Buki

Sadly, they said to me that most Brits didn't seem particularly interested in being friends with them.

Fk

thats really interesting note. I have the same feeling here. I even thought that locals are not interested in being friends me for a particular reason. I really don't know, maybe I look like a Thai or they never had the previous experience of meeting a Filipino. It's sometimes frustrating, I really want to have many friends here, since I see myself living here for a long time.

I'm curious. I would like to know the people in the neighborhood. Do you know the people in the neighborhood?

Tell me something about you...

------------------------------------------------------

I am Buki, the bum.

is 28.

is a Filipino.

is a capricorn.

is happily committed for 7 years.

is looking for friends.

is bored with his life now.

is now waiting for your replies.

is

Well, Buki, if you can introduce me, I wouldn't mind meeting a group of gay Filipino guys. Mabuhay!

"Steven"

sureness. but im the only gay filipino in the village as of now.

It seemed to me your previous message was questioning why O. was dating me. My reply was to emphasize, as I have repeatedly done on this thread, that the attraction was physical. I've already posted the evidence for this multiple times, so if you want more detail you'll just have to re-read the thread.

And my point is: NOT only in Thailand. NOT only in Thailand. In Japan, there are two or three (out of a total of 4-5) gay magazines published monthly- thick, telephone-directory-sized magazines- which specialize either in readers who are attracted to big men or readers who are attracted to older (very old) men. The "Bear" community in the U.S. is alive and well, as is the "Daddy" community. There is someone for everyone, and NOT only in Thailand.

"Steven"

Incidentally, you may or may not be aware that conditions are very similar in your native country, which I have visited a number of times. I had many good times with great friends in the Philippines, and was never asked for money. A friend of mine from Bacolod recently sent me photos of himself with some of the Thai athletes staying at his hotel.

So, are you guapo, or would that be guapa?

"Steven"

of course the "bear" and "daddy" communties are alive and kickin. I know that very fact, since I have read, seen and heard from the internet, movies and magazine all about it. I can vouch for the daddies that support my fellow unfortunate brethens in my native country, but not for the "bear" types. but, I would not say that it is similar conditions in the Philippines, since I am a native of that country and I know more of the happenings of the Filipino gay communities.

Farangs are not so many in my country compared here or in Japan. I tell you, when you get there, everybody looks at you either in amazement or bewilderment. It is not popular in the Philippines to date old foreigner unless you are desperate to get out of the country or you need the money(everyone wants to get out of my country. either be a nurse, work in the middle east - if you can afford the education, if not just marry a foreigner) . This time I am speaking as a Filipino, not other asians. You may say, old, young, fat, thin... they are all fine in dating, yes as long as you are white and you have the dough. Call me negative, call me nasty, call me pessimestic, but this is true. Some can argue that this is baloney, that it has not happened to me or to any of my friends. Any foreigner can say that all he wants, but they are not in our shoes. Though its a two way traffic here, they ask for your money... and the provider always ask something in return. Now for the fortunate ones, they do not want to go there. Either they date their own kind or they explore their cultural friendships with foreigners. Percentage of couples like this are very low, its frown upon by my culture and it is even frown upon the the gay community. I know that there will be a lot of men who would be angry reading this post, but this is a sad reality in my country. Perhaps it is different here, different in Japan, differerent in the states but it will always be like that in the Philippines.

-----------------------------

oh I'm both guapo and guapa. lol

I think you are projecting your own tastes with regards to age, body, etc. onto O. and assuming they must be universal. A lot of guys who are/are attracted to "clone" gay muscleboy types have this problem. I have mentioned in this thread before that I am a large man (I'm being polite; a rude person might call me fat).

Yet, in my dating life, I have never been without someone. I have always, always found someone who liked me- including in other countries where the question would not have been about money at all. So trust me: big guys do ok. Small guys do ok. Medium guys do ok. Young and old do ok. We do ok because, as I mentioned, there is someone (sometimes lots of someones) for everyone.

I freely admit, for example, that the number of guys who are interested in heavy farang is smaller than the number of guys who are interested in medium build farang. Heck, in my experience the ratio might be as small as 1 or 2 out of 10 gay Thai guys- that still leaves me, by my most conservative estimation, 300,000 gay Thai guys who will prefer me to a medium-built man. At one a week, it will only take me about 6000 years to date them all.

O. is not completely honest with anyone, I think, although I believe there's a strong chance now that he's more honest with me than anyone else. I am quite sure that whomever he has cheated with was also a large foreign man- that's his type. The issue here is one of fidelity/honesty, not pretended affection. Or, in other words, the attraction was physical. I'm sorry if it's difficult for you to understand; I would assume from reading this thread that you know I am not one to sugarcoat matters.

"Steven"

interesting, am I projecting a specific body type or age. I wasn't even marketing a specific one. I even generalized that dating comes with complications, whatever age and whomever you are dating. I have not even put your ex in a certain category, may it be directly or indirectly. Like I said, whatever his preference is, it is him who knows it. And I was sincere, about saying that he is COOL to like someone in a particular body type. I should know about it, since I am not the mascular type myself and my boyfriend stuck with me until now, because it wasn't the issue nor his preference. Like you said there is someone for everyone.

Was the message of knowing of intentions of dating sending a negative understanding? We all have our intentions of dating. Whatever reasons, it is yours and your own.

Your estimation of Thai guy dating a large guy is fairly impressive. Kudos to you! And I have never argued over that preference. 6000 years huh? Do you think I got those years. Wow. Only in Thailand.

Sir, you can never tell anyone's honesty, applying in general, but my statement is argueable, since it is subjective. Even your understanding on your ex honesty is still in question because your betting it on chance. I am not saying that all his feelings was done in pretense or even a portion of it. All I'm saying why is he keeping his honesty.

But to your credit, I cannot argue about O.'s merits and demerits; and his feelings since he is your ex. not mine. You know him best.

What you say about MB's is true as far as it goes, but this thread is not about an MB. I would also say that of those "students" you are referring to online, that many of them might also fall into a category that is not quite the MB zone- more sort of "kept" boys.

I would put the problem between O. and I more in terms of fidelity/honesty issues along with lifestyle choices. Both of us are/were very headstrong but at the same time very attracted to each other. The age difference is significant but not extreme, and while dating people more than 4-5 years different in age brings with it certain complications, it can also have advantages for both partners. There are many Thais who prefer to date older (sometimes *much* older) foreign men exclusively, and though they have the choice of younger Thais, or even younger foreigners, they don't.

My ex-, O., is very popular among Thais. He has bragged to me before that many of the very popular and attractive bar and restaurant staff at gay establishments in Bangkok have come on to him. But he's not interested- they're not, ahem, large enough to interest him, really. So there's someone for everyone. We don't get to choose who attracts us sexually, so that's lucky for all of us.

"Steven"

yes of course, this is not a thread about MBs. Though some see that there is a clear and distinct line between a MB and kept boy, but basically, both are just the same. They want something better to happen to their lives. May it be materialsitically, getting a degree and a life of convenience. What make it more common is that they get their needs from farangs. I say toMAYto and they say ToMAHto.

Dating younger, older or the same ages comes with complications, tell me about anyone who doesnt have complications about dating? So still no difference. What you had with your ex is one of the many complications of dating his age AND that might even happen to anybody whose dating different age ranges also. I still go for the intentions of dating. Why do you want to date this person and why this person want to date you. I have been in the dating scene for sometime and I am lucky to find my partner. But before he came, there was always the reality check. A lot of questions of WHY.

He wasn't honest with you, was he also honest with the person who sending him money? Was he honest with the other people that he talked with? If that is the issue with him, then... you start to check and ask, why... why.... why. and I presume that you have your answers based on the reality that you have seen and know. no sugarcoating and going around the bush. As I said, it hurts but its true.

like I said, guys would say anything to please anybody. But if he was telling the truth about his preference and was sincere about it. Then he is one a million. Whatever reasons why he choose to date some his senior is its own. He can give you a million excuses and reasons. Only him knows.

But are these Filipino groups you frequent *gay* groups? If not, are you able to be "out" to them?

"Steven"

yes, its a gay group. but I am also involved in a straight group and I am out to them. They are open to these kind of things, and often asks relationship problems and how to solve them if it happened to my gay relastionship. Maybe I give them another perspective in solving problems. and they love it.

I enjoyed reading some of threads. and I have come to some short realization of the relationships that is happening here in LOS. This purely subjected. You may agree or disagree.

1. Older gay men are attracted to younger thais... may it be money boys (mostly are) or some other young lads that they meet on the streets, department stores, suanas, through a friend or anywhere else.

2. Money boys know how to play with your feelings, they know what you want to hear. Their game face includes a little sad story and little affection, which usually gets the trick for most gay men who are desperately looking for love in the wrong places. Some say its sincere, even another money boy would vouch that he is really true.

3. I have read so many profiles (70 to 80%) of young thai men saying they are looking for a foreigner for friendship or more, who can help them with their studies and bring them a good life. So a farang is their passport to poverty.

4. Why can' t older guys have relations with another older guy? Is it about the sex or the physical attraction? There can be sex.. I feel its more on companionship and love for each other which is more important when you go through the years. I have a boyfriend of 7 years, we are about of the same age. I don't mind getting old with him. Some relationships of older guy and younger one may work, but its just a small percentage. You can bring them home, marry them, give them citizenship.. then dumps you in the long process for the new found freedom.

5. Reality sucks and it hurts badly.

Seriously folks, I just hate when good guys get trapped in this kind of web. Nobody is to be blamed, since it was a personal choice for each. For whateve reasons why WE all go through this kind of situations, lets just hope that the next time something like this happens, we know what to do.

all my love to all gay men in thailand.

I find Filipinos tend to stick together and they don't seem to integrate very well with others. That's just my observation. I did meet one gay Filipino in Bangkok a year or so ago. A really nice guy, with a good teaching job, though he was a little eccentric.

My small gay circle of friends consists of a few Thais and no Caucasians. I personally don't need to surround myself with people and I am very happy with my own company. The farangs, where I live, seem to ignore each other. I always think they are embarrassed or ashamed of something. The few straights I know from work are pleasant enough, but we have nothing in common so I tend to avoid socializing with them.

I’m sure many would consider my life to be very lonely, which on the surface it would appear that way, but for me I’m very content. One of the good things about Thailand is that you can always find somebody to talk to if you want some company. Whenever I do venture out there always seems to be someone wanting to have a conversation with me. Smiling of course always makes someone more approachable.

i guess we are like that since we are in a foreign country. And basically, it is easier to relate to each other because we belong to the same country. Culturally, our family system is a support system, vice versa. So when you see a small group of Filipinos, they dont only consider themselves as friends, but a one family. We tend to look out for each other. That explains it all. Wherever you go, there always a small Filipino community. but there is a downside to it, when you stick too much to your group, there always be personality clashes. Its the same with the gay group also in the Philippines. Personally, I think it would easier for a foreigner to get a long with a Filipino, we tend to very flexible in some matters. They are really friendly, if you take it individually. Nothing wrong with it anyways.

thanks for sharing. I also read somewhere in this forum that they paid some fees (5oo baht) and there was another one that states that if your pet as excess baggage, you dont need to pay import fees and other fees.

I have a question, where you vacationing on a specific number of days (less than 6 months?) I read that if you are, you dont need to pay some fees but if you are staying for more than six months, you need to pay something.

i'm bit confused.

I can understand the confusion, because we had asked around so much that we didn't know what to do anymore!

Our dogs travelled as excess bagage, not cheap about 50 euro per kilo! No import fees or what so ever. If you send them as cargo, it is much cheaper but the dog might not be on the same plane! Maybe then you will need to pay import fee? By the way, we live in Thailand, so not on vacation, but they didn't ask us about it at the vetoffice on the airport.

i know. So many people are saying this and that. 50 euros per kilo? Wow. thats mighty expensive. I did try to check my airline carrier, its about $9 per kilo. I got mini dachshund, so she will probably weigh plus the cage, about 12 kilos or something.

I will have to arrange for him to arrive on a weekday on a morning or afternoon, where their thaivet is around. I heard stories about arriving very late, and the thaivet was already off. So passanger had to get a private vet to check her pets, and got more expensive that it is.

I say a "yes" and a "no" on the cultural aspect of cleanliness. Yes, as a fellow asian myself and living in this kind of temperature, it is but understandable that I take a bath before going out the house and even take a bath before retiring to bed. The polution and heat makes me sweaty. And parents, special asian mothers, also strictly taught us to be clean always, nagged about making our beds, brushing our hairs and all those stuff. In my home country, it was rather rude for anyone to come to work or school, not taken a bath and it is very embarrasing. I hear complains from locals about farangs that smells and talked about not taking a bath. But I guess that needs a cultural answer too.

The NO part, is about individuality. There are many factors where person can be clean and not so clean. Priorities, if it is more importatnt than earning or is earning important than keeping a clean house. It depends. I know some people who didnt have the time or will to keep their place clean because of many reasons, valid or invalid.

hi, my boyfriend will be bring our pet duchshand next month. What does he need to prepare and how much money do we need to pay. and what is best way to go through the process without any hassles.

We brought our dogs in 2004 from the Netherlands. We only needed the rabiescertificate and a certificate of health (it was legalised by the Dutch cattle & meat government department. I don't know if you have such an organisation in your country). The dog will arrive on the bagagebelt where you collect him and then go to the vetoffice at the airport (near to the bagagebelt). They only took the papers and we could take the dogs! No money involved! I don't know if they have changed the rules by now. Good luck!

thanks for sharing. I also read somewhere in this forum that they paid some fees (5oo baht) and there was another one that states that if your pet as excess baggage, you dont need to pay import fees and other fees.

I have a question, where you vacationing on a specific number of days (less than 6 months?) I read that if you are, you dont need to pay some fees but if you are staying for more than six months, you need to pay something.

i'm bit confused.

If the other guy admitted that he came over for the pussy, can I admit that I came over for the dick?

Not claiming; just asking.

i'll claim for the dick LOL kidding

uhm.. I came here for the gay men.

Hi y'all. Does anyone know an apartment/townhouse that allows pet dogs to stay? I can live without my dog. So its rather important for us to find a good place to stay.

Where do you want to live ?????Bkk is a big place also see my ad in classified section , we allow pets ,

can you give me a link. im having a hard time looking for it.

hi, my boyfriend will be bring our pet duchshand next month. What does he need to prepare and how much money do we need to pay. and what is best way to go through the process without any hassles.

Buki, of course Filipinos are welcome to post here, but for your sake, I hope you don't resemble your gap-toothed avatar!

A friend of mine founded the Filipino Male Nurse's Association (or at least a Texas chapter of it), and he was gay. He fit in fine with the Whites and Asians in Houston (we almost dated, but that's quite another story!).

Welcome!

Thanks for the welcome.

of coure, I don't look like my avatar. He is far more goodlooking. LOL

Yeah, its easier to fit-in in the states. But when you are here, culturally, it difficult. Even, in my country, foreigners stay with their kind. But I want to prove that mentality wrong. We can get along well with anybody and with anyone.

my gay friend told me sauna (as babylon) is kindof the maze ..is it true?

bambi

not true... in Suana Mania near Convent... is a maze.

seriously. Whatever works for you.

but. would that make you and your partner happy. You just cant go back from the closet and to think we spend our lifetime trying to figure out of coming out. Think about it.

I will hold my boyfriends hands walking down the streets or have dinner in public. What they see is what they get. Back home, my students were more curious about why we lasted this long and why we love each other. It might be different here, but sooner or later, they will be educated and realize that these kind of situations does and will exist.

it is rather lonely to be in a foreign country. I am Filipino (i hope you guys are ok for me to join and post) and looking for better oppurtunities here in BKK. I had a very solid circle of gay friends back home, and now I am here, its not the same. I am just glad that my bf will follow suit by Feb., I wont be that lonely. But I am still looking for friends. the one I can talk to, watch movies, bitch around, shop and whatever. Thai guys have their own circle. White men have their own. Now as for me, I just wonder.

true. I am non-thai asian and I still feel racism with some of the thai. I always get a frown from some of the receptionist from some offices. That irked me mostly. Back in my home country, when somebody cuts the line, poor and rich, always get mouth lashing from all the people in the queue. If I was there, I could have said something very fast and in English. I am very polite to all thais and non-thais, but when someone gets out of the boundaries of courtesy and respect, thats a different story.

But i have a thing for rude farangs also. I know this russian woman, who was so rude with the waiter because there wasnt any English menu. OMG! Is that their fault that She can't understand Thai and she should think that SHE is in Thailand, not in MOSCOW. We should know our places.

Hi All

I've agreed to help teach my gfs' brother english. He is currently studying at high school.

My problem is I've never taught english to anyone before, so I'd appreciate any hints and tips you can give me (lesson planning etc etc) I know its not going to be an easy task, but I want to try and to do it properly!

thanks in advance

kc

The basics for language teaching is to asses first the levels of your student (the brother of your gf that is). Check his abilities in the different areas of English. Speaking, Reading, Listening, writing (includes grammar) and his comprehension of the topics. You can do that by formulating your own exam. If you don't know how to make one, you can buy TOEFL or TOEIC test booklet and they usually give back the results. Second, needs assestments, ask your student what he wants to learn and from there you can plan your lesson incorporating the your own ideas that might be helpful to your students. Make your lessons fun and interesting and its important for your student to be motivated... ask his interests and such. I hope this helps. Good Luck!

Hi y'all. Does anyone know an apartment/townhouse that allows pet dogs to stay? I can live without my dog. So its rather important for us to find a good place to stay.