SoCal1990

So you got the two common routes you see foreign men take in Thailand. The “settle down with a Thai wife” path, and the “short-time, no-strings” path. The wife route often comes with a hefty monthly price tag. Family costs, house, car, ongoing support, it all adds up really fast. And after the honeymoon period fades, a lot of these guys quietly admit they’re lucky to get it once a week, some go months, some basically live in a sexless routine with constant financial outflow. Living the "quiet roommate" life. At best it's like living with a maid. Then there’s the short-time crew. Pay as you go, zero drama, no in-laws, no PMS, no monthly bills except rent and beer, more action in a week than most married guys see in a year, always on demand, always with a smile. They spend less, get more, and keep their freedom. And they can hire a maid if they need one to clean their place and do their laundry. So who’s really ahead in the long run? Maybe the wife-life is just a stable trap with diminishing returns. Or maybe it’s pure bliss. Maybe the short-time guys are the smart ones, avoiding the slow financial and emotional bleed. Or maybe they’re the ones missing out on something. Guess it all depends on one's own perspective.

I've heard plenty of retirees in Thailand who say they’re here until the end. That Thailand is where they plan to spend the rest of their life, no intention of ever moving back home, or anywhere else, no desire to ever leave, etc. But I’ve always wondered, what would actually be a game changer that makes someone up and leave after so many years of living in Thailand? In fact, I ask myself the same question all the time, but never really come up with a good answer. I believe there is an answer though. Everyone has a breaking point on everything. Would it take a major political shift? New visa rules and costs that make long stays much more challenging? Health issues that push you back towards Western healthcare? A major natural disaster? A large increase in crime? Maybe a pronounced rise in population of an undesirable immigrant group, or maybe some big environmental issue like constant flooding, excessive pollution, or earthquakes? What about if they abolished all nightlife and alcohol sales in Thailand? What if the happy ending massage was no more? Or would it be something more personal, like problems in a relationship or the simple and difficult reality of aging? I suspect some people will feel there’s no scenario where they’d ever leave, no matter how bad things might ever get. Curious though what others think would be the final straw that sends one packing after deciding to remain in Thailand for the duration.

It’s something I’ve heard said more than a few times, that women who spend enough time working in Thailand’s nightlife scene can never really go back to seeing male–female relationships in the same humanistic way again. After a certain point, some say they stop viewing men as people and start seeing them purely as wallets. Acts of genuine care or generosity expressed by a man aren’t seen as kindness anymore, but as obligations, or even just opportunities to extract more from a man. Manipulation becomes a skill, and emotional connection starts to feel irrelevant. There’s also the idea that after being with a large number of men, purely as a business transaction, that something shifts in them mentally. That it changes how they view sex, intimacy, and even themselves. That the line between affection and performance blurs so much, they eventually lose track of what’s real and can never recover from having turned into some form of emotionally damaged goods. Maybe it’s just an undeserved stereotype used to shame women in the industry, or maybe there’s an uncomfortable truth buried within there. But is it even fair to blame them? Or is it just a consequence of doing what they had to do to survive in a system that rewards them for being that way?

I've met quite a few foreigners who talk a big game, like they’ve got some major deal going on. You’ll hear things about big property investments, past business empires, crypto wins, or some project they’re “about to launch.” But then you notice they’re living in cheap rentals, don't spend much, and seem to have an unusual amount of free time. Maybe they’re just harmless storytellers trying to impress others. Or maybe there’s more to it. This kind of fake posturing could also damage the reputation of the broader foreign community, especially for those who live quietly, play by the rules, and don’t cause problems. And you have to wonder, how often does this kind of behavior spill over into trouble? Are these the same types who overstay visas, run shady hustles, perpetrate scams or leave unpaid bills behind? Or is it all just empty talk from people who want to feel important? You must have come across or at least heard of this type of expat in Thailand...

Some foreigners in Thailand go out of their way to present themselves as the “good guy.” They distance themselves from tourists, sexpats, drunks, cheap charlies, and other long-stayers, proudly talking about how they’ve fully integrated. They support their Thai partner’s family, cover expenses, donate to temples, or “give back” to the community in other ways. Maybe it’s all sincere. Maybe they’re genuinely trying to be respectful and do the right thing in a country that isn’t their own. But sometimes, it starts to seem performative. Like being the “good farang” becomes part of their identity and something they want others to recognize. So where’s the line between doing good and just playing the role of the knight in shining armor? Does it actually help others, or is it just another way to feel morally superior to the rest?

Is it true that foreign men often move to Thailand because they “can’t get women” in their own countries? Whether it’s due to age, appearance, income, personality, or just bad luck, it seems some might come here to reset that playing field. If that’s the case, one might view these men as taking advantage of economic inequality or social dynamics. Others might say it’s a win-win, two adults finding mutual benefit in a relationship. And then there’s the question no one really asks out loud: even if they could date back home in the West, would they even want to? Or do many men now simply prefer being with an Asian partner and living in Asia instead?

Yep, his situation doesn't sound good. Thoughts and prayers.

Presumably they weren't in that situation when they first arrived. But maybe a series of bad choices after arriving.

A solid lifestyle. No reason to change a thing.

Say hello to the ignore list.

Right, because the topics you create are absolute masterclasses in originality. Unless it’s about weed, you’re lucky to get 1-2 replies, sometimes none. No wonder trolling others is all you’ve got. Obsession looks rough on you.

Solid trolling effort. Still no original thought, but your persistence is commendable. Keep trying, one day you might even post something useful or relevant.

You could say his threads fit the mold of this topic.

Another complainer. Touching that you always show up with such strong wisdom. Must be exhausting keeping such close tabs on my posts. Meanwhile, the topics you create are all fantastic. Oh wait…

There is a certain type of long-term expat in Thailand who seems to complain about just about everything, the corruption, the traffic, the bureaucracy, the air pollution, the heat, the visa system, the customer service, even about the locals. Some of these types of foreigners have been here for decades, are constantly criticizing the country, but never actually go somewhere else, or back to where they came from, even though they feel unhappy. If a place makes someone that unhappy, why do they stay? Maybe it's a kind of quiet addiction to the chaos, or even just the comfort of complaining? I suspect there could be some unspoken truth that, despite all the moaning, Thailand still offers a kind of freedom or simplicity they don’t feel they’d find back home and that's why they stay. Or maybe they really do want to leave, but they are simply stuck here for financial reasons.