Kangawallafox

Sorry if I sound critical but it's not hard to be critical of a poor choice when other options were available.

Not everyone will agree with me, I accept that, however not everyone will agree with the rosy picture of rising out of the gutter through the wonderful world of bar work that you painted in your post.

The time in the bar could have been dramatically shortened, if the money went on education, something that an intelligent person as you described would have done well to do rather then suffer the unhappy bar life she did not like for over a decade.

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Just curious, you say a family took her in and she gave birth to one of them, she later through bar work gave her family everything.

Where exactly were the family who she is supporting when the other family took her in.

And where exactly did you meet this woman, you say say who would employ an uneducated mother who is not married, uneducated is a problem true, however mothers and un married people can work, although the education is a problem.

Rather then work for ten years, massive amount of time, why didn't she work for a few years and educate herself and get out of the business in a hurry.

Obviously for someone that hated it she did not choose the best options to get out of it sooner, an education would have set her up to for when she became to old old to sell herself, if you never came along she would be ill prepared for life after bar work.

A few years in a bar and it could of paid for schooling but no, she did not take that route, strange considering she hated the job.

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You wrote, "No disrespect, can I ask is anyone here married to or dating a current or former bargirl."

You post above is oozing with disrespect and condemnation. I wouldn't wonder if no one will ever answer you again.

Don't you know enough not to criticize a mans wife? Didn't your momma tell you that?

Not criticizing the wife, just pointing out that certain options could have lessened her time in an industry she disliked.

We all make poor choices, but the time could have been less if it was done.

And I do condemn the industry, what do you want me to do, praise the choice to work in it for over a decade rather then use it to educate herself with the bar money and get out.

If you hat the work your doing, it seems to me that would be the obvious choice surely to Christ.

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You wrote, "Not criticizing the wife,"

Yet you wrote, 1. "why didn't she work for a few years and educate herself and get out of the business in a hurry."

2. "Obviously for someone that hated it she did not choose the best options to get out of it sooner."

3. "A few years in a bar and it could of paid for schooling but no, she did not take that route, strange considering she hated the job."

Do you really not know how obnoxious you are?

It's not at all obnoxious, your talking about over a decade in a job that she hated, and I have no doubt she did hate it.

However the options are there over such a long period to use the money to get out much much sooner, not obnoxious, a fact.

I'm willing to listen, just explain why she did not use the money to educate herself and get out in half a decade rather then stay in for over a decade, if I hated my job that would be an obvious choice.

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Kangabollox have you ever been with a BarGirl?

I would rather stay single for a lifetime, my personal choice.

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No disrespect, can I ask is anyone here married to or dating a current or former bargirl. You may have interesting insight into the matter. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Yeah Kanga, I've been married to an ex GOGO girl for 5 years. Best wife I've ever had.

Her family were dirt poor, not from Isan, 2 generations born in a tin shed in a squalid soi behind a temple in Ratchaburi.

Family survived by collecting plastic, paper, glass.

Raped when 12 yo by local scum, left school and home at 13 because of emotional probs from rape, gave birth to first child at 14 to boy whose family took her in, he became meth addict.

At age 18 after years of struggle she was approached to go to work in Singapore ( 4 Floors ) Life finally improved ! After 3 years bought first house. Her 10 years of work before I met her improved the life of her whole family.

This is a true story, I have met all of the people in her story, she has photos to back her story, I have spent Songkrans with the relatives still living in the tin shed.

She had no other options. Who would employ an unmarried, uneducated mother of 2? no one. No social security in this country!

Having said all of that, my wife is a beautiful and intelligent woman, how else would she have managed to seperate so much cash from so many tight arsed farang over so many years.

Her only motivation was to care for her kids and give them a better life, which she has done.

I respect her and everything she has achieved and I'm happy to support her and the kids (we now have 4) we have a genuine and loving relationship based on honesty and earned trust.

To each his own, but to any who may choose to denigrate the people who choose to work in the sex industry, I say, who are you to talk, till you've walked in their shoes.

And to all you flaming, nit picking, holier than thou wowser types out there, this is my life and I'm happy with it so post away, your opinions mean didly to me!

Just curious, you say a family took her in and she gave birth to one of them, she later through bar work gave her family everything.

Where exactly were the family who she is supporting when the other family took her in.

And where exactly did you meet this woman, you say say who would employ an uneducated mother who is not married, uneducated is a problem true, however mothers and un married people can work, although the education is a problem.

Rather then work for ten years, massive amount of time, why didn't she work for a few years and educate herself and get out of the business in a hurry.

Obviously for someone that hated it she did not choose the best options to get out of it sooner, an education would have set her up to for when she became to old old to sell herself, if you never came along she would be ill prepared for life after bar work.

A few years in a bar and it could of paid for schooling but no, she did not take that route, strange considering she hated the job.

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You wrote, "No disrespect, can I ask is anyone here married to or dating a current or former bargirl."

You post above is oozing with disrespect and condemnation. I wouldn't wonder if no one will ever answer you again.

Don't you know enough not to criticize a mans wife? Didn't your momma tell you that?

Not criticizing the wife, just pointing out that certain options could have lessened her time in an industry she disliked.

We all make poor choices, but the time could have been less if it was done.

And I do condemn the industry, what do you want me to do, praise the choice to work in it for over a decade rather then use it to educate herself with the bar money and get out.

If you hat the work your doing, it seems to me that would be the obvious choice surely to Christ.

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Posting from oz right now, lived in bkk once upon a time but preferred it in Australia.

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A million baht, hahaha I love it.

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Oh dear, what tangled webs we weave.

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No disrespect, can I ask is anyone here married to or dating a current or former bargirl. You may have interesting insight into the matter. Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

Yeah Kanga, I've been married to an ex GOGO girl for 5 years. Best wife I've ever had.

Her family were dirt poor, not from Isan, 2 generations born in a tin shed in a squalid soi behind a temple in Ratchaburi.

Family survived by collecting plastic, paper, glass.

Raped when 12 yo by local scum, left school and home at 13 because of emotional probs from rape, gave birth to first child at 14 to boy whose family took her in, he became meth addict.

At age 18 after years of struggle she was approached to go to work in Singapore ( 4 Floors ) Life finally improved ! After 3 years bought first house. Her 10 years of work before I met her improved the life of her whole family.

This is a true story, I have met all of the people in her story, she has photos to back her story, I have spent Songkrans with the relatives still living in the tin shed.

She had no other options. Who would employ an unmarried, uneducated mother of 2? no one. No social security in this country!

Having said all of that, my wife is a beautiful and intelligent woman, how else would she have managed to seperate so much cash from so many tight arsed farang over so many years.

Her only motivation was to care for her kids and give them a better life, which she has done.

I respect her and everything she has achieved and I'm happy to support her and the kids (we now have 4) we have a genuine and loving relationship based on honesty and earned trust.

To each his own, but to any who may choose to denigrate the people who choose to work in the sex industry, I say, who are you to talk, till you've walked in their shoes.

And to all you flaming, nit picking, holier than thou wowser types out there, this is my life and I'm happy with it so post away, your opinions mean didly to me!

Just curious, you say a family took her in and she gave birth to one of them, she later through bar work gave her family everything.

Where exactly were the family who she is supporting when the other family took her in.

And where exactly did you meet this woman, you say say who would employ an uneducated mother who is not married, uneducated is a problem true, however mothers and un married people can work, although the education is a problem.

Rather then work for ten years, massive amount of time, why didn't she work for a few years and educate herself and get out of the business in a hurry.

Obviously for someone that hated it she did not choose the best options to get out of it sooner, an education would have set her up to for when she became to old old to sell herself, if you never came along she would be ill prepared for life after bar work.

A few years in a bar and it could of paid for schooling but no, she did not take that route, strange considering she hated the job.

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No disrespect, can I ask is anyone here married to or dating a current or former bargirl.

You may have interesting insight into the matter.

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Interesting points, however if bar work did not exist they would not starve would they.

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You also talk about western perspective, the average thai woman is strongly against bar work and the shadow it casts on good thai woman.

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Well, I'm not an expert on it at all, but I imagine that a lot of them are working partially to support family back home. And I think when you talk about choice you're looking at it from a western perspective, rather than a Thai cultural one, where I think the sense of duty and pressure of being a good child to your family and support them can be a lot of stronger.

Like I say, I'm not an expert and might well be wrong but I don't think viewing from a western perspective is going to be that illuminating.

edited for spelling

Many of my thai friends got me thinking about this also in the past.

I used to say bar girls don't have a choice, they would say bs, they choose it, plenty of work around.

I don't think my friends and wife have a western perspective, they are thai, ask some thai people tomorrow and I think you well get the same answer.

No mother with any morals would want their daughter to do this, sure they would sooner see them paid less in a legal and legit job.

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So swap : hanging out with your mates, getting drunk, staying up all night, flashing lights, money, main goal is to get pulled, listening to pop music,

For clocking-in, officious man telling you to make more radios or whatever, up early, no or little holidays..

I think they all have a choice, and its not a difficult one..

I think once they get accustomed to bar-life they rather enjoy it, and who can blame them?

Each to his own, if I was a woman I would work seven days a week sixteen hours a day before I even contemplated the bar work.

Self respect is important.

I could never sleep with a bar girl knowing she is watching the clock, knowing I'm just a dollar sign, just a customer.

I could never date a girl who sold out to that point for money, knowing she had thousands of men, trust would be difficult to as hustling becomes ingrained in them after a while.

If a man can take it fine, not for me I would rather go without then get involved with one.

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Supply & demand:

If all bar girls went to work in factories then they'd be guys waving silly money in their faces.

I have no problem with it, personal choice.

I just don't feel they have to do it like some people think, they choose to despite having other options, they have that right but it's a choice.

It's not about right or wrong this thread, it's about choice, I don't believe they have no choice and have to do it, they do it because they want to.

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So your spouse previously had a Thai male partner who it was okay, with her olds, to live in a defacto relationship with? With all due respect, were not straying from the topic, are we?

The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

Many families give back part (often most) of the sin sot to the couple after the ceremony.

Many just want to see their daughter happily settled down and well supported, don't look for anything for themselves.

I always give a fixed allowance to the SO that includes money that she can choose to send home every month or not. I also set aside secretly a monthly amount into a contingency fund that I budget for family emergencies. If there none after a period of time, that's a source for randomly-timed gifts when things are going well.

Works for me. As long as you've removed her from the family in setting up your own (which is what the sin sot is paying for) then if there's any major problems from them you just cut them off. I've never had an SO side with her family against me, if you get that you've definitely screwed up somewhere along the way, most likely in your choice of mate in the first place, time to cut your losses and walk away.

True, my sin sod sot was returned, and I was given a gold Buddha by her father that was worth more then her ring.

Honestly glad it was returned as I don't have a lot of cash,lol.

The gold Buddha was a beautiful gesture and means a lot.

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Are you asking me,did my wife live with a thai man.

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The only reason that they want you married is to extract a dowry from the naive.

Many families give back part (often most) of the sin sot to the couple after the ceremony.

Many just want to see their daughter happily settled down and well supported, don't look for anything for themselves.

I always give a fixed allowance to the SO that includes money that she can choose to send home every month or not. I also set aside secretly a monthly amount into a contingency fund that I budget for family emergencies. If there none after a period of time, that's a source for randomly-timed gifts when things are going well.

Works for me. As long as you've removed her from the family in setting up your own (which is what the sin sot is paying for) then if there's any major problems from them you just cut them off. I've never had an SO side with her family against me, if you get that you've definitely screwed up somewhere along the way, most likely in your choice of mate in the first place, time to cut your losses and walk away.

True, my sin sod sot was returned, and I was given a gold Buddha by her father that was worth more then her ring.

Honestly glad it was returned as I don't have a lot of cash,lol.

The gold Buddha was a beautiful gesture and means a lot.

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Thai women go on ladyinter.

They are very polite to each other.

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Wow, this is hilarious.

After telling all that the thread is not aimed at anyone in particular, and certainly not aimed at all, and urging people not to take it personally, don't take it like it's aimed at you.

Almost half have acted and responded as though I started the thread with them in mind.

Now another half will wrongly think they are the half I just mentioned.

On another note guys, being a newbie on tv does not make one a newbie in Thailand, there is life beyond tv.

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My point is "who cares, lighten up you'll live longer".

Some people are hater idjits, let them be what they are.

Others are simply using shorthand over-generalizations to make their point, if you read between the lines (necessary in a non-free-speech medium) and cut them some slack you can get the gist of their meaning - and often learn something.

To be truly fair and accurate in every post would be very tedious to write - and read.

The point of this forum is to entertain as well as educate - and of course sell advertising space.

Your so damn write, however I don't see it happening, I see most people studying posts for a chance to bite either thai people, tv members private lives, or each other in an attempt to feel better then others, it's a problem.

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All I see from your examples is people talking about their personal experiences, not making generalisations about all Thai people. Sharing personal experiences is a good thing. Some people have good experiences and others bad. Would you prefer people lied and pretended that everything was rosy? Or just suffered in silence? Sharing bad experiences allows people to get things off their chest and helps others be more aware of the pitfalls in living here. If it upsets you so much, just don't come here.

If it was their personal experiences they are sharing they would not write thai people, they would write thai person.

You never really read the examples did you, be honest you just scrolled through them didn't you, then typed something about personal experiences, they were not even talking about experiences.

You really are not even sure what's going on here are you.

If I'm upsetting you boss, how about you don't come here, take your own arrogant advice.

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Another little case study, this time featuring me as the guilty party:

I'm sitting here shaking my head at the guys who are advising against trusting a Thai wife to make a decision that involves less than 10,000 baht. Yet these are the same women who will some day be making decisions about your life and responsible for your care when you're diagnosed with cancer, disabled by a stroke, dementia, etc. Do you trust them to manage your finances, maintain your visa, run your household, obtain the best medical care possible for you? Ever thought about the responsibility the little woman will have to assume on your behalf guys? Especially if there's a big age difference between you and your Thai wife?

The day I need to depend on a Thai to run my life - just put me down, please. Big difference between choosing a bed mate and an elder caretaker. Choose the right professional to suit the job.

In this case I should have written "the kind of Thai girl I'd choose as a SO"Someone could interpret what I wrote to mean all Thais are not trustworthy, but I'd hope from the context an intelligent reader would get the gist.

Think about it seriously for a moment, think about all the non thai people you know.

They do exactly the same stuff as thai people, exactly, all they do is talk about money and things however because they are not thai it's not noticed.

In every way there are good and bad in thai and farang, all individuals yet all people in that they are no different then us.

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