Hello,
Brand newbie here. I wanted to get some advice from you gurus. This will be kind of long but, if you've got the time, I could use the help.
I visited Phuket in February for 2 weeks. I was supposed to meet a Filipina there but, that didn't work out (long story but I knew if that happened, I'd still have fun.)
So, single and ready to mingle. My mingling skills have certainly gotten rusty over the years. But, when I discovered I was going to be solo, I decided to join onto some dating sites. Got several nibbles right away. Finally worked through the Covid guantlet and got to my hotel on Patong Beach, a stone's throw away from Bangla. I walked to Burger King and got a delicious (but ridiculously expensive) mushroom burger and some fries (I'm such a farang). Decided I'd watch a little TV and unwind and hit Bangla later on. Woke up the next morning, bummed but rested. So much for night 1.
Around midday, I got a message on Tinder from a local girl looking for fun. We talked back and forth for a while and then decided she would come to my room and get to know each other better. Welp, she showed up and the hotel insisted on a negative Covid test before they'd let her in. So, we walked around looking for an instant test. Finally found one and she tested negative. Off to the room...
It took her less than 5 minutes before she was naked. Amazing body for her age (44). I certainly didn't want to be left out, so I also stripped. We enjoyed each other's company for a while and when we had finished, The topic of seeing each other again came up. I was open to a standard GFE and all that came with it, although I didn't request that. So, she agreed to come back the next afternoon.
She came back the next day. We had dinner and walked along Bangla. More gymnastics in the hotel room followed. She stayed overnight. She woke up early and said that she needed to go back to her room to water her plants. I should mention that she had made it clear that she expected a 2000 baht "tip" each day she spent with me. I was OK with that. So, she collected her second "tip" and left. She also made it clear that our relationship was "No money, No honey."
We spent the next 2 weeks sort of getting to know each other better. I say sort of because she didn't ask much about my life here in the US and I was afraid to ask her too much about her life. Some things are better left unknown. (She did carry 2 phones but I'm sure that's not a red flag) At the end of the 2 weeks, she arranged a ride with one of her friends to get me back to the airport. We said our goodbyes and agreed to try and make it work long distance until I could get back. It was also made clear that I would need to "help her out" with some of her living expenses (turns out "some" became "all").
I'm no pauper but, I'm not well to do either. But, I've been sending her around 18-19K baht each month. And we've stayed exclusive and say we're bf and gf. I have no idea what she does with her time when we're not chatting or doing video. Again, really don't want to know at this point. But, she claims she's remained exclusive and I've never seen any evidence to make me think otherwise.
I've booked another trip to Phuket in September. She's all excited and keeps talking about how she can't wait to eat "falong food" and go shopping. Great, that'll eat up another $1000 or so. She goes to great lengths to tell me that she's not with me for the money. That's usually followed up by a request for more money.
The sex was fantastic, among the best I've ever had. No problem there. But... I'm sort of starting to lose interest in the relationship. She finally picked up on it yesterday and commented how she's always the first one to text or video call. Her concerns magically melted away when the topic of money came up. Suddenly, she was my gf again and I was the best bf ever. In her mind, she's decided that we'll stay together, with me continuing to bankroll her living expenses, until I can get her over to the US, probably on a K1 visa.
I feel like I'm in so deep now that ending it would be a mess. She won't want the gravy train to stop rolling and she claims that she really cares for me. (The L word has been tossed around, much more by her than me) I've told people here that are aware of my trip in September I'll either come back engaged or single. My gut says most likely the latter. A part of me thinks that I should stick it out and make it work. Another part of me says that I should ghost her and start fresh in September. Still another part says that ghosting is a horrible, although extremely effective, way to end a relationship and that I should end it in person if I still feel the same way when I come back in September.
So, heres' where the sage advice from Thai gf veterans comes in. I'm doubtful that my enthusiasm for our relationship will return, but it might (who knows?). Is our financial arrangement unusual or unreasonable? Should I be concerned that I'm not her only financial contributor? What would happen if I told her I wanted to end it via video chat? What would happen if I ghosted her? If I end it, should I be concerned that she'll round up some male friends and come looking for me in September? How do I handle her cries of poverty if I turn the money spigot off? It's really eating away at me and I'm not good at pretending everything is great when we video chat. So, any advice from experienced Thai gf wranglers would be greatly appreciated. Don't hesitate to ask me if I need to elaborate on anything.
Thanks a lot. Us boys got to stick together.
