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WaiWai
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Posts posted by WaiWai
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I'm sure if you PM Jungian he will help you out it's not his nature to let people suffer I think he has just had it with the stupidity on TV when he is seriously trying to help someone which is the reason I do not give medical advice or any advice for that matter, I learned that right away.
Sorry, too, idrankwhat and Jungian but seems to be the nature of the beast.
I would suggest you help out in the Medical section of ThaiVisa. Moderator Sheryl (not sure who the other moderators are without checking) is quick to spot any nonsense (or stem it if alerted via Report button and/or private message). She's an excellent resource and could use some help on the Medical forum, I'd think.
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If I remember correctly isn't W.A.R Shaw, the guy who wrote Consul in Paradise buried in the Chiang Mai Cemetery with his Thai wife, not sure if she was a Christian though.
Is that the Foreign Cemetery? (Wonder if the spirits argue about the best pizza?)
Do you have to be Christian to take up residence there?
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One of the more illustrious Thai Visa members Tigerbeer, has a big furniture joint on the Super Highway near Carrefour.
Could someone post the location, please?
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Gave up on UBC too as rarely watch TV and without BBC it is a total waste.
Occasionally I have seen English language news/other programs running amidst the "regular" Thai stuff.
Perhaps we could make a list of anything watchable at a consistent time each day/week here.
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Hi All,
Fairly new arrivals in Chiang mai, need to know if there are any regular ex-pat gatherings/meetings/socials that might be held. Any know of such please?
Hi Dave,
See your fairly new to Thai Visa, do you realise there is a separate Chiang Mai forum ?
Best
Steve
Agreed; you should get plenty of help and info from the Chiang Mai section, from fellow veterans in particular, I'd imagine.
"Welcome you to Chiang Mai!"
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Latest copy of City Life (a free English language magazine available around Chiang Mai) is just out & has an article with a good overview of Thai attitudes, both male and female, on this topic.
The article is called "Perfect Women" and was written by James Austin Farrell.
You can read it online at chiangmainews.com/ecmn/viewfa.php?id=2586/
I am not an sponsor/friend/relative/gik or anything else of the author or the editor or the publisher of this magazine but I do recommend it as it usually has at least a few good feature articles -- worth a look.
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(But I wonder about legal implications, as per the experience of the poster's uncle in LA?)Unofficial polygamy is tolerated here.However, culturally, this is certainly true. This made me check the definition of polygamy. (Wiki came up at the top of the search list -- have a look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygamy if you have a chance. It's quite interesting.)
Anyway, I verified that polygamy is a one-way street.
Wiki says:
In social anthropology, polygamy is the practice of marriage to more than one spouse simultaneously. Historically, polygamy has been practiced as polygyny (one man having more than one wife), or as polyandry (one woman having more than one husband), or, less commonly as group marriage (husbands having many wives and those wives having many husbands).In the Thai context, a wife is traditionally seen as having fulfilled her marital duties primarily by the production of children and will remain the core of the man's family. The (usually) younger "minor wives are for fun, for "romantic" play, for sex, for escape and entertainment. Sometimes this develops into something "deeper", but the distinction in thinking about kinds of love (wife/mother and lover) remains. In fact, some Thais will say that an "appropriate" wife & mother should not be an overtly sexual person but rather the opposite; a motherly, modest person and good good homemaker and role model of the virtuous Thai woman. (This may be more Thai/Chinese thinking, or the result of Thai influence on Thai culture ?). In other words, I think Thai culture does consider it possible to love different women in different ways, but I am not sure if they think of it as equally, and I do not know what the differentiation between different mia nois might be made.
In any case, Thai women are still seen as having a sexual "expiry" date -- post-production of children or at menopause (though the right to play with others at whim seems to be commonly accepted at almost any point.) This has changed in many countries, with the advent of hormonal therapies for women and the whole "60 is the new 40" thing. This has needed to occur since women now live many decades past their fertile years. (Forget the statistics but it's extraordinary if you look them up -- just how short lifespans were even a century ago.) I don't think many Thai women have such access and, even if they did, male/culturally instilled attitudes would probably override the options they open up.
In this case, the culture supports the "biology" of male desires ... but how do Thai men and women see the role/s of love amidst all this?
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pattaya_girl: Impossible
http://www.rhapsody.com/elvis-presley/live...ble/lyrics.html
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I don't think it is uncommon for Thai men to have a wife and a couple gf on the side. The wife usually knows it but for some reason accepts it. Hard to say if he really loves all of them, or just likes a change of pace.
... and to what extent is our concept of "love" shaped by culture? and our behaviour?
Is there a "true" (sexual/romantic) love that transcends all cultural boundaries ... is "universal" ... or do people from different cultures tend to hold different views of what "love" is?
I expect some foreigners would say they think the Thai man could love each of the women, though perhaps in different ways; while other foreigners would say that it's mainly a case of opting for a "change of pace" in a culture which accepts such arrangements.
What would Thai men say? Thai women?
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JR Texas:
Criticism is not always "negative." It is interesting that so many people assume this from the start. Criticism is often "positive criticism."
I wish more posters would take the time to grasp this concept as I think it might diminish the "Love Thailand or Leave it Responses" that are frequent here.......it gets to be like a mud slinging match.
If you say anything "negative" about Thailand you are tagged as "poor" or "depressed" or "angry" or "crazy," or "Thailand hater," etc., etc. Nobody tags you as "genuinely concerned about the state of affairs."
Positive criticism is meant to generate something positive, not something negative.
Wai Wai:
Agreed!
I think that some foreign posters here a adopt a defensiveness about Thais and Thailand for one or both of two main reasons.
These are:
a. psychological (formed roots in/connections with Thailand for a variety of reasons & see a need to make this "acceptable" to themselves and/or others; a number of varieties and combinations thereof)
b. financial (involved in businesses which they fear will suffer from frank discussion of the shortcomings of Thais and Thailand
Doggie:
let me add:
c. people who simply accept that they are living as guests in a foreign country and accept (tolerate) the cultural differences as one would as polite guests towards their hosts
d. people who simply have not experienced the level of negativity of living here as seem to be experienced by some posters apparently on a daily basis.
e. people who keep a sense of perspective about the "negatives" and understanding many of these are part and parcel of living in a foreign culture with language/cultural barriers.
by the way I am not looking at Thailand through rose tinted glasses, as I acknowledge there are difficulties/problems/issues...but hey, when and if these difficulties affect my enjoyment of life here, I know where the airport is. For me, the positives still outweigh the negatives and I am happy to be here, albeit a few minor complains here and there. My enjoyment has increased since I stopped mixing with NEGATIVE farangs and try to meet more Thais and other open and positive-minded farangs.
Doggie: I, too, know where the airport is. I, too, would not be here if positives did not outweigh negatives (though if some foreigners are negative I can accept that as their point of view and am interested in knowing why).
However, that's not at all the point I wanted to make. I was talking about what I perceive to be the two primary causes of defensiveness regarding Thais and Thailand which can be observed on this forum. (There are, no doubt, other possible causes.)
Also, I do agree with the poster who wrote that overly positive people can be the source of much trouble. A critical eye (perspective & balance) is always of value. People with such an eye will not be defensive ...
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The two policies I know are:
1. Widen many of the roads within the city. This policy was universally detested and the banners protesting the policy are still hanging along those condemned areas of the city. I think in Thailand most people when they associate developers and politicians assume the worst.
2. To solve the pollution problem of the city by placing 8 fans (yep, you read right) at the end of Nawarat bridge.
I saw the video and it is who it's supposed to be. She is with her bodyguard in a hotel room having sex. She is married to a different man. I know this happens in the west as well but this is far from acceptable in Thailand.
Thanks for a concrete response at last, Loaded
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Once you understand it is all one way here, regards give and take, then it is no longer baffling.
Heh!
You either grow up and join the real world as Malaysia would appear to be doing, or you take the Thai route - bury your head in the sand and emit a continuous stream of BS from your other end. I think the first was "Thailand won't be affected by the global downturn", to the latest ludicrous sky-high tourist predictions for next year!Yes, and what is really quite disturbing about that is the undertones of a Maoist PRC/Myanmar/N. Korean style.
While I only have a visitor's impressions of Malaysia, I certainly agree with this comment:
On the occasions I've been to Malaysia, I've had absolutely no language problems, the majority of ordinary people there have a good command of English, which is the main language of the international business world. The Malayasian government have made an excellent long term decision here, which I am sure will pay off for them in the future.Similarly Singapore, it would seem to me. While both countries are tightly controlled, they do appear to be moving forward and have been for some time now.
For decades I have met countless people from Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong in Australia who were fully fluent in English, savvy, completely up to date with international professional standards and practices & able to perform at that level -- essentially bi-cultural. Even the mainland Chinese who began to appear in greater numbers since circa mid 1980's had sound academic backgrounds in their fields, and were thinkers and insatiable questioners and learners who displayed remarkable abilities to bring themselves "up to speed" with the world they were entering.
Contemporary China is moving ahead rapidly. Those controlling Thailand seems to want to revert to the conditions of pre-revolutionary China.
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Criticism is not always "negative." It is interesting that so many people assume this from the start. Criticism is often "positive criticism."
I wish more posters would take the time to grasp this concept as I think it might diminish the "Love Thailand or Leave it Responses" that are frequent here.......it gets to be like a mud slinging match.
If you say anything "negative" about Thailand you are tagged as "poor" or "depressed" or "angry" or "crazy," or "Thailand hater," etc., etc. Nobody tags you as "genuinely concerned about the state of affairs."
Positive criticism is meant to generate something positive, not something negative.
Agreed!
I think that some foreign posters here a adopt a defensiveness about Thais and Thailand for one or both of two main reasons.
These are:
a. psychological (formed roots in/connections with Thailand for a variety of reasons & see a need to make this "acceptable" to themselves and/or others; a number of varieties and combinations thereof)
b. financial (involved in businesses which they fear will suffer from frank discussion of the shortcomings of Thais and Thailand
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Seriously, though, this form of behaviour is a sign of a relationship/person in (some) trouble, at least in western terms (and yes, the cultural difference of a tendency to avoidance by Thais is quite a major complication here). Just google something like " psychology "silent treatment" " and you will find much (western) analysis as well as solutions.
Note that "silent treatment" as a punitive behaviour is what we mean here, not someone just taking time out to collect their thoughts (and they should, ideally, explain that this is what they are doing). Essentially, it is controlling/abusive behaviour; the severity could vary a good deal.
I think the OP has gone silent now. Could be
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My first comment is that you can get most of what you are looking for by just moving to a small northern coastal community in Australia, with a hel_l of a lot less hassle.
That was my first thought, exactly.
Are you still relatively young? What is your financial situation? Do you have established careers?
Thailand is not the place to establish or build a career, other than in a limited number of professions. It's -- of course -- not a great time to try to open a business, especially in a foreign country, and, some would say, it's especially difficult in Thailand.
Note that it is extremely difficult to get a work permit for part time work.
Take a year or so off to travel and spend time here, sure. Maybe two. Beyond that, you may start to significantly lose contact with Australian workplaces/business scene & their expectations and dynamics -- happens more & more quickly these days. Some people take the view that response to your resume will suffer from a few years in Asia (I don't think all Australian employers have that mindset, by any means, but some may.)
You should know that in recent times, people who had retired to Thailand thinking they had more than adequately ensured financial security have had to return home. Many others are delaying retirement at this point.
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So sit her down and tell her that it is not how you want your relationship to work.
Right on!
I only skimmed through this, but ...
What's going on is not a good sign in a relationship. Good communication is key, and you do have to work much harder in an intercultural one.
Hope that life has returned to normal.
Once it has, you need to sit down together and develop a strategy for handling problems in future that works for both of you. (There are heaps of books on such topics and much material online which will guide you through this process.)
Make that strategy as precise and explicit as possible. Don't let this slide and have the pattern repeat itself over and over.
Good luck. Seems you are considering leaving anyway; let us know the outcome.
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That said, there are a lot of things about society here that could be improved. Same can be said, of course, for USA and elsewhere.
Precisely.
I think that is a point many Thais don't quite appreciate. Many of us come from countries where media and people generally are often very engaged in whatever maybe happening at a local, provincial or national level. Discussion is considered usual and a form of participation, and may often be critical. Being critical is not seen as a fault. In Australia, certainly, a degree of cynicism and anti-authoritarianism is considered the norm. [One political party's slogan was (is?) "Keep the b******s honest".]
If anything, I think many expats are highly aware of the sensitivity of the Thai national "face".
Amongst themselves, though, expats may tend to compensate for their daily efforts at face maintenance -- but that's the same with expats all around the world, too.
I think it's true that a certain sub-group of expats in Thailand are highly cynical, sometimes embittered people. I know of many such people and their outlook on life is often, in fact, understandable. Again, this would apply to sub-groups of expats around the world. Perhaps there are more such people here? I don't know.
Some expats become cynical and embittered after time/experiences here, too.
Perhaps Thailand and its people need to look at themselves more critically to understand why some expats react as they do? (Open question.)
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However, we can surely discuss the achievements/non-achievements of public figures here? And opinions of such folk?
Edit: previous comment not directed at Tywais.
I don't particularly care about the alleged item
, other than if it has a direct bearing on the official work of the person in question. I understand such matters should be written about with caution. -
If you wish to read the CM Mail, you can do so more or less for free, online.
In that way you waste your time, but not your money
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What's supposedly on this video? What's it all about? How does it relate to her domicile issue that removed her? Or does it not have anything to do and is simply smear stuff?
If someone does have a link to it, please PM it to me if for whatever reason they don't want to post it to the thread.
Me, too. I don't need a link, just an indication of what it is about. It's perfectly alright to say "It was alleged that ....".
Also, can we return to a discussion of what the mayor has achieved/not? Is she just a show pony? If yes, is something going on behind the scenes (o.k., we know there always is, but what, exactly ?
Why, exactly, is she disliked?
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My wife, who is friends with her family, says she has been an exceedingly poor mayor. She (my wife) also recants her protestations it was not the mayor in those videos. Not that that should matter, but of course it does very much. She's finished I imagine. Too bad.
Yes, please elaborate ...
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Thanks for the info, dr t.l.
There is a site maintenance and tree planting scheduled this weekend at Huay Tueng Tao lake/park north of the city, with Ricky of ICCM and Gum Hak Doi Suthep .Dear one and all
Please come to Huey Teng Tao - Tree Planting 9:30 Saturday 27th June and meet at the flying fox jump, West side of the lake past the big Buddha.
Bring gloves, sturdy shoes, long sleeved shirt & trousers and digging tool. And please let me know if you can come .
On Friday 26th from 9 a.m. we will do some preparation & weeding of rank growth where CMIS students planted in 2008. Ricky zero84 985 966eight
And a Work Permit
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or
Calling An Ambulance - How To?
in Chiang Mai
Posted
Made me google. You may like to save these numbers, for whatever they are worth ...
http://www.yellow.co.th/YellowPages/Chiang...vices_map.1.htm