SoCal1990

When it comes to bedroom dynamics, I’ve always been curious about what most of the others prefer in the land of smiles. On one side, you have the “freak,” the woman who goes all out in bed, takes charge, tries everything, has no limits, is not shy about what she likes, is fully there for it, and is eager to blow your mind. On the other side, you’ve got the “starfish,” the type who seems much less into it, maybe isn’t all that enthralled with sex to begin with, doesn’t put in much effort but is easygoing, lets you take full control, and essentially becomes a blank canvas for whatever you want to do. The freak is the type who’s up for anything. She’s creative, curious, enthusiastic, and puts effort into making every encounter memorable. There’s never a dull moment, and she might even surprise you with ideas you hadn’t thought of before. A freak keeps things exciting, but sometimes her strong personality or desire to take the lead can overshadow what you want in that moment. If you like being in charge, this dynamic might feel like too much of a give-and-take when all you really want is to let loose, dominate and do things your way. On the flip side, the starfish is laid-back, passive, and tolerates just about anything you want to do. She doesn’t take control or make any moves herself, which can feel freeing if you enjoy being completely in charge. There’s a certain appeal to that feeling of submission where she just lies there, as it lets you explore your fantasies without interruption or pushback. Sometimes the freak moves around too much, taking things in directions you weren’t expecting, which can make it harder for you to focus on what you want to get what you need out of the experience. With the starfish, you can take your time and do exactly what you need to feel fulfilled. That said, the starfish dynamic has its downsides too. If you’re looking for mutual effort or someone who’s as excited and involved as you are, the starfish might feel underwhelming. She may do little to actively please you, so if you want someone to take charge now and then or simply “service” you while you relax, this might not scratch that itch either. Personally, I’ve found myself leaning toward a mix of both. I’m lucky enough to have easy access to each type in Thailand, where there’s no shortage of variety, and sometimes my mood dictates my preference. There are days when I’m in the mood for a wild ride with a freak who keeps things electric and unpredictable and that's who I call on. Other times, I want the starfish experience, where I can fully take control and focus on fulfilling my own fantasies without worrying about matching energy levels or accommodating her pace or desires and I have access to that too. Ultimately, it seems to boil down to the kind of experience you’re looking for in the moment. Do you prefer the energy, variety, and participation of a freak? Or is the blank-slate, rag-doll approach of a starfish more your style, one that lets you fully take the reins and shape the experience exactly how you want it?

The Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson boxing match left us a lot to unpack, but not in the way anyone hoped. While Jake Paul technically won by decision as we know, the fight was far from the spectacle either fighter, or the audience, had been expecting. It was clear when Tyson walked in the ring from the first moment that he wasn’t at 100%. Reports now confirm he was dealing with a bad knee, so he was basically fighting with only one good leg, though this wasn’t public knowledge beforehand. Still, most people assumed Tyson’s legendary experience and power would outweigh his age and condition when watching him go into the first round. That turned out to be a mistake though. Tyson landed a few solid hits, but Jake Paul absorbed them without going down. This immediately raised an uncomfortable question: Does Tyson still really have the power that everyone thought he had and what once defined his career? On the other hand, Jake Paul didn’t exactly shine either. He didn’t hit hard or dominate Tyson in a way that would cement him as a serious contender in the boxing world. Instead, it was a fight where Jake had to hold back as Tyson visibly struggled. Some spectators even claim Jake could’ve knocked Tyson out in the later rounds but chose not to, out of pity or respect for Tyson’s condition. For Jake, this was supposed to be a career-defining moment, a chance to prove he could hang with the best fighter of all time. But the fight didn’t deliver on that promise. It wasn’t competitive, there were no memorable highlights, and it left fans questioning the purpose of the whole event. Instead of solidifying himself as a world-class boxer, Jake walks away with little more than a technical win over an aging, injured Tyson. As for Tyson, it’s hard not to feel for him. He gave it his best shot, but it simply wasn’t enough. Getting beaten by Jake Paul, who is widely considered a mediocre fighter at best, has to sting. Still, Tyson’s family might be counting the silver lining: he made $20 million and avoided serious injury. In the end, the fight felt like a lose-lose situation. Jake’s ambitions to prove himself fell flat, and Tyson didn’t get the chance to perform at the level fans hoped for. For the audience, it was a disappointment, a fight with no real stakes, no real excitement, and no satisfying conclusion. All either of them got out of it was a pocket full of money, which may be good enough for both of them, but no fame or admiration was captured on either side. What are your thoughts? Just a lot of hype and a big waste of time all around or do you think it actually gave us something more?

Thank you for all the comments and feedback. After reflecting on everything, I think I may be overdoing it, or doing it too often. I don't have issues with arousal or erections. I'm into it, I look forward to it, and I have access to partners who interest me sexually. Mechanically, everything works fine, and I ejaculate normally when I do finally orgasm. However, I suspect l've become a bit desensitized. I plan to try to cut back on the frequency to see if that helps me orgasm more consistently during sex. It won't be easy since I'm used to doing it daily, but I'll see if I can reduce it to once every 2-3 days and see if that makes a difference. Part of the driving force for frequency may be the fact that I naturally have exceedingly high testosterone levels. The last testosterone test I did last December showed that my testosterone was over 1,100 ng/dL. But I think high testosterone only contributes to desire/need and not necessarily performance.

After nearly 30 years of unbound adventure in Asia, I’ve hit an unexpected wall in the bedroom. In short, I’m finding it harder and harder to reach climax. I still enjoy sex as much as before, maybe even more now, thanks to a more adult mind that lets me appreciate the experience in a freer, more open way, with no shyness. The excitement is definitely still there too and I’m more in tune with what I like. But actually crossing that finish line? Not so much. Looking back, I think about the sheer number of partners, easily into the hundreds by now if you assume even just one new one a month for decades. The variety has been unreal: women of different ages, backgrounds, and countries. And there’s been no shortage of intensity, some were absolute “freaks” in the sack, checking every box imaginable. The thrill of constant novelty, combined with the allure of fulfilling all kinds of fantasies, always kept things fresh and memorable. But now, it feels like that constant stimulation has trained my mind and body to expect... more even when I’m fully into the moment. It’s not that I don’t still have the same interest in sex, I do, but actually reaching that peak? My brain feels desensitized, wired to a high bar I didn’t even realize I’d set. I’ve heard it compared to a kind of tolerance, like any intense experience you repeat over the years. The thrill wears off, even though it still feels thrilling, and then you need more to feel the same satisfaction. My body, in a way, has been “trained” by years of high-stimulation routines it seems. Now, in simpler moments, it’s harder to reach that point where things pop off. Those quieter, more ordinary (but still passionate) encounters? They just don’t trigger me the way they used to either. Physically, I’m still in decent shape. I can get my heart rate up to 175 bpm without much trouble, so it’s not a physical limitation. But I do wonder if I’ve built a mental wall over time that’s tough to break through. The issue isn’t arousal either; I stay excited, functional, and can keep things going for a couple of hours at times. But actually busting a nut? That’s the elusive part. So here I am wondering if anyone else experienced something similar after so many years of a similar lifestyle. I also hope one can somehow undo this conditioning and get back to a place where it’s easier to let one fly, or maybe this is the inevitable trade-off of chasing those high peaks for so long.

This is the fifth topic of mindless drivel you've let loose for today. Don't you have any shame?

So a few days ago GG made a post whining and moaning about having topic envy on AN, resulting from the many other topics in the Pub that are gaining so much more interest than his. Then, while feeling depressed and inadequate, he saw that a number of the trending topics are all about aging male issues. So, in a desperate attempt to get some clicks again, he comes up with this trolling concept to babble about doing a Bruce Jenner, while really he's just trying to steal back some eyeballs. He's really obsessed with AN and seemingly has nothing else in life to look forward to. So he will post anything he can think of for any effect. The worst thing that could ever happen to GG is that nobody reads his topics or posts replies to them anymore. That would be so soul-crushing for him. Even though he's trolling here, he would truly rather become a woman than not get any views or reactions to all of his ridonculous posts coming to you straight from the center for advanced lunacy. Yes, he truly is that desperate.

That sounds like a polite description of a scammer.

No digital nomads here. Just digital begpackers.

It’s fascinating how you confuse snarky one-liners with meaningful dialogue. Your idea of an “interesting conversation” seems to be more about avoiding real discussion. Keep hiding behind those emojis—it’s the only defense you’ve got. 😊

Looks like you’re just grasping at straws now. If your perspective is all you have, then I can see why you’re feeling so threatened. Maybe try engaging with a little more depth next time instead of relying on tired clichés.

If you think defending someone like him makes you relevant, you’re mistaken. This isn’t a popularity contest; it’s just you flailing to keep up in a conversation well above your pay grade. Perhaps you should focus on your own shortcomings before trying to champion someone else’s mediocrity.

Profound effect? The only thing you’ve achieved is to amuse me with your attempts at self-importance. You might see yourself as a big deal here, but to me, you’re just background noise in desperate need of relevance.

Ah, resorting to the old “arguing with an idiot” line. It’s a classic move when someone’s out of substance but still wants the last word. If that’s really how you see it, feel free to sit out—but we both know you’ll be back.

Ah, a ‘meaningful conversation’—interesting spin for someone so fond of emoji smirks and quick jabs. If you’re capable of more, by all means, show us. So far, all I’m seeing is projection.

Catty? I’d call it clarity—something you might find if you moved beyond playground quips. But hey, if you need to cling to the basics, I won’t stop you.