Tookea

@MalcolmB you are to be commended, your heart is in the right place. Unfortunately this is doomed to failure - as @Smokin Joe points out no Thais will understand you. Really. You are going to stress yourself out for nothing; I tried this and in the first sentence or two I went off-road and it was trash from that point on. Your girlfriend most likely has a Thai friend with decent English language (preferably speaking and reading). Let her give it. Spend an evening going over this with her (you may have to pay a bar fine) Damn, I wish I had done this ...

Make a list - the stuff you have no control over goes to the bottom, sort the other stuff easy at top, hard at bottom. Work on 2 every day (even if it walk to 7-11 and back). As others have said work on your posture. The point is to get aimlessness out of your life. And to the extent possible get negative people out of your life. Youll be surprised how soon this begins making a difference.

The best pizza in Bangkok - possibly all of mainland Thailand - is Vesuvius. And next door is kick*** massage joint. Not far from Nana. Been there for a number of years so must be doing something right.