Jasmine

BKK Goddess

I personally would avoid asking relationship advice on a forum such as this.

When you get involved with a Thai man there are SO many people out there who will tell you that your man is a 'liar', 'cheat' 'gambler' 'only interested in you for your money' blah blah.

They will tell you this even though they've never met either of you. You'll get paranoid if you listen to it all.

You have to find out for yourself, trust your instincts, he may or may not be a good 'un

There are plenty of women in long lasting relationships with Thai men, you just don't hear about them so much. I suspect this is because a lot of us are 35+ in age and not a part of the 'scene' as it were, but we are out here

Good Luck

Well said Sylva

I get so bored of people who've never met my husband telling me he must be having an affair simply because he's from thailand

Also this notion that all women are sat at home 'standing by their man' in a Tammy Wynette kind of way.

Relationships come in many different forms. There are women who turn a blind eye to their husbands sleeping with other women cos they've gone off them sexually and are relieved they are getting it elsewhere but they want to keep the marriage together for the sake of the kids.

Sometimes both partners have an agreement about extra-marital relationships.

And some people do have happy monogomous relationships.

You never know what goes on in someone elses relationship or what agreements they have going on. These things do go on.

Some curious fun for all here.

My father-in-law thinks I should have a Thai name. My Chinese teacher always calls me by the Chinese name she gave me in class. Should we take on a name of a culture if we plan on being apart of it for a long time?

You could select your name using the lucky letters theory.

When both my kids were born Thai father-in-law gave us a book which helped us work out which letter sounds were lucky for the day they were born on and gave suggestions for names that incorporated those letters.

Can anyone tell me when does morning sickness normaly occur in pregnancey? I have been feeling ill for a bout 3 weeks starting shortly after taken the second batch of pills and and asummed that it has been an emediate effect. However after doing a bit of reading on the net it seems that morning sickness develops after 3-4 weeks. Does anyone have any experience with this. I am worried that I may be further pregnant than I originaly asumed.

I started with nausea and morning sickness after I was just 1 week late. So don't worry about the 3-4 weeks thing.

My husband worked in his familys bar/restaurant when we lived in Thailand, now works in a Thai restaurant in the UK

Hi and Congrats on the baby

I'm a farang female married to a Thai who had my first baby in BKK.

My mum-in-law was from BKK not Isaan but she insisted on this heat thing too. Apparently it helps you to heal. When she came to visit us at home she heated up bricks in the oven wrapped them in banana leaves and pummelled me all over with them

She also hinted that farang pooying must be big girls blouses cos I could only tolerate these bricks at a certain heat and that Thai girls can withstand higher temperatures ( my bloody skin was coming off) She also provided me with lots of spandex cycling short type garments to help me get my stomach back into shape!

Had my next child in the UK where there was no such fun

Why the comment about taking him to the clinic?? I wouldn't demand that an american man go to the clinic....unless I was concerned.....why should make a Thai man go....there's got to be more behind that comment, in your opinion, yes?

The implication in that comment is that all Thai men are sleeping with hundreds of prostitutes (and other men apparently) and therefore have STD's and possibly HIV.

When I first started seeing my (Thai)husband I listened to lots of these comments and scared myself witless. I insisted we got HIV etc tests before we slept together and a follow up one 6 months later. Had I actually listened to my parner and not these people I would have realised he was telling me the truth about his past. Tests were all clean of course

It makes sense to check out anyones past before sleeping with them whatever their nationality. The person who made that comment to you states that he prefers women who have slept with 1000 men cos they're more experienced on another thread so I'm guessing he practices what he preaches

Farang married to a Thai living in UK with our kids since 2000. It's our 7th wedding anniversary later this month

I lived and worked in BKK 1996-2000

(English mentalitiy I suppose, it isn't an English name so lets make it as complicated as possible to say, instead of reading the letters & forming the word!!!)

This is the problem I have with my husband's surname. It is short and pronounced exactly as it looks but everyone makes a meal out of it and people often ask if it's Eastern European???

I took his surname largely because I never liked my own! My husband wasn't bothered either way.

I do get bored of having to spell it out all the time. Also as it's unusual ie we're the only people in the UK with the surname I sometimes feel it makes you stand out.

I agree about the doubling-barreling. It used to be seen as quite "posh" but now everone's doing it

but in saying that in some cases I put myself in position that I never would have done had I been back home in NZ (e.g. I was walking home from the skytrain by myself at midnight when the attempted mugging took place - never would have walked alone at that time of night in NZ).

I agree Sylva, with hindsight I put myself in situations I wouldn't back home. I must have had a guardian angel, the worst thing I encountered was a persistant flasher who would lay in wait down a quiet soi my friend and I had to walk down to get to our apartment from the school we worked at.

And we knew something about the culture ie when we were going to start a days work at school at 7.00am in our black cocktail dresses we were at least wearing tights underneath ( sorry, see the appropriate dressing thread ) !!!

I would much rather have my child grow up here, with all the above than in the UK where this doesnt happen but actually my child would be in more danger.

I agree that threat of violence is more obvious in the UK but I can think of pros and cons for either place. One of our kids is disabled and sadly there's is no contest about which country is a better place for us to raise him re: services, his education, financial help etc

That's not to say I would definitely have chosen the UK as a place to bring up kids if things had been different. Like I said everywhere has good and bad.

Interestingly in the light of the recent murder on Samui one of the daytime phone in programmes in the UK ran a phone in on an 'is it safe to let our children go backpacking in Thailand' theme. Of course most people phoning in were saying that things need to be put in perspective but some were saying it had put them off.

There was also a piece in the news that the FO had played down the fact that 9 Brits had been murdered in Thailand in the last 18 months. I know murder of tourists is off topic but I think it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking Thailand is a safer place because of the lack of violent attacks such as muggings. Like anywhere in the world it has it's fair share of unpleasant going ons.

Had good experiences at Bell Language Centre/contract

I don't doubt that it is stressful for mothers, but is a monster behind every gate?

I fully fess up to being a paranoid parent!! Don't get me wrong I love the way Thai's are such a child friendly culture. It definitely pays off too. I've taught in BKK and the UK and give me a class of Thai kids any day. The worst thing anyone ever did was turn up 10 mins late for class. In the UK being told to f*** off on a daily basis and the threat of physical violence are par for the course.

What bothered me most about the op was the child being taken out of the pram when the parents back was turned. I do think that's going too far and I'm not 100% sure (I may be wrong) that every Thai mother would be happy with that.

If its not germs your worried about, I'm not sure where you think the danger is, I haven't heard of a case of a gaggle of store assistants, waitresses etc... stealing farang babies.

I dunno Ben there was a case when a luk kreung was taken when I lived in BKK but this is a few years back now. I think she was a young girl who was a friend of the families maid. She took the child back to her apartment and it seems she just wanted to look after her cos she found the baby so cute. The baby was returned unharmed.

But can you imagine how the parents suffered for those 2 days?

I do think the op has a point. When it comes to my kids I'd much rather be safe than sorry.

That's when they are not wearing their black lace cocktail dresses.

LOL. That made me laugh! At the school I worked in the first lesson of the day was 7.50 am. All the mums would be dropping off their kids at 7.30 am dressed in cocktail dresses.

You start to feel underdressed. So when in Rome.....

My first child was born in Thailand and at birth looked more like her dad. She is now very much luk kreung much to my in-laws relief!

After I'd just had her I remember being in hospital thinking I'd given birth to possiblyTHE most beautiful baby on the planet (it's the hormones - when you look back at the photos later you realise all newborns look like sausages)! My charming step-mother in law barged in took one look at the baby and said "what a pity her eyes have only got one level (you know how they like that farang 2 level socket/brow thing) I don't like the name you've chosen cos it sounds Indian and (to me) now you are fat"

Good job I still couldn't move my legs from the epidural

She wasn't the only one who asked me if I was disappointed cos my baby looked Thai! Good job my son was born here in the UK he's so Thai looking, I've been asked loads of times if I'm his childminder or if he's adopted!

Seriously though I think the op has clearly had some bad experiences. It would make me uncomfortable too.

That said, not every guy working in a bar on an island is a "barboy".

I agree sbk. My husband was a 'barboy' on Samet. When I met him I'd been working as a teacher in BKK for a year so understood something of the culture and spoke reasonable (ish) Thai. His dad had been a tour guide in the eighties and his brother who owned the bar was married to a European so English was used within the family a lot.

I took a lot of flak from people (especially other teachers I worked with both male and female) about the nature of our relationship but I just 'knew' he was one of the good ones.

We live in the UK now, our youngest child has a severe disability and believe me I've seen enough marriages break down when there is a disabled child in the family without the added pressure of coming from opposite ends of the planet. He would never let me or the kids down

So there you go it can work out but I agree you need to have your head screwed on when getting into these relationships

Hi I'm new here

I've lived in the UK with my Thai husband since 2000 before that we lived in Bangkok and Samet. He's always worked here and has a good circle of Thai friends from the restaurant community male and female. He passed his driving test which gives him more independence.

He's made friends with other Brits through taking Thai boxing classes taught by an English guy who now stays with my husbands family whenever he goes to Bangkok They go down the pub after the class.

The social side hasn't been so much of a problem; because I lived in Thailand for 4 years I understand the need to spend time with people from your own culture on a regular basis. The main problem is the weather he hates the winters and really suffers with the cold!