ASEANTraveler

23 hours ago, xtrnuno41 said:

In Thailand if you dont get married before 25, then you are out.

You have contact with older women facing that "problem".

 

I am curious about this Thailand dynamic of “if you don’t get married before 25, then you are out.” 

I don’t know much about this….

Are you saying that basically a Thai man will not marry a “left-over” woman in her late 20s-30s.  What about a divorced woman? What is their status here? Are the never married Thai men over 25 “out too” (for their gender)?

Ultimately, seems to me you have a very large group of men all pursuing a very small group of women 18-25., for which there clearly cannot be enough supply to meet the demand. 

Frankly, I am surprised this post got so much traction.  ????  And if the replies keep coming, all the better!  But here at the 48 hour mark or so, I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone for all the replies (even those of you who ridiculed me a bit).  I read all the comments, picking little morsels of knowledge and insight from each one.  There’s a lot of collective wisdom here in terms of “man hours” lived and experiences logged in the “man/woman” logbook.  And, of course, we all pretty much have — to one extent or another — struggled with the challenge of “thinking with the wrong head” from time to time in our lives.  So, solidarity with all of you and thank you for the advice and feedback.

1 hour ago, 4MyEgo said:

 

Why even bother, this is what any woman, if attracted to you would expect, i.e. dessert.

 

Sounds like you should if your not looking for a girlfriend.

 

I can't believe what I am reading, are you gay, it isn't called using the women for sex if your both up for it, that said, if a woman has accompanied you back to your place, it is more than likely that she is up for it.

 

What a let down for the girls !!!

 

Sounds to me that your living in a fantasy world, you should stop dating women, because all your doing is teasing them in my opinion.

 

What did you expect ?

I will plead guilty to your one charge that “woman might also have been up for it.”  Even the “good girls” seem to have desires and wants.  I forget that sometimes 

1 hour ago, JimTripper said:

Why do you feel you have to respond if they are irritating you?

 

Do you feel you owe them something after the dinner? If they are too pushy they are not for you, esp if you’re not looking for casual sex.
 

You just don’t respond if it bothers you. If your not interested there is no second date!

 

The western idea of explaining to all your dates why you do or do not wish to proceed so they “learn from the experience” does not apply here. Any interaction is seen as continued interest.

 

Once your gone they meet someone the next day and forget you altogether. One or two dates, not a big deal. People get over it.

The “gentleman” in me kind of feels like a jerk if I don’t respond, but that’s more a problem for me than for them.  I agree with you…one or two dates is not a marriage and they probably don’t give it a second thought (even if I do)

44 minutes ago, bignok said:

He likes dinner dates. 

Truthfully I do like dinner dates.  ????  Look:  I’m no angel — especially in my younger days.  There have been plenty of “let’s have dinner” dates that were just a formality for the main event.  She knew it and I knew it.  But I am not 27 anymore.  I know it almost seems foreign these days, but having a nice meal with a woman (good food, nice ambiance) can itself be a wonderful experience — just living in the moment, being in the presence of the “feminine” form without expectations of sex, financial support, future relationships, etc.). 

24 minutes ago, Shop mak said:

Mistake #1. You too fast. Start with exchange Line id, and chat when she get home after work.

After a week or two, meet near her work for some coffee or thai street food.

 

Did you make it crystal clear first time you talked that you seek:

Friends first.

Not relationship.

Not sex.

(Note to you: no touch of any kind)

 

Hold on, that's just too fast. Thai style is slowly. Friends first. Coffee first. A simple meal. Not restaurant dining.

 

Nice, but start as chat friends first.

 

But this confuse them. You contradict yourself here, as you might been close to 1st or 2nd base. Most women now think you want (sex) relationship.

 

Don't bring her home. Meet in public. 

When you're alone with her, and some kiss and touch here and there initiated - Heck, even I would want more.

 

Yes, she smile, nod and laugh, but language barrier is huge. You lucky if she understood 50-75% of what you said.

 

You cross the border for what friends can do. Don't touch, hug or kiss.

Meet in public only, not home to your or her place. Only if she bring a friend (chaperone).

 

You act / imply by your actions that you want something more.

 

Poor communication from the start, you might has mislead her then (and more by your kissy touchy ...) for her to think that

'maybe he want a girlfriend'.

 

You blur the border for friends vs what people in relationship can do. You create misunderstanding and hope. Don't blame the women. You created this by your actions.

 

 

Some good points here for which I need to be more accountable for my own behavior 

13 minutes ago, JayClay said:

No, asking if they'll see you tomorrow and sending some messages via Line is not obsessive behaviour. 

 

Unless there's more to what they're doing than you actually describe, I suggest your two options are either put up with it or stop dating.

Just to be clear…as I said in my original post: “I want to handle the situation in a dignified manner that does not unnecessarily hurt anyone’s feelings.”  It is not that I am annoyed with any of these women’s behavior.  I am somewhat confused by them, but not angry or annoyed.
 

Bottom line:  I just don’t know how to communicate to these women that hey: “you are an attractive lady, I had a nice evening with you, and I would like to do it again to get to know you better and see if we are compatible.  (But FYI — you are NOT a girlfriend)”

That is the message I want them to hear, but (either because of cultural issues or I am saying it wrong), it does not seem to be  what they are hearing.  

7 minutes ago, Berkshire said:

This happens to many of us.  But it's not about us being "special" or being the 2nd coming of Brad Pitt.  It's more about the women themselves.  "Very attached" is almost synonymous with being desperate.  These are all older women that you're dating.  They're past their prime and are ready to settle with almost anyone with means.  Are you looking for a GF or future wife?  If you're just dating for fun, I'd recommend a young hottie in her early twenties.  She won't get attached to you.

You know..I am “open” to the idea of a GF, but that takes time to develop organically.  Same as in my country, I have to date/get to know a woman for 2-3 months before going down the road of “okay, I want to be more serious with this woman.” Here - seems second “date” and they think you are looking for something permanent.  

2 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

Maybe don't date so many at the same time, date one, see if it goes anywhere, if not move to the next and repeat

A fair comment and appreciated.  However, even if you “date” just one at a time, they still all “act/imply/nudge” toward girlfriend status after just one date.

I see that this topic has already been discussed with some good replies by Sheryl.  My home country physician prescribes for me a 2% diltiazem gel/cream for an intermittent rectal problem.  In my country, the pharmacy basically takes the diltiazem USP powder and mixes it in a gel base or in white petroleum.  They then put it in a little jar.  It is not a complicated thing.  I would like to get this medication in Bangkok.  Is this type of thing what is meant by “compounding pharmacy” here?  Is it unavailable in Bangkok?

I have some melasma on my forehead.  This is basically small areas of blotchy hyperpigmentation (dark spots).  The condition is more common in females, but I am male, fair skinned.   Unfortunately, it has gotten worse with age and increased sun exposure here in Southeast Asia.  It is time to get something done about it.  
 

The laser of choice for treatment (and the only one I want) is the PicoSure Laser.  Can someone kindly recommend a good clinic with this machine? Quality of work and experience of the physician is much more important to me than cost.  Bangkok would be the preferred area, but I can also travel to Chiang Mai if there is an excellent clinic there.

Thank you in advance for recommendations.

Thank you to all who have replied.  Appreciate the help.

Thank you to all for the replies.  To scubascuba3, thanks for the specific mention of the person on Facebook. Appreciated, but no need right now, as my post was more about my own future planning than any immediate planned surgical needs.

The theme of everyone’s replies was basically the same — ask around/tell people what you are looking for, etc.  I’ll give it a whirl..

9 minutes ago, ubonjoe said:

You report will not be due again until 90 days from the day you enter the country.

 

Yes

I assume you have gotten a re-entry permit if you are on an extension of stay.

So, if I just depart on the 89th day, then I am not obligated to do the 90 day report?  Is that right?  That could just save me some time.

3 minutes ago, ubonjoe said:

A 90 day report is not past due until 7 days after the report date.

As I wrote immigration does not check for 90 day reports when leaving the country.

My apologies if my asking the question could be clearer.   I am newish to this whole process.

I have a long stay visa, so I am trying to understand generally my obligations regarding the 90 day report.  I will be coming back to Thailand after visiting Malaysia.  This is not just a “one visit to Thailand for 90 days and then leaving.”
 

Therefore, is a person obligated to do a 90 day report at all if they leave on the 90th day itself?

1 minute ago, ubonjoe said:

You will not need to do a 90 day report. Also airport immigration does not check for them being done.

So, for future instances (and not just this specific example), the 90 day report is NOT required if you depart on the 90th day.  You only have to do it if you stay more than 90 days.

Correct?

I apologize in advance for this question, which I am sure is very basic.  However, I legitimately don’t know the answer and want to be sure I comply correctly with Immigration’s rules.

I arrived to Suvarnabhumi airport on October 4, 2022.  My passport stamp has that date on it.  I will be departing Thailand for a trip to Malaysia on January 1, 2023 —departing on that day itself.  By my counting on the calendar, that will be my 90th day in Thailand.

So, do I have to do a 90 day report if I depart on the 90th day?  Or, alternatively, do you only have to do it if you stay past midnight on the 90th day and are in Thailand on the 91st day?

There is nice lady on here named “Sheryl” who seems to have a lot of medical knowledge and helps many people with those topics.  To Retiree’s point, yes, nail fungus is notoriously difficult to treat.  Sheryl — in her previous posts — has done an excellent job of explaining why that is medically the case.  But, among the biggest factors, is that the fungus lives under the toenail and penetration of medications through the nail is difficult.  My dermatologist in the USA (dermatologists also treat nails in the USA) recommended to me the efinaconazole.  She is actually a Vietnamese woman (well educated physician) and told me the efinaconazole is available generically in Hanoi.  But…apparently not approved here.

As such, the Loceryl could be worth a try.  I hope Larry can tell us how often he applied the Loceryl and if it was “sticky.” One prescription product I tried previously in the USA was like a nail polish, but was so sticky.  I used to wear black socks everyday (business clothes) before I retired and by the end of the day, my toenail would have this black sock “lint” on it.  Terrible.

I am newish to Thailand on a long-stay visa.  I am in generally good health.  
 

However, it is possible that in the future, I might have a small inguinal hernia repaired done here — in Bangkok.

My question relates to someone to help me recover post-op.  I have no adult children or family here.  It is also highly unlikely that I would get married or have a girlfriend in Thailand.  And finally (????), I tend to be an introverted person, so I likely would not have a circle of friends to help me.  
 

Therefore, if I need a short term stay-with-me helper for a week or two, is that possible here:

1) Do the hospitals have a list of paid helpers (I imagine Thai women), who they can set you up with to help you with bathing, toileting, wound care, etc.?

2) Approximate cost for these services?

12 hours ago, Lorry said:

Loceryl contains amorolfine. It's the standard lacquer in Germany and in Taiwan.

I used generic amorolfine lacquer  and I also used Loceryl lacquer, for fungus of the big toe nail.

It worked. Took a long time, though, many months.

Unfortunately, I am not familiar with the two American lacquers you mention, so I cannot compare them. 

Follow up for Larry:

1) Sounds like the Loceryl is worth a try.  Like you, for me, the fungus

affects solely the Great (big) toenail.

2) Definitely agree that many months of treatment are required — 12 or more for the nail to regrow

3) How frequently did you apply the Loceryl and when (bedtime, etc?)  I only glanced at the box…it said something about 2x/week?  Was it “sticky” on your nail once dry (as in annoyingly sticky grabbing at your sock and attracting lint from it, etc.)?