Thank you all for the answers. I know this is unusual, but it’s real.
Here is some more background information:
Background:
I'm a 22-year-old U.S. student graduating in Summer 2025, planning to live several months a year in Asia.
From January to May 2025, I’ll stay in Asia to study, then return in June for exams (on a tourist visa, staying in Thailand for 90 days).
Afterwards, I’ll work in the US. but visit Asia several months a year. When I’m older (late 20s), I plan to live in Asia more permanently.
I met her in February 2024. That summer, I stayed in her home while taking online classes, paying only the power bill (4,000 baht/month). I got sex daily, and she became pregnant, but we lost the baby in September.
This winter, we discussed me staying with her for several months, getting her pregnant, and giving a 100,000 baht Sin Sod.
Money:
I'm not a too naive farang though. I've been giving as as little as possible: less than 10,000 baht directly over nine months.
She earns 10,000–15,000 baht/month as a hospital or teacher’s assistant.
She hasn’t asked me to support her kids, but I assume the little money I’ve given goes toward them.
In 5–10 years, I see myself working in financial services in the US or Asia, or possibly as a remote digital nomad in data science. The former is more likely because remote jobs are hard to get.
Concerns:
I’m worried she views me as an ATM due to the high Sin Sod demand and fights about money, though she was very kind while pregnant.
Justification:
It’s cheaper to have a family in Thailand, and $3,000 is much less than U.S. costs. However, it’s still a lot for me, and I’m concerned she might restrict access to my kids if I don’t provide more money down the line.
She’s okay with no US visa.
So far I plan to negotiate the Sin Sod down or pay over time.
I’ll fully support my child but not much more, but I won’t be present half the year.
I won’t need to buy a house or car like her ex—he already bought items my child can use.
Thoughts?