cavallerio

I know I shouldn't react, but <deleted> it. Learned a lot from the responses on this thread, mostly about what I don't want to be, and if I ever end up as bitter and cynical as some of you guys, I hope there is someone around to put me out of my misery. Time to call it a day.

I get the point, and I appreciate the point. Nothing is going to happen quickly so I'll see how things develop. Realistically I wouldn't expect to be prioritised over her kids, and I'd be wary of anyone that said they would do this, or actually did it. Anyway, thanks to everyone for all the input. I'll try to post updates as things progress.

Being played is always a possibility. All I can say is I have no cause to suspect that is the agenda, but I'm not going to pretend I would see it coming if it was. What I don't want is to be sat here in 5 years time regretting what might have been. I've already been there. Worst case I'll lose some money I can easily afford, best case I get to spend the rest of my life with a wonderful woman. I don't get referring to kids as 'baggage'? They're great kids, and a credit to their mum, and I'm more than happy to support them. I wouldn't want to be with a woman who didn't put her kids first I suppose at the end of the day we're all a product of our experiences, and maybe I'll be back here in a few years making sick buffalo jokes. Either way, I don't want to regret what might have been 🙂

Just got home yesterday. Really good visit, we get on way better in person than online. Learned a lot about Thai/ Isaan culture, some of which made my jaw drop, and got to see some bits of Bangkok maybe tourists wouldn't normally get to. We're planning to meet again later in the year, in the UK if we can get a visa to include the kids, Thailand again if not. I'm well aware that I'll be expected to foot the bill for this stuff, and to be fair she's never sugar coated that. Having spent a week together I think I'm getting the best of the deal whatever 🙂 A few random thoughts after my first visit to Thailand/Bangkok: 1. The heat and humidity....and this is the winter?? 2. Cruising down the Chao Praya river at night, and watching the fireworks...just magical 3. Weaving through rush hour traffic on a motorcycle taxi - petrified 4. Thai massage...already looking for a place near my home 5. How nice and helpful everyone was, everywhere 6. The food. I don't think I had a bad meal once, although a somtam dish with a crab in it was whipped away from me, as it would 'make sick'

Always happy to entertain. It's a shame you weren't able to share your wisdom on the topic, I'm sure it would be immeasurably helpful. Thanks again to everyone that left constructive comments, really helpful to hear the different viewpoints. I'll post an update when I get back.

Heh...must be the modern version, it used to be Rosie Palm and her five daughters

Register on AdultWork and take your pick

Me too... congratulations on getting through it. The black dog is tough to beat 👍

It's a bit both, I'm not ready to hang the pecker up for good just yet...but I am looking for a proper relationship, if I was just looking to get my end away there are cheaper and easier ways than flying to Thailand - thanks for your input mate, it is appreciated

She's a single mum raising two kids on a low wage, I'm a single guy with no commitments, earning a decent wage, house paid for, money in the bank, final salary pension...I don't expect reciprocity. If I can help out a little, I'm ok with that. It's not going to bankrupt me, and no plans to transfer assets from the UK anytime soon

Side effect of medication...happy to sacrifice some libido to keep my heart in good shape 🙂

Apologies if this point has already been made, but there are a lot of young people out there struggling to come to terms with their sexuality and gender. It helps to see gay and trans people portrayed in normal situations so they can see it's a viable lifestyle choice. If I'm being honest I feel uncomfortable watching movies and TV shows with men kissing, probably like a lot of men of my generation, but that's down to the time and place of my upbringing.

Just to add, the Tinder pickings in the UK were diabolical... overweight, tattooed, bad plastic surgery, photos filtered to high heaven...not claiming to be an oil painting myself, but boy was it depressing.

The different viewpoints are interesting. For me, it's like I'm listening to two voices, one saying pull away before I get in too deep, and the other saying I don't want to be sitting here in 5 years time regretting the road not taken. The second voice is winning at the moment...I guess it helps that losing a few grand isn't going to make a massive difference to my situation if it comes to that. I'm really not someone who's going to enjoy dating multiple women - no judgement against those that do, it just isn't me. I was contacted by loads of Thai women on Tinder, probably because I got my settings wrong. Most were obvious crypto scammers, some seemed genuine, but this was the only one that actually showed a genuine interest in me and my life. I realise that could mean she's clever and playing the long game, but I don't want to mess things up by being too cautious. I have sent relatively small amounts of money for Christmas and birthday presents so far (about 14K baht in total) but she's never actually asked or even hinted for any yet. Again, thanks for the replies, all of them...good to have a spread of opinions to ponder.

That's my thinking....I've visited quite a few countries over the years, and I guess I'd summarise my experience as people are people, wherever you are. Most are good, some exceptionally so, with a minority of pricks. I get that cultural differences matter and money matters a lot more in countries without social security and state funded healthcare. Trust but verify.

That's a good point...it's a way down the road for me yet, but I'd certainly think long and hard before cutting ties with the UK. Financially I should be ok to keep my house here and travel back and forth reasonably frequently, but definitely something to bear in mind.

Not sure how to quote posts, just to explain I'm in the UK, posted before bedtime last night and reading responses now, hence the delay.

Lots of responses, many thanks. To be clear I've been lurking here for a while just to learn, but registered yesterday to post my question. I didn't want to put too much detail in my original post to avoid any risk of identifying her. If I'm honest my doubts stem more from my own insecurities than anything she has said and done. The kids are great from whaI have seen, doing well at school and I have regular calls with one so she can practice her English. Way more hard working and motivated than I was at their age! She's not said anything about moving to Europe, she's pretty focussed on developing her career in Thailand with a view to giving her kids a good start in life. I get that if I shop around I could probably find someone younger, but TBH at my age and state of health 'boom boom' isn't the driver it once was...more looking for someone I respect, trust and can settle down with. Anyway, thank you for the detailed and considered replies, a lot to think over. I should have a better idea after we have met, and experienced Thailand for myself. Worst case scenario I have an interesting holiday 🙂

Hi chaps. Be grateful for your thoughts on my situation. I live in the UK, never visited Thailand. Met a Thai lady on Tinder. She's a single mom lives in Bangkok with two kids, works for a government ministry. Originally from Isaan. We've been video chatting for a three months now, and Ive booked a trip to Bangkok later this month to meet. I'm 53, she's 38... would be way out of my league in the UK. She speaks good English and is quite open that she's looking for a European partner, and dated a few European guys in the past, has a lot of friends married to European guys. She ticks a lot of boxes for me, she's smart hard-working and straightforward. I understand that a big part of her attraction to me is financial, as she's wanting a good education for her kids, and up to a point I'm okay with that. I'm probably about 5 years away from retirement here, and wouldn't be averse to moving somewhere warmer permanently. Got no real ties here, divorced and kids grown up. I guess I am just a little bit wary about being played. I'd be interested to hear from anybody who has been in a similar situation, any red flags to look out for, other advice, thoughts, etc?