Jump to content

tamsin

Banned
  • Posts

    186
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by tamsin

  1. hi,

    i just wanted to warn that this will be a long long post, but i am looking forward to reading responses from the local thai's that might frequent this forum.

    as my topic asks, i need to know if i have ruined my relationship with my long-time thai GF with a prenutial/pre-marital agreement.

    me - 37 year old canadian that met my thai GF in bangkok 2 years ago & lived with for 18 months. i have enuff money that i am comfortable & can afford to take life ez & want to find someone to share life with.

    thai GF - 29 year old ex-bar girl that i clicked with when we, well clicked. after living with this girl i know she is honest, generous, a great cook, same sense of whacky humour as myself, & we seem to enjoy each other's company. i think we are basically best friends. she has an 11 year old daughter (with local hometown thai guy) but has never previously been married. her daughter has always lived in the GF's home town with her mother (GF's, daughter's, grandmother that is) while the GF worked in bangkok to support her family in the home town.

    we - we lived together in thailand for 18 months & we just seemed to mesh. things couldn't have been better from where i stood. we were a perfect fit the entire time.

    so after the new thai visa law changes in the fall of 2006 i decided i had to return home to canada. i wanted my GF to come back with me but her tourist visa was refused. i thought at that time no problem because i took the whole tourist visa process very lightly & she was refused as a result.

    so i returned home in december 2006 & we kept in touch almost daily. missing my GF beyond belief i asked my GF marry me. she said YES... woohoo ME! she told me how excited her entire family was that she was getting married to me (i have met her mother two times & daughter several times while we were living together in bangkok). i was going to be the first honky to marry a thai in her hometown... it seemed like some kind of an event to be!

    we re-applied for a tourist visa for her in april, while i am here in canada & she in bangkok. again i was mistakenly sure it would be no-brainer as i provided so much extra info this time about us. it seems that might have actually been a problem, but that is a whole other discussion in itself. the result was that my GF was again refused a tourist visa to visit me in canada.

    so no big problem as we were preparing to marry when i quit my job here in canada to return to thailand in september. we were first planning to do the lawful marriage in bangkok that canada would recognize so we could start her permanent residence application ASAP. we were then going to do the marriage ceremony in her home town as per thai buddist marriage ceremony tradition. i was actually so looking forward to this ceremony as i thought i would quite a great experience!

    so we have been planning to marry for 6 months now. we talked about everything including dowry to her mother, my GF's (would then be wife) permanent residence to canada after the marriage, sponsoring her daughter to come to canada after my GF was settled in canada & living together while i worked & socked away some cash so we could eventually retire back in thailand... where i really wanted to get back to!

    ever being the stickler for detail, i presented my GF with a prenuptial/pre-marital agreement two weeks ago that would protect everything i have been working for in the past 12 years before we marry. i already was aware that a prenup was not really required for us while we resided in thailand as the thai law already protects a person's pocessions/belongings before a marriage. the prenup i was presenting was in the (hopefully) very unlikely event things between me & the GF went sour & we decided to divorce. i just wanted to protect what i had going into the marriage.

    she has alot of land in thailand that is already protected by thai law. i wouldn't want any of that land, even if it was possible in the course of a divorce. i just wanted the same for my pocessions going in.

    i think i have made the HUGE mistake of thinking that a prenuptial/pre-marital agreement wouldn't be a problem. it has turned our relationship upside down! i tried to explain that the agreement is in the UNLIKELY event things don't work out! i expect them to work out so hopefully this agreement means nothing in the end. what i currently have will be used to keep us going & happy for a long-hopeful future!

    my GF says she doesn't want anything from me in the event we ever decide to divorce. my response being, well put in ink what you say because i know divorce is nasty business & things change at that point. well she just thinks now that i don't trust her.

    i have held my ground & i will NOT marry without an agreement, whether it be with her or any female. i have worked too long & hard for what i have now to hand over half in the event things don't work out down the road. i have asked the GF how she would feel if thai family law was different & she had to give me 50% of her land in her homeown if we had to divorce.

    unfortunatley she couldn't seem to relate with me. since then everything seems to be on-hold or even pretty much cancelled. my first thoughts are to conclude that if she has such a problem with a prenutial/pre-marital agreement than money has had ALOT more to do with our relationship than what i have believed it has!

    or perhaps i really have offended my GF! although i have lived in thailand for 18+ months, there IS alot i need to learn about thai custom. did i offend in such a manner my GF is willing to write off the past two years we spent together because of a prenuptial/pre-marital agreement? i honestly can't believe she could be that offended or upset from this.

    i am wondering if the 8 months apart might be a factor in us actually drifting apart & this preuptial/pre-marital agreement is an ez way out of the relationship is that is what she really wants. i know the GF has a friend at work that wants her to move in with her to help share the rent. perhaps this friend is convincing my GF that i am not what she wnats/needs & that the GF should forget me so she can move in with this firend & help share the cost of rent. i am sure this is a LONG shot, but i am thinking of all possible reasons why my GF is so pissed off or upset about a prenuptial/pre-marital agreement i wanted to discuss! we have always been able to talk about everything, but since this we haven't been able to talk about much.

    i am beyond gravelling, but i really don't want to give up on my baby! i love her damit! if i have offended her & not even relaized it i would like to know!

    is this something that could totally offend a thai? something that might de-mean a thai?

    i am not sure what to do next. i know i love her! i hope she still loves me!

    any suggestions or input is appreciated!!!

    Here we go again. You're like the boring blokes back home who, when in a pub with their mates all having a drink and a larf, will sidle up to some random woman at the bar (probably also enjoying a drink and some convivial company. by the way) and think you can BORE HER STUPID with your problem with your wife/girlfriend, just because she shares the same gender. Na? :o

  2. this is terrible news. i havent seen the pictures yet, but i would not be prepared to lose my life for a political party. not ever.

    having said that, westerners are safe as long as they dont get involved in these protests. go about your daily lives and stay out of it and i would say you would be safe.

    It's not for a 'political party'. It's for taking a stand on the direction in which you wish your country to be headed.

  3. I've got a few students down at the demonstrations. Some of them have been going with their families. They have not been paid to go down there. They're nice kids, a bit naive certainly, not a clue about some of the more dubious ideas and characters around the PAD, but genuinely enthusiastic about it all. And not a violent thought between them.

    They are not scum.

    They don't need their heads cracked.

    I think the experience will do them some good. It'll give them something to think about and it's just good to see these kids actually becoming engaged in something outside MSN and the television.

    I agree with your post.

    I've just been speaking with my husband who's been at the site since Tuesday. Even he, as a Buddhist, was moved by the 'nam jai' of his fellow Thais. He told me everyone was helping each other with food and water. Thousands of them.

    There were some five to six hundred police up in Government House awaiting orders, but soon saw they would have been overwhelmed by the sheer numbers who turned up for the rally and daren't leave. They hadn't had anything to eat for three days, and the only water was from a tap for washing. The people at the rally gave them food and water.

    He also told me that when the police attempted to remove some people by force, they simply sat and looked at them and asked, 'you going to hit me? I won't stop you' in true Buddhist form. But he told me that for the majority of rally attendees, it wasn't at all dangerous, and what is shown on the tv are just a very small percentage of any trouble or violence there.

    I think it would do some of the posters on this forum a world of good to be able to share this kind of experience.

  4. PAD hosts on stage at Government House are calling for officials to turn on more lights on the grounds of the government compound - THAILAND OUTLOOK -

    Preparing for the impending arrest of the 9 key PAD members, PAD protesters have been on a high alert for any presence of undercover police officers.

    They chanted "turn on the lights" several times, calling for Government House officials to turn on more lights on the Government House grounds. They also claim the lights would normally have been turned on by now under normal circumstances.

    The protesters have been informed that there's a possibility police could raid the rally site at 9 p.m.

    Reckon a few heads are going to be cracked pretty soon now.

    You salivating?

  5. BREAKING - Protesters to be evicted from Government House before sunset

    Government Spokesman Wichianchote Sukchotrat said Wednesday that protesters would be removed from Government House compound before sunset.

    He was speaking to reporters at the Supreme Command at 5 pm.

    He said thousands of 191 commando police and border patrol police would be deployed to force the protesters out of Government House.

    He said police would first try to talk to the protesters to convince them to voluntarily leave the compound or else they would be forced out.

    The spokesman said the protest inside Government House needs to be ended Wednesday as the government would have to use the place for ceremony of From Mother Day to Father Day.

    He said His Royal Highness Crown Prince Maha Vajiralongkorn will chair the ceremony inside Government House on Saturday to grant royal flags for government agencies to use as part of the celebrations.

    The spokesman said the authorities need to prepare the place two days before the ceremony on Saturday.

    The Nation

    Spoke to my husband about twenty minutes ago. He says they're all inside Government house and can't get out as the police have them surrounded and are locking people up who leave! He told me around forty people were taken to the cells last night.

    is that sure? you can't lock people without reason (without emergency degree).

    Absolutely sure. He told me some want to leave but are afraid of being arrested.

  6. BREAKING - Protesters to be evicted from Government House before sunset

    Government Spokesman Wichianchote Sukchotrat said Wednesday that protesters would be removed from Government House compound before sunset.

    He was speaking to reporters at the Supreme Command at 5 pm.

    He said thousands of 191 commando police and border patrol police would be deployed to force the protesters out of Government House.

    He said police would first try to talk to the protesters to convince them to voluntarily leave the compound or else they would be forced out.

    The spokesman said the protest inside Government House needs to be ended Wednesday as the government would have to use the place for ceremony of From Mother Day to Father Day.

    He said His Royal Highness Crown Prince Maha Vajiralongkorn will chair the ceremony inside Government House on Saturday to grant royal flags for government agencies to use as part of the celebrations.

    The spokesman said the authorities need to prepare the place two days before the ceremony on Saturday.

    The Nation

    Spoke to my husband about twenty minutes ago. He says they're all inside Government house and can't get out as the police have them surrounded and are locking people up who leave! He told me around forty people were taken to the cells last night.

  7. Criminal Court issues arrest warrants for PAD's nine leaders

    If this is the case why have the Police not arrested them yet. Maybe they are afraid of the immediate consequences if they do?

    Cheers, Rick

    arresting the leaders makes the PPP look weak.

    here is the situation - these people are not leaving assuming they can continue getting food and water.

    apparently, samak does not feel that he will remain PM if he uses violence against these people.

    If Samak cannot get these people to leave, he will not be PM as government cannot function.

    So with this logic, how does Samak remain PM?

    here is a hint: he doesn't.

    It doesn't make them look weak. It ironically makes them look like they are upholding the law. This is being pushed bit by bit to an end game.

    If I was Samak, I would cordon off the protest areas and let them all rot in the sun. No one in, no one out for two weeks. If they want to protest and deprive the country of it's elected govt, I would choose to let them protest as much as they want but deprive them of the media to broadcast their idiotic message. No cameras in, no radio in, cut the internet feed to ASTV, hel_l cut the TV and radio altogether for a month, cut the electricity, and lets see how dedicated these supporters really are. If they want to wreck govt house, feel free, if they want to burn down the ministries, feel free.

    30,000 are using their "right" to "free speech and freedom of movement" to remove the rights of approximately 24 million voters to their elected government and incite the overthrow of government.

    They can convene a Parliament anywhere they like, it isn't as though it is bound to a building. That is the wonder of democracy.

    To be anything 'at heart' first you have to have one. What a horrible horrible post.

  8. You and your father in law are talking complete and utter crap. My Thai husband is there, Thai friends have been there off and on, when they can spare the time, and NOT ONE OF THEM GETS PAID A SINGLE SATUNG. They are there because they feel passionately about the future of Thailand the the continuing pillage of their country by Taksin and Samak.

    That's the stuff, Tamsin! About time those greedy swine (T & S) were shoved out, time for new snouts to have a turn at the trough of corruption!

    Deary me, nobody ever said that there weren't some real hard-core PADites leading the mob (but does your husband really believe in ending democratic elections in favour of an appointed, military-approved oligarchy?), but don't deceive yourself into thinking that the numbers aren't swollen by thousands of paid helpers!

    How very cynical.

    Do you have (no, really) Do you have any evidence, at all, for this last statement? I've just posted my personal experience. Where is your's. Nah. Didn't think you had any. Ignorant stupid post.

  9. Apparently the "PAD" have been paying people 2-300 THB to pretend to be protesters. For those who wonder why these people aren't at work, technically they are.

    Where did you get that snippet from Gym?

    Cheers, Rick

    My staff and my wife went there, as well some of our wealthy customer. I guess they wouldn't care of 300 THB. It is complete nonsense that they get paid. Actually our staff even give some money there.

    I can confirm Gym's figures: 300 Bahts per protester per day of protest. Plus free food, plus free ride to and from the protest if you come from the provinces around Bangkok. My father in law goes there, I got the information first hand from him.

    Maybe 300 Baht is little for h90's staff and customers, but for a lot of people, 300 Bahts represent 1.5 times the minimum daily wage in Bangkok (currently about 200 Bahts), so it's a very good job, less tiring than factory work and better paid.

    You and your father in law are talking complete and utter crap. My Thai husband is there, Thai friends have been there off and on, when they can spare the time, and NOT ONE OF THEM GETS PAID A SINGLE SATUNG. They are there because they feel passionately about the future of Thailand the the continuing pillage of their country by Taksin and Samak.

  10. If the box was checked, you are out of luck as you will not have any restore points. If you deleted software for your sound card try to re-install it. I guess you did check that you haven't by accident muted the sound or lowered the volume?

    Aaaaach. No. Tried Sounds and Audio Devices 'Properties' - 'No Audio Device'. Guess it's another trip to my friendly computer guy :o

  11. I have not posted before so please bear with me, I am a single 57 year old female living in the UK, I intend applying shortly for a retirement visa etc and really wanted to rent a property in the Nai Harn/Rawai area, which I have previously visted but I am now becoming really concerned about my personal safety if I make the move having read some recent posts.

    Just how safe is it providing I take reasonable precautions also I don't fancy having my little cocker spaniel who is coming with me poisoned

    Any thoughts

    Don't take this forum too seriously. It's a bit like the news on the telly. Gets a bit sensationalist and heated and only shows you the bad bits in a very condensed form, really. You and your dog will be perfectly safe here. :o

  12. I understand why people get so irritated by those who let their dogs run around in packs with no consideration and consequently no control from the respective owners. However. It absolutely stuns me to see so many farang here condoning the despicable, wanton act of actually preparing poisoned food, and giving it to someone's pet!

    Something here you are not understanding. Those are wild dogs that were released or are the offspring of "Soi" dogs.

    It is sad that our hosts can't bring themselves to organize animal control. I am not in favor of wild dogs roaming around. Add into the mix that the Buddhists think they gain "merit" by feeding them.

    That is despicable.

    Animal control should treat the dogs with respect. Maybe they need to hire Muslim vets to euthanize them (assuming they were ever rounded up in the first place).

    The takeaway here is keep your dogs under control. Either in the yard or on a leash.

    No there's something YOU aren't understanding. If you take the trouble to read my post properly, none of these dogs were 'wild', they were all pets. And what is this with poisoning dogs here anyway? They're not roaming around in 'packs' as you put it. Certainly nothing like when I was here over fifteen years ago. And then all they did was bark and bugger off when you made to lift a stone! Are you just off the boat? And what's this with 'muslim vets'. Oh. So they're ragheads and can despatch someone's pet without having to worry about 'merit'. Idiot!

  13. Two of the dogs were the pets of some Thais who are distraught and blaming an American neighbour. Another was a pet of one of our Thai neighbours, the dog, although noisy, no more so than many of the other dogs in my particular soi when someone passes, and was always kept on a leash.

    I understand why people get so irritated by those who let their dogs run around in packs with no consideration and consequently no control from the respective owners. However. It absolutely stuns me to see so many farang here condoning the despicable, wanton act of actually preparing poisoned food, and giving it to someone's bloody pet! :o

  14. There is not one vet in Thailand that will put an animal down. Been there done that. Pathetic.

    Which is why they take their unwanted animals to the nearest Wat & dump them.

    This is not true. My vet here on Phuket had to put down a cat I had with advanced feline leukemia.

    The reason why people here take their unwanted animals to the nearest Wat and dump them, is that they want to abrogate responsibility. It's a national trait.

  15. Wow i am amazed what you ladies go thru,i couldnt live up country for a second.Hats off to you all for living the simple life and entering a totaly different culture to what you were used to.

    I chokdee your strenght.

    Yayyyyy. Rue 'found' when she was a senior member! yayyy. And Poshthai's a patronising sod. yayyyyyyyy.

  16. Anyone know any classes here? Please don't include the poncy overpriced spas/resorts and that mad Canadian woman in Rawai. Thanks.

  17. My own views on tipping: :D

    First off, everything's getting more and more expensive and so I want more, not less, for my hard-earned wad. I don't owe you a living as much as you owe me one, Somchai or Nok, and I hope that's very clear from the start. If you can see the name, Santa Claus, on my passport, i will concur that you may have a point. :D

    If I go out for a meal, I want good service and grub as the norm. I refuse to tip for pig's swill and bad service, but will tip well for what I went out for and that is the combination of the good food/service experience. Nobody should accept anything less. :(

    This goes for both Thai or Farang owned places. If some fat, bald & tattooed clown (I mean very handsome man) who's been DisneyLand for too long thinks he can pull this kinda malarkey, can think again. :o

    Don't get me started on the 'Service Charge' scam. :D

    Good recommendations can help avoid the above; all ya gotta do is ask around.

    "Aye, pass me a bit more of that gravey for me chips, there's a good lass..eeeee…food of the God's, so it is.." :D

    :D

  18. This is easy, if the particular establishment is family run, ie small Thai restaurants, and the family are all working together, then the family, altogether, will be sharing the profits of said establishment. No need to tip. Unless you can be pretty sure they've taken on a khon chai or two (someone who works just for the bowl of rice and a space out back to sleep and shelter from the rain, perhaps not so easy, but you can usually tell the sort - too old/young/Burmese, usually male and obviously very very skint).

    If however, you wish to recompense the many waiting staff/bellhops etc working for a pittance for some tightarsed meanspirited 'don't give a stuff just give us the money' outfit, indeed, if you feel so strongly that such outfit should not have to dig into their enormous profits any more than they have to to pay their staff a decent wage, by all means, tip. If not, and I know this is bordering on the Utopian, don't tip, and wait for said staff to start demanding a decent day's wage for a day's work. Same same Australia, New Zealand and Canada. (Not the US, they've a lot of catching up to do too). We can dream.

  19. It's still mind boggling as how far people are willing to do for the money, and

    If only the farangs can learn from each other mistakes, then nothing likes this would happen or less likely.

    But what is there to learn Teacup, and how?

    By not trusting Thai woman, or not buying land or a house in her name ?? Not marrying a Thai woman?

    It is not the first time this has happened and all starts out as a normal relationship until the true nature of the beast comes forward.

    Should we now look upon Thai woman as all being the same? You want us to learn that? I am sure you donot.

    You know the answer already, it's in Life 101

    Learn how to use your common sense and don't ever put all your eggs in the one basket.

    How difficult can it be?

    Unless your think that having or using common sense is not so common after all.

    And I don't really like for what just happened to him, but the reality is........It also takes two to tango, don't you think so?

    I can't imagine you would blame the victim of a homicide for his own demise, would you teacup?

    You are a better and smarter person than that.

    What ever his particular "dance" happened to be, we are only speculating now, would it justify his murder?

    Well said Carib. It's something we would rather not contemplate I think.

    My heart goes out to the victims family.

    ~WISteve

    You should be happy Teacup has said 'two' to tango. She usually lays the blame for everything and anything bad the Thais do squarely on the shoulders of the farang.

  20. Pubs. Pubs with Guinness. Pubs without bargirls and the dross that goes with them. Pubs. Pubs where you could have the craic. Pubs. Pubs with live music played by people under fifty. Pubs with comfy chairs and barstools and not hastily slung up bamboo shacks with a tinny music system blaring out boom boom boom I want you in my room. Pubs. Pubs. PUBS.

  21. I think as a whole, the female members of this website are really friendly and helpful when they can be.

    Plus tend to give some really good, non condensending advice.

    This "might" be the wrong section to post the question, but there is nothing patronising about it.

    Well then patronising is in the eye of the beholder and I feel downright patronised if I am expected to know what to do with someone's baby, just because I'm a woman. :o I also wasn't aware the Family forum was male dominated. Don't you little ladies post there about your hubbies and babies sometimes too?

    Perhaps this should be renamed the 'Women and Children' Forum then.

  22. It would appear that I'm to be a dad soon. No congratulations please, all I did was pull a funny face a few weeks ago :D .

    Anyhow, the enormity of the situation is sinking in and exactly how little I know has hit home. As far as I know babies don't require spanners or an oil change and that is as much as I know.

    My other half is going to see a doctor tomorrow and.....well!....that's all I know. What will happen there? I have seen ultra sound scans, but that must be weeks away yet.

    Back home I think women go for check ups and such like, what about here in Thailand?

    Do you have to register the baby somewhere?

    Is it better to give the baby a Thai name of something people can say?

    Any advice would be welcome.

    Thanks in advance.

    Why is this posted in the 'Ladies' forum? Is it that all er Ladies here are assumed to have given birth? There is a 'Family' section you know. How patronising. :o

  23. Thailand is looked upon as brothel number one in the world, I think maybe that is what the OP is talking about.

    It is sad, really sad.

    Yes it is unfortunate.

    Blame it on the biased shallowed global media and the “certain” visiting foreigners for making it appears that the whole country is doing a BOOM BOOM behind every bushes.

    It’s not the amount of prostitution in thailand, but the real problem is that certain few farangs give Thai women in general a very bad name.

    One major factor is because of “the exchange rate“, this makes therefore any low life scum sex tourists with colorful behaviors and boasting features can afford the comparatively cheap prostitution that they might not otherwise be able to purchase these services in their countries. It is quite common and not so difficult to see these cetain type farangs “showing off” their catch walking down the street together hand-in-hand. Most thais are very discreet, and the practices are very muted compared to what westerners do. Thai men would never be seen in public with a prostitute, and if he were to be seen with one, he would have a major loss of face. It is of “these certain groups” of the foreigners who go to Thailand and practically abuse the sensitivity of this part of the thai culture, and the global media happened to pick up on this or happened to be talking to those certain type of foriegners. So it is too much hyped up by these guys.

    Also I can understand why the western media seem to justify and look down on Thai women, because I assume that they have only visited the famous places like: Pattaya, Patong, Patpong, or Hat Yai - mostly.

    As far as changing it, that will take a very long time, because also the economy benefits from it.

    But as the standard of living for the thais increases on par with the Western World, may be the problem will slowly disappear.

    And it is also quite unfortunate reality that just only a very small percentage of thai women with high education is noticed.

    Are you freaking serious?!!! Where else in the world does a family go on holiday to be faced with 'hello I lub you were you flom' down every dam_n street in the tourist/supposedly family oriented MAJOR roads - not tucked discreetly down some alleyway - every time they venture out with their wives and children for an evening stroll? Here on Phuket it's a downright embarrassment and I truly think you have NO shame. :o

×
×
  • Create New...