HenryRoths

My wife and I have already discussed the possibility of a close separation during some of our many arguments. Meaning, she repeatedly offered to take my daughter and move into her “brother’s” house, which has a lot of empty space and is located just down the road from us. She has also refused to just leave by herself and to leave our daughter to stay with me. Though moving down the road would at least keep my daughter living close by to me. But the so called brother drinks a bit heavy at times too, which means he sometimes misses going to work, then he just lies around being lazy, and doesn't act particularly pleasant, plus he also has a couple of loud dogs. So it wouldn’t be a very positive or peaceful environment for my daughter to grow up in at his house at all in my opinion. And the thought of me staying here in this/my house alone (if my wife and daughter move down the road) doesn’t give me a good feeling either. I rather go back to Europe as I mentioned. I still have some family there too. But I am not going to do that if the future for my daughter remains uncertain. Unfortunately I still need to work for at least another 10 years, but luckily my work is mainly done online. So I can work both from here or from Europe. Either location is OK for me in this regard. Also, I am definitely my daughter's father. She has my skin tone and my green eyes. As a result though of some of the bickering and negative replies above, I don't know if I will respond here again. It also seems a bit toxic on this website and frankly, I don't need the extra stress right now or much see the point in it.

Hi everyone, I’ve been living in northern Thailand for twelve years and married to my Thai wife for seven. We’ve had our ups and downs, but recently things have become unbearable for me, and I am trying to figure out how to move forward. In the perfect situation, I would like to go back to my own country in Europe, but it's not so simple. I'll explain. Firstly, the financial strain induced from her family is becoming overwhelming. Not just the actual money, but the emotional burden too. Her family constantly asks for money, and recently it began taking a toll on my savings. Her father has a serious gambling problem is what I believe is the underlying issue, and I’ve bailed him out more times than I can count, but the excuse is always that he needs money to help keep his commercial truck repair business afloat. It’s reached a point where I feel like I’m also enabling this hidden gambling problem of his. On top of that, and I know that people will find this shocking, but I’ve started to suspect that my wife’s “brother” might actually be her boyfriend. He’s always around, and they seem overly familiar with each other in ways that make me uncomfortable. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she gets defensive and angry and accuses me of not trusting her or her family. I was told secretly once many years ago by an uncle of hers in the family that her mother had various boyfriends when she was younger, but also already married to my wife's father at that time. Some even suspect some of her older siblings might have a different father because they are much darker skinned than my wife and the 3 other younger siblings. So maybe my wife is no different than her own mother in that sense in terms of infidelity when already married. Apples don't fall too far from the tree, right? We also have a three-year-old daughter together, and that’s what makes this situation even harder. I’m considering ending the relationship because I can’t continue living like this, but I’m deeply worried about my daughter. I don’t want her to grow up without her father around, and I fear what kind of environment she’ll be raised in if I leave. Even though I would be sending financial support for my daughter after any separation, I don't trust the family values my daughter might grow up with from always being surrounded by my wife's family. I would really like to be able to take my daughter and go back to Europe. That would be the best case scenario. I still have a house there and she would get a good education. I’ve thought about trying to get custody, but I know that’s incredibly difficult for a man here in Thailand, especially for a foreigner. I want to do what’s best for my daughter, but I’m stuck between staying in a toxic relationship or leaving and potentially losing my daughter. Has anyone been through something similar here in Thailand? Thanks.