Isan Wanderer

Yes I would like to stay with her if she stops lying to me. I still love her despite all this BS. Thank you for the perspective, I need to sleep it over now. It's been an exhausting day... Thank you to anyone who's helped me navigate it. Appreciate you all.

Well those few years living here taught me that money talks in Thailand. This place is corrupt af at least compared to Western standards. Nobody cares whether my name is on the chanod as long as I can afford a more expensive lawyer than her. Spending 200k on a lawyer to save 1 million worth of property seems like a rational decision. I realize this is pretty <deleted> up and I truly hope I won't have to resort to that but I'm just planning exit strategies here...

I know her family members very well. Her grandmother has cancer and I visit her to the hospital regularly. I visit her nephews every week. I believe I'm well respected by her family.

That's it riclag! You understand me. I need to know even if all outcomes are bad. This is driving crazy. I haven't been able to focus on work at all today.

Yes that would be ideal but then how would I know if she tells me the truth or just another lie... Regarding the land, I'm aware I have pretty much no rights to it but this is Thailand and I can afford a much more expensive lawyer than she can if it really comes down to that...

Well she spends most of it to buy market food for me and her family so that's fine by me because I don't like to go to markets... even though the food is delicious.

No way I'm giving up on nearly 1 million baht investment and an even bigger emotional attachment to this home just on a hunch. This is my first ever home and if I have to spend big bucks on a lawyer to keep it, I will certainly do it.

BTW I forgot to mention that we spend 99% of our time together (I work from home) and she never locks her phone. I'm pretty sure I would know if she had been messing with other guys.

I know, people really hate to lose face over here! But other choice do I have to find out what's she's been up to?

It really hurts to hear that but I think you're right... Though the only thing I'm sure about right now is she's been lying. I really need to drive up to that village and confront her next time she's there. Feels like it's the only way to plan the next step of our relationship...

Thank you guys. We're both in our thirties and get regular bedroom action so I really doubt she's cheating on me but you never know I guess. She might be gambling or it might be something else that I can't think about right now. Ending our relationship isn't gonna be easy because we spent the last 2 years building our dream home here in the rice fields. This morning we were even talking with the neighbor about buying their land to expand our property. She loves her little garden here and so do I. It's a nice place. We truly love it here. If we split up, we will both lose it. I bought the land for 500k two years ago and spent an extra 200-300k on home improvements. We've printed the usufruct but have yet to get it stamped at the Land Office. So the "chanod" (red bird document) is only under her name for now... I don't want to lose it all just on some assumptions that might be wrong.

I've been living with my gf in Isan for 2.5 years and met her 5 years ago. Lately she's been having a lot of mood swings and been arguing with me over minor things. Today I got confirmation that she's been lying to me about her whereabouts. I started to have doubts as she didn't pick up the phone a few times over the last weeks and told me hard-to-believe stories like "I got a flat tire but there was no nail". Then why didn't she call me while she was waiting for it to get it topped up for 2 long hours?? So I decided to check her Google Maps timeline history and sure enough there was no flat tire, she was actually in some remote village that I have never been to. She was there for many hours several times over the last few weeks. So now I'm thinking either she's cheating on me (unlikely, at least I really hope not) or she's been gambling at card games ("casino" like they call it over here). She used to play that casino game early in our relationship and lost huge amounts of money. I managed to make her quit that addiction and now I'm worried she might have been playing again... She started gambling on her phone lately but it's been like 200-400 bahts a day which isn't too bad. I give her 20k baht a month no strings attached but I really don't want my hard earned money to go to waste like that. Anyway, I need to stay cold headed about this because she doesn't know I know she's been lying. I wouldn't be mad if she's been gambling, I just want her to be honest with me, I just don't want her to lie to me so openly. My trust in her is pretty much shattered at this point. I'm tempted to drive up to that remote village next time her phone pings there to find out what she's been up to but this might end up badly... I'm looking for advice here, I don't want our relationship to end like that after 5 years together

Seems overkill and unnecessary expense if the process is straightforward.

Looks very good! Thank you so much. So presumably we just need to fill that in then deposit it to the Land Office, pay some fee to get it on their records, and that's it?

Thank you ????