I don't care that you feel the need to pay for sex when you want it because of the fact that you can't get it otherwise. Do it if you enjoy it and if you can afford it. Wonderful. But who cares what you do with your little knob? I certainly don't. So no need to tell me.
I told you already to seek mental health treatment. That's your biggest problem. At the very least, cut down on all the daily drugs and alcohol already.