johnray

I have no idea who he is but anyway don't drop the soap.

Studying for a Bachelor of Arts Business English

 

My age:  30 something.

 

After a few emails they quickly asked me to come in to take a look around.  I went in an met the head of the international college.  She is a really nice easy going lady.  She speaks excellent English.

 

I went to Laos to get the ED visa and paid the university.

 

All the students are Chinese and I am the only British person.  There are two American teachers.

 

It's actually quite amazing how hard the teacher work.  The students turn up with zero English ability.  Like nothing.  The students are aged 18, 19, 20+ and they don't know 'left and right' 'girl boy' 'he she' or the days of the week.

 

So these guys take about 6 months of intensive English language training, and they can speak confidently.

 

There is a lot of work to do.  The degree is 3 years instead of 5 so it is full time.  You get one day off a week but later on that disappeared and a few bits and bobs were put on the day off as well.

 

So the work load is heavy.  All the classes are 3 hours long and there is one guy that just decides to add an extra hour for some reason.  He basically does a 4 lesson.  I am suspecting that he gets paid more for it.  Either that or he just a sadist.

 

The classes start at 9 and you go home at 4.  One semester we started at 8 in the morning for a while on one day.

 

The rooms have AC but everyone keeps messing with it.  Knocking the grill up or even turning it off because it is too noisy.  Totally insane as the room is roasting hot.  It's not noisy but even if it was just use a mic and speak over it.  All the classrooms have a modern flat screen, projector and microphones.

 

The uniform is tight-fitting trousers, a tight white shirt, noisy dress shoes and a neck tie.  Very uncomfortable.

 

The hallways are hot and smell of sewage.  The food court is disgusting.  Cold tasteless food and again the room smells of sewage.

 

There are writing courses, formal writing, business writing, casual writing, faxes, emails, minutes, meetings.  Everything.  Then there is creative writing.  We then have the public speaking.  Impromptu speaking, speeches, eulogies, congratulatory speeches, introductions, business speeches.  There is also a ton of presentations.  It actually really hard to memorize a whole a4 sheet of words.  You go totally blank.  So I usually freestyle and just look serious.

 

All of these classes must be taken seriously or you will just look like a dick in front of everyone.  You can't really cut corners.

 

There’s actually a whole bunch of non-English classes.  Like environment, sociology, intercultural communications, research methods and so on.

 

As far as the actual tests.  These are about 10 or 20 pages.  I managed to get it down to just revising on the morning of the test.  A few hours before I walk in.  You can take a 6-week lecture and boil it down to one a4 sheet of buzz words.  I sit in the car on the way and just go through keywords.

 

Being a native speaker is a huge advantage.  The Chinese kids have to translate every single word on their phone or dictionary.  The business classes and sociology classes are really wordy.  So they are basically <deleted>.  But the mixture of course work and test scores mean they will graduate.

 

There was one girl that gave me some competition.  She spoke good English but she decided to stay in China during covid 19 time and come back later.  Being outsmarted by a 17 year old kid made me take English seriously.  I now revise grammar every day.  Even though you are a native speaker you know zero about grammar, writing or more in depth linguistics.

 

Being older + being a native speaker.  

 

You get flash backs of being a teenager.  The mixture of having no idealism and seeing all the guys wasting their time.  Just playing games on their phones all day.  It’s painful to see what a waste it is.  If you don’t study you won’t succeed and you will end up dead in a doorway.  Turn off the video games.  It is scary how these people stare at the phone when walking up stairs and eating.  When taking money from someone or even crossing a road.  The precious moments when a parent is trying to show a child something and he is dwarfed by an ipad.  you notice all the other students flaws.  Short attention span, bored by everything, smoking, drinking, stupid hair, not handing in homework, forgetting their books.  You sit there watching their time slipping away.

 

It's really weird.  As a teen we see school as a daunting mountain.  We take everything literally.  We listen to everyone even though it’s mostly <deleted>.  Bewildered parents, robotic teachers, garbage media, and Disney films that teach us if we are good we will succeed and be happy in life.  But now as an adult you just sit back and look at the score system ''rubrik'' then casually draft out an essay in 10 minutes.  It so easy now I understand why they want.  No need to read 20 books and 1000 handouts.  The teacher will give a clear outline of the assignments and you just go home and do it.  it's very easy.  Sometimes just one paragraph or a summary.  Sometimes one page.  But the assignments are fun.

 

It makes me realize how floored high school education is now.  The idea that you just tip a bucket of print outs on a teenager’s desk say don’t ask questions and just go away.  When you directly pay the teacher's salary things change really quickly.  Nice emails, friendly chats, coffee breaks, always asking if you understand it.

 

pros:  

It's an easy visa to get.  They practically tear your arm off when you flash the cash.

It's a useful degree that you can use anywhere i the world

You feel like a superhuman.  Acing every test.  Doing homework in the lesson and submitting it just as the lesson ends.  Doing a 2 hour test in 20 minutes and always being the first to hand in a test paper.

The Thai universities are respected in Thailand because of the historical endorsement by previous kings.

The teachers are really cool.

The atmosphere is really good.  Everyone meets up almost every day.

It is a great way to meet people in Thailand.

There is always something going on and lots of school trips to the beaches.

You get to learn Thai and another language of your choice.

 

cons:

Due to the schedule you can not work full time.  Only part time until the internship.

You will be the oldest in the class.

Girls will come up to you bow and say 'hello teacher'.  Very awkward.

It's about 40,000 per semester.  So you need some dough.

The immigration scum let you pass easily.  You still have to do 90 day report.

 

I am aware this review is full of mistakes but I can’t be bothered to spend time on something no one will read.

 

They should add a dropdown tag for bullsh*t.

 

comedy

news

art

music

education

bullshi*t

Because the person reading the emails is a 6 year old girl sitting on a stool in a market.  She ignores the pop up and continues watching Peppa Pig.

On 11/7/2020 at 6:21 AM, colinneil said:

Silly sods deserve everything they get for being stupid enough to  break immigration rules.

Clowns like them make it more difficult for those here legally.

They must have been aware that they were not legal.

How do they make it more difficult rich boy?  We don't all have everything laid out for us from day one.

Maybe he was just getting a haircut.

We need to make more jam.  If the UK can make more jam we will be seen as a force to be reckoned with.  Cut the jam deals with Europe.  Cut the jam trade with China.  It's time to get tough guys.

I am seriously wondering if I would help out these days.  I actually want to see him get away.

 

One time some people were screaming and a guy ran past me.  It turns out he stole something from Tops.  I didn't understand what was going on at the time.

 

After the past few years I've had I don't think I can morally stop a robbery.  He must be in a bad way.

I know this guy.  Mr Aoieubombambinungngo Tittyporn.  Short name:  Floor Tile.

Islam is Christianity done right.  Stoning homosexuals, no graven images, beating your wife and abusing children, wearing a hijab just like the Virgin Mary.  They are the perfect Christians.

I don't think it's possible to get information on groups of tourist.  Do they knock on their door or something?  This sounds like <deleted>.

This is actually really funny.  Poor guy.

There is no good way to use tik tok.

The old wacky baccy.  I know a man that can sort you out but he's being investigated over some child porn at the moment.

You say thank you and wai.  That's all there is too it.

 

No there is no difference between family, friends or a boss.

 

In the west parents want to be your best friend but in Asia they are more distant.

The death penalty is revenge not justice.  There's no actual evidence other than a text message.  Maybe someone is setting him up.  We don't know.

Mr Wee Grab, get a job the Sarasas school you sound over qualified for the job.

Found any weapons of mass destruction yet?

You guys all want to make Thailand like England.  So first of all put the taxes up through the roof, now most people can't even afford to drive.  Now the economy has gone down and unemployment shoots up.  Put parking meters everywhere and inspectors.  Color the roads with double yellow lines, single yellow lines, single yellow bands, double yellow bands, double red lines and so on.  So now we have to buy permits.  Don't forget speed bumps on every single road in a built-up area.

 

Also because everyone complains daily about PM2.5 the government will happily tax oxygen.  We now have the congestion charge as well.

 

On top of higher taxes you all seem to want excessive fines as well.  So now everyone has to be crammed into buses and public transport will be pushed to breaking point.

 

You all seem to be promoting the British system of driving tests which is a total scam.  Firstly we have to go through a computer test and each time there are no results only 'fail' or 'pass' so there is no way to improve.  Each time we fail we have to wait a month or more.  The cycle continues, and we waste hundreds of pounds on this garbage that should have already been taught in high school.

 

If you have the slightest bump on the car they call it a write-off.  It just isn't worth owning a car in England.

 

All pick-ups are banned from the road.  So again a huge hit to the economy and well-being of Thai people.

Covid likes damp miserable places.

The school should do all the paper work for you.  Ask the school anything you want.  If they can't answer it find another school that can.

You have to have a lot of money in a bank and then take a photo of yourself next to the money.  Next send the ''form'' to immigration staff then you can lick bats and sneeze on people all day every day for as long as you want.