Such a Hairy Guy

Wow oh wow... Of course it is highly inaccurate. That is the point!!! Didn't you see the very first sentence!!!

I speak 3 unrelated languages, so I have some idea about learning and hence realize my little article was not intended as high brow journalistic flight of fancy.

And for those who are offended by such a post I promise i will never, ever, post lame humorous writing. Obviously I am super bad at it.

However, you for your part must also promise to never ever read anything by James Herriot, Peter Mayle, Dave Barry or any other humorist who likes to poke fun at others quirks. Which unfortunately precludes any humor whatsoever. (You may also want to avoid Shakespeare - There is some dubious stuff in there)

Also, @Jai Dee, I find your signature highly derogatory, far from the truth and offensive. (Kidding, it's actually very funny)

But as I said, I'll stick to boring visa questions from now on.

4 minutes ago, lopburi3 said:

Do you each have 65k per month income?  Or will one of you be applying for a one year dependent extension of stay?

Our embassy will provide a letter of income for both of us. We are both applying for the same visa

1 hour ago, ubonjoe said:

Those are mostly all requirement to apply for an extension based upon marriage to a Thai. What extension would you be applying for.

If not no need for photos and two sets of documents and forms.

Just applying for a Non-O yearly renewal. Retired. This is our first renewal.

Not married to Thai. Legally married to my wife.  Same nationality. Both of us on same visa. So no need for marriage registration I assume.

Hello Everyone, My wife and I both need to renew our Non-O visa in June. This is the Check List of what I need as far as I can tell. Can anyone tell me if I am missing anything?

• 2 sets of copies attached to 2 TM7 application forms.
• income proven by a income letter from your embassy.( Our Embassy still provide this)
• Copies of your passport photo page and every page that has any stamp or visa for Thailand on it. 
• Copy of TM6 departure card.
• Photos of you and your wife in and around the house. One must show you both with the house number shown in it. 
• Map to your residence from the nearest main road or street.

Thanks in advance for your input

ps. Because of Covid, we have not done our 90 days in April since we heard it was not required until July 31. Hope this does not foul up anything.

(the following is a lame attempt at humour)

In this chapter, I will demonstrate some basics of the language, but you will also be initiated to some expert moves. Therefore, tongue in cheek stretching will be vital for proper pronunciation.

Let’s be honest, Asian languages are difficult to learn. But, how can I say this tactfully… Thai is the worst. One of the reasons for this of course, is they stubbornly refuse to replace their language with ours.

This is why I made this handy guide to get you up and going in a few minutes.

About the Thai language… I know very little about it, but asking the expert opinion of those who have learned it for years and claim they can speak some but are still very bad at it, say the Thai language is made up of the following:

• ·       Tons of consonants
• ·       Lots n lots of vowels
• ·       A few dozens tones
• ·       Jury still out on the clusters

Now, my sources tell me I’m might be out by a few dozens, but not by much!

Most Asian and Western languages alphabet is fixed; that is, the rules and pronunciation of the letters follow strict and predictable rules. But not so with Thai. Nay nay, there are many variables which are dependent of the following:

• ·       Where the consonant is relative to the vowel.
• ·       Where the vowel is relative to the tones
• ·       Where you place the letters on the Scrabble board
• ·       If it’s cloudy
• ·       How many Soi dogs are barking right now
• ·       Etc…

If this wasn’t bad enough there are 3 different kind of Thai languages. The uppity one (spoken by the uppity hill tribes), the educated one and the normal one. For the sake of brevity, we’ll stick with the uppity. Just joshin’, had you going there for a while – didn’t I?

Also, Thai is spoken with a nasal twang. Much like a country singer with a bad case of adenoids. It seems the prettier the girl, the more the noise emanate from her nose. Apparently, this is irresistible to the Thai male population. Most Farangs agree it is not unlike fingernails dragged on a chalk board.

While all these rules seem daunting, do not despair. Like many others, with time, much study, practice and dedication – you too can totally suck at it!

On the plus side, you will be hearing a lot of the word ‘Kaaaa’ from Thai females (pronounced Kaaaa). It’s similar to a telegram ‘stop’ word (Google it) or kinda like one of those word you use in between breaths, or instead of a comma. There seems to be no rules, and nobody seems to be offended no matter how many times you use it in a sentence. I’m pretty sure you will be understood if you use nothing but the word Kaaaa in one sentence. Naturally enough males will say Khrap instead (pronounced <deleted>). I mean, what’s not to love about a language where you can say that word non-stop! And it’s polite to boot!

Thai’s are also aware Farangs are not very bright and to help us out, they have very thoughtfully transliterated (it’s a word, look it up) all their road sign into English. So, for example, you will see road signs for the biggest airport in Bangkok in Thai but also in English spelled this way “Suvarnabhumi Airport”. So, let’s practice it shall we? As you will need it to explain the cabbie where you are going. All together now… Soo – Var – Nah – Boo – Mee. Repeat that a few times to get it right.

Ha ha, got you! You didn’t think it was that easy, did you? Of course not. Got a blank stare from the cabbie? Maybe because its actually pronounced “Schwa – Na – Hpoom”. Why don’t you just give up already?

It you are foolish enough to keep going, here are the actual Thai lessons below.

Now on to our lessons:

Lesson 1: The only Thai sentences you will ever need…

• Tauw Rai (or Tow Lai depending on how many Soi dogs are barking right now). It means ‘how much?’. If you really want to amaze your Thai friends with your linguistic prowess, point at the thing you want to buy while saying it.
•  Dtem Tam – it means “fill ‘er up!”

a.     Advanced move: Do not attempt without tongue stretching exercise! You can say Dtem Tam– but this time use hand gestures as if your filling the tank full. Or say ‘Full Full’. They’ll get that too.

• 3.     Mai Pen Lai – It means ‘Hakuna Matata’
• 4.     Hong Nam Krap! – It means ‘toilet <deleted>!’ Notice we are not getting fancy here with making a grammatically correct and properly conjugated sentence. Just have a worried look on your face while saying it and they’ll get it. You do not have to practice the worried look especially if you buy beach food in Pattaya, Phuket or Krabi.

And that’s pretty much it! For everything else, that is why God created Google translate.

Finally, you need to be aware Thais use a lot of Anglicism in their language. Which means instead of using a specific Thai word for a thing, they will use the English word instead. You’d think that would be a good thing, wouldn’t you? This is where you’d be wrong!

For example, Thais use the English word ‘computer’ instead of the Thai version which is loosely translated “the square box which has pictures when you turn it on. But they are not really pictures. It’s more like a TV, but you can play games on it too.” Otherwise spelled in Thai like this:

Here’s a few examples of English words used in Thai and how to pronounce them:

• ·       Promotion: Say… Pro – Mo – Tiooooooooon
• ·       Computer: Say… Com-Puh-Tuuuuuuuuuuuh
• ·       Battery: Say… Bat-Tuh-Reeeeeeeeeeee
• ·       Spaghetti: Say… Suh -  Pah – Geh – Teeeeeeeeeeeeeee ( note: 4 syllables)

Please note the last syllable is long and rising high tone. Say it through your nose to be fully understood.

So, for example, you could say: “My dear sir, while I dine on limp spaghetti with Ketchup like-sauce and hot dog wieners instead of sausages in your fine establishment, would you be kind enough to replace the defective batteries in my computer?”

·       You would say it like this: “Khrap, Su-Pah–Geh–Teeeeeeeeeeeeeee Khrap, Bat-Tuh-Reeeeeeeeeeee Khrap, Com-Puh-Tuuuuuuuuuuuh Khrap” and you would be perfectly understood!

You’re welcome!

Thank you everyone for all your excellent advice. My wife is not Thai n feel exactly as I do about this. So it shouldn't be a problem.

I'll do a bit more research in our area but I just want my body to hit the oven (preferably after I die), no monks, chanting etc... My friends will have their own little gathering. A 'good riddance' party I assume! ????

No not literally, not now anyway. But eventually we must all come to it.

My wife & I do not wish for our bodies to be repatriated to our home country ($$$$) but rather if something unfortunate were to happen to us to be disposed of the cheapest way possible. (I wasnt worth a whole lot alive, I doubt very much I need to spend much on the leftovers!)

Is this possible? Can someone point us in the right direction to find out how easy/difficult it is? (This being the land of rubber stamps and carbon paper, I have a good idea what the answer might be).

In any case, dont want to be a burden for those that follows and would rather have all the t's and i's have the corresponding appendages.

Thank you in advance for any insight you can provide.

Well I see my post totally missed the mark. I like to write myself little vignettes of the quirks I encounter in Thailand and I meant this as a feeble attempt at humour and meant to be tongue in cheek.

I am surprised at the amount of negativity, bile and outright hostility in the comments. My apologies to those it offended and will refrain from posting such ‘essays’ in the future.

To those who are offended by my post, I would avoid like the plague  Herman cartoons and any humorous/books essays about life anywhere – Shakespeare included, since they are full of ageism, animalisms, sexism, plantisms, computerisms and any other labels you want to apply to them!

All the best

Thanks for the help. Much appreciated

Hello folks, just wondering if anyone has a link for the STM2 PDF fillable? This is the acknowledgement of T&C for foreign residents

9 minutes ago, ubonjoe said:

I think they mean back up proof for the income letter from the source such a bank statements of it going into a bank anywhere.

They cannot flat say they are not accepted is my main point.

 

thanks, I hope you are right. But as usual it may depend on the individual officer's interpretation.

18 hours ago, Pattaya46 said:

Unsure if this article/interview really clarifies rules 

Reading it, it looks like those who still use an embassy's income letter

now need to show "bankbook records proving this income already being received [in a Thai bank]" ?? 

So what is the purpose of the Embassy letter if I still have to show transfer into my account?

We've applied for a conversion to a Non-O and waiting for the results. Do we wait for a call or show up at the immigration office to see what the results are? It's been 2 weeks since we've applied. Someone told us Immigration will eventually show up at our house to prove we actually reside there but since Immigration has spoken to our landlord I find this unlikely. However, this is Thailand...

What has been your experience?

4 minutes ago, jacko45k said:

You may be mixing a few things up! What I have highlighted in Item 4) suggests you have obtained a conversion of Entry to a NON-Imm O (from a tourist visa or visa waiver entry), obtained in Thailand at Immigration. Is that the case? 

Or do you have a Non-IM O Multiple Visa obtained in Canada?

If it is the former, UJ's second sentence applies to you.

 

First point is correct. We applied for a visa conversion to a NON-O at Ratchaburi Immigration office. We have not received the response yet

So if I get this right on a Non-O visa multiple entry

1.  Need to do border run every 90 days
2. before I leave get the form to notify them I'm leaving the kingdom (TM?) (at least that's what they told me at immigration.
3. If I stayed more than one night outside of country need to report within 24 hours with TM30 at local immigration
4. Either keep 800K Bahts in bank account or show 65K coming in from retirement income per month (Canada Embassy still provide letter of income & I understand Thai Immigration will accept this till the end of 2019? They did accept it for our Non-O application).
5. 30 days before expiration, will need to renew our Non-O at the local immigration office.

Am I missing anything?

3 minutes ago, jacko45k said:

There is a multitude of differences.

A Non-OA can give you up to 2 years stay ( a year each entry) whereas a NON-Imm O you only get a permission to stay of 90 days. 

So then with the Non-OA you dont need to do visa runs but with the Non-O you do?

Final question: what is the benefit of a Non-O vs a Non-OA. They both seem to have the same requirement/benefits?

Thank you everyone for your helpful advice. What a great site and fount of knowledge! 

2 minutes ago, buick said:

i don't think you need a Non-OA.  as you said above, you get a tourist visa, enter thailand, then go to immigration and do a 'change visa' sometimes referred to as a 'conversion' to a Non-O.  in order to do the conversion, you need to show the financial proof (money in thai bank account).  the Non-O will be good for 90 days.  during the last 30 days of the Non-O 90 days, you apply for a one year extension of stay.  then you buy a multi re-entry permit, which allows you to leave and reenter thailand as you please during your one year extension of stay. 

Thanks Buick for the prompt reply. After the one year Non-O extension, what is the process to extend that, or must we start from scratch every year?

18 hours ago, ubonjoe said:

You cannot a apply for a OA visa at a immigration office. You apply for a one year extension of stay at immigration that does not require a background check or medical certificate.

Unless you are a legal resident of Vietnam you cannot apply for a OA visa there. You can only apply for a OA visa at an embassy or official consulate in your home country or country of legal residence.

So there is no way whatsoever to get a NON-OA outside of Canada???

How about if I were to mail all the required paperwork to the Thai Consulate in Canada. Would that work?

To make a very long story short, The errors were compound errors in stamps and dates stamped on our passports. Also wrong information was provided by the various immigration offices. When it came time to renew our NON-OA visa then it became an issue and immigration offices tried to fix those mistakes by backdating the stamps and handwriting in our passports. Fortunately we had a Thai friend who helped us and we had to bump this up the chain. Immigration recognized there were mistakes made but by then our visa expired. Since we had proof these were not our mistakes we were 'allowed' to stay in Thailand but start the Non-OA process all over again.

Our local immigration office told us we could apply for a NON-OA out of Vietnam if we get a Non-O first. But by now we've learned our lesson not to trust everything we are told....