villagefarang

After two years living together, we eloped and told our families and friends after the fact.  Many years later when we moved to Chiangrai from Bangkok, we built a house and did not have the traditional house warming party either.  We have also chosen not to have kids.  Twenty-two years later we are still in love, still breaking all the rules and living a great life.????????

Everyone seems to have the definitive opinion on Thai/Farang relationships, based on their very limited experience.  While most seem to blame the failures and horror stories on the women, I tend to blame the men.  Statistically marriage is a coin toss, even within your own culture and language, yet men come here thinking they are so cleaver and handsome making major life changing decisions with no thought of the consequences and with little or no experience.

I have an absolutely amazing relationship with my wife but I have never met a couple quite like us.  We are far from the norm and can't be put forth as an example of what is attainable for most.  Circumstances vary between people and over time, with no formula which works for everyone at every stage of their lives.  If I were to arrive in Thailand today for the first time, I am quite sure my wife would not give me a second look.  When we met was as important as who we were and who we have become over time.  

Still I understand the fascination with topics like this because it allows for the venting of ones frustrations and self-serving opinions.  Unfortunately, knowledge, logic and understanding seem to play no part in affairs of the heart.????

This is how my morning starts.  Living in Chiangrai, I am spoiled for choice and continue to find new sources for locally grown beans, which are great.  I do have friends who travel and send me interesting stuff they come across in other countries, too.

On 9/29/2019 at 12:07 AM, Iren1cuss said:

Back to my original question. Has it always been like this?

No, it hasn't always been like this.  Things started down this path when Thailand was promoted as an ideal dumping ground for emotional and financial refugees.  Before that you encountered a different kind of person who was here for different reasons .  There were fewer of us back then and we weren't causing any problems, so things were much more relaxed and we were given the benefit of the doubt.  

Most of my generation left or died over the years and we were replaced by people who seem to go out of their way to be obnoxious and disrespectful.  To come uninvited into someone's home and act the way many do, it is a wonder the authorities are as tolerant as they are.  Trying to make this less of a safe haven for criminal elements and closing some long abused loopholes, from their point of view, seems reasonable.  It is not fair that everyone gets caught up in this cleanup attempt but I am hopeful things will level out at some point.  It always has in the past.????

My previous bike photo went missing so here is a repost.????

15 minutes ago, rumak said:

On 9/29/2019 at 11:20 PM, 4evermaat said:

Many times TV is the only way for a foreigner to vent their issues about cultural differences as they may not live very close to foreigners where they are.

 

I strongly suggest interacting with local foreigners offline.  Much different experience.

translation please.   i have tried but can not understand what you are saying

I believe he is stating his belief that face to face communication with other foreigners is much different and preferable to online banter.  Personally I think what people say online reveals much more about a person than face to face communication does.  People are afraid to speak their minds in person.

I’ve been around long enough that I guess nobody notices anymore when I’m out on the trails. A few dogs came over to say hello on my 8 kilometer run this morning but they were very friendly. I live more than 50 km from town but I take my gym clothes with me and try to work in a bit of weight lifting at the gym whenever I’m in town. If you are determined you’ll find someway to stay fit, just don’t give up.

Jackfruit not Durians.????

Because of our bloody and violent history of attempted world domination, certain words carry a lot of baggage with them.  That is our history, not Thai history.  Most of their conflict has been with immediate neighbors over land and survival.  Black and White, Christian and Muslim, Hitler and Jews, Western and Native People, slavery, colonization...just don't have the same relevance or meaning to Thais who were not involved.  They are blissfully ignorant of our deep phycological hangups and can't be expected to know every little thing which might upset us.

7 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

Best part of being here is my Thai wife.

I have similar feelings toward my wife of 22 years.  We just got back from a great day hiking in the mountains.  Nothing intellectual about our day but it was filled with joy, caring, sharing and a lot of exercise.

We went to check on the progress of the new road from Chiang Khong to town.  The section from the 1020 to the Ing River is paved but the bridge is not very far along.  When finished it will shorten our drive to town considerably.

This is my ongoing attempt at posting some of the good things in my life.

It is their country and their language, to do with as they wish.  As I said earlier, they can't be expected to follow some irrelevant rules they have never heard of, from a country they have never been to.  I have lived here longer than most of you and I have never been offended by the word farang and I use it myself when it makes sense to do so in normal conversation.  If you are offended, then in my opinion, you are just looking for an excuse to be offended.  Fortunately for you, this term is not going away anytime soon, so you can continue to be offended for many years to come.????

I find the word Farang a very convenient form of shorthand, easily understood and widely used here in Thailand. It would be silly to expect Thais to adhere to some rules they have never heard of from a country they have never been to.

I am fond of the Oscar Wilde quote “Give a man a mask and he’ll tell you the truth.”   I believe what they say while wearing that mask is far closer to their true mature than what they tell you to your face.

My best friends are Thai and I have a great life here.  Just try to view the negative comments about Thais and Thailand as a window onto the soul of the writer.  The darkness they display came with them and will no doubt follow them wherever they journey in life.

My personal expectations and requirements for close personal friendship are probably more stringent than most but I am still able to find good friends here.  The people I spend time with ask for nothing but my company and friendship.  I feel quite lucky to be a farang living in Thailand.  I am not sure I would like to be Thai as I am quite content living without the social constrains imposed on most Thais.