neilrob

hi all

i can not contact the germany's embassy, my friend will come thailand on 17-19 Oct , what should he does abou the visa? ohh forget something he is german but work in china, pls kindly help me .. Many thanks

No problem. If he is German he does not need a visa to visit. He will get a 30 day stay stamp in his passport at the airport when he arrives.

Thanks to Desi and Mynextgig for the information. Does anyone have a good used copy for sale? If so, please PM me.

Neil

I live in Chiang Mai and am trying to buy the book. The publisher, Orchid Press, does not reply to e-mails. Anyone know of another source within Thailand where I can order and get it sent to me? Thanks for any help.

Neil

Here's the first one for the list:

LYC Chiang Mai ลองแยงคลับเชียงใหม่

http://lyccnx.110mb.com

A Social Group for Asian and Western Gay men and Lesbians in Chiang Mai.

ชมรมที่สนับสนุนความเป็นเพื่อนเกย์ไทย-ฝรั่งที่เชีองใหม่

Very good idea!

During the rainy season I take water off the to of my rain collection tank right after there is a good downpour- tastes great. Dry season I get reusable plastic bottles delivered. Haven't gotten sick from either and don't expect to.

Finally someone who takes a rational approach to getting drinking water. We wait until a good storm has cleaned the air (and our roof) for several hours and then collect rain water. We fill tanks holding many thousands of litres in a few hours in a good storm. This reserve lasts us through the dry seaon, without any negative effect on the environment from plastic bottles or transport or reverse osmosis or whatever. We use naturally distilled water.

Why "changing" citizenship? I am a believer in having the citizenship of the country you are living in, so that you can be a participant in the life of that country. That is why I took US citizenship when I was living in the USA. I did not "change" my citizenship, since I just added US to my UK citizenship (perfectly legal in both countries, since both allow dual citizens). You can also be a dual citizen as far as Thai law is concerned. If I could, I would take Thai citizenship in a flash. Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to get---which is why congratulations were indeed in order for the poster who managed it. However, if I had to give up my US citizenship to get Thai citizenship, I would still do so without a moment's hesitation, since I intend to live here the rest of my life and have no intention of living in the US again.

Are there no year long Thai courses? When I asked about visas someone told me to get a year long non-ed and study thai

You can do the "Academic" Thai course at Payap (not the so-called "Intensive" course) and get an ed visa. My understanding is that you have to sign up for two terms. It is quite expensive---much more so than AUA. AUA will provide you a letter for immigration/consulate, but say that this may not get you the visa. However, I met several people studying at AUA who had got an ed visa on this basis, so it is worth talking to them.

Neil

though I entirely recommend the AUA-course, I have to say that there is no course these days using the Thai alphabet (at least not for the beginner level - otherwise I would have done that as I can already read most Thai, but barely speak).

my information is very up-to-date.

the 4200 Baht they charge is for 60 hours actually, not 30.

6 weeks, 2 hours each day, monday to friday (except public holidays).

many classes are fully booked, particularly the beginner courses.

the group is quite big (up to 12 students), but that means there is a lot of interaction between the students and the teacher, which is good and will make u more confident to actually USE what you have learned. and with no doubt, its more fun learning there than at Payap or CMU (though i still consider continuing my studies there once I have achieved a certain level). Ajarn BOONMARK is indeed a juwel of a teacher. a real THAI - means, a lot of sanook while learning, but as well full of knowledge and understanding of Farang culture.... he doesnt only have a good sense of humour, he even has a good sense of irony , which is extremely rare among Thai people....

oh, and the fried-chicken-skewers at the foodstall next door cost just 5 Baht....

I agree with the recommendation for AUA. I have taken the speaking & listening courses through level 4 (which is as far as they go) and both of the reading and writing courses there. I have also taken one of Payap's courses and prefer AUA---the teaching is better, AUA is cheaper and there is more chance of being able to continue studying at AUA, because Payap often do not run their classes because of shortage of students. This last factor also affects some of the classes at AUA---the second reading and writing course is sometimes not run through lack of students, and level 4 has only ever been run once---I'm planning to do it again the next time it is run.

In response to the point that there is no beginner level course using Thai alphabet, Reading and Writing I requires fairly little knowledge of Thai, so it would be possible to take it early in your studying.

Neil

And is it worth watching?

It sounds good, but I haven't seen it.

The front entrance to Kad Suan Keaw Shopping center is up the stairs past Starbucks near the entrance to Sizzler.

I saw their previous play, The Dodo Bird, and was disappointed. In spite of that, I was planning to see this one, but was dissuaded by a friend who says that, while the male lead is good, the female lead is not. I would be interested in other people's experience.

Reading this thread convinces me that most of the people who have contributed to it have never bothered really trying Thai wines. They probably tried one glass and wrote it off. Of course there are some perfectly decent Thai wines---Monsoon Valley makes a number and there are other decent wines also. Some have even won awards. Monsoon Valley actually export the majority of their production to the US and UK. To those who say there are no drinkable ones, I say, try drinking some! The problem is that they are not noticeably cheaper, for what they are, because of the tax. Consequently, I usually end up drinking the imports, but this is not because they are not drinkable. Try some with an open mind---you have only your prejudices to lose!

but if you care about someone then your prime consideration shouldn't be seeking out least possible support you can get away with.

Very good post. I agree particularly with the line quoted above---it isn't about "bargaining him down", as a previous poster suggested I do.

neilrob-for everything that has a price, then price matters.Bargain him down.That's my advice.

Good response. However, with respect to the last line and without, I hope, sounding ungracious, I did not start this topic to get advice. What I pay him I do voluntarily---I prefer to be generous.

In response to Steve's second message, as I said earlier, this topic was not supposed to be about my particular circumstances, but a more general discussion of the topic ranging from people in a somewhat commercial relationship (such as me) to people in a more traditionally boyfriend situation. Thus the title of the topic is accurate---I was trying to start a general discussion, not trying to start a discussion about me! I just used my particular circumstance as a topic starter (and, historically and now, relationships between older "married" men and younger mistresses, of whatever gender, have usually had significant financial components). But I do consider him a friend. Since people asked questions, I provided some further brief background. And, in response to Antimony, he's a bright guy who does not need encouragement to look to his future.

That said, I think there have been some interesting responses---I hope that the topic will continue, but get a bit broader.

Thanks to IJWT and Steve for the interesting responses. My motive in posting the question was really curiousity and to start a discussion on the topic. I do not intend to change the amount I pay my sammi noi---I can afford it (and more to the point, he knows I can afford it).

I agree with IJWT's point that someone who knows he is number 2 might expect more. This may sound paradoxical, but if you know the relationship is (at least in part) commercial, then you might expect more emphasis on money.

The responses raised some questions, which I will briefly respond to, in order to give a little background (although this topic was not supposed to be about my particular circumstances). He knows he is a sammi noi. I believe that the relationship is based not only on commercial considerations, but also on affection. There is certainly affection on my side. I believe he likes me and enjoys my company, but I am sure that without payment, the relationship would soon be over, and I am fine with this. However, I would not be happy if there were no affection at all and it were purely commercial for him. He does not have a job. I intend to support him for a long time to come, but I have made no promises. He is bright, capable, fairly well educated and good at saving, so he should have no problem when the time comes.

I hope this topic does not contravene forum rules. Many farangs provide some support to help their Thai partners. I was curious how much. To start off the topic, I have a "sammi noi". I do not live with him, since I have a primary partner. I see him about twice a week, sometimes for an evening, sometimes all day, and occasionally go on a trip with him, and, of course, pay all expenses when we are together. I give him 20,000B a month. I have also helped him with lump sums in other ways, but here I am asking about monthly payments. My impression is that this amount is reasonably generous, but I have heard of others who pay more under similar circumstances. What is your experience?

I agree that the cost is ridiculous. The US consulate charges $30, which is around 1000B at current rates. Even this seems too much, but is much more reasonable than the UK consulate. I have both UK and US passports, so could probably choose where to go. It's a pity there's not an open market for this---competition might bring the price down! Neil

From reading his two posts, I suspect that distortedlink is referring to "leasehold" because he/she does not understand that "condominium" is the name of a type of ownership. Owning a flat as a condominium is comparatively rare in England, where DL apparently comes from. Instead, most flats are owned on very long term leases, ie. leasehold, not condominium freehold as is common here or in the US, for example.

So, OP, did you tell the others? Please tell us what you finally decided to do.

Last night we had a short tremor, felt & sounded like a truck speeding past, at about 02.30, here in Mae-Jo.

I felt it---definitely seemed like an earth tremor. We live near to the Rimping which is at the Mae Jo Rd/first ring road junction, but a bit closer to the city.

Very good question. I find myself agreeing to some extent with every response so far (both tell the others and do not tell them!), which is not very helpful. However, I incline more to the reply by Ijustwannateach. Better I think for you not to tell the others. Better just to put it all behind you and start again. The one thing I would do is to delete all the e-mails from his account (he may well not have a note of e-mail addresses, since he tends to reply to old e-mails). Also, I would change the password on his e-mail account, so that he does not have access to it again (and then make sure you yourself forget the new password, so you are not tempted to look at the account again---put it behind you). This will probably have the effect of cutting his communications with people he has been deceiving, but without the bad karma of telling them.

Neil

Rhodesia's currency is not dollars...........

It is now (rather microscopic dollars admittedly).

It's $30 exactly. When I went there last, it was about 1000 Baht, if you want to pay in Thai currency, but it was cheaper to pay in USD. They accept credit cards.

Neil

Why is monogamy in a gay relationship important? I just don't get it.

I dont get it, either.Did the Church marry you?Is your gay sex based on the bible?Is this what your grandma taught you, or the Sunday school teacher?No.Does my sammi noi want to be my #1 wife?Probably.

IMHO I think monogamy is important in any relationship not just in a gay one. But as it is apparently very difficult for gays to commit to one guy it has added importance to some gays as it is difficult to achieve. Because gays put so much importance into the sexual side of a relationship, as soon as it becomes, lets say, boring in ones relationship, instead of finding ways to work at it, one or both go off looking for sex elsewhere because it is relatively easy to find. That's why I say most so called LTR are more like glorified friendships.

Also, Im sure most guys in a relationship who cheat have some level of guilt in doing so. That is reason enough not to do it because we dont like that feeling and find it difficult on some level to deal with it. Those who dont have guilt are not really in a LTR but a friendship of convenience probably because they dont like being alone.

Im not quite sure what the bible has to do with monogamy. Maybe it was mentioned in it and in other religious scriptures. There is probably a reason for that but only those who care about such things need to concern themselves with it.

For me if you can achieve monogamy you are achieving something that we all should be aiming for and if you dont think like that you are probably just kidding yourselves in believing your way is ok.

Straights or gays in a monogamous relationship should be applauded for their commitment to each other. The rest of us should try harder!

I disagree with almost everything in this post (except that, for those who want it, I have nothing against monogamy). The poster is making the mistake he accuses others of making---attaching too much importance to the sexual side of a relationship. Just because there may be no sex in a relationship after many years does not reduce the relationship to a "glorified friendship"---love is more important than sex at any stage in a relationship. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have had a number of "sammi nois" over the (many) years. I have not been "cheating", and have not felt guilty, because I have always tried to be straightforward and honest, not only with my partner, but with the sammi noi.

Anyway, whether or not an LTR is operative, most gay men I've gotten to know (anywhere) are not rigourously monogamous, though many of them pretend for their partners. Anyway, there should be SOME advantages to not following the "wife, kids, house with white fence" model.

I agree---what's the point of being gay (particularly in Thailand) if you can't have fun!

My Thai partner and I have been together for more than 30 years. Over this time, for some periods, both of us have had other partners, but always with the knowledge of the other. I have always tried to be honest and straightforward about the situation, not only with my long term partner, but also with the "sammi noi"---I do not pretend to him that I am single. In general, when there is a sammi noi, my long term partner does not want to meet or hear anything about him, beyond the simple fact of his existence.