Aurelien

1 hour ago, Tomtomtom69 said:

 

Yeah but you're more likely to exchange small talk with a European grocery checkout clerk than a Thai one.

 

I've observed Thai customers barely acknowledge checkout clerks or any service employee when they are addressed. Yesterday, a Dairy Queen employee asked a customer if it was his order. He barely mustered up the strength to say anything. He just grunted something. 

 

Thais aren't like Americans; who will engage in small talk with people who are serving them. Sure, in small shops and small towns, there may be some small talk between people who know each other, but almost never between a visitor from outside or someone who is shopping at a particular store for the first time.

 

I do engage in small talk sometimes, though rarely with busy clerks, unless related to my shopping. 

This is absolutely right. But the opposite is true as well, Thai clercks hardly say goodbye or have a nice day (unless it's a very small business) whereas in Europe, we would profusely wish each other a nice day and such..

2 hours ago, richard_smith237 said:

What you are witnessing, I believe, is a reflection of the same quiet indifference with which many Thais interact outside their immediate circles of influence.

 

While often observed specifically within Thai society, this phenomenon, I would argue, is simply a mirror of a broader, universal human pattern. Across cultures and societies, the nature of our interactions is largely shaped by invisible, concentric circles of connection and familiarity.

 

These circles of influence can be described as follows:

 

1. Inner Circle: Family and Dearest Friends
Within this circle, interactions are marked by deep care, generosity, and emotional investment. Relationships here are intimate, nurturing, and resilient, often carrying a profound sense of duty and devotion.

 

2. Middle Circle: Friends, Acquaintances, Business and Work Associates
In this space, interactions are governed by politeness, mutual respect, and social convention. While relationships can be warm and even meaningful, they are often transactional and bounded by context rather than unconditional loyalty.

 

3. Outer Circle: Strangers and the Unconnected
Beyond the familiar, most people slip into a landscape of general indifference. Strangers are barely acknowledged, unseen until their presence overlaps or interrupts our own path. Here, interactions are minimal, incidental, or absent altogether.

 

I don't think this layered social dynamic is unique to Thailand; it seems almost innate to the human condition. At its core, it reflects the natural limitations of emotional bandwidth - the reality that genuine care cannot be infinitely extended without diluting its meaning.

 

In Thai culture, this structure may feel more visible because of the country's strong emphasis on social harmony (known as 'kreng jai') and its distinct separation of social roles. But the underlying principle - warmth within, coolness without - transcends borders and speaks quietly of how all of us, in our own ways, prioritise intimacy and conserve emotional energy.

Thank you chatgpt ? 

13 minutes ago, Ralf001 said:

 

How often do you bath ?

These days, sometimes 3 .. and i groom myself too 

Don't get me wrong, Thais are lovely when they hold business transactions in stores, in the streets, in taxis... the cleaner lady says hello to me everytime i see her in the hallway.. but if you're not in their 'perimeter' anymore, you're like air to them. 
I'm at the supermarket, i want to buy broccolis. In front of me are a couple of Thais, and the vegetable lady spontaneously holds them plastic bags so they can wrap the broccolis inside them. Come my turn, I'm being ignored... I had to come to the vegetable lady, and point to the plastic bag. "Saitong, nung krap". I had to repeat several times until she finally decided to give one to me. 
I enter the pharmacy at the same time as Thais. Thais are directly being greated and served. "Hello, how can i help you?" I very distinctely put myself against a counter, clearly indicating that i need something, but no employee would come to me. Everybody see me, but nobody comes. I had to wait until the Thais were done, that finally and employeed comes to serve me. Speaking in good English too. In fact, I know all their staff speak good English, as I go there often.
Down my condo is a mini mart i go to every few days to buy cigarettes. The employee, a young Thai man, seems very happy to see me everytime, big smiles, kindness, chit chat etc... I'm walking down the street, see him walking as well, and thought "oh, our paths are going to cross, we'll probably greet each other". Once we cross, I look at him, just waiving my hand slighlty to say hello, and he doesn't even look at me like...so weird. There's no way he didn't see me, or even if he's shy he could just waive his head and that's it...
I know this is trivial and it probably doesn't apply in the most tourist based areas of the cities, but once a little outside of the usual hustle and bustle, and the behavior of Thais change drastically I found...

20 minutes ago, Robert_Smith said:

How awful it must be, as a western educated individual, to be a teacher in a Thai school, knowing what we know - yet powerless to implement anything..

 

regards,

bob.

I'm only doing volunteer work, which means a few hours here and there so in reality i'm not even part time... But I could never imagine teaching full time in schools here

After living in Thailand for years and dating exclusively with Thai women, I'm pretty sure I'll never go back to Western women for a number of reasons.

But did any of you here went back to a Western girl, coming from dating a Thai girl, and if so how was it ? 

Any news about what happened since 2 weeks ? 

A lots of what we call 10s, are actually 7 or 6s after all the make up, jewelry, filters and clothes (push up bras....) are gone...

We humans function by social imitation. If you grow up in an environment where everybody has tattoos and having a tattoo is perceived to be 'cool', chances are you're gonna get a tattoo later too. Especially if you grow up in a society like Thailand, which has a pretty big tattoo scene. 

5 minutes ago, Blueman1 said:

 You'll possibly find she'll bring a friend "chaperone" the first few dates.She Definately Will....

People keep saying that about Thai girls but in my dating experience here, it never occured once that a date would bring a friend with her

3 hours ago, Bill97 said:

Another high school forum thread

didn't you like high school?

23 minutes ago, BigStar said:

First step is ask her if she has a boyfriend. Asking for LINE right away is too presumptuous. When she doesn't give it to you, then things might feel a little awkward. You could ask for some obscure med that she'd have to order, and then ask her to text you on LINE when she has it.

 

My pharmacist, whom I've known for years, and I like each other quite a bit, and we had a little moment last time I was in her shop. But she's quite married, and I have a long-term gf, so that's that.

I feel like asking her if she has a bf is on an equal level of awkwardness. Asking her LINE could be something like : 'I enjoy chatting with you, maybe we can add each other on Line'

7 minutes ago, Gandtee said:

Ask her for extra large condoms and check the reaction. The chemistry might ignite.😜

I would do it, but then she'll think it's destined for another girl 

I've used LineMan application for food delivery for years, never had issues. Around 1 month ago, the fees suddenly became higher, up to 20 bahts per order, no matter the distance. It used to be only 2 or 3 bahts. At first i thought it was because of rainy days but it stayed that way. More, the app keeps canceling my orders and i have to try 3 or 4 times before finding a driver while before, it was instantaneous. Any ideas why ? Or did you notice the same thing ? 

It's silly to say 'Thai people are like this, Thai people are like that'. There are stupid and unrespectful people everywhere, and Thais are no exceptions. Likewise, it's stupid to say ' oh but you don't understand, its because of the culture bla bla...' Being reduced to 'a farang' is silly. 

On 5/14/2024 at 11:33 AM, Wandr said:

Maybe he is good, but I didn't see any evidence of it.

I did see that he has no modern equipment. He uses spirit lamps and implements that seem to be imported from a witch doctor 's hut. He didn't even have an x-ray viewer. I took a film and he took it outside and peered at it against some light.

This was a couple of years ago. If he has modernized since then - my apologies in that case.

no that hasn't changed, but his advice were much better than any more 'modern' doctors when i went to see him... previous reputable ENT i went to several times could not really understand my issue and kept prescribing antibiotics and talked about surgery. Dr. Chalermpong was more direct in his diagnosis , no bs. And in the end, his treatment proved the best one

A lot of times, it's because they learn early on that they don't appeal to Thai men or that Thai men treat them like <deleted> by bullying them. Especially the dark skin girls. Thais men can be quite racists and the idea that dark skin is ugly is real here. Same for some facial traits deemed unattractive for girls. 

Another reason is if the girl is a single mother, Thai men will not touch her anymore. 

Money is ofc a main reason. Almost all women around the world are looking to date up and to be taking care of. This is especially obvious in poorer countries like Thailand. 

Some are just attracted to differences, and have been disppointed by Thai men and like foreign men. 

Some have a big penis fetish. 

... it's different for everybody. 

Thai girls mainly date Thai men however and have zero interests in foreign men because why would they go out of their way to learn English, and try to form a relationship with someone not sharing any cultural similarities or references with her? 

In my experience here, almost all Thai girls i've dated were all looking to leave Thailand one way or another, for job or travel. Most of them did, sometimes with the help of foreigner, sometimes by themselves. 

Poor level of general education, no knowledge about anything going on outside of Thailand will do that

The longer i'm here and the more experience i have, i feel like Thai girls can tell...and are much more defensive whereas naive me first time in Thailand had much less trouble... Maybe i've changed and lost all sex appeal ? Or do girls can tell and 'farang roo mak mai dee'? 

6 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

 

I've seen countless situations where Thai girls are dating 3-4 foreigners at once, all thinking they are the only one. It's like the fisherman who keeps 4 hooks with bait in the water at all times to increases their chances of catching the biggest fish. Thai women are almost always looking for the bigger, better deal. Especially a young one who is from humble beginnings. That is why they typically even bother with foreigners to begin with. Otherwise they would likely stick with their own kind and not have to deal with all the language and cultural differences and challenges. Sounds like your best option is to cut bait and chalk it up to experience. Even if she comes back to you at some point, it's quite possible she's not a girl of high integrity. 
 

 

oh definitely, she's a messed up one...got a kid at 17 from a Thai guy, the guy was beating her and then left her, she raised the kid on her own, now she left her in Thailand to be taken care of while she's trying to live the Western lifestyle in Canada... she's screaming red flags all along, I met her once, she was lovely tho and very polite, not the typical 'bad girl' profile..

Well we were chatting before she went up there, and she told me she was trying to go there, but she said her visa had been denied 2 times already... When she finally got it, she left Thailand in the week after. We were getting pretty close, and we keep chatting up to this day via IG or Snap. Problem is, she's the most gorgeous lady i've ever seen. Otherwise I would i've said 'screw that' a long time ago... But yeah no idea why she would keep chatting with me, syaing she misses me and all that, if she's truly with another guy. Granted, she's still very young (22), so there's that