tourleadersi

I'm FAT!!! FAT!!! FAT!!!!!

Grrrr, some people are sooooooo rude......

S

I wouldn't describe myself as being fat, more as someone who is very adept at dodging salads. I've been dodging the green leaves for 33 years now and feel proud of the investment I have made in my figure!

As for the miserable Khao San Road girl Dan, I think I know the one you mean. She keeps being asked to leave the pub so that they can have a happy hour. I can imagine her day isn't exactly filled with sunshine in a backpackers internet cafe though.

Good show Croc.

Its amazing, I was quite chuffed when I cracked a 100 the other day (just like any England cricketer would be!) but you then go and get a West Indies score and sink my ship!

I have no doubt Donz will mention his Aussie innings soon.... Good on you too mate, I would like to say I'm hot on yer heels, but I aint.

Your advice is always appreciated by us newbies. Ingnore the flamers, you both have values opinions to share.

I have just signed into my Yahoo Homepage and the report is smack bang there in the news headlines. "Thailand 'most hazardous' for tourists."

In this day and age with tourism fears that doesn't bode well for the tourism industry in the LOS.

I saw two ladyboys take on a couple of large lads on Soi 5 last year. They staggered out of a pub and received the usual barritonal 'Hello handsum man, where you go?' Their response was 'F off you feffing ladyboys!" Whoa all hel_l broke loose! They were stood by a collection of empty beer bottles. One of them grabbed two of them, smashed them together, waved them in the air and yelled the equivalent of 'LETS <deleted> HAVE IT!!!!'. The other began launching the bottles after these two guys in a barrage effect. The two lumbering lads took off and were chased by these two stilletto wearing geezerbirds, one hurling beer bottles, the other waving two bottles in the air like some kind of maniac. It was totally hilarious, probably because no one got hurt.

As for you doing your martial arts thing on them, steady on there Sampson. The sheer weight of numbers will see you brought to the ground like a wildebeast becoming lunch for a pack of hyenas. Best advice mate, is when you get here, is find a 'wing man' who knows what to look for. Make sure it is someone that you trust though!

As for friends surprising me, there was the one fella who was really hammered and ended up snogging a ladyboy. Knowing him to be straight (I have nothing against ladyboys) we interrupted his snogfest and his response was "I know, but his tongue is just so soft" and returned to the task at hand leaving us all a little bemused. There was nothing else for it, someone popped down to 7-11, bought one of those instant cameras and hey presto, no need to worry about him ever dropping us in the lurch!

Could it be that the problem isn't marrying a girl so young but that you should avoid marrying a bar girl? Not saying that they are all bad, but ....

hit the nail on the head john,

but just to be on the safe side lets take it that one step further and really get things in order

#1 dont be a dumb arse and marry a bar girl 10 points for that one.

# 2 dont be a dildo and marry a really young girl 10 points to me for an awesome bit of work

# 3 dont get married at all 300 points to me again

got some other life savers for all the would be love rats out there hoping to hit the big time with the lovely and extremely enticing thai babes.

A . leave all your money, investments and other valuables in your own country and only play

with what you consider is a fair thing to part with. this includes your heart and sanity.

B. live off the interest from your investments and only ever rent whilst you play in thailand.

you can get a top place over here for piss all compared to what we must pay at home and

your money is safe and sound being a nice little earner for your good self.

another advantage to this is if ever you loose your mind over here you can bolt back

home and head to the nearest phyciatric centre for a little therapy.

C. dont think you must buy your true love a condo or a bar in pattayaland as you could very

well end up bed buddies with our poor demented english friend. big tiger loves to eat

silly uninformed falang and has an awesome appertite that is never satisfied.

D " DONT FALL IN LOVE " with the girls and just be there boyfriends as they tend to fall by the wayside when you get jack of shelling out coin all the time. if you got a <deleted> load of dollars and

dont mind spending it on the girls your in for a top time all the time with this lot.

E "DONT FALL IN LOVE " must reiterate that one as some guys tend to do there nuts all to

easily and end up running home to have a little cry on there mommies skirt usually with a

wallet thats near on freaking empty

F if all you falang out there follow uncle terry's very simple golden rules you will all have a

extremely top time here in the land of the golden skinned babes.

G lets go party dudes : D

Mate, you should get this advice printed out onto a leaflet that could be handed out by TAT at the airport! You know those Christians (can't remember which group) who stand on Khao San Road and preach at full volume? Perhaps there should be someone like that at the airport luggage claim with a megaphone that could read out your advice. That would be sweet!

Certainly seems like our recent character would have benefited from this advice a few months ago, if only he had found Thaivisa then two lives wouldn't have been destroyed.

A friend of mine in the Uk caught his wife cheating, took her, his 2 daughters and then himself out of this world. It certainly isn't exclusive to Thailand, but it does seem that there is a greater likelihood of it happening here.

Should make things pretty easy to sort out come election time.

A coalition of 8 parties should be fun!

Dear Sirs,

During my time in Thailand I have extensively studied the Thai court process and I would happily bring that experise to my jury service in the UK. Please forward me an appropriate sum of money and let me know whether you wish the defendant to be found guilty or innocent.

Yours totally corruptible,

Thaipauly

It is my first post, although i frequently read articles posted on this forum. I am driven to post my thoughts on the matter of the English man who stabbed his GF to death because i can't believe some of the shades/tones/attitudes of the comments i have read concerning this subject. I am not going to attack anyone individually, but i am disheartened having read that some members are bickering about side issues, such as whether or not the English man should get/do/is/isn't/wasn't/could/couldn't.............bla bla bla! Have some of you forgotten that this man was (i use past tense because his life is technically over) probably someone's father, someone's brother and was once someone's son. How can you look at the photos of the event (which, if you are human, are heartbreaking photos) and continue to castigate and throw around his memory in such a way? Some of you are missing the point. The point is that this man is a human! Yes, he committed a serious crime, but don't judge people on their worst day. Things are not as they appear, people are not what they seem, oneself is not how other people view you.....and the way you view other people is not how they really are behind closed doors. "Waz yer there Charlie? Waz yer there?".

The man was a human! If you can look at those photos and still tell me you have no pity, then you have lost your soul. End of story!

His worst day meant that another human being isn't going to have any more days. Whilst I can feel sorry for anyone that might be subjected to a humiliation that he has alledgedly been through, I find that the humane person in me definately falls on the side of a young woman who through her own alledged gross actions has wound up dead. She too was someones daughter, sister, friend. Now she is someones dead daughter, sister, friend.

No I wasn't there, but I have been in similar humiliating circumstances. There aren't any photos of me being dragged off by the police covered in blood howling like a baby though.

We are not cotton wooling ourselves and trying to avoid negativity. All some of us are saying is that just in one place we would like it to stay out. If your life was full of non stop rock music, wouldn't it be nice to just relax in a quiet park once in a while?

I am pretty sure we are all fully aware of all the negative aspects of Thai-Farang relationships, it seems to dominate so many boards and threads.

Fair enough. But for curious guys like me who haven't found your success, we have to wonder how, and so may be tempted to probe the uncomfortable places again in search of the clues to your successes. Are there any patterns in your success, or is it all random? Are your wonderful mates from a certain type of family? And do you guys stand out in certain ways, like with age or wealth or anything? Sorry if I'm intruding off topic, but I want what you guys have.

Mate it is just down to pure luck. I have dated women from all kinds of backgrounds, ages, races and wealth. What I did was give it a couple of weeks and if it didn't feel right then I would break it off. It is just as important to not fear being alone as it is to not fear making a mistake and a complete ass of yourself. I am by no means a good looking guy, I have perhaps dodged too many salads and certainly am not well off. I am neither young nor old. Perhaps the one thing that ensured my success was that I was prepared to risk everything, and give it 100%. I lost many times before I won, but all I do now is savour the win. Good luck.

I'm pretty sure a simple phone call will sort out your situation. If not, here are some amusing ways to get out of jury service....

When the Bailiff calls out "All rise!" stand up, click your heels, and shout "Ja wohl!"

Laugh like a loon whenever someone says "jurisprudence."

Inform the judge that the $10 a day stipend is insufficient, and you will be billing the court at your usual consultation rate.

After the judge is introduced, kneel and kiss his hand.

Repeatedly request a sidebar. No, you don't need to know what one is.

When they question the juror next to you, shout "I object!"

Bring your teddy bear, Mr. Cuddles, to the courtroom with you. When other people speak, say "Mr. Cuddles can't hear you!"

Whenever an attorney pauses to refer to his or her notes, shout "Amen!"

When questioned, persistently blame everything on freemasonry.

Dress Mr. Cuddles in a tiny John Birch Society T-shirt.

Make sure the judge knows all about that incident with the mud shark. Offer to show photos.

Spill coffee on yourself, then ask "Hey, does anybody here want to help me sue McDonalds?" Then laugh and say "Just kidding."

Address any female attorneys as "Foxy Mama."

Turn up to the court with a whole load of legal books, and ask "who are we going to find guilty today?"

We are not cotton wooling ourselves and trying to avoid negativity. All some of us are saying is that just in one place we would like it to stay out. If your life was full of non stop rock music, wouldn't it be nice to just relax in a quiet park once in a while?

I am pretty sure we are all fully aware of all the negative aspects of Thai-Farang relationships, it seems to dominate so many boards and threads.

During my studies at Uni we looked at the dangers of travel. In the Food Poisoning stakes Egypt was at about 54% of tourist who visit get sick, India was second with about 33%. (Please don't ask me for a reference for the stats, it was over 10 years ago that I was uni, the figs give or take a couple of % were from 1994 if I remember correctly). What I do remember was everyone being startled at how far Egypt was ahead.

So Egypt isn't just in the lead, it is almost out of sight heading over the horizon whilst undoing its belt, toilet paper in hand leaving a fine vapour tail of vom!

I have taken tourists into many parts of the world, and have found Thailand to be amongst the safest in all aspects for visitors. Maybe I was just good at taking care of them?

One thing that actually amazes me is how did we ever cope before internet cafes? 10 Years ago when I was in the depths of the Middle East the nearest fax machine was a 2 hour drive away and then it was lucky if the place had power when you got there. Now I can check my emails on my phone.

I get really wound up in bad internet cafes (15 minutes to open an email) but I just can't imagine life without them now.

I am in what I consider to be a committed, stable and happy relationship; it is not my want to extol the innumerable virtues of my Mrs, (putting up with me for one would be a good start though).

Yeah. MY wife deserves a medal for putting up with me. I wonder how long the thai wives lists would be? Mind you I did stay up until 5am this morning to meet her off the train with a big bunch of flowers. Brownie points in the bank!

Some of the ones I used to go into in China had three to four hundred terminals, all being used by kids playing games like 'Call of Duty' and 'Counter Strike'. They all had their speakers on full blast and were shouting to each other across the room. Try typing out a romantic email to the girlfriend without slipping in the odd 'Die you terrorist mofo!' unconciously!

My wife had some pain fromher wisdom teeth, nothing serious but painful. I kept telling her to take some paracetamol but she kept refusing. Eventually I had had enough and asked her why she wouldn't take them.

"That medecine no good, it doesn't come from a doctor. How can it be any good if it is so cheap and you can get it at any 7-11?"

Finally she took some and grudgingly admitted that they helped a lot.

The lengths you have gone to in counting peoples number of posts, to provide such an inane point, are staggering.

What colour is the sky in your world please?

Well, as you seem to be interested, it doesn't take a whole lot of effort to look slightly below a members name and avatar, to see how many posts that person has.

Not that "staggering" if you know what you are doing.

And making an "inane" post, to comment on someone else's "inane" post ? Well, let's just say it helps to illustrate the "inane" point I (and others) were trying to make in the first place.

Oh yeah, the sky here in my world is a dark blue/black right now, with a few little points of light visible through the hazy, Pattaya night sky at midnight.

And just to keep this On Topic, I just saw the Pattaya City News TV report on the event.

This guy had been here a few times previously, met the girl, and they had "lived together" during some of those visits.

The guy returned to Pattaya on 26 June. He had sent the girl 600,000 baht to open the beer bar, which she did. He had also sent her 40,000+ baht for her personal expenses.

When he got here this time, she turned down his sexual advances. He found out she had been shacked up with a Thai guy her own age. He confronted her, they had an argument, he stabbed her and then took off into the hotel.

Looked like a pretty big guy, but it didn't appear he had all that much blood on him when they where carrying him out (especially as he had supposedly been cutting himself in a failed attempt at suicide)

Thanks Kerryd, that sheds a little more light on the subject. As I mentioned in a previous post, so many people are jumping onto the 'she deserved it' bandwagon before knowing the facts, and that she may have been largely innocent. It is starting to sound like she might have got mixed up with a total nutter.

I wonder if that proves to be the truth some members may post again admitting their error. Some must be sorely missed in Salem.

i'm not denying that a younger girl can fall for an older man,but you cannot deny that there are thai ladies who have given up looking for romance & just want to be taken care of financially.

i just think that the guys that have been around the block a few times would be extra wary of this.

I agree 100%. It seems most likely in the case in question that he was taken for a ride by a less than scrupulous woman, and both have paid a price for their stupidity. I don't think anything you or I say here will have much affect on such a character when he first gets off the plane and ventures onto walking street, do you? Lets just hope it does.....

I just feel that so many people here are very quick to jump on the 'stupid old man, dirty cheating hoe' band wagon. I can imagine that if you were an older man in love with a younger woman the continual bombardment would become very tiresome and perhaps cause some negativity in their relationships. I am certain such continual messages would begin to affect me over time.

I just think all people, both old and young, thai and falang deserve a little more respect than they get from some members on TV. We are all so radically different, thats what makes life and TV so interesting.

What I don't get is how some people can say categorically that there is absolutely no way whatsoever that a woman can love a man that is 36 years her senior. Do you really believe that? That there is no way, absolutely none, in this huge country, with this infinite number of relationships going on, that such a thing can occur? To truly believe that means you've got to be about as smart as those guys you are trying to berate.

It sounds like a lot of young men feeling insecure about older guys finding true love. Its like 'I have a babe of a girlfriend because I am young and handsome, he has one because he has money and is old.' Get a grip. True love doesn't know age, race, size, wealth, weight, height or intelligence. It just is and no one can really explain it.

Before you jump to any conclusions and say that I must be drawing my pension, I'm 33.

aah noel and mittheimp (john deehan hahaha)

come on you two, wouldnt you be better off spouting your bitter and twisted whinges in a beer bar somewhere?

this is a positve thread about thai girls and if you don't like it don't drag it down.

Hmmm, rather defensive, eh!

Your little snipe about beer bars is interesting, possibly bordering upon the Freudian...?

We are not weak because we want to talk about it guys, so give us a break. Its just that when you read this site and others often, you begin to feel a little isolated with your feelings for your wife/gf. I mean, you have to admit the vaste majority of threads on this subject are negative right? You read enough of them and you begin to think 'Christ, am I the only guy out there who has found a Thai woman that he loves and is really happy with?'

This thread is great because for the first time I have heard from men who are happy with their lot that aren't in my social circle. It is very comforting to know that there is a positive trend in relationships out here. To slam guys for expressing their feelings is a little lame, are you worried that too much eostrogen will fly around and you'll suddenly grow breasts?

There really have been some radical opinions given out on this topic.

What no one seems to have considered is her side of the story, and sadly we will never get to hear it. Maybe she was a bar girl and in it for the money. But perhaps also she was one of those bar girls whose boyfriends feel that they can go out and sleep with anyone they want because they're paying their missus and therefore own them? Maybe he used to hit her, or humiliate her. I am certain that someone of the more senior members on TV who live in Thailand have witnessed guys like that. I agree that the sheer weight of numbers indicates that this is a standard 'cheating thai girlfriend getting punished' scenario, but we simply do not know.

Its all too easy to just say, "she was bad and got what she deserved" Nobody deserves to be brutally stabbed to death. The guy was deranged enough to do that, what did he subject her too whilst she was alive? His comments are that he saw her out wih other men, sounds like he started working on his defence plea early, creating a case. I believe that many peoples opinions here would change if there was even the slightest alteration in the facts. I mean, how would you feel if the newspaper had said that she was about to leave him because he used to burn her with cigarrettes during s-x? Would you still be dancing in her blood?

Whether you like Thailand or not, bargirls or not, a little compassion is never a bad thing.

Donz it certainly sounds like you have a winner!

I think it all boils down to what suits your tastes. I absolutely adore my wife, for the following reasons:

She gets really excited about buying 50 baht t-shirts and is always looking for a bargain.

She makes me laugh non stop.

She is a good cook and likes to cook what I enjoy.

She doesn't judge friends of mine who are doing their best to lay waste to Thailand and their livers.

She doesn't ask me for money for her parents, and is extreemely grateful when I offer some, often coming up with an option that is cheaper than what I offered.

I find her unbelievably attractive.

She lets me go where I want when I want knowing that I will always come home.

With the footy, she admitted that it bored her, so suggested that I go to the pub with my mates and she would stay in and watch a movie.

She came into my regular go go bar on cowboy and gave two of the dancers there who have been my friends for well over 3 years invites to our wedding!

She can be as lazy as me, so we are comfortable slobbing out together.

She doesn't put up wth any nonsense from me.

She supports me in whatever I do.

She doesn't whine about how poor we are, or comment on other people who have more money.

Basically, like you I have found a perfect mate. She's fun, attractive, loving and loyal. What more could a man ask for?

I wish you a long and happy time together in the future.

He sounds like one of those muppets thats been here a couple of months and goes out looking for other farang. Then he manipulates a situation so that he can adopt the 'thousand yard stare' and say "When you've been here as long as I have...."

Difficult to know what to say to a complete spanner like that. What is certain is he is probably boring some person in a bar with the tale of the '20 Baht Corn' whilst we're all here laughing at him!

Its a bit strong likening the moderators of TV to Pol Pot when all they are doing is to try and operate the board within the boundaries of this country.

Sometimes free speech can go a little too far.

Sticks website is just one voice amongst many, and when corroborated with other websites can help the reader to form a more accurate opinion of all things Thai.

There are some appauling stories there, but also some excellent and insightful ones. By balancing what he has written with posts on TV and the likes of Mango Sauce, some people will be more prepared for the challenges of living in a foreign country.

I have to admit though, a friend of mine read nothing but Sticks website for about 4 months. He started out loving it, and ended up by packing his bags and moving home!