nikmar

A boy in maths class was disrupting the lesson by flicking chewed up paper at the teacher with a ruler. The teacher confist......confictic......confiscik......took the ruler off the boy

as it was a weapon of math destruction.

So a fisherman meets a magician and says "pick a cod, any cod."

The Leeds Liverpool Canal. I miss fishing there.

Everyone in the office as usual today. most of them however are on Facebook.

Not that I can talk, sat here reading ThaiVisa!

Boxing

So I had an orange lined up for my lunch but it hopped off my plate and ran for it. I eventually caught it again. You see, it ran out juice.

my missis loves these. she gets them off youtube.

What do I search for?

You could try a search for "bossa nova" and go from there.

Mate

Julius Ceaser offers his friend , Brutus, his pack of Polo mints.

On being given the pack back he looked at it and declared "Et tu Brutus!"

heart

elvis

loathing

Have you tried brown rice. Ive really got quite into it.

Do you remember last year at the climax of Sutheps demos and Prayut declared martial law. There was hardly a mention in the office where I work. Even as the coup unfolded, there was nobody interested except for me (the only farang) but when Facebook went down for about half an hour there was a near panic situation in the office. People out of their chairs, checking each others

computer etc.

No one interested in how their country is developing but when Facebook goes down, then its commented on by everyone.

When I eat with my wife, I have to wait for the inevitable and obligatory photos to be done first. And what is it with the hand signals at every photo taken.

My wife scalds me for laughing at my sons farts.

Ilegal / legal, be they what they may , but street markets still make up a part of Bangkok's character and I think the city loses something when places like this are closed down.

conscience pricking you?

I get asked what the temperature is in the UK.

tardy

Not me on her, the other way around. years ago now.

I passed out, unfortunately, extremely drunk one early evening. (long story short, I helped a friend move and he paid me in beer and whisky) . she was not impressed as we had said we were gonig to her Mum's that night.

I woke up the next morning , err, a bit dazed and offered to buy her breakfast of her choice.

In gettingf ready, I happened to look in the mirror and there I was , resplendent, in her underwear, including a bra, heavily made up and looking like a skinny, white katoey.

How she laughed. So did I till she told me she had the photos. I think she still has.

this is what we caught with a glue trap. I was really quite upset for the poor snake and jing jock. And no bloody rat.

If the snake gets stuck like that on the glue and is still alive you can try covering it in cooking oil. It takes a while to dissolve the glue. most types, and the snake will eventually get free. Gives you time to relocate the snake.

I would do for the snake but the rats get a 10 minute underwater swim.

Exactly what I would've done had I seen it in time. Unfortunately we were too late to rescue it.

My wife got a little tearful about it.

The question was asked however, where did it get in and how long had it been living in our kitchen?????

this is what we caught with a glue trap. I was really quite upset for the poor snake and jing jock. And no bloody rat.

No. 16.

I used to live off beans and tinned soups. heat up in a pan and eat direct from the pan. No need for a dish at all.

siren