Ulysses

Thai Wanderer,

You are a scary person ------ because you do not know me, and yet your analysis of the situation seems to be dead on in a lot more ways than one. Not that you are a SCARY person. It is not a bad scary, but a good scary.

I could care less what gender you are ------ because your gender is not an issue (even though some seem to feel that if you are a male you should not be posting here). For me, male or female, is not an issue, but rather the advice / constructive criticisim.

Which brings about another point.

My communication ability and my choice of words. What I say and what I mean. I may not be the effective communicator I thought I was.

Is she really listening? He might not think so. Maybe just a simple nice guy who loves his wife and is happy. Afterall ghe takes her everywhere. His way is maybe simply to "do" things. Whereas hers is to "talk" about them! If he is not talking enough, maybe she is not communicating enough to him by actions instead of words. Nagging does very little positive and it's not exactly high level communicating.

She was a private eye. Perhaps she over analyses things, and he doesn't. Maybe she sees problems which he doesn't, and he gets fed up with this.

Thai Wanderer,

You are an extremely scary person.

I could care less what gender you are.

I say he drags me everywhere, you say he takes me everywhere. I see it as dragging, and he most likely also sees it as "taking". I am so annoyed that I can't even see it as positive, and I refer to it as negative and a burden.

Maybe I am not listening, I might be too upset to listen, and maybe I am just seeing only the negative, instead of focusing on the positive (which obviously he tries to or does).

Do I over analyse things? Yes, I do. Is it a problem? Apparently so. Did I ever look at it as a problem? No, I didn't. Do I see problems when he does not? Yes I most certainly do.

And I did use the word "I" alot. Didn't realise it, but then I rarely feel like there is a "we" apparently even when there is a "we". I will look for the reading material you have recommended.

Did I use to nag? Yes I did! But I considered it to be constructive nagging. I don't nag anymore. I just try not to care.

He has high blood pressure, chloesterol, is overweight, and smokes like a chimney on fire.

So, I reduce the salt in his food, try and get him to excercise, and have quit trying to get him to stop smoking.

The result: I make a meal, with enough salt for the average person, and what does he do? Makes some smart ass comment about not having enough salt.

I stopped focusing on what he ate and when he ate, and he gained a lot of weight. I mean a lot. His friends looks at me, then look at him, and I can hear their thoughts.. Is she trying to kill him?

He criticizes every single attempt I make to try and whatever. He is a walking time bomb (his father had a heart attack) and I do not do death very well. Okay so george burns lived to a ripe old age of almost (if not 100) and smoked everyday.

This is a major issue, and he looks at me, and says.. I am negative.

Do I critic him? Not really. I think he is brilliant, but selfish (when it comes to how his life affects mine). I constantly praise him. I compliment him daily. What do I get? Nothing, (which is not so bad) because when he does say something, it is critical and he makes rude comments in front of people which I think is a low blow. Not all the time, but you just do not do that.

I said. " I feel like no matter I do, nothing is good enough for you". Can you at least say something nice, just once in a while?

His response... "ohh here we go again"

He said "you are not my mother I already have one"

I have never even bothered to respond to that, because he is right. I am not.

BUT then again.. maybe I am controlling. And perhaps I just need to find the happy in between so that he can have his space, and not feel like I am trying to run his life.

By the way he is not thai.

I guess Ulysses can decide for herself what she finds more useful. For all I know, Ulysses is a gay man. Personally, I'm not a fan of men posting aggressive, confrontational-bordering-on-disrespectful replies to women or gay men asking for advice about their relationships in the ladies forum.

For the record, in this instance, I am not male, I am female.

However, if I had been a gay man, would I be any less deserving of help?

I posted here in the Ladies Section because

1. I would have been crucified in the general section

2. Quite a few male posters who frequent this section are pretty rational in their thinking.

3. For the most part the women who post tend to be supportive and offer suggestions.

I need help getting my sig other to listen.

I am un-happy and have been so for a while.

He will not accept counseling (have asked for 3 yrs).

He thinks it can all be worked out by being happy.

Well I am not happy, and I am tired of trying to get him to listen. He is ADD or just plain deaf.

I am tired of the finger pointing, whatever I say is wrong he says is wrong with me too, okay then fine, lets sit and talk about it and see how to fix it, but he just can't be bothered. Does not like confrontation, nor conflict. Wants to keep his head buried int he sad. At least that is how I feel and how I interpret the situation.

IF you ask him (assuming his vocal cords will function when put on the spot) then it will most likely be a different story. But I wouldn't know because his vocal cords are non functional when I try to talk.

I know he loves me, or at least I think he loves me, but, if you really loved someone you would listen and try.

My last option is to either threaten to pack and leave, or just do it, and be done with it.

I hate threats and feel that is an un-fair way to manipulate a person. Besides, I don't want to be with someone that I had to threaten. and I would not want to be with somone who threatened me to make me stay either.

So... what are my options. Because quite frankly I am really tired of trying.. But then again, maybe I am not trying enough. Maybe I should try harder.. but then what for? Just to get shot down again? I am completely riddled with holes.

Suggestions please.

AND no... he is not cheating on me.. that much I know. Besides dragging me every where he goes, I was a private eye in another life.

Another good website is www.thailandgolfzone.com

Thanks Folks!

I need to make a visa run to Laos, and will be going to the capital. I will be driving my car and leaving it in Thailand, near the border.

Does anyone have any suggestions or know of any secure places to leave ones vehicle?

Thanks

As I understand one does not need to leave Thailand to change a tourist visa into a non-immigrant visa. The granting of change of type of visa and extension of stay is at the discretion of the immigration officer.

However, I have heard that you must have 21 days left on your visa for this to be even considered.

Does anyone have any concrete information on this?

Thanks.

According to the Thai online immigration site, a person with a tourist visa or in TS can apply for a change in visa status at the immigration Bureau downtown. This is to change to a Non-immigrant Visa. (3.3)

So, why is it then that everyone has to do visa runs to change their status? Or am I missing something?

www.immigration.go.th

I think I read the wife is the daughter of some Brunei Minister.

So now Thailand is catching up with crime in the rest of the world. Although I am not sure anyone would rob an entire party in the west.

Why did his step-daughter remain in Bangkok (during the year) to help with his defense?

His wife looked pretty good for being much older.

Enjoy the holidays with your family, and listen to some Bing for me.

In general Thai's pay their maids 4,000 /mo. This is for a live in. However, they are allowed to go home and visit the family for extended periods of time.

For a maid that speaks english takes care of two kids, goes to the grocery, cooks and cleans, I have known them to make 8,000 /mo.

Some people think they are worth more, and may want 12,000 and above, after working for expats on expat packages. Considering how much medical Dr's working for the govt make in this country, I think that is too much for a maid.

Bambi is a good place to look or have a friend who has a maid that she likes, as her friends for you. Check references.

I just had my work permit cancelled today and they cancelled my visa at the same time.

The woman handling my visa asked me if I was returning to europe and I said no.

She then asked if I had my tickets, and I asked why, and she replied, you have until the 10th to leave the country.

So, maybe the 7 day extension depends on the immigration officer, but I have until this friday, the 10th of november stamped in my passport.

I told her I thought I would have until next week. At least 7 more days, and she responded, "if you need to stay longer, then go to the main immigration office and apply for a 14 day stay".

Can a BOI visa be changed to a regular buisness visa without leaving thailand?

Try Madame Heng soap.

one of the best ideas I have ever heard ... they fix one(if not the ) of the worst plastic surgery disasters in US history in Thailand that no one else could fix and it makes thailand the new Plastic surgery king ... the res they would get would be remarkable . Like that guy who went for bypass surgery in Bangkok they have worn that guys story out , his was about cost ... Mine would be about skill and then I could expose the criminal that did this too me . The way to do this would be to get a 20/20 or 60 minutes or dateline to cover the whole thing . John K you are on to something .. I am just so dam sick and have to help to put this together and have almost given up , but when I read and idea like that I must say I am inspired .

good entertainment but accomplishes nothing .... they do those shows for ratings not to help people most of the time ... I have written 20/20 ... 60 minutes ...Dateline ... but you need the the Dr.'s to back you up and they will not .. when the Dr.'s in this country are too afraid of saying anything bad about another Dr. you are screwed ,, that is why they will not work on me here they do not want to be involved in prolonged testimony and court proceeding by coming out and saying how bad you were hurt by another Dr. and what they had to do to try and fix it ... but maybe a Thai Dr. would .

What an entertaining story... the sad thing is I wadding through all 5 pages.

So basically from what I gather, John K, Sobe and little Orphan Annie are one and the same person.

John HAS to be Sobe, as his defense of a complete stranger whom he has not met physically in person, is not logical.

Anne has to be Sobe, as her entrance into the conversation was soley to add some credibility to his existence.

On one hand you want to contact 20/20, but then on the other hand you already have! As though anyone here really believes that with all the arrogant Dr.s that the US spills out, there is not one in all 50 states, that would not love the media attention you would bring to him and his practice.

It makes for a nice epsiode of Nip Tuck (which I am sure is where you got the idea for your baseline story). Maybe I will write a script and send it in and finish it for you.

Call me cruel, but this story has more holes than swiss cheese.

Actually there are a couple of shoe stores on the same side as siam bootery that all have large shoes displayed in the window. Women having a hard time finding shoes, might also find shoes their size there.

I assume you have your account information on file somewhere, or perhaps an old bill with your address and account info on it? If you have this information then they can look up your account for you.

The main office (I think it is the main office) is opposite/near Central Chidlom. I beleive it is on the street that intersects with Sukumvit, closer to Petchburi road.

Otherwise, if you do not pay they will send you a reminder.. and tell you they will cut off your electricity unless you pay at the main branch.

To tell the truth, I met the girls in Samui, no bar girls though. Question: What is an Isaan girl doing in Koh Samui?

Answer: What is a Swede, or a German, or an American doing in Thailand?

At least the Isaan girl is Thai, and is still in her own country.

First off, I am using my b.f's account to post.

So.. what makes most of you guys (farangs) think you are so good in bed? Did you take a poll? Is it based on the comments of women you claim are interested in you for status/money/better life?

If you assume they are interested in you for the above and not "for who you are as a person" then maybe for SOME of you, your ego's are being stroked.

Women will tell other women how good or bad a man is in bed. In general, we will never tell a guy, what a "good lay" he was. If a women were to tell a man, it would 95% be because he was a bad lay, and we know it, and we don't want him to feel bad. It is like faking an orgasm so that we can move on.

I care.. which way was the wind blowing?

dude! This is a pattern.

Did you have the same effect with women in your home country?

My vote goes to the Paradee on Koh Samed.

They will even set up a table for you on the beach for dinner.

Well I hate to say it, but, maybe her visa is being denied because her story just doesn't jive.

Two years in england married but speaks only a little english? So her daughter spoke English to her Father and only Thai to her while in Thailand? and her husband was fluent enough in thai for her not to have to speak english?

Why is the child not with her fathers family in England?

Looking from the outside, it does seem odd.

Assuming she is 100% legit, Doesn't her daughter come back for visits? I know her daughter is not yet 18, but can't she file on behalf of her mother? OR apply for a visa on behalf of her mother. As a minor can she be denied the right to be with her mother in England?