sylvafern

Superior ART in Ploenchit (affiliated with Sydney IVF) do not discriminate against singles, lesbian couples, etc. They will work Western and Thai clients based in both Bangkok and overseas. They work with both Thai and overseas sperm banks as well as known donors. Note that Thai sperm banks do not provide information about the donor except height, blood type and skin tone (this info is from 2 years ago so may have changed). Overseas donors provide more information this including full medical history and the right of the child to find out who their biological father is at aged 18.

Superior ART do all types of treatments including IUI, IVF, FET, etc. They can also do fertility testing including AMH and so on to check everything is ok before starting treatment. I would suggest anyone wishing to become a SMBC (single mother by choice) spend time researching methods and getting an idea of what direction they want to take. The choicemoms website is helpful to many as well as the single moms trying to conceive thread on fertilitycommunity website. If you are in Bangkok, make an appointment with one of the doctors (they speak English fluently) and ask all the questions you have. They can provide information about cost which is no where as expensive as an earlier poster wrote.

There are other places that will consider working with single women but your case will have to go before an ethics committee for approval.

PM me if you have a question but I'm not on here very often so may not see the message for awhile. Bit busy being a SMBC to 5 month old twins + a 7 year old from when I was in a relationship!

Thanks for all the replies .... just a quick update and for anyone else who finds themselves in this situation. The visa staff at my school said that they would take me to immigration last Tuesday to put my mind at rest that the babies did not need visas for Thailand. I decided not to go as, from all the information here, I was clear on my understanding of the situation so would have been a pointless trip. I'd decided I'd just have to try and find the time to get their Thai citizenship (perhaps not that difficult as someone said, but difficult to find the time to do when you have twin babies!). However, the visa staff still asked when they went to immigration on Tuesday and - lo and behold - I was right and they were wrong. My school should have provided me with the paper work to apply for their non-immigrant O visas while in New Zealand!

I got a phone call from the head of HR on Wednesday telling me that I had to take the babies to immigration on Thursday afternoon (and it could only be then, no flexibility with the time) so that they could get their visas. I didn't ask too many questions so all I know is that one of our visa ladies had to go and get some paper work at the New Zealand embassy and that it had to be translated into Thai (possibly also their birth certificates as I had to provide originals) then I had to go to immigration on Chaeng Wattana, show the babies to one of the immigration staff without having to wait in queue (thank goodness as there were 100s of people there) and then I left with the babies and my school's visa ladies waited with their passports and the paper work to get the visa. So now they are here legally and not as over stayers. No idea how they managed to wangle it as would have thought we'd have to leave the country to get the correct visa.

Thanks Jim - I hadn't thought about having a record in the computer as overstays.

Funny how most people assumed I am a he (and have a Thai wife!). Richard W is right - I'm the mother and I'm New Zealand and the father is Thai (either a good guess of you know me in real life!). I haven't got as far as investigating getting the babies Thai citizenship as I imagine it could be a bit of a hassle and, with 3 month twins, I don't have time in my life right now for extra hassles! Tommo - mother and father don't need to be married for a child to be acknowledged as Thai - I'm not married and my 7 year old who was born in Thailand got his Thai citizenship and passport with no problems at all (he also has NZ citizenship and an NZ passport).

Thanks Lopburi and Maestro for your responses - I think you've cleared up the issue for me. I perhaps need to look at getting the babies Thai citizenship if this is the easiest way to solve the problem, otherwise I will get dependent visas next time I leave the country.

Thank

I'm hoping that someone here can help me with a situation I have with my 3 month old twins.

I've lived and worked in Bangkok for many years and have the correct visa and work permit to stay here. When the floods hit last year and I had to evacuate my home, I decided to return to New Zealand to have my babies rather than having them in Bangkok as planned. Before returning to Thailand, I contacted the visa officers at the school I work at to get the required paper work to obtain visas for the babies and was told I could bring my babies to Thailand without a visa as they are under 7 years old. However, when we went to check-in for our Emirates flight, we were told that the babies did need visas - we were not allowed on the flight without a visa unless I had evidence of a flight out of Thailand so that they could get 30 days on arrival. This meant I needed to purchase one-way tickets back to New Zealand for the babies even though I had no intention of using them. On arrival in Bangkok, the immigration officers stamped their passports with a 30 day entry which allows them to stay until May 11th. The visa officers at my school are adamant that the babies did not need visas to enter the country and, at present, do not need visas to stay in the country. At this time, they are not going to assist me in obtaining visas for the babies or nor will they get me an extension of the 30 days visa. They say that it is okay for babies to overstay their visa and I won't have any trouble when I try to leave the country.

What I would like to know is:

1) Did Emirates make a mistake and should they have let us on the flight without evidence of tickets leaving Thailand?

2) Did the visa officers at my school make the mistake and should they have provided me with the correct paperwork to get visas for the twins?

3) Will I have trouble leaving the country if the babies overstay their 30 days? It's likely that we will not be leaving the country again until July 2013 so they will have overstayed their 30 day visa by 14 months.

4) Is it possible for the visa staff to obtain visas permitting my children to stay longer than the 30 days from within Thailand?

This situation has caused a great deal of stress for me and I am currently the only staff member (that I know of) at the school that does not have visas for their children born outside of Thailand. I was told that my situation is different than others - most staff arrive here with their children when they first come out so visas were obtained for the whole family at the same time. Apparently, it is different for me as I already had the correct visa and have been working in Thailand since before the babies were born. However, a colleague of mine returned to Australia to have her children and she required visas for her children to get into the country. This was 3 years ago and I was told the rules have changed since then.

If anyone can shed some light on my situation, I will be very grateful!

Thanks

I hardly ever visit Thaivisa these days so it's funny that I logged in today and saw this topic as I started a thread the same as this exactly 5 years ago back in the days when family related questions were posted in the Ladies forum. Here's the link:

It started a hot debate where people even accused me of lying about things like my son being taken out of his pram, etc but there were also a lot of other people that, like me, found this type of behaviour difficult to deal with. What I can add to the conversation now is that it does get easier as your child gets older. My son is 6 1/2 now and the instances of him being touched by strangers are rare (maybe once every month or two). He still doesn't like it and I always know when it happens as he comes very close to me and tries to 'hide' himself with my body but at least he now understands the reasons why and I can brush it off with a 'never mind, just ignore it'.

plus u need BOTH mom and dad to sign on the aplication.

Just apply for it in Denmark

Small clarification: You both have to approve the passport application, but you don't both have appear at the passport office or embassy to apply for the passport.

No, you don't need both parents to approve the application, only the Thai parent. Yes, the child does need to go to the passport office for the photo. This information is correct as of 2 months ago when my son got his new Thai passport.

The law makes no destinction between a Thai and a foreign parent. Both have to aprove the passport application.

In your case either the officer had an interpretation of the law that is not correct or the mother has sole custody over the child.

That's weird - his Thai dad took him to the Chaeng Wattana office and did everything; I never had to sign anything. When I went to pick up my son's passport, all I had to do was show mine. Must just have been an anomaly though.

Not exactly sure what you are looking for - but check out the Marriot Courtyard in Cha Am. Reasonably priced and from what friends tell me they have a very good kiddy club.

I haven't been myself, but lots of friends with kids also say this is a brilliant hotel.

Another place to go, much cheaper than others, is Dolphin Bay Resort in Pranburi. It's simple but it caters pretty much only to families, mostly western families. They have a big grassed playing area, great pool with a slide and the beach has loads of crabs and fish in the sand pools when the tide goes out - hours of entertainment for kids that like nature. The bungalows are about 1200 a night so don't expect 5 star but they are clean with air-con and TV, etc.

One more place is Fisherman's Village in Petchaburi (Hat Jao Sam Ran). This is a nice, boutique resort with spa and so on but they also have a huge playground with Western style slides, swings and seesaws as well as a big adventure playground. We have been taking the Year 3s at my school there for their 2 night 'expedition' for the past four years.

I'm a 34FF (sometimes G depending on the style) and I've found a great bra .... it's called a shock absorber, a British brand, and if you google it it comes up straight away. You can't get in Thailand though or even in normal lingerie shops back home. A year ago or so I went to a specialty bra shop for women D cup + and had a fitting (incidentally, before the fitting I wore a 36E so it's true what Oprah used to say about most people wearing the wrong bra size!). I was hesitant at first as the bra is not underwired but soft cup! I've never ever worn a soft cup before but, amazingly, it actually works really well. It does feel a bit straight jacket like when wearing it but this is so much preferable to major bounce even when wearing a normal underwire bra + normal soft sports bra + exercise top with built in shelf bra as I used to wear.

The newish Centara in Pattaya is brilliant. i wouldn't normally choose Pattaya but this hotel is worth it - the swimming pool complex is amazing with a huge 'lazy river' (with caves and waterfalls) and a big pool with a jumping rock. There are also loads of water slides. Pure heaven for any kid (or grown up) that loves being in the pool!

I've tried a few years ago - sites like match.com have. I gave up when far too many older (40, 50+) Thai men kept contacting me to 'be friends' when I clearly stated I wasn't interested in men over 40 etc. I don't think there is a stigma at all these days about using dating sites (free or paid for). Anyone that thinks there is a stigma is so behind the times. Internet dating works for loads of people, I just don't think it works that well in Thailand for women looking for genuine relationships. Obviously if you are like the poster above, dating sites work well ... but why pay to join a site when any old retired man can pick up 10 pretty ladies if they just pop on down to Patpong or Nana.... same results.

I think its unfair (and untrue) to class Thai women who use dating sites as being the same as women in Patpong or Nana. For the men paying to use those sites, i cannot see how the result would be the same. Im sure some of the ladies are out to bag some farang they think can help them out, but im also sure there must be many ladies who would just like to meet a nice man. LaughingMan is obviously proof of this, and im happy for him.

You're right, apologies. I was actually referring to artinamerica's post, not LaughingMan's though. He is a retired man looking for Thai women on a dating site which only shows pictures of very young women looking for western men. I made the assumption that his 10 pretty ladies were all young and probably 20 something but he has now clarified that the site has older women too. While the women on these site are not all like women down at Patpong or Nana, I do think there would be a fair number that are on the site looking for a western man for what he can offer financially rather than emotionally and most (from my limited understanding) bar girls are looking for the same. I believe this to be true as I have Thai female friends that go on internet dating sites for this very reason and I have had discussions with them about it. From my point of view, I find it hard to understand why my educated friends who earn a comparatively good salary in thailand, would settle for a western man they barely know just because he's financially secure and lives in the US or similar. I do sort of understand where they are coming from, but it's very different from how I think.

Yet I can't say anything positive has been said in support of me, my life, my child, my views, even though some seem to think I was a victim of abuse. You don't have to agree with my views but some of you seem to seriously dislike me for speaking about this, and have made a lot of rude assumptions about me.

If you are wondering why people think you are a victim of abuse, go back and read the post you made earlier ......

Immediately the all night drinking binges started, along with sleeping all day. The getting a lover on the side, right in front of my face, started too. The phyiscal attacks when I dared to "confront any issue." One time, I was sitting on a sofa, and quietly said, "I am starting to hate you" and you know what the reward was? I got knocked unconcious! My head was later swollen up probably double the normal size. I have also been strangled, and had a few black eyes.

Physical attacks, being knocked unconscious, being strangled all add up to you being a victim of physical abuse (not to mention all the emotional abuse you've referred to). I hope you are seeing someone to help you through this and help you understand that it is not normal or right that anyone should put up with this kind of treatment. I really hope, not just for your sake but for your child's, that you are getting or seeking the kind of help that you deserve so that you can deal with this terrible situation and improve the quality of your life and your child's.

And to the poster who said she doesn't want child support, because you make so much more then him (him being 20K baht a month) I would say that you should get whatever you can, and save it for your child. Who knows what will happen in the future? Why should his kid be free because he married someone who earns so much more? Would his kid be free if he married a Thai lady? What if you are unemployed at some point, disabled from some medical condition, or you die? Even if it is only the 3000 baht a month, take that and save it for your child's university education. Why in the world would you consider it none of his responsibility? Why in the world would you consider it all your job to earn the money, do all the care-taking, all the work, and he has no responsibility? What will happen if you die? Your kid cannot control the money. If you think it is great that he takes your child to the zoo once a year, or buys a birthday gift, you have seriously low expectations, which might explain why you feel happy about this situation.

Actually - I have high expectations. I expect that my child is cared for and loved by his father and is shown that love, not just in a materialistic way, but an emotional way - by spending time together with his father whether it be kicking a ball around a football pitch, building lego all afternoon, having sleepovers, or by going on outings together (which are regular - who said it was only once a year?). Financially, I have a large sum of money put away that I save regularly into for future costs such as university, etc. As part of my contract, if I die or am seriously disabled and can no longer work, my child gets a scholarship at my school until the completion of his schooling. I also have a separate account (that I control) where I bank all the money that is given to me by his Dad and Thai grandparents. Not money given in regular monthly child support payments, but money given at birthdays, Christmas and so on. His Thai grandparents give me 1-2,000 baht every time they see him. This money has built up to about 40,000 baht. I am happy with my situation and it works very well for all of us involved.

plus u need BOTH mom and dad to sign on the aplication.

Just apply for it in Denmark

Small clarification: You both have to approve the passport application, but you don't both have appear at the passport office or embassy to apply for the passport.

No, you don't need both parents to approve the application, only the Thai parent. Yes, the child does need to go to the passport office for the photo. This information is correct as of 2 months ago when my son got his new Thai passport.

mcplumeria... you are obviously a victim of abuse and that is very sad. Obviously, and understandably, the situation has had a terrible effect on you. Personally, for me, I never would have allowed any of the things described in your situation to happen to my son. When his Thai grandparents have (unknowingly) put him in a dangerous situation - e.g. have tried putting him (when young) on the handlebars of a bike or on a motorbike, I have stopped the action immediately. If a seatbelt wasn't done up, I would have stopped the car immediately. As a childs' mother, you do have the power to control the situation if you are not happy or you feel that they are in danger. If your child's father is abusive and the situation is dangerous, married or not, you can leave the country with your child. I don't know if all countries do this, but certainly most western countries allow you to get citizenship by decent and apply for a passport and you can do this from within Thailand and you don't (for my country at least) need the father's permission. No one at the airport stops you from leaving - no one has ever questioned me in all the times I've left the country with my son even though he has a Thai surname and I have a western surname. You can control the situation and being married or not married has nothing to do with this.

It's not true that people never report bad things about their lives in this forum .... I haven't been around on this site for awhile, but certainly in the past people have shared bad relationship experiences with their Thai partners just as happens in any country with partners of any nationality. Myself, I have a failed relationship with a Thai man (he cheated on me but things were already going downhill) and we have a son, now 5 years old. But just as most people in this situation in western countries, he still has a relationship with his son. He speaks on the phone almost daily and sees him every week or two. He doesn't pay child support but I wouldn't want it - I do earn way more than him and my salary is more than enough to also save several thousand dollars per month so why would I ask per a percentage of his 20,000 baht a month salary? He contributes and helps out in other ways - birthday presents, clothes, day trips to the zoo and so on.

It is ridiculous to advise someone not to get married just because of their partner's nationality. Relationships will flourish or dwindle in any country with any nationality and only the most extreme of relationships will be as bad as yours turned out to be - it doesn't mean it will happen to everyone.

Unfortunately, OP I can not advise with your original question but I do know it is pretty easy to get married before having a child.

I've tried a few years ago - sites like match.com have. I gave up when far too many older (40, 50+) Thai men kept contacting me to 'be friends' when I clearly stated I wasn't interested in men over 40 etc. I don't think there is a stigma at all these days about using dating sites (free or paid for). Anyone that thinks there is a stigma is so behind the times. Internet dating works for loads of people, I just don't think it works that well in Thailand for women looking for genuine relationships. Obviously if you are like the poster above, dating sites work well ... but why pay to join a site when any old retired man can pick up 10 pretty ladies if they just pop on down to Patpong or Nana.... same results.

All NZers registered with the embassy would have got the email that barrywells posted above .... as it says.... New Zealanders currently in Bangkok should consider departing. Think that the newspaper reports saying the PM is urging NZers to leave is a bit exaggerated. The rest of the email is fairly standard and similar to past emails and emails from the British embassy. My mother watched the news in NZ earlier tonight and texted me about the report but didn't say anything about the PM urging NZers to leave.... think she would have mentioned it if he had.

Hi - I can't provide any useful bits of information but I know that there are a lot of expats living in Thailand also wanting to adopt Thai babies. Perhaps if you could find out about this it may be a quicker process than international adoption. You definitely need to speak to lawyers. Do they have such a things as open adoption in Thailand? A colleague I've mine adopted a Thai baby and even living here it was a lengthy process. Apparently it is difficult for babies younger than 1 year old to be adopted out as Thai law allows the natural parents one year to change their minds. You need to check this out.

I have tried to include some pictures here but the upload function is not working for some reason.

Today I took my dog to the vet to make sure her vaccinations are up-to-date and the vet said that she is not overweight like I thought she was - she's just not as lean and muscular as she used to be.

Please PM or phone for more information - 081 8493672 (between 3pm and 9pm best). Thanks.

My 7 year old Golden Retriever needs a good home. She is spayed, vaccinated and is pedigree with papers. She has a wonderful temperament and is good with small children and other animals. She is overweight at present due to lack of exercise. I want her to go to a very good home with a big garden and opportunities to play and exercise. Please PM me if you are interested with your email address and I will send you more details and photos.

Serious inquiries only please. Thanks.

refering to my previous post go to www.Telergraph.co.uk look under Travel, 'In pictures 20 of the world's most dangerous places'. Picture No.7 is Thailand for those doubters amongst you...................

I couldn't find this but did find a gallery with some good pictures - The Nation and Bangkok Post don't seem to have many.

ttp://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/worldnews/3520796/Anti-government-protesters-storm-Bangkok-international-airport.html

By the way, I'm pretty close to DM airport and am pretty sure just heard two small explosions about 15-20 minutes ago. Not as loud as the one that woke me at 3.55 this morning though.

Was at Pratunam today buying white Abba boots for my school show & ground floor of Pratunam center has loads of shoes shops selling black stilleto boots in big sizes - think a lot of the stuff there is intended for lady-boys and bar girls going by the sorts of clothes on sale! Apparently the place shuts early, around 5.30, but not sure about this. Can walk there from Central World shopping center.

I wouldn't recommend taking tuk-tuks, but taxis are usually okay. Just make sure you ask for the meter to be on and have a quick wiff that the driver doesn't smell of alcohol if at night!! If you want to go to several places at night time, you could spend a bit more and book a taxi through julie's taxis.

http://julietaxitour.com/

They have English speaking drivers and do loads of tour options plus you can create your own tour - just tell them what you want to do and ask them for other ideas. Loads of people from my work use them and I have always found them polite, reliable and helpful.

Based on your original post in this thread wishyouwerehere, you're the one that's unbelievable. Why did you even bother reading and replying to the OPs post in the first place? And you talk about time-wasting! You would certainly benefit in a lesson on developing empathy for others.

OP sorry I can't be more helpful, however if you can manage to get your child a British passport and get to the UK, you may be able to arrange custody through the British courts. I don't know the laws so I'm not certain of this, but I do know of someone who has done this (however, the mother was also in the UK at the time).

Hello,

We have recently booked our flights to Australia for over Christmas but are having a week / 10 days in Thailand on the way home. We have looked at a "resort" holiday on the island of Koh Chang and require an extra hand with our 2 children (Rosie almost 3 and Angus 1 1/2) helping with childcare, the language and suggestions on what to do?

We would pay for all travel (to us, whilst with us and home again), accommodation whilst with us and a wage.

We could for example meet someone in BKK on our 3 day stop off in December make sure they and we are suitable by having a little babysitting whilst we organise the second part of the trip

Would really appreciate any advice you can give us - even if it just "go through an agency" - thought it would be worthwhile asking first.

Thanks in advance

Charlotte Banks (UK)

Very trusting! I've been in Thailand 10 years and I am extremely over-protective and fussy with who I leave my son with. I know I may be a bit (a lot!) paranoid about about abduction and so on (as are many of my friends) but even if I was less concerned with this, there is no way I would trust a complete stranger with my child. If you are going to go ahead with this (and I would suggest you think very hard and carefully about it) then you should only go through an agency, or even better through the hotel directly. References are easily forged in this country and can not be trusted. Hopefully, through an agency background and police checks would have already been done. I think your best bet would be to find a resort that includes a babysitting service and perhaps even a kids club (although this is usually for children 3 and above).

st johns god i wouldnt recommend that one of my friends went there he hated everything about and move to my school, harrow. I've been there for 10 years now. I have loved every bit about it the school has a great campus now and great teachers who help you alot throught tough times. Alot of the school passes to top Uni's in and outside of Thailand. I used to go to many other schools before, I know Harrow maybe a little expensive but it is worth it. It's a peaceful school. I used to go to Assumption College but not in BKK but all of them schools are very good. I went to Bangkok Patana School, full of alot of different nationalities, great school but the students need banging in the head sometimes... I think education is important however young you are because you start to pick up things better then you are younger and learning somewhere that is up to high standards help.

icebkk - are you a student at Harrow? You're not really doing the school any justice with your terrible spelling and grammatical errors and bad-mouthing of other schools. Readers, please do not think this is the quality of English we produce at Harrow and the attitudes we support. Great to hear the positive comments about Harrow though, icebkk.

The father (your fil) would need to apply for the babies british nationality, the non British parent is not required to sign anything.

That was not true in my case. The mother had to sign paternity papers as well as me. She had to confirm that I was the father.

How odd, when I applied for my sons UK PP last year it only asked for british parents signature & their proof of right to pass on nationality (my passport), it asked for info of the father & we showed we are legally married but he was not required to sign a thing.

If it is the same as New Zealand, the father has to provide proof of paternity. The mother's proof is giving birth - therefore if the mother is the westerner she does not have to provide further proof that she is the mother in order to apply for citizenship for her child. However, if applying for citizenship by descent on the father's side, he needs to provide genetic proof of paternity as a couple could just be saying he is the father to get the citizenship when in fact the biological father could actually be someone completely different.