jbeans

Thai girls like things which western girls don't find attractive. I've got googly eyes and a big nose which get much more positive reponses in Thailand than they do in the west.

Also it's no secret that girls are attracted to height, and it's a lot easier to stand out for being tall in Thailand than it is in the west.

And then there's that small percentage of greencard hunters who will go home with you on the first night, not for money but in the hopes you will take them back to the west

I have been in a similar situation before. I have a casual partner who I adore but I will not commit to an exclusive relationship with her because she's too much of a butterfly.

We were having lunch the next morning and I see her giggling quietly as she is texting. It was obvious she was texting a guy. I said to her "are you texting a guy?" she smiled and nodded. And I told her "look, I know we are not boyfriend and girlfriend but when we are with each other we should still respect each other" she put the phone away. I recommend doing the same, telling her that you are not boyfriend and girlfriend but should still respect each other

Please listen to the little voice in your

Head saying" Your a freaken IDIOT"!!!

For having an open relationship with a hooker who has never asked me for money in 2 months? Who is great company in many ways... Yes I guess I'm an idiot

She is not poor if she goes out after work at 2.00 am. Unless it's just an extension of work and she is looking for more sponsors.

Loads of poor girls in the 7/11 or Mikes shopping Mall. Believe it or not there are some girls that don't even live in Pattaya.

Yes she is not poor at the moment. Says she makes 4-7k a night, says some rich guys there "spend, spend, spend" and give her 100-1k baht tips, personally I find it hard to believe anyone would give 1k in bangkok and not expect a sexual favour. But in another way she is poor, she has no assets, nothing to inherit and a short career life

For YOU to cheat is unacceptable...for her...it is not a problem...

Now we have discussed that we are in an open relationship... For both of us it is NOT cheating

Thanks a lot for all your responses.

If anyone is interested in an update... I really took on board villagefarrangs' advice. She's most likely a hooker, but I can't provide for her so I'm not going to get in the way of her making her money.

Our relationship is going well as an open relationship

It seems she wants the comfort of a normal relationship while she keeps doing whatever it is she does at night and that's fine with me. I want a normal relationship on the side while I can still enjoy Bangkok and everything it has to offer

I'm being promiscuous but in a way that doesn't rub it in her face or make her lose face.

If she does ever ask me to help out financially, I will not pay more than 10,000 baht.

mate all was well with that view until you mentioned 10k baht. Don't even go there! As soon as you said she didn't want money I thought these are the smart girls who always end up costing u the most. They are experts at increasing your 10000 min to 50k in weeks. ....and then ur hopelessly in the hook. A very very well trodden path as most here will tell u

When I say 10k baht, I don't mean 10k baht a pop. I just mean that I would be willing to help out with "broken air conditioning" or "mother moving back home" for upto 10k before it's over

Mate ...there will be 200 blokes reading this and laughing. This is exactly how it starts and you're already trying to justify it to yourself. Im guessing shes already asked or hinting. Oh and she wont ask straight out. She'll relay some tale of misforune and ask you what you think she should do? Usually after 2 weeks (if they can wait that long) and first request between 10 & 20k. What they consider a token "teaser" or starter amount. The requests will come more frequently and for ever increasing amounts. You will be telling urself your girls different. I'm sure they have a bar girl school in Pattaya somewhere because their stories, patter and approach are always nearly the same. Dating a girl in your own country the possibility of slinging her some cash wouldn't even enter into your mind or alarm bells would be ringing. Its not Isaan or Thai culture...its bar girl culture. Not belittling you, many of us have been there and also didn't listen. These girls are great fun. Like going out with your best mate and going home with a supermodel. But it's not real. Enjoy it while it lasts but don't take it seriously. She may genuinely like you and all that but she will be grooming you. It's in her nature

I know this is completely a possibility, and something I have read about. But as it stands she knows that I'm a broke english-teacher-in training, going from one month to the next. We've been together for over 2 months... Would she really be grooming someone broke for 2 months? If she is... She's stupid

Thanks a lot for all your responses.

If anyone is interested in an update... I really took on board villagefarrangs' advice. She's most likely a hooker, but I can't provide for her so I'm not going to get in the way of her making her money.

Our relationship is going well as an open relationship

It seems she wants the comfort of a normal relationship while she keeps doing whatever it is she does at night and that's fine with me. I want a normal relationship on the side while I can still enjoy Bangkok and everything it has to offer

I'm being promiscuous but in a way that doesn't rub it in her face or make her lose face.

If she does ever ask me to help out financially, I will not pay more than 10,000 baht.

mate all was well with that view until you mentioned 10k baht. Don't even go there! As soon as you said she didn't want money I thought these are the smart girls who always end up costing u the most. They are experts at increasing your 10000 min to 50k in weeks. ....and then ur hopelessly in the hook. A very very well trodden path as most here will tell u

When I say 10k baht, I don't mean 10k baht a pop. I just mean that I would be willing to help out with "broken air conditioning" or "mother moving back home" for upto 10k before it's over

Thanks a lot for all your responses.

If anyone is interested in an update... I really took on board villagefarrangs' advice. She's most likely a hooker, but I can't provide for her so I'm not going to get in the way of her making her money.

Our relationship is going well as an open relationship

It seems she wants the comfort of a normal relationship while she keeps doing whatever it is she does at night and that's fine with me. I want a normal relationship on the side while I can still enjoy Bangkok and everything it has to offer

I'm being promiscuous but in a way that doesn't rub it in her face or make her lose face.

If she does ever ask me to help out financially, I will not pay more than 10,000 baht.

You seem to have a pragmatic approach to the whole thing. I don't think you are wrong telling her to want an open relationship considering both of your situations.

She knows the score, so as long as you don't get into shouting matches and through her profession (whether dancer or floor girl) in her face, she will likely go along with it. There may come a time in the future when you can both offer each other more, but that time is definitely not now.

Thanks for your response. Yeah she has gone along with our relationship being open, I think she might also realise it's unrealistic for us to be exclusive. Yeah I plan to stay with her and see where the future takes us.

Simply consider her a plaything, and get on with your life. See her on occasion, and have fun with her. But, if she cannot be honest with you, what do you guys really have? She sounds like lover material, not GF material. At least on the face of it.

Yeah you're right, without trust, there is no foundation for a relationship. That's the main reason I'm keeping our relationship open for now

"Live and let live". the emphasis is on...."Live"..................... Life is too short

Great advice

I had many relationships like this during my twenty years as a single guy in Bangkok. Just enjoy yourself and don’t try to turn it into something it isn’t. If you feel the need to fool around because she is a working girl, just make sure you don’t do it in a way which will make her lose face. Don’t sleep with her friends or girls where she works, don’t tell her what you are doing and don’t ask too many questions about what she is doing. Try not to get in the way of her making money since you are not providing that for her. She probably needs some semblance of a normal relationship to balance what she does for work but you need to play along or let her find that with someone else.

Thank you very much for your answer, very wise advice

Remember that one of your main attractions is your newness and naiveté. You are not yet jaded, cynical, judgmental and accusatory and once you lose that you become less attractive.

Thanks, I'll remember that

I had many relationships like this during my twenty years as a single guy in Bangkok. Just enjoy yourself and don’t try to turn it into something it isn’t. If you feel the need to fool around because she is a working girl, just make sure you don’t do it in a way which will make her lose face. Don’t sleep with her friends or girls where she works, don’t tell her what you are doing and don’t ask too many questions about what she is doing. Try not to get in the way of her making money since you are not providing that for her. She probably needs some semblance of a normal relationship to balance what she does for work but you need to play along or let her find that with someone else.

Thank you very much for your answer, very wise advice

Morality, seriously?

I hear this kind of thing from guys all over the world marry the "good" nice virginal type girl....then 5 years later they are complaining she never puts out, or they never get a BJ cos she thinks its disgusting. Course, then the "good" girls get into their thirties, after decade or so holding it back, all builds up, then al of a sudden they are trying to shag every damn thing.

Why the assumptions thag a bar girl is less or more likely to be a good mother, why the assumption a regular girl isnt going to end up taking you for more money, less likely to cheat.

These are all assumptions, based mainly on how pissy you get thinking some other guy/guys getting pleasured by her....Jealousy

You going to make life long decisions based on jealousy first?

Sounds kind of idiotic to me

And no one, no one, the girl, her family, other falangs regardless of what they say to your face are not going to believe you dont try sneak in some soapy massage place or the like, every chance you get..even if you actually dont

I do think generalisations can be drawn from peoples professions, your talking about the lifestyle habits they've been living, the peer group they've been around and picked up beliefs from. But at the same time, it's good to be open minded, give everyone a chance, give them your trust until they prove otherwise

I have made tragic mistakes looking at "it from her perspective." Among the greatest mistakes I foolishly told myself was wisdom, was rationalizing her cheating as "...holy crap. She wasn't cheating on me with him after all. She knew him first. She was cheating on him with me." We can rationalize any view we assign as "her perspective."

Another delusion to be aware of is where you offer that "she is young. I am not perfect either. Who am I to expect someone to arrive in my life perfect?" If you have a standard and its not her standard, beware.

Solid advice, it's so easy to rationalise once you are infactuated with a girl. It's like our inner reptilian brain makes the decision and our logical brain follows

Ben_Troll_Spray.jpg

I wish some posts were scrutinized and restricted as much as some of our replies are.

Not trolling in anyway, I think just somethings which might seem obvious to people who have lived here 2+ years, might not be obvious to someone like myself who has lived here for 2 months

My mate here tells me she's a working girl- talks good English, has a tattoo, posts slutty pictures on social media, went home with me on the first night, shows cleavage, wears a lot of makeup at work and has working friends.

Give me her facebook/line and I'll check if I can do her for free or some bahts involved.

If she doesn't take the money, you know she's a good girl.

Aw that's really kind of you, thank you for taking your time to help me out like that

Tattoos, works in a place where sex is sold, slutty pictures,shows cleavage. Listen to your mate, he is right IMO. Sounds like a working girl who quite likes you. She is giving you freebies. As long as you can also play up, then why not?

I bet this will have a bad ending though. She will probably get jealous when you get another girl, go crazy and then tell you it is different because she likes you but the other blokes she f...s are only customers.

Being poor has nothing to do with it IMO. there are plenty of poor people who don't f... for cash. It is her morals. Nobody in Thailand has to do it despite what they tell you. If that were the case, how do fat or ugly girls survive. Or poor men? Hookers do it for the same reasons the do in richer countries, they want to be rich, are too lazy to work a normal job or because they are drug addicts.

Now she isn't asking for cash, and buying shots (also not a sign of a good girl) etc because she has some cash. As soon as she has a problem and is broke she will ask you. Just a matter of time.

Of course I could be completely wrong. Everyone is different.

Wear a condom.

Thanks, another insightful response. Yes I am aware that she might ask for money in future, and I probably would help her out to an extent.

About whether it's her being poor or her morals, I think it is different case by case. Maybe some get into it because of their family but get used to the lifestyle

Is this a topic started by a "Control Freak" ?

Suspect the Western ladies have him sussed which why the Thai ladies are now being harassed.

Not a "Control Freak" but after several red flags I would be a blind fool to assume nothing was going on

listen to your mate

Yes absolutely, love is blind as they say and sometimes a mate can see what you can't

She's a hooker, she's with a customer.

That isn't cheating, that's working.

She's with you because you "hansum man", she loves you, you're the boyfriend.

You can only go with another girl, if the girl pays you for sex.

Then you would be working, which would be OK.

Thanks a lot for your insight, I appreciate it

asus zenfone 2 laser either 5, 5.5 or 6 inch, removeabe battery 13mp camera, as good as a samsung but a third of the price.

The megapixel of the camera actually has little to do with quality of the camera, as almost all are overkill on the megapixels. And there are many more factors which influence camera quality. The best way to decided camera quality is to look at reviews and images taken by that camer

Old versions of iphones are good value in Thailand with high quality cameras. And you can still buy them new, I recently got a 16bg iPhone 5S for 11,000baht in terminal 21

My favourite is this one that comes in the white tins at 7-11, the one in spring water, I like it because its not oily or salty. Also the tuna is high quality, pink tuna