ASEANTraveler

I am curious about this Thailand dynamic of “if you don’t get married before 25, then you are out.” I don’t know much about this…. Are you saying that basically a Thai man will not marry a “left-over” woman in her late 20s-30s. What about a divorced woman? What is their status here? Are the never married Thai men over 25 “out too” (for their gender)? Ultimately, seems to me you have a very large group of men all pursuing a very small group of women 18-25., for which there clearly cannot be enough supply to meet the demand.

Frankly, I am surprised this post got so much traction. ???? And if the replies keep coming, all the better! But here at the 48 hour mark or so, I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone for all the replies (even those of you who ridiculed me a bit). I read all the comments, picking little morsels of knowledge and insight from each one. There’s a lot of collective wisdom here in terms of “man hours” lived and experiences logged in the “man/woman” logbook. And, of course, we all pretty much have — to one extent or another — struggled with the challenge of “thinking with the wrong head” from time to time in our lives. So, solidarity with all of you and thank you for the advice and feedback.

I will plead guilty to your one charge that “woman might also have been up for it.” Even the “good girls” seem to have desires and wants. I forget that sometimes

The “gentleman” in me kind of feels like a jerk if I don’t respond, but that’s more a problem for me than for them. I agree with you…one or two dates is not a marriage and they probably don’t give it a second thought (even if I do)

Truthfully I do like dinner dates. ???? Look: I’m no angel — especially in my younger days. There have been plenty of “let’s have dinner” dates that were just a formality for the main event. She knew it and I knew it. But I am not 27 anymore. I know it almost seems foreign these days, but having a nice meal with a woman (good food, nice ambiance) can itself be a wonderful experience — just living in the moment, being in the presence of the “feminine” form without expectations of sex, financial support, future relationships, etc.).

Some good points here for which I need to be more accountable for my own behavior

This maybe the most practical advice yet. Perhaps I need to just converse a bit more before asking out to dinner. Dinner to me is not a big deal — I eat out everyday anyway, usually alone — but “dinner” might have a committed, romantic connotation to some Thai women, I guess. The woman I met last night (which prompted me to write this post today) I met while waiting for the Songtaew. It was starting to rain, I ordered Grab, and knowing that our destinations were close, I had her join me for the ride. Dinner invite was fourthcoming from my lips within about 7-8 minutes. And when Grab let us off at the night market, that’s precisely what happened.

Just to be clear…as I said in my original post: “I want to handle the situation in a dignified manner that does not unnecessarily hurt anyone’s feelings.” It is not that I am annoyed with any of these women’s behavior. I am somewhat confused by them, but not angry or annoyed. Bottom line: I just don’t know how to communicate to these women that hey: “you are an attractive lady, I had a nice evening with you, and I would like to do it again to get to know you better and see if we are compatible. (But FYI — you are NOT a girlfriend)” That is the message I want them to hear, but (either because of cultural issues or I am saying it wrong), it does not seem to be what they are hearing.

You’re right. It is. I would be “open” to the idea of a potential relationship (down the road) with any of these woman. I would not have asked them out to dinner in the first place if I thought they were not “possibilities.” But the whole process of “dating” — effectively getting to know each other BEFORE commitment — is what I am struggling with here in Thailand. It’s like the “let’s see if we are compatible” phase is missing. Going out with a lady 5-8-10 times BEFORE you make her a girlfriend seems important to me. How does she react to different situations? What are her interests? How does she react and solve a small disagreement? Is she even tempered? Does she seem responsible with money? Do we have a shared sense of humor? And on and on….

No women in their 20s, TYVM! This dynamic about being “past their prime” in Thailand if they are mid 30s or whatever is a strange one to me. These women I meet are attractive ladies: slim, long healthy hair, no tattoos, nice smooth skin, eat right, don’t smoke/drink, dressed feminine and look great.

You know..I am “open” to the idea of a GF, but that takes time to develop organically. Same as in my country, I have to date/get to know a woman for 2-3 months before going down the road of “okay, I want to be more serious with this woman.” Here - seems second “date” and they think you are looking for something permanent.

A fair comment and appreciated. However, even if you “date” just one at a time, they still all “act/imply/nudge” toward girlfriend status after just one date.

So, the rules of the “dating” game are clearly different here in Thailand. I need some advice on how to handle a situation that keeps occurring to me. Here’s what is happening: Me: age 46, based in Thailand, not a bad looking guy, I come across as polite and a gentlemen (which is mostly accurate). I personally do not drink alcohol or go to bars, but I do meet a variety of Thai women when out and about. Examples include: An Accountant, age 36 Hair Salon Owner, age 42 Dental Assistant, age 37 Retail Worker At A Mall, Age 43 When I meet these women, if I have a nice little conversation with them, I always invite them to dinner. This is usually fairly quickly…often during our initial conversation or after a short second conversation. I enjoy the company of a woman for dinner and always happily pay for our meals. Dinner usually turns into a walk around the night market, a park, etc., some dessert, and more conversation into the evening. I have made it a point to avoid sexual relations with the these women. There has been some going back to my place and “snuggling”/“touching,” but no sex — so I am not using the women for sex. The dinner dates have been great: laughing, smiling, good conversation to the extent possible given the language barrier. I think the woman have enjoyed the evenings as much as I have. NOW comes the challenge. These women seem to get “very attached” after just one date. They say things like “will I see you tomorrow.” They text me on LINE, etc. I genuinely enjoy the dinner dates with each woman. I would like to continue to take them out to dinner. However, I definitely DO NOT consider them “girlfriends” right away as they seem to want, imply, and act. I want to handle the situation in a dignified manner that does not unnecessarily hurt anyone’s feeling. So, how do I handle this is Thailand?

I have no idea who this lady “Sheryl” is —just a picture of a cat — but I and a lot of other people are indebted to her for taking the time to provide a lot of good medical advice on this forum. Thank you, Sheryl for yet another helpful reply.

I see that this topic has already been discussed with some good replies by Sheryl. My home country physician prescribes for me a 2% diltiazem gel/cream for an intermittent rectal problem. In my country, the pharmacy basically takes the diltiazem USP powder and mixes it in a gel base or in white petroleum. They then put it in a little jar. It is not a complicated thing. I would like to get this medication in Bangkok. Is this type of thing what is meant by “compounding pharmacy” here? Is it unavailable in Bangkok?

I have some melasma on my forehead. This is basically small areas of blotchy hyperpigmentation (dark spots). The condition is more common in females, but I am male, fair skinned. Unfortunately, it has gotten worse with age and increased sun exposure here in Southeast Asia. It is time to get something done about it. The laser of choice for treatment (and the only one I want) is the PicoSure Laser. Can someone kindly recommend a good clinic with this machine? Quality of work and experience of the physician is much more important to me than cost. Bangkok would be the preferred area, but I can also travel to Chiang Mai if there is an excellent clinic there. Thank you in advance for recommendations.

Thank you to all who have replied. Appreciate the help.

Thank you to all for the replies. To scubascuba3, thanks for the specific mention of the person on Facebook. Appreciated, but no need right now, as my post was more about my own future planning than any immediate planned surgical needs. The theme of everyone’s replies was basically the same — ask around/tell people what you are looking for, etc. I’ll give it a whirl..

So, if I just depart on the 89th day, then I am not obligated to do the 90 day report? Is that right? That could just save me some time.

My apologies if my asking the question could be clearer. I am newish to this whole process. I have a long stay visa, so I am trying to understand generally my obligations regarding the 90 day report. I will be coming back to Thailand after visiting Malaysia. This is not just a “one visit to Thailand for 90 days and then leaving.” Therefore, is a person obligated to do a 90 day report at all if they leave on the 90th day itself?

So, for future instances (and not just this specific example), the 90 day report is NOT required if you depart on the 90th day. You only have to do it if you stay more than 90 days. Correct?

I apologize in advance for this question, which I am sure is very basic. However, I legitimately don’t know the answer and want to be sure I comply correctly with Immigration’s rules. I arrived to Suvarnabhumi airport on October 4, 2022. My passport stamp has that date on it. I will be departing Thailand for a trip to Malaysia on January 1, 2023 —departing on that day itself. By my counting on the calendar, that will be my 90th day in Thailand. So, do I have to do a 90 day report if I depart on the 90th day? Or, alternatively, do you only have to do it if you stay past midnight on the 90th day and are in Thailand on the 91st day?

There is nice lady on here named “Sheryl” who seems to have a lot of medical knowledge and helps many people with those topics. To Retiree’s point, yes, nail fungus is notoriously difficult to treat. Sheryl — in her previous posts — has done an excellent job of explaining why that is medically the case. But, among the biggest factors, is that the fungus lives under the toenail and penetration of medications through the nail is difficult. My dermatologist in the USA (dermatologists also treat nails in the USA) recommended to me the efinaconazole. She is actually a Vietnamese woman (well educated physician) and told me the efinaconazole is available generically in Hanoi. But…apparently not approved here. As such, the Loceryl could be worth a try. I hope Larry can tell us how often he applied the Loceryl and if it was “sticky.” One prescription product I tried previously in the USA was like a nail polish, but was so sticky. I used to wear black socks everyday (business clothes) before I retired and by the end of the day, my toenail would have this black sock “lint” on it. Terrible.

I am newish to Thailand on a long-stay visa. I am in generally good health. However, it is possible that in the future, I might have a small inguinal hernia repaired done here — in Bangkok. My question relates to someone to help me recover post-op. I have no adult children or family here. It is also highly unlikely that I would get married or have a girlfriend in Thailand. And finally (????), I tend to be an introverted person, so I likely would not have a circle of friends to help me. Therefore, if I need a short term stay-with-me helper for a week or two, is that possible here: 1) Do the hospitals have a list of paid helpers (I imagine Thai women), who they can set you up with to help you with bathing, toileting, wound care, etc.? 2) Approximate cost for these services?

Follow up for Larry: 1) Sounds like the Loceryl is worth a try. Like you, for me, the fungus affects solely the Great (big) toenail. 2) Definitely agree that many months of treatment are required — 12 or more for the nail to regrow 3) How frequently did you apply the Loceryl and when (bedtime, etc?) I only glanced at the box…it said something about 2x/week? Was it “sticky” on your nail once dry (as in annoyingly sticky grabbing at your sock and attracting lint from it, etc.)?