Talisman

Viewpoint –perspective- desired conclusion?

Viewpoint

At this point the initial viewpoint appears to be that Mother and Father have considered it best, that the little girl is raised in the UK by Father and that Mother shall have open access, she then obtains entry clearance to give effect to that purpose. Father does not require a Section 8 Residence agreement to achieve this aim. Mother does not require a Section 8 Contact Order to achieve this aim.

Perspective

Mother simply requires: a certificate issued by a district judge confirming the applicant's intention to maintain contact with the child.

Desired conclusion?

Mother satisfies S 246 (iii) (b ) The Immigration Rules.

In essence this approach gives effect to their initial wish that Child lives with Father in the UK, and Mother has open contact, requiring Entry Clearance pursuant with S 246.

Let us move several yards to the right, and check out another alternative viewpoint.

Viewpoint

"Although things between the mother and father are civil at present, one or two things the father has said give the impression that once the mother is back in Thailand he could go back on his word and not help the mother return to the UK."

Perspective

Now things get really complicated! The whole perspective changes, and we need to look at this from two angles!

What is the ideal solution! Is it obtainable! Lets just peek into the box!

Desired conclusion?

Father and Mother still hold that Child will live with Father, and that Mother shall have contact. However, Mother has a nagging doubt that “ once Mother is back in Thailand he could go back on his word and not help the mother return to the UK."

As you recall, I stated that the parental-agreement order must be in Mothers possession before she leaves the UK. Other than financial help, for the purposes of an application pursuant to S246, the last act we require from Father is to sign that parental agreement prior to ratification by the court, AND mother returning to Thailand.

Now in regard to the offer of financial help: I need to know precisely what he is offering, in regard to satisfying the requirements of adequacy of accommodation and maintenance of both mother and any dependants!

Noting that Mothers visa is expiring as we speak, allow me to précis just a few of my initial concerns.

Any s8 orders are going to be decided in accordance with the Children Act 89. The underlying ethos is that the Childs welfare is of paramount importance. The only rights that either parent has concern their rights and duties in regard to the child’s welfare.

The matter will be determined in accordance with the Welfare Checklist. The authorities indicate as a rudimentary point that, a three-year-old toddler should reside with Mother, and have as much contact as possible with Father.

There are problems with Mother satisfying the checklist criteria: Lets mention a few:

Mother has no secure accommodation on the radar at this point. Mother has no secure income at this point. Mothers status is that of a foreign national on a visitor’s visa. Mother will have no recourse to public funds: Child Benefit, child Tax Credit, Housing Benefit, Working Tax Credit or JSA.

In the alternative: I know nothing about Fathers details: Is there likely to be a problem in that the child may suffer Significant Harm. Significant means a real possibility and Harm in regard to a child includes matters such as arrested development, behavioural problems, cultural withdrawal etc.

Leaving aside the potential for the court to substitute S8 public orders ranging from EPO’s to Care Orders, there is a very real potential here for a no-order, in which case the child would return with Mother to Thailand.

If Mother, in the extremely unlikely event, and jurisdiction notwithstanding, obtained a residence order, she is unlikely to then satisfy s246 in regard to adequacy of accommodation and maintenance: I mention briefly that her income established on the balance of probability, and without recourse to public funds must at least match that of a notionally similar family unit in receipt of public funds, and that she cannot rely on third party support.

With mother having contact: the yardstick is lower – none of the child benefits on the other side of the equation. With mother having residence, the yardstick is far higher: her income alone would have to match that of a notional mother and child in receipt of full benefits.

Now if Mother simply left with the joint-parental agreement, and somehow we manage to satisfy the requirements of adequacy of accommodation and maintenance: then if it should be necessary upon her return – she then encounters a problem with Father denying access, she may make an application for open direct Contact, and she would undoubtedly get it.

If Father tried to block that contact order, he would be held in contempt of court. Mother at a suitable point may of course then apply for a residence order, or even a shared residence order: noting that upon eventually receiving her ILR, she may claim public funds – more settled – more secure – mother of a young daughter – very high chance of achieving a residence or shared-residence order.

Any order awarded at this stage is likely to be an interim order in any event: there is not likely to be a great deal of time before Mother returns to Thailand, and in any event: the court will need to monitor matters developing.

Anyway, If I can help: I shall.

I have approximately 60 mins free each evening to discuss this matter. If the OP is still around: time to get specific. I will check in again tomorrow.

Just a few initial observations:

The solution should of course be reverse-engineered: A suitable contact agreement must be in place, prior to Mother making an application pursuant to s246: Part 7: The Immigration Rules. Mothers application must of course be made in Thailand.

Requirements for leave to enter the United Kingdom as a person exercising rights of access to a child resident in the United Kingdom

246. The requirements to be met by a person seeking leave to enter the United Kingdom to exercise access rights to a child resident in the United Kingdom are that:

(i) the applicant is the parent of a child who is resident in the United Kingdom; and

Mother is indeed one of the childs parents: However: with whom does the child reside?

(ii) the parent or carer with whom the child permanently resides is resident in the United Kingdom; and

We are informed that: "A friend of my wife has a three year old daughter by an English man."Also:" As the child is approaching school age, they have decided that it would be in her best interests to live in the UK with her Father and attend school here."

Therefore, the child was born to an unmarried British Father during 2007: The D-O-B is important: The Adoption and Children Act 2002 came into force on 1st December 2003. Even though the natural Father is unmarried, as long as his name was registered on the birth certificate upon a date subsequent to 1-12-2003, he will automatically share "parental responsibility" with the childs birth Mother.

As the facts indicate that the child is both a British and Thai national: then Fathers name would have been registered on the BC post 1-12-2003: Father is therefore regarded both de facto and de jure as the childs natural Father, possessing full "parental responsibility" necessary to make important decisions concerning the childs day-to-day welfare.

I should mention briefly that this is a rebuttable presumption: the only time that a DNA test would be considered is if a relevant party wished to question Fathers parentage. In certain specific situations A relevant party could include Father, Mother,: The CSA or UK Borders Agency. As this appears unlikely to occur the point remains moot.

As Father is a parent resident within the United Kingdom, there is nothing to prevent Mother and Father making a private family decision that the child will permanently reside with Father in the UK, and that Mother will have contact whenever the parties decide it is mutually convenient.

Please note: there is no necessity for any state intervention of any description at this particular juncture. Now it starts to get a little complicated!

(iii) the applicant produces evidence that he has access rights to the child in the form of:

(a) a Residence Order or a Contact Order granted by a Court in the United Kingdom; or

(b ) a certificate issued by a district judge confirming the applicant's intention to maintain contact with the child; and

In regard to (a)This is a massively complex area of law best thought of as Pandoras Box complete with many pitfalls. There is no neccessity at all, upon the available facts, for either party to formally apply for private Section 8 Orders in regard to Resdence-Contact or Parental Responsibility.

I could amplify my reasons for recommending why, upon the available facts, they should not ask for a court order at this stage, though the underlying reasons are complex indeed!

In regard to (b )Upon reading sub-paragraphs (a)&(b ) you will be aware that it is only necessary to satisfy either (a) or (b ) not both.

Paragraph (b ) is the obvious candidate upon the available facts. Mother with Fathers agreement, should employ a family law solicitor to prepare a joint parental-agreement, stating that Mother shall have full contact with her daughter, as and when reasonably convenient for both parents.

The parental-agreement document signed by both parties, shall state that Mother fully intends to maintain contact with the child, who is now residing in the UK with Father. The parental-agreement in the form of an attested affidavit, shall have full legal effect upon being signed by the court.

This being the case: Sub paragraph (iii) (b ) shall be satisfied. It is unimaginable that a court will refuse to endorse a joint parental agreement which gives effect to the parents wish that Mother will maintain contact with her three year old daughter. This formal agreement must be in Mothers possession before she leaves the UK.

(iv)the applicant intends to take an active role in the child's upbringing; and

My advice in regard to satisfying this paragraph, is that Mother should go completely OTT. Forget all about the civil standard of proof being upon the balance of probability or 51% probability: Simply endevour to remove any probability whatsoever that an ECO/ECM or UKIAT Tribunal may question Mothers intention to take an active role in the childs upbringing.

With Fathers specific agreement, the formal contact agreement itself should note the parents joint responsibility for the child.: That Father will not make any important decisions regarding the childs life without having first obtained Mothers express agreement.

Therefore Mother must agree to, at the very least: which school should the child attend, what faith if any is practiced, her diet, her clothes, her friends, her contact with other family members, medical and dental treatment etc etc.

During her return to Thailand Mother should then via email correspondence, evidence that she has indeed been consulted, and has actually made decisions in regard to these key matters.

(v) the child is under the age of 18; and

Satisfied: The little girl is 3 years old.

(vi) there will be adequate accommodation for the applicant and any dependants without recourse to public funds in accommodation which the applicant owns or occupies exclusively; and

(vii) the applicant will be able to maintain himself and any dependants adequately without recourse to public funds; and

If you are happy with the advice so far: we can now largely depart from Family Law, and consider the vital requirements of “adequacy of accomodation” and “adequacy of maintainance” as defined in UKIAT cases.

Alternatively, may I suggest that if you still have any further questions regarding Mothers compliance with any of the provisions of s246: The Immigration Rules, up to this point: that you frame them succinctly in regard to the general advice provided above: We can then provide a clear solution to each specific problem in turn.

(viii) the applicant holds a valid United Kingdom entry clearance for entry in this capacity.

Sub-paragraph (viii) shall be satisfied upon leave to enter being granted.

Hi Guys.

Can anyone advise me where to buy this model in BK or Pattaya, while avoiding refurbs. How much is their going rate for one ?

Hi.

Anyone know where I can definately purchase an electric strimmer or lawnmower in or near to the above citys.

Many Thanks.

Mark.

Hi Mac.

Great to hear that you are well and busy growing old disgracefully.

Miss your advice on all things practical: So inbetween your shenanigans; if you should happen to know where I can purchase an electric strimmer up in the boonies - let me know please! Oh - and some security lights, which I never did manage to source in global house etc.

Nice looking pad Mac - Bargain, and I Hope that you find the right lady soon!

Well here is the update:

It was indeed a skimming fraud. The Mrs attended the Kasikorn Bank the next morning at 9am. The local plod was present as well as the three other people who had become aware that their accounts had been emptied.

It looks like quite a few other folks were also affected, but these three others mentioned had used the atm on the Sunday, and again the next day, when they discovered the fraud. All their accounts had been emptied at around 11pm on Sunday night, from the same atm used for the skim. At that time of night, the place is like a ghost town.

The local plod showed everyone a photograph taken by the atm, of a Thai dude wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses. Needless to say no one recognised him. The police believe the obvious: that its a travelling gang - that the cards were skimmed using some sophisticated skimming technology - they dont know if the skimming device also took the pin details, or whether that took place via the old peeking over the shoulder method.

The banks position was: Everyone will only get their money back once the police have caught the perps!

Our position was: Heres your atm card; now insert it where the sun doesnt shine! We had already opened a new account with one of their three competitors, which we will use merely as a clearing account, with no more than 6-10k sitting there at any one time, and with all withdrawals made inside the bank, not via atm.

One of the other people ripped off was a schoolteacher, she had just taken out a 150k loan from Kasikorn bank, and all the funds had been lost during the skim. When Kasikorn told her that they were not going to redeem her funds, she walked across to the local market, and gave everyone the good news.

There are a lot of folks closing their accounts at the moment! The general gist of the feelings being that money in the Kasikorn bank is not safe, with a lot of those folks talking about putting their savings into the old fashioned methods of either gold or land.

Anyway thats how it panned out: we only lost a few thousand baht, but with house building/land purchases etc, there has been a few million through that account during the last few years - it could have been a darn sight worse!

It's incidental: but the Kasikorn Bank skimmed, was at BauKhao which is a small town around 60 clicks East of Kalasin. It could just as easily have been any atm of any bank in Thailand: the only difference being how each individual bank deals with compensating the victims of the fraud! My guess is they are all the same: it's not the banks problem!

Chow for now!

Our card was skimmed at a Kasikom Bank ATM last Sunday afternoon.

Fortunately we only lost 4k as we only use this account for weekly bills. The Mrs had used the ATM on Sunday before crossing to the market across the soi. There were 30-40 people around the ATM as Sunday is the big market day, but the Mrs didn''t notice anyone looking over her shoulder, nor would she have expected a problem as no-one has encountered such a problem up here before.

The account was emptied at the same ATM at 11pm the same evening.

The loss of 4k is not a problem, but I hope they didn't also get some old grannies savings. The ATM takes a photo of the person making a transaction, and that will be forwarded to the police.

If the bank fails to remedy the fraud, we will just change our bank: will update tommorrow, and I really hope that the perps don't turn out to be farangs.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=170440

A question please: to all those who believe they may have encountered – for want of a better word: a ghost!

Firstly: are you familiar with the taste, or more accurately – the smell – of ozone? You may have previously come across this odour without quite realising what it in fact actually was, for example:

On a hot summers day after a long dry spell, just as a thunderstorm approaches, and just before it actually rains, you notice that the air suddenly seems fresh – clean – or incorrectly but descriptively accurately: super oxygenated. This may occur before lightening actually forms, or during an actual lightening display!

The taste, or perhaps more accurately the smell: is the taste of ozone, caused by the downdraft of an approaching thunderhead delivering highly-ionised oxygen particles from within a storm cloud down to ground level, ahead of the now approaching storm front.

This is the smell/taste of ozone: please do not confuse this smell with that which occurs, just as the rain actually starts falling, which is something entirely different and not relevant for our purpose.

You will also have smelt/tasted ozone in a funfair near the dodgem cars, or if you were ever near an old generator: Ozone is formed in such places by the arcing effect of high-voltages upon oxygen molecules.

Now having defined the smell/taste of ozone – my question to all those who believe they may have encountered – for want of a better word: a ghost!

Did they associate the smell/taste of ozone with that experience?

Thanks Bergen.

Looks like the blasted parvovirus, and I am getting some good advice in the pets forum.

Mobi, Bina, elfe, Nienke and Bergen: thanks very much indeed for your kind and prompt advice!

The position is now this:

The original vet is indeed competent and highly respected: the lack of x-ray facilities threw me a little, but this is small town Issan, and is no reflection at all on her ability as a vet.

It’s definitely a virus: we are not yet certain whether it’s the parvovirus or coronavirus. There has been some form of local outbreak, with four dogs brought in yesterday, and another eight today. So far only one has died.

The vet strongly suggested that Goldie stays at home (less traumatic) while attending the surgery daily for the intravenous saline iv. An anti-nausea drug is being injected at the same times. No antibiotic injections have been given as of yet, but I think she is waiting for the vomiting to stop first: I will check on that first thing in the morning, when she goes for another saline iv.

The original tablets were given before a virus was suspected. She has now been poorly for two days, entering a third. The vet reckons that if they can be kept alive for four to seven days, then they usually pull through.

There has been no diarrhoea yet, only vomiting, but this is only the second/third day. She came round a little earlier and drank water from a bowl (the vet hoped that she would do this as it helps prevent her going into shock.)

I have now read up on both forms of virus, and I realise that its early days, and that basically she has to get through that first critical week: will keep you informed, and we are doing everything that we can: if you think that I am missing something please let me know as soon as you can!

Best Wishes.

Mark & Goldie.

This is the problem:

We have a Golden Retriever puppy that’s four months old. Until four days ago, she had been growing like topsy and weighed eighteen kg’s.

Four days ago, she went off her food, became lethargic, and eventually stopped taking water. Now she is pretty much immobile and has stopped passing stools or water. If we try and give her water; she vomits it straight back up. Yesterday there was blood in the vomit.

The local vet has prescribed two unknown tablets, both of which will be useless as they are vomited out within seconds. She had a saline iv yesterday, and I am sending her down for another one shortly. The local vet does not appear to be geared up for any form of surgery, and does not have access to an x-ray machine.

I am a terrier man, and I have no experience of Golden Retrievers, but to me; this is starting to look like a twisted gut, or perhaps an obstruction in the intestine. The dogs is loosing appx 1 kg a day at the moment. I need two pieces of advice from anyone in the know that might be able to help.

Does this diagnosis sound accurate, or am I missing something?

If the dog does require surgery, then I need details of a competent surgeon vet either in Kalasin, Roi Et, or Sakhoon Nakhom.

Thanks to anyone who may be able to advice.

Mark.

This is the problem:

We have a Golden Retriever puppy that’s four months old. Until four days ago, she had been growing like topsy and weighed eighteen kg’s.

Four days ago, she went off her food, became lethargic, and eventually stopped taking water. Now she is pretty much immobile and has stopped passing stools or water. If we try and give her water; she vomits it straight back up. Yesterday there was blood in the vomit.

The local vet has prescribed two unknown tablets, both of which will be useless as they are vomited out within seconds. She had a saline iv yesterday, and I am sending her down for another one shortly. The local vet does not appear to be geared up for any form of surgery, and does not have access to an x-ray machine.

I am a terrier man, and I have no experience of Golden Retrievers, but to me; this is starting to look like a twisted gut, or perhaps an obstruction in the intestine. The dogs is loosing appx 1 kg a day at the moment. I need two pieces of advice from anyone in the know that might be able to help.

Does this diagnosis sound accurate, or am I missing something?

If the dog does require surgery, then I need details of a competent surgeon vet either in Kalasin, Roi Et, or Sakhoon Nakhom.

Thanks to anyone who may be able to advice.

Mark.

This is the problem:

We have a Golden Retriever puppy that’s four months old. Until four days ago, she had been growing like topsy and weighed eighteen kg’s.

Four days ago, she went off her food, became lethargic, and eventually stopped taking water. Now she is pretty much immobile and has stopped passing stools or water. If we try and give her water; she vomits it straight back up. Yesterday there was blood in the vomit.

The local vet has prescribed two unknown tablets, both of which will be useless as they are vomited out within seconds. She had a saline iv yesterday, and I am sending her down for another one shortly. The local vet does not appear to be geared up for any form of surgery, and does not have access to an x-ray machine.

I am a terrier man, and I have no experience of Golden Retrievers, but to me; this is starting to look like a twisted gut, or perhaps an obstruction in the intestine. The dogs is loosing appx 1 kg a day at the moment. I need two pieces of advice from anyone in the know that might be able to help.

Does this diagnosis sound accurate, or am I missing something?

If the dog does require surgery, then I need details of a competent surgeon vet either in Kalasin, Roi Et, or Sakhoon Nakhom.

Thanks to anyone who may be able to advice.

Mark.

Hi Danny.

The comments regarding the third and fifth precepts were vague for a reason!

Whether Mac realises it or not: his actions must firstly be regarded as positive in nature, in regard to the first, second, and fourth precepts.

His ongoing conduct indicates an intention to help others, therefore in regard to the first precept of not harming any living being: he extended that to the positive: the purpose and intention of his actions has been to help many living beings: his extended family.

In regard to the second precept: that of not taking of anything not freely given, or stealing. Mack like all of us faced a dilemma. In the near future, it would be likely that he would be involved in legal wrangles involving shared assets.

He also noted that on the ground, in practice as opposed to legal theory: property in Thailand following divorce tends to flow primarily in the ex-wifes direction. Mac supposed - just for the time a thought takes to form - it would be fair to take some gold that he had given to his wife as a present! However, he quickly realised that to have done so, would have been to take something not freely given. In not taking it, he refrained from stealing.

In regard to the fourth lay precept: that of abstaining from lying, which includes not gossiping or using speech to harm others: Mac has complied, even during these testing times. He told it as it was, even though her conduct has been, lets say questionable!

Therefore so far: Mac has behaved positively in accordance with the first, second and fourth precepts: all of which concern the principle of non-harm to other living beings, which include himself and his wife.

In regard to the vagueness regarding the third and fifth lay precepts: that of refraining from sexual misconduct and the taking of intoxicants or drugs: My remarks were vague, as I did not wish to be discourteous, therefore it would make better sense if I framed them using the dreaded -I- word. This is the paragraph under discussion, and then I will rephrase using the -I- word: (this goes entirely against the Buddhist belief of non-self, and I use it only for the purposes of clarity, while not offending innocent parties.)

The third and fifth precepts, should IMHO, be in the forefront of your mind, during the testing months ahead. Sexual misconduct clearly includes exploitation, whether the OP believes they are being exploited or not noting that Karma may mean a role-reversal at some stage, and alcohol will cloud judgement, and possibly introduce thoughts into your mind that are harmful to yourself and others, therefore it is best avoided!

If -I- was to have gone through precisely what Mac is going through, including the feelings of betrayal and loss of trust: -I-may have ended up nursing one of many Singhas perhaps in The Buffalo Bar up in Soi 6.

With a bruised ego, and feeling hard done-by: -I- may well have bar fined a young lady straight back to the hotel room, for a little horizontal entertainment, followed by breakfast and a financial gratuity. Where is the harm in that? Ego is a small word for a very big problem!

Like the overwhelming majority of girls in such situations; despite all farangs being -Hanshum Men,- she would have been entirely motivated by;

a/ The thousand Baht that she would have sent home to look after the family, and;

b/ The outside chance that I was going to provide a longer-term drip, or perhaps even the jackpot of lifetime security for her and the family.

As -I- was clearly not going to contemplate anything other than option (a)- I would actually have exploited a vulnerable person, and therefore broken the third precept of sexual misconduct. I would have harmed another living thing!

Alternatively, if -I- had gone for option b/, and -I- ended up being the exploited: who am -I- to complain. My earlier action culminated in my becoming exploited: this is what I meant by a role-reversal: the exploiter becomes the exploited: the fruition of bad karma!

Therein works the chain of causation - cause and effect - cyclic patterns - and of course samsara itself: the never-ending cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.

In regard to the fifth precept: that of not taking alcohol or intoxicants: The reasoning of Lord Buddha was straightforward. It clouds the mind, thereby inhibiting the study of Dharma, and a hindrance to abiding by the other four lay precepts.

-I- think this story illustrates the dangers of alcohol: A Buddhist Lama (spiritual master) was travelling amongst the nomadic tribes. The people would give him food and lodging in exchange for his blessings. One evening a young woman who lived alone offered him lodging. She made it conditional that he would have to do one of three things: sacrifice a goat, sleep with his hostess or drink alcohol.

He decided on the last of these options, thinking that drinking alcohol was the least harmful of the three. One drink led to another, however, and before long he was drunk. In this state, the sound of the goat started to annoy him so much that he went out and killed it, and when he woke up the next morning he found he had been to bed with the hostess!

It could have been even worst: he could have killed the Hostess and woken up with the goat, which is probably what would have happened if it had been soi cowboy.

Life is a gas, but the moral of all this is: guard your karma as you would guard your castle: no-one else is going to do it for us!

Hi Mac: Its great to hear you sounding upbeat and positive about things!

I think that the new posters thread regarding Buddhist philosophy contains words of great wisdom, and I also would recommend that you seek refuge in the three jewels: The Buddha, The Dharma, The Sangha.

I hope that you will be able to reconcile what has happened in your life, in a way that will minimise unhealthy feelings of anger, and in such a way that you will be able to realise the good things that have come out of this situation.

If you will excuse a few well meaning metaphysical observations:

Those laypersons amongst us who take refuge in The Three Jewels, believe that we are all governed by Karma, which follows us like a shadow throughout all our lives: past, present and future. Our past and present actions govern the path our present and future lives shall take.

In terms of the first precept: that of non-harm to other living beings, your actions (whatever the intentions of the recipients) can only be regarded as positive, and worthy of much accumulated merit on your part! You have helped many other people, in that you selfishly helped make their lives easier, and perhaps in return: your friends have been allowed to help you, in your times of trouble!

In terms of the second and fourth precepts: again, you can only be said to have acquitted yourself well, in these trying times within your present life: You have not taken anything from that relationship that was not freely given; neither have you lied or used duplicity in your speech. You have simply said things pretty much as they are, and left it at that!

The third and fifth precepts, should IMHO, be in the forefront of your mind, during the testing months ahead. Sexual misconduct clearly includes exploitation, whether the OP believes they are being exploited or not noting that Karma may mean a role-reversal at some stage, and alcohol will cloud judgement, and possibly introduce thoughts into your mind that are harmful to yourself and others, therefore it is best avoided!

I agree wholeheartedly with the other poster: stop and think Mac. Your Karma has brought you to a land where you are surrounded by the Three Jewels, and perhaps introduced events into your life, that will make you inclined to look deeper. Is this also part of your destiny; the choice is yours alone!

If you will further excuse a few well meaning pragmatic observations:

Your wife has given you two gifts that transcend material values!

The gift of new life: your beautiful baby daughter!

The gift of new life: yours from this second onwards!

I was thinking of you the other day Mac; I am back grafting in blightly at the moment, and in a phone call with the Mrs, she told me about someone, and it made me think of you!

A while ago we decided to get one of those all singing and dancing NASA sized satellite set-ups (Nui is just as materialistic as any other Issan gal who grew up on a dirt floor).Their all the same in regard to aspirations Mack, its just jai dee that separates them out.

Anyway; we had a really good deal with a very honest seller, and every six months ago, the old gent turns up to nuke the box, and install some new channels as part of the service!

This time he brought his assistant along, and during the ensuing snacking and admiring of the flowers, the lady mentioned the following:

She is a respectable single mum in her mid thirties, has her own salaried job, and owns her own house in a nice little village down the road. She lives alone, and her parents are dead. She has a little girl of eight, and the father headed south straight after the child was born. She no longer wants to have a relationship with any Thai, as she no longer trusts Thai men. But she is lonely, and she can see that the Mrs and me are happy together.

She is not looking for a rich farang, but she is looking for some tlc, and a man around the place, and is wondering if a farang is the solution: But there are not many farangs around these parts! The ladies a good-looking gal, as are most in these parts; but she is no racing snake, or just arm candy trouble. What you see is exactly what you get!

Anyway: I hate profiling people, and you are going to get a hundreds of recommendations like this from mates that chance upon some good-uns, but if this type of lady looks to be the type of person/environment in which you may see you and your daughter in future, I reckon you could do a lot worse than start testing the waters! PM me if you would like a photo and her number: up to you, but could be good for both of you!

Anyway: Sometimes I talk too much. Take care Mac you are going to be just fine.

Chok dee kap!

Mark.

Just too report: There are quite a few cases at the moment around the Kalasin area. The local hospitals have significant numbers of people undergoing rehydration via saline IV's.

Folks reckon that it's being contracted from cockles brought in from the Mukdahan area, perhaps brought across from Laos.

The Child

I think the UK legislation has this spot on: it’s not perfect, because sometimes the people who implement it are not perfect! And when it comes to contact orders, many embittered mothers refuse to comply with court orders: that’s called “ implacable hostility,” and it occurs when mothers prevent the father from seeing the child, thereby using the child as a weapon of revenge!

Forget all that: the law is spot on, and the whole ethos is found in the first paragraph of The Children Act 1989: THE CHILDS WELFARE IS PARAMOUNT!

Not of first importance, or great importance, but of PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE!

You cannot own a child or even have parental rights over a child: You simply have duties to the child’s welfare!

Your daughter is ten months old! A court would say that NOTWITHSTANDING ANY OTHER FACTORS: in the case of the parents separating; it would be in the best interests of the child’s welfare to be resident with mother, and to have the maximum amount of practical contact with the father! Mothers are by far the best option for caring for young children, and certainly for a young baby, as in this case!

For a father to snatch such a child, would be viewed as child abduction: not only a criminal offence, but also behaviour that would result in very limited supervised contact, if contact was allowed at all. In Thailand the situation would be very much worse, as you are farang and the mother is a Thai national.

Both you and the mother are still talking: for the sake of your future relationship with your daughter: that has to continue, even when that talking becomes negotiating, as I feel is about to happen!

I disagree with another poster, who suggested you are too old to be a father: you are not1 But you are certainly not the right age, or sex to have sole care of a baby: you are not the mother, simple as that!

However: if you and the mother were to decide that you alone should bring up the child: as that is what would be in the child’s best interests, then it is certainly feasible that either with bottle feeding, or employing a wet nurse: then yes it could be done, but surely nothing comes close to a mothers love and nurture!

NOTWITHSTANDING ANY OTHER FACTORS!

Waving a knife around and shaking a baby, is VERY VERY worrying indeed! You were there, and only you know whether the knife threat was foolish posturing, or deadly serious! Shaking a baby IS DEADLY SERIOUS!

In an ideal world the best option for the child, is likely to involve residence with the mother, with you having unlimited contact, and that’s down to cool negotiating out of all unfinished business, which will almost inevitably also involve property!

In the present situation: IF THERE IS ANY RISK TO THE CHILD WHATSOEVER! You simply have to involve the police, at the highest, and least corrupt level possible! ABDUCTION should really be left to absolute life or death situations.

My heart goes out to you Mac: Please try and factor in as much cool negotiating time as possible, and that’s going to involve elements of gamesmanship! You really are way to close to the action to remain objective at the moment! Try and get away for a little to get a game plan going!

You are in all our thoughts.

Regards.

Mark.

Hi Mac: A few more thoughts for what they are worth!

You!

You are clearly one of the good guys: we can all see that! On the jai dee spectrum you are very probably off the scale! The trouble is that your good nature, and generosity have quite clearly been taken advantage of by your adopted family! You know that more than anyone!

That doesn't mean you're an idiot, just a bit naïve: you gave a lot, and they took the lot! It just seems bad luck, that the recipients were not as generous in repaying your good nature, with even a little bit of respect and TLC, which costs absolutely nothing!

So does that tell you anything, I look after 13 members in the family nearby and pay electric for three houses sometimes four why because I have a good heart: What do I get back nothing.

It tells us everything: Mac you are in deeper shit than you probably realise! In a past life you were on the job for thirty years: if you were made aware of such an incident in the UK, where an older immigrant having a poor grasp of the language and culture, was looking after:

13 members in the family nearby and paying electric for three houses sometimes four why because I have a good heart! What would you have done?

Mac: I do not want to over dramatise: but the very fact that your police pension is only payable monthly, is possibly very good for your well being! And please tell us that neither she, nor the family are beneficiaries of any life insurance policy???

The relationship!

Mack: forget about love! When a woman categorically states, after thinking it through carefully: IT'S OVER: she's not negotiating, just stating a fact!

The Worldly Goods!

Property in the third world: you heard this before, and it's to late to worry about it now: NEVER HAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE, THAT YOU ARE NOT PREPARED TO WALK AWAY FROM, IN THIRTY SECONDS FLAT, IF YOU FEEL THE HEAT IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!

ANYTHING meaning any material thing: not loved ones! Good luck with the lawyers, or amicable agreements, but I honestly think that the most likely value of the property is going to come down to BARGAINING POWER! Which leads us to the most important thing: your daughter: Back in a minute, but I really wouldn't snatch the kid.

Hi Mac.

I don't post on here often, but you have always struck me as a really sound guy! Your mates have given you a lot of advice, though much of it is conflicting!

I wish you could see your present situation from a different vantage point: that of two years down the line!

The worst vice is advice, but here is a purely objective and realistic appraisal based just on the facts which you have provided!

You have been milked to such a point, that all the big ticket items having now been provided: all that is now left is the daily drip feed!

You are in a settled domestic situation: you like settled domestic situations, and however bad this particular one is (very bad indeed) you find it hard to just cut and run!

The relationship may have seemed comfortable, or even just acceptable until recently when in a honest moment the shtf: most people can see how bad the situation is: but you are still waiting to see how things pan out! Paralysis by Analysis!

Mac you deserve better in life: your present situation is the pit's, and like many posters I am concerned for your physical and emotional well being!

My advice:

Bail out, and do it as quickly and quitely as possible!

Stay with some mates (no forwarding address) and if you must communicate, do so by telephone!

Then with the luxury of time and distance: decide where if anywhere, all this is going!

Your a nice guy Mac: with what you put into a relationship (not refering to ott financial support) there are thousands of ladies within even a few hundred clicks, that would worship the ground that you walk upon! Hope that you walk out of this train crash of a relationship in one piece, and find a girl who will care for you properly!

Good luck with whatever you decide Mac, and don't let the bastards grind you down.

Thanks for the reply: its the 2.5 turbo diesel.

I will be delighted if it turns out to have a camchain, as opposed to a cambelt. It appears that the 2007 3.0 litre model has the chain, but not to certain about mine the (2006) 2.5 litre.

At 25,000 kms, its nowhere near due for replacement yet, but I was just thinking ahead as I like to change cambelts a little earlier than recommended.

Anyone know which it has, and when it should be changed?

Thanks in advance.

Thanks a lot guys: will check out Global House and the big three.

Those Geckos are sure going to miss them moths!

Looking for some instant daylight, in the 500w with pir category!

The Mrs has finally lost the plot, and decked out the old shacks exterior with electric lanterns from homepro (left on all night).

Its even money whether I run out of cash first, or if we take out the local sub power station.

Please advise.

Well here is the situation.

I have just returned from a month in Thailand. During which time, as intended I:

a/ Got married to my Girlfriend of 14 mths, and

b/ Met the wifes three daughters, which of course are now my step daughters.

In regard to the Mrs: we intend to apply for a settlement visa, in six months time. (I am building up the neccessary six months bank statements, as required in the home office guidelines; starting from scratch). Otherwise we would apply immediately for the SV.

In regards to the kids: Well never having had kids before; I wasn't sure how we would all take to each other, but what actually happened is that I fell for the kids big time, and they for me.

You know whats coming, but here's the background:

There are three daughters, aged 4,5 and 10.

The father abandoned the family around 4 years ago, and the wife was granted a sole custody order, along with the divorce, by the local amphur around four years ago.

I have supported the wife and family for the last 14 months, since I met the Mr's; thats full financial support, while she looked after the kids at home in Isan.

The children look on me as their father, and they want to live wherever I live, which is in the UK.

I look on the kids as daughters, and I want them to live with me and the wife, as a family, in the UK.

The wife wants us all to live together in the Uk as a family: The questions are these (I have searched past posts, but it's just not clear to me yet; sorry).

1. Will the wife have any problems, including the children in a settlement visa application, noting that she has a "sole custody order" issued by the amphur.

2. Will I have a problem, in regard to suitable accomodation. I have a single large bedroom available for the three girls (4,5 and 10). I was going to convert it into two rooms, but they want one room, and one big bed, as thats what makes them happy!

3. Will I have a problem, in regard to means of support. I am self employed, and saving around £200-250 a week at the moment, after outgoings: is this going to be viewed as sufficient funds to support the wife and three daughters, bearing in mind the next question?

4. I understand that "means of support" means without recourse to "public funds." I have managed to get by so far without ever receiving any public funds, of any description, but a mate in work told me that he gets £200 a week assistance for his three daughters. I don't know the first thing about benefits, but he said that was comprised of working tax credit, family allowance, and family credit. If my understanding is right: I cannot receive any of those benefits in regard to the three girls, and I must support them solely on what I earn? If thats the case, could you please look again at my third question!

Thanks in advance gents (Scouser and GU22, hope you are out there guys).

Looking for somewhere above 2nd road, but not to far out, and open to ideas.

I need a small studio or similar, with air, cable, and cooking facilities.

Must be a fairly quiet location (I know its Patters, but no Bar on site)

Secure (As in a minimum of keycard entry)

Looking at around 10,000B a month, for 1-3 months occupation, and available immediately.

Any recommendations appreciated.