Lacoste

Following a night out with a few friends, a man brought them back to show

off his new flat.

After the grand tour, the visitors were rather perplexed by the large gong

taking pride of place in the lounge.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked

"Why, that's my Speaking Clock" the man replied.

"How does it work?"

"I'll show you", the man said, giving the gong an ear-shattering blow with

an unpadded hammer.

Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed, "For, *****sake,

you *****, it's twenty to two in the ****ing morning!!"

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: "It is illegal to put 5 people

in a Quattro, Quattro means four"

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishman retorts

disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five

persons.""

You cannot pull that one on me," replies Paddy "Quattro means four. You have

five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.

"The Englishmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over I

want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds Paddy, "Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno."

Just last week, while in Kanchanaburi, i was a victim of a noisy, horrendously smelly gas explosion coming from the 'backside' of a European lady. While such 'letting loose of gas' in public by a lady in Europe may normal there - it is pretty unheard of here!

In our modern, polite society, we've found many natural human traits to be social faux pas. Today, unlike days of old, almost no one accepts breaking wind as anything near acceptable social behavior. This in itself can be a problem as modern science has now shown that passing gas, or to use the common expression, farting, actually is good for people.

A Study of Flatulence has shown that people who break wind uninhibitedly show a significant decrease in tension and irritability. Even those who break wind in private, with no hesitation or embarassment get the benefit of relief, both physically and mentally.

Looking at our world's viewpoint on flatulence, people tend to laugh when not completely disgusted by the sound. The laughter adds a level of stress relief to those around the perpetrator of the wind breaking, while causing gales of laughter so that breathing is through the mouth instead of the nose, avoiding the olfactory receptors, those responsible for the sense of smell.

So the next time you're in a crowded public place and the urge overtakes you, feel free to pass gas, both loudly and proudly. It does a body good.

Does anyone know of a place in Bangkok where i can take some designs to and get them printed on to T shirts?

Many thanks.

Charlie.

I got one word for you all: PINKY!

Pinky is an Indian guy who has a tailor shop, Pinky Tailor, close to Phloen Chit BTS.

The shop is at the very back of Mahatun Plaza. From the BTS station you can see the King Power Duty Free shop, walk past the shop from it's left side and all the way back to the "Plaza" (looks more like a car park) and there is Pinky Tailor.

Suits range 4000b - 60 000b. 10 000b gets you a good one.

Shirts: 800b - 1500b

Extra pants from 1500b up

I have had many suits done here, a lot of embassy staff and business expats use this place.

It doesn't advertise, word-of-mouth does the job, nor it doesn't have those BS "Armani, Hugo Boss, Versace" stickers on the windows.

Go, buy, fall in love! (..with the suits I mean...)

I can only comment on this guys shirts and trousers as i have had around a dozen pairs of trousers made by him and well over 40 shirts. He is first class and if you choose the better quality materials you can get a service that will rival any tailor in London.

Hi there Ladies and Gentlemen, I have been living in Bangkok Thailand for around 4 years now and have just recently discovered this great forum. I realy dont know how it took me this long but it did.

Anyway just wanted to say hello and keep up the good work.

Cheers. Charlie