sylvafern

Toys R Us at Central World. Right next to the checkout counters there a stand full of kids costumes.

Going to Central World tomorrow so will check it out. Hope it has western sizes. Was very excited a few weeks ago when I saw a Jeans West Australia stall inside Central Lat Prao (decent priced casual clothes chain in Oz and NZ) but severly disappointed when I saw they had out Thai price tags on and relabeled the sizes. e.g. an Oz size 9 jeans (about size 6/7 US) was relabeled as XL !!! Ridiculous especially for a western brand.

Why Paragon for H&M??? I rarely go shopping there but regularly go to Central World as does everyone I know. Would be so much better there than at Paragon.

Lots of the TAs and maids/nannies at my school babysit for those of us with children and the rate is 100 baht an hour plus taxi money both ways (which I pay whether or not they choose to taxi or take a songthaew and save the money) plus food if at a meal time. I usually leave enough money to order food for the sitter and my son from the local shop and then she can choose what she wants. As I'm a single mum and lead a busy life, my regular babysitter usually earns between 5 and 7,000 baht a month extra from me as I go to the gym and go out with friends in the evenings quite a bit ... I also tend to round up to 1000 baht (incl taxi money) if I've been out on a big night and get home late. Paying well and providing regular hours means the babysitter is keen and I know my son is in safe and capable hands. I personally chose to go down the route of having an English speaking babysitter with childcare qualifications rather than having my maid do it as many others do and it works best for me.

I use Garnier Wrinkle lift day cream (in a red tub) which is really good for me - no wrinkles yet whatsoever (touch wood!).

As for sunscreen, I have to wear it on my face as I suffer from unattractive pigmentation if I don't. After trying all the different cheap face sunblocks (nivia, vaseline, etc) and getting blocked pores and zits, I splurged on a Shisedo SPF 35 Sunblock which I wear every day. It cost me $50 in New Zealand which is quite a lot of money on a sunblock but I've had it 8 months and have only used about 2/3 of the bottle so it has actually been a good deal, especially as it doesn't feel greasy or block my pores as other products have done.

Ooo ... sorry to have caused a bit of an argument!!

Thanks for the advice Boo, and don't worry others.... I am not going to run off and 'steal' my child. I've worked hard to keep his father in his life even though he's the one that cheated on me and I could have easily made things difficult. If I plan to leave the country, his dad will definitely know well in advance.

Everything is actually very amicable now - I was concerned just in case things change in the future and I wanted to see what others thought about making things legal now.

Mix-up ... what do you mean by an amicable signed parenting plan - if the courts are kept out, does that mean it's legal or is it a document that can be used to show what has been going on if their are custody issues in the future?

Rubbish that most expat women in Bangkok are housewives (as someone else said)... loads of us are long-termers here and are working.

Perhaps you haven't had much response as this was in the Bangkok forum rather than in the ladies forum ... i never look in the Bangkok forum (only found this as it was at the bottom of the page I was looking on).

I'd be keen for a meet-up but, sorry not really with 18 year olds. I'm 35 (aghh!!) but feel/act younger! Prefer central area too, not interested in Khao San area. Can't do anything this week but maybe next??? Friday night?

There is always so many topics on here about custody of children that it has made me start to worry that I do not have legal custody of my son although it is mutual between his dad and myself.

My son's father is Thai and so my son is a Thai citizen with Thai passport but he also has NZ citizenship and a passport. I was never married to my son's father. We split up 2 years ago after I found out he'd been cheating on me (do not have hard evidence of this anymore as accidently deleted the incriminating email - friends saw it though) and we've lived separately ever since.

My son stays with me full time and sees his father once a week or so. I am much more financially able to take care of my son and provide a better life for him, but it worries me if his father finds himself in a better position financially in the future (he works in an industry where this may become a possibility) and decided he wants my son to live with him. Or what if I decide to leave Thailand - would he legally be able to force my son to stay here?

Do people think I should be getting legal custody or do you think it's safe to continue as we are? At the moment it is all agreeable between us.

Issanlawyers

You mention the lawyer was right in saying she must have grounds for divorce

Silapin mentions

"He said that the separation thing only applied to an agreed separation - ie the other party agrees to it and subsequently to the divorce."

and

"It seems that separation/abandonment can only lead to the abandoned person filing divorce not the 'abandoner'."

Has she understood the legal advice correctly. i.e. 1. It must be an agreed separation and 2. only the abandoned person can file for divorce.

What is your opinion on those statements?

I think that this is quite possibly correct. My Thai friend wants to divorce her Thai husband but he won't agree to it and he refuses to move out of the house so they can start the 3 years (although she thought it was 2) of separation. With 3 children and on a low income salary she can't afford to move herself. He hasn't done anything bad is just a lazy bugger who plays computer games all day and acts like a forth child so she's stuck with him until he also decides and agrees to the divorce. Doesn't seem fair but she has no other choice at the moment.

Twilight Children by Torey Hayden

A true recount of an educational psychologist's work - this book focuses on her work with 2 children and 1 elderly patient. Was excellent and have just bought another by her (at Asia books).

For crime writing I have just read two books by Sandra Brown (bought at B2S) - one of them called The Crush about a pyschopath killer who develops a crush on the the head juror (who is a doctor) from his trial (book starts off after the trial has concluded when the killer was set free). Great thing about this book and the other one is that it also has bonus racy scenes in it!!! (Between the doctor and the cop protecting her) - very oo-la-la!!!

Congratulations on the pregnancy even if you are still just coming to terms with it! It's still early days yet and you need to be aware that a lot of first time pregnancies do end in miscarriage (hopefully not you though) so don't start thinking everything is completely fine ... usually after 12 weeks it is considered that the danger period is over.

I personally did not go to any pre-natal classes as I was lucky to work in an environment with a large staff with many women with kids and about 5 of us pregnant at the same time so I had a ready made support network. Sorry I can't give you much advice on that. I think Bambi as a support network for pregnant women, although I'm not sure about the people who go to these groups ... I think the majority are stay-at-home expat wives (but I could be wrong) which may not be the sort of people you immediately click with.

You mention going to Krabi when you're about 6 months along ... just make sure if you do that you have checked out the hospitals and are convinced that they will be able to provide you the the standard of care that you need - even in Bangkok there is only about 3 hospitals that the majority of expat women would choose to have their babies in - Bumrungrad, Samitevej and BNH. Also, check out the costs. I'm not sure what sort of job you are working in, but the cost of having a baby is NOT cheap here (at those hospitals) so if you are on a lower income you may find that you will struggle.

Good luck and I'm sure that there are many people here that can help you with your questions - also, there is also the family forum with lots of threads about babies, hospitals and bringing up children where you can find advice.

Why is this posted in the 'Ladies' forum? Is it that all er Ladies here are assumed to have given birth? There is a 'Family' section you know. How patronising.

Why do you assume that all ladies need to have given birth before they know stuff about babies? My sister has never been pregnant or had a baby, does not have any medical background but she still knows lots about babies as she has so many friends that have had kids .... she was able to give me heaps of advice when I was pregnant and she certainly did not think it was patronising if I asked her a question!!

Congrats to Dirk on the pregnancy - hope it all goes well!!

I am looking at getting over in January for the birth, which due to Aom's first pregnancy will probably be by c-section

Hi there ... good luck with everything ... nothing to do with your original question but why would first time pregnancy probably be by c-section??? This doesn't make sense at all and is completely inaccurate .... if this is the advice your fiance is being given then she will definitely need to see a better doctor - unfortunately I don't know of hospitals in Saraburi.

If she wants one that's in northern Bangkok then I can suggest Mongkol Wattana on Chaeng Wattana Road (near the Don Muang Airport) as being quite good ... their OB/GYN doctors all speak English (good for you once you arrive) and they also have a very good British/Thai pediatrician called Dr Suda (you will need a pediatrician lined up fir baby's check-up immediately after the birth). In saying that, I only went there for the first half of my pregnancy then switched to Samativej .... not because I was unhappy but because of Samitevej's good reputation. Anyhow, it could be a better option for your fiance as it is about a 1 hour's drive from Saraburi town compared to (up to about) 2 hours to Bumrungrad or Samitevej.

I almost always use this hospital for general medical needs and take my son to Dr Suda when he's ill.

I've held out for some time, but eventually caved and went with my wife and daughter to the Safari Park (drive through zoo) @ Safari World. As I've heard previously, the animals are in bad shape (open, bloody wounds; some limping; many look less than healthy). It got me thinking, I would love to take my family to a proper animal sanctuary (or similar establishment) that treated the animals well, and gave my daughter the opportunity to see (and possibly pet) some animals. Does anyone know of such a place in the Bangkok area? Thanks!

I've been to Safari World many times, and while some animals may appear a bit bored and/or waiting for their next meal, aside from ostrich's losing their feathers (which seems common in captivity), can't say i've ever seen anything approaching "animals are in bad shape (open, bloody wounds; some limping; many look less than healthy)"! My kinds always enjoy the drive through, and the main park is very big and has something for most people (i actually thought the zoo was quite good).

I last went in February and didn't see any animals with open, bloody wounds, limping or anything even close to it. My son loves it as do all my friends' kids. Will be going again this week. Since the renovations there is many excellent exhibits inside the park which look very well kept and the animals are seem healthy. (e.g. mini world - or is it micro-world? - giraffe feeding area, walruses, etc.

Also, I was at the tiger temple yesterday and did not think it was anywhere near as bad as what people are saying in the thread linked above. Since I last went 18 months ago there have been a lot of developments (admittedly with still a lot to go) and the tigers looked healthy.

Vertigo (Banyan Tree) and Soroco (State Tower) great for the start of a girl's night out but too expensive to stay all night!

Silom Soi 4 is popular with my friends but only on rare occasions for me.

Coyotes Soi Convent has ladies nights on Wednesdays and Sukhumvit Coyotes have them on Thursdays.

Thanks for all the positive replies,i think the best thing is for me to carry on speaking English,my Thai is shocking! and try and get the Hubby to speak only Thai to her,he actually said it was quite hard to remeber how to speak Thai!! My little un understands whats being said in both languages,but tends to make more English sounding words,she says 'mum'with a fantastic Yorkshire twang

Thanks again

The key here is to insist on your hubby speaking Thai to your little one - if he continues to speak mostly English, from experience, your daughter will almost have no chance of ever becoming bilingual ... whether you stay in Thailand or move overseas. My son has lived all of his almost 4 years in thailand (with the exception of 5 months in New Zealand last year) and he can not speak Thai at all past the regular sawadee-krap and kop khun krap. He can understand a bit more than he can speak but he is very limited. Right from the start his dad has always spoken to him in English despite my insistence that he must speak Thai to him. Now that he is getting older and has advanced English language skills for his age, his dad is frustrated that he can not speak Thai yet .... but whose fault is that!!! He seems to think it is the responsibilities of his teachers but he is at an international school and has limited Thai language while there. His dad and I are no longer together but he still sees him once a week and talks to him on the phone most days but every time I say he should be speaking Thai to our son he complains that my son doesn't understand him when he's speaking Thai. Ughhh! I've tried my best to encourage the bilingualism but one can only go so far. I still try to encourage him to have some understanding and try to teach him words in Thai but there's no chance that I alone will ever be able to help him become fluent in Thai (but at least he has as excellent grasp of English!!).

I'll be watching out for the December promotion then! I've been wanting to have my bikini line done for ages. A friend has had her's done at Bumrungrad and the cost then (a few years ago) was 19,000 for 3 sessions but I think it's gone down now.

From my understanding and research though, laser only requires about 3 sessions and it's IPL (which is not quite as effective) that requires 6-8 sessions ... so is it IPL at the Apex clinic or definitely laser?

Edited to add: did my research and found the website for the Apex clinic and it's definitely laser .... here's the link to their page on permanent hair removal:

http://www.apexprofoundbeauty.com/en/treat...p;productID=111

Back to the original question .... does your style change when you move to Thailand .... for me I don't think I really had a style but moving to Thailand definitely didn't change anything. I only ever had one boyfriend before I moved to Thailand when I was 24 and a few casual flings .... I was always far too shy to make a move and, if I did, alcohol played a part in it. Even when I got together with my ex (who was thai) it was a typical scene of meeting on the dance floor of a bar and (more than) a few drinks were involved.

Now, at 35, I'm just getting back into the single scene (even though I've been single for 2 years ... it's taken me that long to build up confidence in myself) and I still have no clue. I thought that I'd totally gone off all Thai men forever, but all of a sudden my interest has seemed to pounce back and I keep seeing gorgeous guys everywhere. At the moment I really fancy one particular guy but, as he's actually the instructor of the class I go to at the gym (cliche, I know!), I don't exactly get the chance to talk to him. Throughout the class we exchange smiles a lot, but I have no idea how to read the signs (if any) ... perhaps he's just smiling at me because I'm the only farang in the room?? At the end of class I try to take as long as possible to put away my equipment to give him a chance to come up to me but it's not worked so far.... I don't think there's much chance of it progressing past smile stage as I'm too shy to approach him and I get the feeling, if he doesn't already have a girlfriend, he is too shy to approach me.

Now that I'm older (not that I feel it ... feel 25 not 35!) it's harder to know if a guy is single or not. At least when you're younger, there's a much higher chance that a guy you're keen on could also be single. It doesn't help that most Thai men don't wear wedding rings ... at least with a western man that can give you some clue. Also, I find with Thai men in particular (with Thai people in general) it's much harder to judge the age.... it would be a bit embarrassing (for me) to finally pluck up the courage to flirt/ask a guy out and then find out he's 10 or 15 years younger than yourself!

I've used a three-wheeled Mountain Buggy (easy to collapse) for my son and still do on occasions ... best investment I ever made. Have used it heaps in Bangkok ... it all depends on where you go and what you want it for. Mountain Buggy don't have suppliers in Thailand but they do sell in shops in Singapore, Hong Kong and Malaysia so perhaps if you are traveling there you'd be able to pick on up. (They have double and even triple buggies).

Just be careful with the diagnosis - even at Bumrungrad. Some years ago I was diagnosed with endometrosis by a female doctor at bumrungrad (forget the name) and was proscribed medication. I ALWAYS come home and research any medication I've been given on the internet before taking it and discovered that it had very serious side effects and that, in fact, endometreosis can only by confirmed by visually inspecting the abdominal organs by a procedure called a laparoscopy - which the doctor had not done or even mentioned. I returned to bumrungrad and saw another doctor (Noppodol who worked in the UK for 20 years) who confirmed that the original doctor should not have made such a quick diagnosis.

Anyhow, in the end he felt that I basically suffered from cronic pelvis pain (had had it since 17 years old) and that it would most likely go away after having a baby - in the three and a half years since having my son I have only twice had a slight twinge in that area and have not had any further ovarian cysts so I guess he was right!!

My son travels out of Thailand on a Thai passport with a Thai surname and I travel on an NZ passport and have a western surname. I have never been stopped or questioned once which I actually find a little concerning. I suppose they can tell I'm not just kidnapping some random child by the fact that he obviously knows me and seem like his mother, but still. I've carried a copy of his birth certificate before just in case I do get asked.

Last year in New Zealand I went to a place called The Athlete's foot (sports shoe shop) where they measure your feet and get you to do all sorts of steps and runs on to a special pad linked to a computer so they can fully analyse your feet (at no charge!!). They then gave me a few different types of shoes to try on based on this and the ones that I far and away found the most comfortable were Mizuno brand ... not being a hugely sporty person I didn't know the brand before then. They were the second most expensive shoe in the shop and certainly not the most attractive, but for the first time ever I do not get sore feet when doing aerobics/treadmill and I find them super comfortable. So I say, if possible, try and get your feet fully assessed so that you can get the right shoe .... not sure if this is possible in Thailand though!

At the Mall Ngam Wong Wan (and I would assume all the 'The Malls') the sewing machine area is in the linen/homewhare section. I bought an Elvira a few years back for 5000 baht new. It's a simple little machine that only does 12 different types of stitches. I was told that Elivas are Asian made Elnas and are part of the same company. You definitely don't want to be spending lots unless you are really sure you will use it. I used mine heaps for a couple of months but it now sits in a cupboard as I am too lazy and tailors in the soi are so much easier than doing things myself (and very cheap)!

Lots of my friends have used this doctor at Bumrungrad - as you can see it is one of his special clinical interests ...

Dr. Nopadol Saropala

Speciality: OB/GYN (Women)

Language: Spoken : English,Thai

Qualifications: Medical School: University of London, UK, 1983

Board of Certifications :

- UK Board of OB/GYN, 1987

Associate Professor, Mahidol University, Thailand

Fellowships: MRCOG, UK

Special Clinical Interests: Labor Care, Vaginal Birth after Cesarean Section.

Day Time Location

Mon 09:00 - 16:00 Women's Center

Tue 09:00 - 16:00 Women's Center

Wed 09:00 - 16:00 Women's Center

Thu 09:00 - 16:00 Women's Center

Fri 09:00 - 12:00 Women's Center

Sat 13:00 - 17:00 Women's Center

Sun 13:00 - 17:00 Women's Center

There are a couple of international boarding schools in bangkok - but they are not cheap.... in the 100s of thousands of baht.

It's a nonsense that kids can really learn to swim before 5-6 yrs old. They can hardly learn to float in a still deep water.

It's nonsense to think that kids can't be taught to swim until they are 5 or 6. There are LOTS of kids aged 3,4 and 5 that can swim the whole length of the 25 metre swimming pool at my school - including diving in from the deep end. Not every kid of course, and the 3 years olds mostly do doggie paddle but by five, thanks to regular lessons, there are some children who swim better than fish would.

My son first went in the pool at 10 weeks but I have not made the effort, unfortunately, to teach him to swim properly yet - he has a 3 year old friend (same age as him) who can dive in the deep end and swim confidently for about 10-15 metres. He started lessons two weeks ago so hopefully he'll be able to swim himself quite soon.