Jasmine

Can't recommend but BIG congratulations to you both

it's all about food. i miss so much food from home. last night i dreamt of fresh gingerbread with cream cheese frosting. might have to take a trip home for christmas.

LOL I remember when pregnant in Thailand I used to wake up dreaming of potatoes...I virtually lived in Delaneys on Silom eating their leek and potato soup...

Yes, food, people, cold weather wearing a coat and boots, washing machines, significant events, not having mozzie bites, no sand in my bed were what I missed...Now we are tied to the UK I miss...street food, sunshine, beaches, going barefoot all the time.....ah the grass is always greener for me!

hope respective moms get well soon

Now, you have a generation of women who don't really like men but don't really know why.

Are you sure about this? I bloody love men, so much so I even married one

You could ask for Visa advice in the Visa section of this forum. I got some good advice there from people who know their stuff

Berries, I think it is perfectly normal for a 'bi-lingual' toddler to have difficulties in talking.

All the kids I've seen(used to be a teacher here) were slow to talk. The experts say that they usually are behind other kids until about aged 7 or 8.

This is exactly what we were told and it was true for my daughter. When she started school at 4 I was really concerned because she seemed behind the other kids in her speech, now at 7 her speech is fine and there were never concerns at school

Agree with Boo

I felt horrendous when pregnant, nauseous, worn out, over emotional, I worried more than normal and just felt uncomfortable in general.

Some of us breeze through pregnancy and love it but some of us don't !

my generalizations piss people off because they hit close to home.

No they P*** people off because they come across as breathtakingly arrogant, maybe you don't intend them to but they do. Recently you told a memeber of this forum that you doubt her husband of 17 years is faithful to her, ok you've apologised for that but to make an assumption like that is completely out of order.

I've told my story on here before. I've been with my partner 10years , married 7. And just to prove the exception to the rule he was a beach boy although he moved to BKK, so we could be together for good, 5 months into our relationship. We have kids, one is severley disabled. Our whole lives have been affected by the sometimes 24 hour care our son needs. It's not easy and statistically many couples with disabled kids end up divorcing. Statistically the odds are stacked against us. We're still together and still in love.

The time and energy my husband has spent helping our son to be the best he can become, to achieve the small steps he does, when you watch that, that's what love is all about and he makes sure our other kids don't miss out too. That's nothing to do with nationality, thats to do with being a truly good human being. Sure he's not perfect but who is? I know I'm not

There's no window of time where either of us could fit in an affair. No violence, no drugs, no gambling in our relationship. At times I've been the breadwinner at others he's been the breadwinner.

Your comments don't piss me off because they hit close to home they piss me off because in my case they don't resemble anything like the man I'm married to.

Another question: those western women with Thai guys - was it a conscious decision to 'go Thai' or did it just happen? Most of my young, female friends definately made a conscious decision.

Not at all for me. When I came out to Thailand I'd just got out of a 5 year relationship in the UK so wasn't looking for any kind of relationship. When I met my husband I'd been in Thailand a year and had booked my one way flight back to the UK, the plan was to carry on teaching EFL in somehwere like Portugal or Spain but I never made it and spent a further 3 years in Thailand with my husband.

It wouldn't have mattered where he came from/what nationality he was, I fell for the person he is and not his nationality. We're still together 10 years later

Sorry Tourleadersi

My last paragraph wasn't directed at your comments just the first sentence about being in a job that involves travelling.

I had been annoyed by yet another recent thread slagging off Thai men

Myself and husband don;t fit into either of the KerryK categories, I suppose because we live in the UK

There are also older women married to Thai men. The Thai doctor who delivered our 1st child at Samitivej was married to a UK woman and they were both 50+ , I know of others.

I never ever thought about people thinking I'd 'bought' my husband until about a year ago when i saw an article in a UK women's magazine about UK women going to Thailand and paying for men. Thought that was gross and for a while worried that people might think that was the case for us!!! But I've got over that now

Tourleadersi I think the profession you're in most definitely facilitates infidelity whatever country you live in. Thai men get such a bad press on this forum (I couldn't contribute to the most recent Thai men are all unfaithful thread ) I;m not naieve as to what goes on and the different attitudes but really there are some good Thai men out there

Hi

I've been back in the UK for 6 years with my Thai husband, we moved back for similar reasons, we couldn't afford to send our kids to Internaional schools.

My husband has coped well here, held down a job, passed UK driving test, made friends both Thai and English, has a good social life. I can't pretend it's easy all the time, he misses his family and culture but because I'd spent 4 years living in BKK before we moved back I can relate to how he feels.

Cross-cultural relationships will always have their complications but it can be done. Plus my husband had a similar outlook to yours, he'd never been abroad anywhere before but he just gets on with it and accepts whatever life throws at him.

It won't all be plain sailing, but we do ok

As for the age at which to discuss these issues, you just have to get a feel for when your own kids are ready to grasp these issues. This will vary from family to family and very often from guys to girls...girls tend to mature at an earlier age than boys of course. The homosexuality issue should fit in with the rest of it I think and can be discussed at the same time.

I come from a family where non of this was ever discussed and wanted my daughter to be able to come to me if need be to discuss things openly. I feel that by doing so you establish an atmosphere where hopefully they will feel they are able to talk to you.

To bring this topic up with my daughter who had asked me how babies are made I got some age appropriate books about sex from our local library, they explain what it is at a level that the child can understand. TBH most kids seem to go 'oh ok' then carry on playing. My daughter has been back to ask other questions and I'm hoping this will continue into her teens. I've also eliminated the need for an excrutiating time of having to sit her down as an older child to discuss the birds and the bees, she knows basically what it is now.

We have gay friends who have been together for years and who just got married, they've always been around so it was easy to explain that they are a couple who love each other - again done at a level she can understand

I'm in ahurry so can't reply as fully as I'd like to t-b-b but I'm really interested in your post cos I have similar concerns.

We've just started our daughter (7) in a kung <deleted> class, for the reasons you describe, to help build her confidence and give her the skills to defend herself if ever she needed to. My mum always taught me to walk away but sometimes I wish I'd been a bit tougher

When it comes to verbal abuse I'm not sure either, maybe if somebody verbally wounds you it is ok to wound them back (with words) afterall do they deserve it?

Or do you teach them to be the bigger person and that usually people say bad things because of their own feelings of self-loathing/inadequacy and that they shouldn't lash back... I dont know...

I would have to agree with Sriracha John on this. I taught at an Assumption School (primary) and found the use of corporal punishment excessive (hit with sticks for really minor offences like forgetting to bring a book to class).

Also I don't know how it is today but when I worked there, there were 70 kids in each class.

My husband's been in the UK for over 6 years now. He did English classes in the first year as others have suggested.

As far as meeting other Thai's go the restaurant community has proved invaluable. Could your wife work part time in one? I'm amazed at how many Thai people there are in our area. There are more Thai men here than I imagined there would be too.

Some have become good friends of my husband but as Guesthouse mentions just because someone's from your country doesn't mean you'll get on with them (I know this myself from my time as an ex-pat )

I also think charity work is a good idea and I know of a few Thai women who have worked in care homes for the elderly which I thought was admirable too

PATHETIC

It is probably more they think you are a pedophile than any kind of jealousy over your fabulous physique I'm with thaipwriter on this one.

Don't you think this works both ways SBK? My Thai husband is nearly 40 now and looks just as he did in his 20's. Not an ounce of body fat, defined muscles, no wrinkles, full head of hair etc etc..

I think we westerners don't age as well as Thai's and that's male and female. I went to University reunion recently and some of the men were unrecognizable from 15 years ago, paunchy stomachs, bald or thinning hair, hair in ears and nose etc.

I'm sure I'll be accused of being a bed-breaker for saying this but just thought it might be worth pointing out this goes both ways

Thanks for all the replies and links.

Have followed up the info you all gave and it seems a bit less daunting now

Thanks everyone I really appreciate your help.

I have to say I agree with atlastaname. I do think the test looks quite hard. I'm not saying my husband is thick but he isn't particularly academic (left school at 16).

My husband's dad was an English speaking tour guide in the early 80's, all his siblings speak English with one other being married to a farang female and he worked on Samet with tourists for 10 years so he has reasonable spoken English. He also managed to pass the UK written driving test but I just think he might struggle with this....could be wrong???

Do any of you know a Thai person who has taken the test or joined up to the ES0L lessons? And if so what did they make of it?

Thanks again

Thanks Vinny and Moss

Do you mean this book?

Someone told me there are some sample/practice tests on the internet, does anybody know if this is true?

Sorry if this has been done to death or I've posted in the wrong section but I just don't know where to start.

I'm married to a Thai man (married 1999)and we have lived in the UK since 2000 with our kids.

We want to apply for British Nationality for him/British passport etc. I'm really confused about how to go about this and this new test/compulsory ESOL lessons thing.

Hoping someone can point me in the right direction. Thanks in advance.

I think that you are all lucky that your children are able to communicate,verbally,with you , their parents.

My daughter is mentally disabled and unable to communicate to my wife(Thai) and myself (British) VERBALLY.

Sorry to put a damper on your topic, but just step back ,sometimes ,and put in perspective ,what is trivial !

Err if you read my post you would see that I also have 1 mentally disabled child who is still non-verbal at age 6, growing up in a bil-lingual family.

I don't think this thread was meant to make those of us with disabled kids feel bad, just a discussion about language development. However I totally understand that sometimes it's hard. My boy is just starting to use some sign language. We had no communication from him until very recently.

I'm thinking your daughter might have the same condition as my son ??? ASD?

Take Care

I find this fascinating too.

I'm from the UK, my husband is Thai. We have 2 kids and live in the UK.

Our daughter lived for 1 year in thailand and her first words were in Thai. We've lived in the UK since 2000 and she speaks mostly English despite her dad's attempts to talk to her in Thai.

She understands a lot of Thai vocabulary but can't put it all together and she also understands more Thai than she can speak. We have a Learn Thai CDRom designed for adults wanting to learn Thai for our pc which she plays and does really well on but she rarely speaks in Thai.

I think this is common in a lot of mixed R'ships but we mix up Thai and English in 1 sentence eg 'I ja go out now' (That' not the best example but hope you know what I mean). My daughter is always putting past tense 'ed' onto the end of Thai verbs which makes me laugh too.

I feel a bit sad that my daughter didn't get the full benefit of being bilingual. I think if we'd lived in Thailand she would have picked up both languages more easily. There is little use for Thai over here.

My other child is non-verbal age 6 (long story ) He also has limited understanding/mental impairment but he has followed instructions in both languages!

Can you get melatonin in Thailand?

It's only available on prescription in the UK but I think you can buy it over the counter in the US.

Not sure of it's side effects though if taken long term. I'm in the UK and my son is prescribed it, been taking it for 3 years. It sends him off to sleep but doesn't always keep him asleep

We spent 2 months apart when my daughter was 5-7 months old. I took a long holiday in the UK and we couldn't afford 2 flights after spending up on the birth in Samitivej!!!

The one thing I will warn you about is that child number 2 was conceived the night I arrived back in Thailand

Seriously, I'm sure it will be ok. Sometimes needs must and as Boo says you're doing this for all the right reasons

Another problem that can occur if the woman is the breadwinner is when you have kids.

I was into my career, and always thought after having a baby I'd happily go back to work. Wasn't expecting to experience the maternal pull so strong.

Doesn't hit every woman in the same way, some of my mates couldn't wait to get back to work after having kids but if it gets you and you're the breadwinner it can be tough financially and emotionally