as absolutes and that others should have the same values. Many do not think it is worth risking one’s life for, so will say don’t get involved. That is certainly a valid point of view and probably one that most would agree with, however I think we have to be careful not to think that our values are universal and that everyone should act or not act with the same values.

One should indeed assess whether losing one’s life was worth risking to save the girl. Hats off who still feel compelled to help someone and not stand by watching someone helplessly being beaten to death, knowing the risks. But, I can certainly understand those that did not want to risk it too.

We should be careful not to project our values and personal choices as something universal that applies to all. It is a personal choice where there is not necessarily an absolute right or wrong. Of course, on discussion boards, nobody thinks this way and will always say the guy is stupid, rather than only saying, it would not be worth the risk for me. The OP said he would do it again. Some may consider it stupid for themselves and even for others, but only the OP can judge and say what is right for him.

JMHO.

And I see many Monday night quarterbacks who can easily spew out what the OP should have done better or should not have done. It is easy to sit here, read the story calmly, and pick out facts from the story and be able to then point out things done wrong from behind the keyboard, after the fact, probably while casually sipping a drink. It is another thing to be able to stay calm, amidst an atmosphere of adrenaline pumping, bottles flying, people shouting or attacking, and pure chaos. Most can only react more instinctively (unless they have trained themselves beforehand and thought about best approaches beforehand) So, the OP did not have the benefit to think out the smartest, and most logical action, calmly from behind a keyboard, but had to react on instinct during pure chaotic situation. However, that said, there is some good advice from a few posters to think about for the future, about staying calm, about trying to defuse the situation. Something to keep in mind in the future for the OP and others. I am sure the OP will use the situation as a learning experience of what he could have done better.

I cant say I fully agree with the the statement one made “And you can trust that the thugs don't just act for no reason.” I would say there are certainly many cases where it is almost the opposite, often thugs commit violence for little reason, or for reasons that certainly don’t justify the violence. You see it in the news all the time about someone getting angry over seemingly nothing or certainly nothing that would warrant such violence. Someone looked at another the wrong way, a friend talked to other people he did not like, someone accidentally bumped into someone, someone disrespected another in their eyes, or said something negative about another. Especially in Thailand, you read stories all the time about killings over seemingly nothing and how little it seems a life is worth in Thailand. And in this situation, we don’t really know at all what the girl did, so it is presumptuous to assume what she did warranted the attack or not.

That said, it is good for all of us to think about such a situation, what we would do, or better yet, what we should do, with a little forethought.

Like all threads on TV, some purely insensitive and not so good responses. But, hopefully most posters are able to sift through the rubbish and have a thick skin to ignore the flippant, insulting ones, and find the worthwhile feedback.

1. Regardless of %'s of those that actually follow through with suicide, would you feel guilty, if she was one of the few cases that did follow through and you did not do anything? Yes, she may not be serious, but unless you know for sure 100%, which you cant, then you should take it seriously. So, nice to know the %'s may favor that she would not follow through, but dont use those statistics as a reason to not take it seriously. Even if she is the one that has mentioned it before and not followed through, you never know if this one time might be the one time she does.

2. Those that say she should not consider the Monk option have a valid point in terms of diagnosing or finding a medical cure, but they also miss the point that it could help some. If she is Buddhist, then visiting or spending some time in a temple, talking to a Monk could help alleviate some of the stress, feelings of despair. I agree it would not serve to diagnose or cure her, but it could help improve her mental outlook, reduce stress, so these are things that could still help her situation. But, yes, only if she is Buddhist and believes in that, and IF she is logical and can carry on logical discussions with a Monk. If she is irrational, then conversations would likely not help. I have known Thai people at wits end or having trouble dealing with problems who visited the temple and talked to a monk and it helped them, though did not cure them from all their ills. But, maybe still something to consider in conjunction with visiting a doctor.

3. Seeing a doctor or contacting a clinic or hotline that can direct you or provide resources to help is obviously a good move. And those who say visit Psychologist, not Psychiatrist, not so sure you should restrict that. If it is a biological depression and not due to more to external events, then a Psychologist cannot prescribe medication, so seeing a Psychiatrist has that difference. To those who said you giving/slipping her drugs on your own is really a bad move, they are absolutely right. You are not a doctor, so no way you should give her any meds. And you would not want to be in a situation where some meds caused some wild behavior and were judged as playing a reason in her death, leading back to you slipping it in her food or giving it to her.

4. Should be left for a doctor to prescribe, but I think that making sure she gets good regular sleep, eats regularly and balanced regarding blood sugars, exercise regularly can all help some in stabilizing things that can exacerbate her condition. I am not a doctor, but have had experience with several people with mental illness or problems and have gone with friends who visited both Psychologist and Psychiatrists.

5. Notifying friends and family is also a good idea. With more people being aware, maybe others can help be a support network to help her and be more understanding of the situation. Things that can lower stress, provide more support are helpful, although are not the cure. But, it is likely that not one single thing will be the cure, so putting several things into action is probably beneficial. Having a support network of family and friends can help in this regard. And understanding the situation better could make it easier for you. Otherwise, if your GF were to really follow through with suicide, then maybe her friends and family would blame you for pushing her over the edge, or causing her to commits suicide. If they understand the situation better, then this would be less likely.

6. For those callously telling you to change your number or dump her immediately, remember they have no understanding of your feelings to her, so make the statement without any understanding from that view point. I would say they have a valid point, in that life with someone who is not always mentally stable can be difficult. However, ONLY you can judge how much you care for her, how much you love her, how much you will do for her, and whether you want to stay together with all this. So, do take notice that staying together with someone like that may not be easy, but only you can decide what you can tolerate and how far you will go and whether it is worth staying together with. And if you do decide to leave, try to do at least do it a time where she is in a better place with regards to other issues. And if you do decide to stay, then wish you patience, tolerance, love and good luck.

I still use old-fashioned Baygon. Some roaches keep running after one load. I‘ll let them run. All of them die, it just takes longer for some.When emptying half a can you should consider that these pesticides are also dangerous to humans (especially those not grown up yet) and pets.Sent from my LG-P698f using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I understand your concern for the health of children, but I doubt if harmful to humans those insecticides would be allowed to be sold worldwide. Regarding the roach, I know they don't die instantly but normally they move at a slow pace and the first obstruction they meet they will turn on their back, but this one was a racer where Michael Johnson would have been jealous about.

"but I doubt if harmful to humans those insecticides would be allowed to be sold worldwide." With all due respect, I think that is putting a lot of blind trust in others for your safety. History is littered with so many cases of products, services that were released, sold to the public and thought to be safe and where people took it for granted it was safe, and it later turned out not to be. Insecticide especially is toxic, by the very nature that it is intended to kill something living. And just because it is sold widely does not mean that it is safe to spray with little concern all around the house. I would not trust in any country, but especially Thailand. Maybe diverting the subject a tad, but in Thailand, one has really alter their thinking greatly. Coming from other countries that have better safety standards, less corruption, many of us take for granted that services, products, places, just living, that there will be some level of safety and we put a level of trust in that and dont think about safety. e.g. we dont think twice when eating food bought from the supermarket or restaurant, or using an appliance without getting electrocuted, or dont look both ways, when starting out from a green light, as we assume those that have the red will stop, and countless other everyday acts that we do without thinking, that implicitly assume some level of trust and lack of concern for our own safety and well being. But, in countries like Thailand, there really has to be a mindset that there is less regulation or enforcement of regulations, more corruption, and that leads to a less safe environment and therefore it behooves us to take a more active role in guarding our own safety. One only has to read Thai Visa for awhile and you will see case after case of things to watch out for. e.g. we should drive much more defensively in Thailand, since greater chance other drivers will not follow the rules. Or we should be much more careful in products we buy or use, or not assume that a service will be of a certain standard, and not assume they will be safe. Of course, there are many things one cant guard against, no matter how careful we are, but there still should be a mind shift towards taking more responsibility for one's own safety and well being in everyday life in Thailand. One really has to be more diligent and change one's mindset, than if one were in some other countries, where we have learned to take a lot of personal safety for granted. JMHO.

And your opinion please about cockroachsafety in thailand ? Pffffff

How about the roach motel? They check in, but they dont check out... Ok, never tried it, but that was the line from the old commercial.

Suan Lum market closed? When did it close? Have not been there in awhile, so did not realize it closed. Also, remember it had a nice big eating / drinking area with live music.

I am not saying it was fake or not, but I do think the Russian's lack of reaction seems unnatural.

One could say he totally froze up of course and that his reactions were in line with this behavior. On the other hand, he does not even flinch, when the guy was slapping him. Even if one was being submissive and scared to death, one might cower at such blows, or one turn the head away slightly when being struck. or maybe raise your hands to protect your face, when someone is swinging at you. It is human instinct to flinch at least a little bit. And when I say raise the hands, I mean in a defensive manner to protect the face. Who knows, the guy could have hit him with the pistol or fist and really knocked him out. One would think it would be normal to flinch or turn one's head away or raise one's hands. That is human instinct to do so.

So, yes, one could say he froze up, but I found it odd that he did not flinch at all. That took a lot of conscious thought in my mind, for him to override natural human instinct to flinch.

Also, he did not even speak. When being asked ok, ok? Wonder why he did not nod in agreement, or say ok, to help defuse the situation a bit. I would say staying silent made the guy get more angry.

If one were not going to get angry or fight back, then I think the other natural response would be to acquiesce, say ok or nod in agreement, maybe even say I did not know, or I am sorry, or it wont happen again, or some words to try and defuse or de-escalate the anger. I guess again, one could use the froze up explanation and say he could not move and could not speak a word. But, again, it did not appear to me to be the most natural behavior in that situation. And took more conscious thought and decision to not speak, rather than to nod or say ok.

Not saying it was fake or real, just stating an observation that some behavior seemed unnatural and took more conscious thought and decision to not talk and not flinch and override more basic human instinct to at least flinch. However, there are always exceptions to nature and not everyone's behavior follows the norm.

The best thing to do in that situation if you're not going to defend is to just sit there and take it.

The guy did the absolute smartest thing possible. Flinching, showing fear, cowering, crying, arguing, trying to be logical would just encourage the Thai guy and extend the abuse.

Really really surprised at the amount of people thinking this is fake. I'm guessing most of you have never been in a true situation similar to this. I've had guns pointed at me as well. Real guns. Staying calm is the absolute best thing for you if you're not going to play an offensive defense.

"Flinching, showing fear, cowering, crying, arguing, trying to be logical would just encourage the Thai guy and extend the abuse."

I dont know that this would hold true in every case. Sometimes no response would encourage, outrage the attacker more, and escalate their behavior. They would escalate their actions to elicit a response. Sometimes agreeing to whatever said, or at least nodding or saying ok, when being asked repeatedly ok? ok? would be a smarter move, rather than refusing to answer the question and potentially get the attacker more enraged.

In this case, his not speaking worked out, but that does not mean it was the best response on average for this situation. I think many cases, nodding or saying ok would be a better response than refusing to answer a question and refusing to respond.

I am not saying it was fake or not, but I do think the Russian's lack of reaction seems unnatural.

One could say he totally froze up of course and that his reactions were in line with this behavior. On the other hand, he does not even flinch, when the guy was slapping him. Even if one was being submissive and scared to death, one might cower at such blows, or one turn the head away slightly when being struck. or maybe raise your hands to protect your face, when someone is swinging at you. It is human instinct to flinch at least a little bit. And when I say raise the hands, I mean in a defensive manner to protect the face. Who knows, the guy could have hit him with the pistol or fist and really knocked him out. One would think it would be normal to flinch or turn one's head away or raise one's hands. That is human instinct to do so.

So, yes, one could say he froze up, but I found it odd that he did not flinch at all. That took a lot of conscious thought in my mind, for him to override natural human instinct to flinch.

Also, he did not even speak. When being asked ok, ok? Wonder why he did not nod in agreement, or say ok, to help defuse the situation a bit. I would say staying silent made the guy get more angry.

If one were not going to get angry or fight back, then I think the other natural response would be to acquiesce, say ok or nod in agreement, maybe even say I did not know, or I am sorry, or it wont happen again, or some words to try and defuse or de-escalate the anger. I guess again, one could use the froze up explanation and say he could not move and could not speak a word. But, again, it did not appear to me to be the most natural behavior in that situation. And took more conscious thought and decision to not speak, rather than to nod or say ok.

Not saying it was fake or real, just stating an observation that some behavior seemed unnatural and took more conscious thought and decision to not talk and not flinch and override more basic human instinct to at least flinch. However, there are always exceptions to nature and not everyone's behavior follows the norm.

Check the new Sony Xperia ZR. It is supposedly waterproof and can even take photos under water, and submerged up to 1.5 meters for 30 min. Should be available soon, if not already.

Also, Kyocera recently announced the Hydro Edge, which is supposed to also be waterproof.

A few tweaks will extend the money.......?? What are those tweaks?

Those tweaks are either increase the age you can claim full retirement benefits and/or reduce the benefits. There are not many choices when the amount being paid out exceeds the amount coming in.

So, if you are counting on SS as a main pillar and you are suddenly not able to claim as much as you planned on at a certain age and have to wait more years or get a reduced benefit, then it is probably wise not to rely on SS as being a main component of your retirement portfolio. Would be better to plan it in as a minor part of the portfolio, that one can still get by, were SS to be reduced or even not exist, although I know not all people may have that luxury to do this.

But, for those that do have the luxury, I think it would be prudent not to make SS a "main" pillar of the portfolio.

I echo the many remarks on diversification and think it is pretty common sense to diversify at several levels in terms of asset classes and economies/countries as well to lower risk. However, in diversifying the asset class, I would not be so quick to write off annuities. Yes, there are many bad annuity products out there,
and yes, they have their drawbacks, but also they have their advantages and may make sense for some people as one part of their retirement portfolio.

I think the many bad annuity products out there probably have given the better annuity products a worse rap than they deserve. Yes,
annuities may not have a great return compared to stocks, and yes, may not be as attractive in a period of low interest rates, and do lock up all your
capital and most annuity products are fixed, so wont adjust for inflation. That said, think there are still some cases
where it may make sense for some people, depending on their situation, risk tolerance, investment savvy.

I have seen studies mentioned that have shown that a portfolio of single premium annuities and stocks outperforms a portfolio with only

stocks/bonds and no annuities. So, the portfolio with the combined annuity and stocks had a higher percentage that it did not run out of money as compared to a portfolio of only stocks and bonds. So, while many financial advisors may steer clear of all annuities, some financial advisors will recommend annuities as one
part of your retirement portfolio, e.g. maybe use annuities to cover most of your fixed monthly expenses, and then other investments for all the rest.

The common answer most people give about annuities is that they are a rip off, high expenses, no liquidity, no inflation hedge and they can invest themselves and earn more than annuities. As stated, I think the many bad annuity products out there probably give the better annuities a worse rap than they may fully deserve. However, agree that in
most cases, people are probably right that they can earn a better return than most annuity products, usually through stocks, bonds or mutual funds.

However, those statements that people can do better than annuities also do not account for a few points: which is the risk of losing a big chunk of capital, were there to be a big financial crisis, ala 2008. And the guaranteed return for a lifetime, so hedging longevity risk. With investing yourself in stocks/bonds, a big market drop could cause a big
reduction in your monthly income from these investments, so an annuity hedges against this risk. Can you live with that risk or is that income stream needed to
live on for basic living expenses. Also, payments are guaranteed for life, so you wont outlive the income stream. And the statement that you
can do better than annuities also assumes all people can be investment savvy enough to invest (unless you say just get an investment advisor) and get better
returns and are willing to monitor the investments regularly, rather than a one time purchase and forget of many annuities. So, a statement that
annuities are bad for all, may be too wide a statement and may not hold true for all people.

Yes, annuities have the risk that the annuity company can go under, so picking a solid company is important and make sure it is covered by

state insurance, in case it were to go under, and the amount you have under each company then also becomes important, similar to FDIC. And this risk
is probably much lower than a stock dropping or a company cutting its dividend.

So, I would not be so quick to rule out any annuity as one part of a retirement portfolio for all people. I think there are still some
people where an annuity product may make sense as one part of the retirement portfolio. And of course, pensions and SS
are annuities, (although pensions can be lump sum too) so could be people already have an annuity as part of their retirement portfolio, rather than having to purchase one.

And we should not count on SS as a major pillar. We have now started paying out more than we are paying into SS, so the time we will run out of SS money keeps moving earlier. So, likely we will have to move the retirement age later and/or reduce the benefit. Either way, SS should not be relied upon.

I think you probably have had some talks, since you mention your wife has said it is ok to have flings with other women, as long as she does not find out.

But, still surprised nobody said to first sit down and have a heart to heart with your wife that you are not happy. Maybe others assumed you have done this. If that does nothing, then maybe another talk that you are very unhappy and are considering divorce. Sometimes people dont wake up or appreciate until they have lost or are faced with losing the person. Maybe in your case, stating you are thinking of divorce would do nothing, but at least talk all options.

Have you discussed with her that you would like more romance? Have you tried to be romantic? And dont mean just making advances that you want a romp in the sack, but in other ways, like some things you did when you first met. Dinner dates, etc. Maybe you have tried and she just doesnt appreciate those things any more. And there is also marriage counseling that could be considered.

If all these fail, then I would say to consider whether you want to stay in the relationship or not.