A bloke knocked on my door this morning and said, "Could you spare 5 minutes to do an opinion poll".....
I replied, "Sorry mate, my opinion isn't in at the moment, she's down the shops"....
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon, grabs the bartender by the scruff of his neck, looks him dead in the eyes and says...
"I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."